Tuesday 29 August 2023

Thousand Year Door Chapter 6: Three Days of Excess

Chapter 6 is blatantly a breather chapter, and unlike 64, it actually leaned into it more than just aesthetically.

Day 1 introduces the peril of the chapter- that being Beldam's suspicious threat- and runs through the motions of a whodunnit mystery. It introduces red herrings for you to dismiss, while still keeping to the theme of things that might actually be legitimate solutions to the initial threat (...although the Goldbobbingtons are pushing it). These sequences are entirely narrative focused, requiring the player to run along the length of the train to find and retrieve solutions. While this is an effective way to eliminate everybody necessary for the mystery, this may be quietly one of the more frustrating legs of backtracking in the game- especially since you have to dismount Yoshi in order to switch carriages. Without enemies to trip you up, it remains a quiet instance. There's a few frustrating Flags for repeat players, but otherwise this is the game establishing yeah, it's a better writer than designer.

Day 2 has the answer to the mystery, and follows up with the chapter's only dungeon. I kinda feel like removing the Shadow Sirens as a boss here ruins the buildup, though. Yeah, I can see them not wanting to throw Doopliss at us here, but Beldam and Marilyn alone could surely suffice. They wouldn't be as scary as they were in a trio, but I'm not really asking them to be scary- I'm asking them to follow up the Doopliss reveal by actually attempting to hinder us through more than just the Smorgs. Marilyn could guard the Ultra Boots while Beldam has a (comically lacklustre) boss in front of the switch, before she throws the Smorgs at us while we're not looking. With the Shadow Sirens disappearing from Riverside Station entirely, their absence is really felt in the emptiness of the station. Perhaps that's to let down our guards.

Day 3 is the climactic battle with Smorg. Yes, this game was contractually obligated to have a boss fight on top of the train, and yes, the Shadow Sirens could never have been dramatic enough to sub in like Magnus von Grapple can, so I am on board with the idea of Smorg. Frankly, I'm not even entirely sure explaining what his deal is can be much of an improvement. It would bog down the pacing and there's only so much "hive mind tentacle monster" lore you can make before I start questioning you for other reasons. The only lore they needed was "Beldam is the reason the Smorgs are on board the train".

At Poshley Heights itself, we see Pennington reveal himself to be not a detective- a reveal that was very apparent from hearing him talk. The joke was actually kind of funny, in a very dark "watch him talk himself into a situation he isn't smart enough to be in" kind of way, but they do kinda make him come off as if the characters are legitimately buying his detective work rather than merely humouring him, which is only sorta funny a few times and quickly turns into terrifying following the in-character logic. Mario figuring out Zip Toad feels more like it's all on the player to follow the whodunnit clues than anybody in-universe solving the case through sound logic and reasoning. "Discoloured nose hair".

Mechanically, Chapter 6 is a bunch of Flags to hit on the train, a dungeon that combines mildly frustrating platforming with far less frustrating enemies (although considering Parabuzzies and Poison Pokeys, perhaps less than intended), a boss fight that's easy to deal with and can kill you fast if you're not ready for it- a neat match for a boss that doesn't have any endurance elements before facing it- and then a short town with a puzzle that is longer for travel time than it is difficulty. Overall, you do kinda wish Ultra Boots let you walk faster as well as jump higher, but this wasn't as awful as "plot-heavy chapter in a game that has backtracking issues" would have you suggest. Besides, we don't even need to turn this star into the Door to know where number 7 is.

Monday 28 August 2023

TTYD Chapter 6 Day 3: Smorgs on a Train

Day 3 won't actually have any mysteries. I'm sorry to say this.

Although we are going to have something exciting to start us off.

Really, again?

Oy, Mario, 'ow's yer 'stache? Life on the island feels great! When the sun rises, I wakey-wakey, and when it sets, I tuck in fer snoozer-time! Perfect fer a simple bloke like me, right?
Every now an' then that cretin Flavio spits out some bit o' drivel about treadin' water instead o' seizin' life, but I just tune 'im out.
So, you off on another adventure? I think that suits you best. Give them 'ooligans what for an' save your princess!
   From, Pa-Patch

Well, that's certainly the right time of day to reflect on how nice it is to wake up in the morning.

...Flavio is going to Keelhaul Key, is he? I didn't imagine he had much reason to.

Ghost T. comments on Poshley Sanctum, and surprisingly, has a bit of a gameplay hint. Why Ghost T.?

Anyway, for unrelated reasons, my Badge setup. Just... no reason.

...Toodles?

Sunday 27 August 2023

TTYD Chapter 6 Day 2: Little Grey Cells

A new day, a new set of mysteries to unfurl.

Heff T. is now friends with Shimi. I guess things work out.

Now that we've met Ghost T., he will be an NPC in this room for the rest of the game regardless of time of day. He only takes a mild interest in goings on around the train, though.

Huh, who now?

Oh.

Saturday 26 August 2023

TTYD Chapter 6 Day 1: Rudimentary, My Dear Vivian

Welcome aboard the Excess Express. Where are we going? Insane! At the speed of crazy! Wait, wrong notes. This train ride will be anything but smooth sailing, although what form that will take will change around as we progress along the rail to Poshley Heights.

We start with our own room. Every passenger on board has their own room, but none of the staff do, for some reason. I'm not sure where they sleep.

Goombella: Wow! The Excess Express! This is soooo totally luxurious! The three days to Poshley Heights are just gonna fly by! Omigosh, I'm so PSYCHED!
Koops: Imagine! The Excess Express! This is pretty darn nice! The three days to Poshley Heights ought to go pretty quick, huh?
Flurrie: Mercy! The Excess Express! This is rather magnificent! I could get used to this! ♥ The three days to Poshley Heights will be over in the wink of an eye!
Dr. Agon: Aw, yeah, the Excess Express! This is so deluxe, man! The three days to Poshley Heights are gonna be over like THAT!
Bobbery: Harumph! The Excess Express! Rather posh, I must say! Yes, rather posh, indeed! The three days to Poshley Heights ought to pass in an eyeblink, eh, old boy?
Ms. Mowz: Mmmm... the Excess Express! Now this is what I call traveling in style! The three days to Poshley Heights will be over before we know it, dearie!

So, uh... does room service get lumped into Don Pianta's ticket? I mean, we can afford it, but I'm not sure I really want to lose the money.

Goombella: Huh? There's something on the floor! Was that there when we arrived?
Koops: Hey... There's something on the floor, there. Weird... When did that get there?
Flurrie: Hm? Mario, dear, there's a bit of trash on the floor. How long was that there?
Dr. Agon: Huh? Hey! You see that? Something on the floor! When did that get there?
Bobbery: Hm, now? Well, I'll be bombed! What's that on the floor? And when did it get there?
Ms. Mowz: Mmmmm? There's something on the floor... Trash, perhaps? When did that get there?

Funnily, Vivian seems to be the only party member who doesn't seem to think that note wasn't there last time she looked. On one hand, she's used to gaslighting. On the other hand, this is going to be relevant information.

We can't even spend five seconds in the land of the rich without getting a death threat. Sounds about par for the course for a trans girl.

...OK, I love the weird interspersed nature of of Vivian panicking about Beldam's sinister plans and stifling her laughter at the idea this danger will take the form of "sticky, yummy doom". Even as a victim of abuse at these hands, even she can't take this entirely seriously.

Goombella: What a totally weird threat! You think Beldam has anything to do with it? Well, one way or the other, the note's appearance means the culprit's on the train! Ooh, I HATE threats! Let's get this nutjob before they try anything!
Koops: Ummm... That's an odd threat. You don't think that Beldam put it there, do you? Well, the fact that it appeared now means the culprit's on the train! We have to get this weird threatener before they do anything sticky or yummy!
Flurrie: A threat... a very odd one! You don't suppose Beldam is responsible, do you? Well, whoever the culprit is, they are most assuredly on this train! Let's get this villain before they try anything!
Dr. Agon: Whoa! What a freaky threat! You don't think this could be Beldam's work, do you? Whoever this psycho is, you gotta figure they're on this train, right? We gotta get this nut! Before anything bad goes down on this train!
Bobbery: Rather odd threat, eh? You don't think that Beldam crone's responsible, do you? Well, regardless of who it may be, the scoundrel is surely on this very train! Let's roust this swine before he or she has the chance to cause mischief!
Ms. Mowz: Mm... What a strange threat... Do you think that Beldam woman might be behind it? Well, at any rate, the fact that the note is here means the culprit is on the train. We must find this ne'er-do-well before he or she can hatch a plan!

And this is where the note's "sudden appearance" becomes relevant- if it was only put there after we got on the train, our culprit is also on the train somewhere.

Yup. Put on your deer-stalker caps and keep a good clasp on your pocket-watches, dear readers, for we have stumbled into a story straight out of Herringway.

Sunday 20 August 2023

TTYD Post-Chapter 5 Part 2: Whacked By Natural Causes

It is time to return to the Pit of 100 Trials, and make our way to Floor 50 for loot.

Unfortunately, we will have to go through 1-30 again, but this seems like a decent chance to showcase Stampede, since it is still a cool attack.

...With a bit of a weird Action Command, admittedly.

All hail the dinosaur wrangler!

...Wow, that's a lot of extra HP you've got there.

It would be a shame if...


Something were to happen to it! He doesn't actually spontaneously combust on losing 5 max HP, but it is nice to have another Badge. If we never want it, we can always sell it!

Stage hazards froze the Pokeys. We seem to have escaped, thankfully, or else this would get dead boring for a while.

More Badge Poins for the BP gods.

With Zap Tap on, it's for the best he missed.

Yay, double one Star Point! She can do that.

Unfortunately, Ms. Mowz's Love Slap only pierces Defence. You're on your own with invisibility.

At least the stage is finally working for me?

Vivian pulling off Fiery Jinx to just make all the Bob-ombs go away.

Saturday 19 August 2023

TTYD Post-Chapter 5 Part 1: The Real Glory

We return to the X-Naut base to watch Grodus berate Crump over hologram screen. Because Crump would not be alive if he showed up in person.

That was his second failure to rob Mario of a Crystal Star, and I'm sure not dealing with Mario and Goombella at the port cost him points too.

"He somehow talked ghost pirates into giving him a ship to fight back with! How the hell were we supposed to deal with that!?"

Fortunately, Grodus is willing to give Crump one more try.

Just the one, though.

And until that time, he doesn't want to see Crump's face.

"Every time I send somebody at Mario, they fail. Have they considered just... not?"

Hopefully this time, Beldam not stopping her plans to bully Vivian gives them an edge.

Grodus sits down, and begins to formulate contingency plans. Mario's going to come this way eventually...