We return to the X-Naut base to watch Grodus berate Crump over hologram screen. Because Crump would not be alive if he showed up in person.
That was his second failure to rob Mario of a Crystal Star, and I'm sure not dealing with Mario and Goombella at the port cost him points too.
"He somehow talked ghost pirates into giving him a ship to fight back with! How the hell were we supposed to deal with that!?"
Fortunately, Grodus is willing to give Crump one more try.
Just the one, though.
And until that time, he doesn't want to see Crump's face.
"Every time I send somebody at Mario, they fail. Have they considered just... not?"
Hopefully this time, Beldam not stopping her plans to bully Vivian gives them an edge.
Grodus sits down, and begins to formulate contingency plans. Mario's going to come this way eventually...
Once again, it's straight to TEC's room.
And despite TEC's defection, Peach is still wary around them. I'm not sure on what grounds, but considering the possibilities, I can see how she's in no hurry to be of assistance.
They may not have a face, but TEC wears their emotions on their sleeve.
...Where that sleeve is, though, I dunno.
TEC has built up a lot of goodwill, and another mission like the last time Peach went outside B4F would bring that crashing down. This sounds like a mission that is worse than that one.
Grodus has something TEC wants.
Let's start with the obvious question: What are we dealing with here?
TEC is the mainframe of the X-Naut Fortress. Anybody who logs into a terminal in this facility connects to TEC. Somebody who uses a personal computer, though, can just... not connect.
And Grodus keeps his cards so close to his chest that there is information that he doesn't even want TEC to know. This man is a delusional nutcase. You have a top-secret facility and you don't even log your entire plan into your computer network.
This doesn't seem all that different from the disguise mission. And in some regards, it really isn't.
But TEC's learned a bit from that disaster of a mission. Grodus is too closed off and paranoid for disguises to work.
Disguising Peach as an X-Naut simply doesn't make her any more trustworthy to Grodus. The only thing Grodus trusts is Grodus himself.
TEC does have something in mind, though.
This is the most significant contrast between the disguise mission and this one. The first time around, TEC twisted Peach's arm into lending a hand. This time, TEC really tried everything they could, failed, and took a deep-founded risk in deciding they needed Peach.
And Peach seems more receptive to lending a hand when she realises TEC would genuinely rather execute the plan without her.
Back up to B2F we go.
It's a long walk there, but thankfully the X-Nauts are on their coffee break.
We walk past a second elevator in addition to a number of locked doors on the way over.
This is a TTYD Peach intermission I highlighted back in 64, because this is going to be a mission that directly improves on one of 64's worst Peach intermissions.
Peach and TEC need to brew a complicated potion that will fundamentally, yet impermanently, alter Peach's biological state.
TEC knows how to brew it, but only Peach can actually do all the manual handling necessary to get it to work. This is basically TTYD's take on the "bake a cake" intermission from 64, and it's amazing how much just changing the premise of the sequence does to fix all of the flaws that one suffered from.
They even added an extra complication compared to 64, where TEC doesn't actually have the complete recipe in front of him, and you need to logic it out from a handful of clues.
We have four potions to put in four spots, conforming to the following rules:
This is actually more information than necessary: When you enter the room, there is no need for you to head all the way left of the room, and thus not read the fourth clue shown. The first three clues tell you enough about the arrangement that you can solve the puzzle with them alone.
I feel like the last thing the X-Nauts were doing in this room was brewing an invisibility potion, which is why there are memos for that specific formula in the room. TEC's decision to use Peach for this mission now, as opposed to later, may be influenced by the fact this chemistry setup won't be available if they hesitate too long.
The four potions are inventory items for Peach to collect, rather than items she has to carry into the slots, like the ingredients were in 64.
The red and green potions are the two potions on either end, and the red one cannot be the one on the right. That forces it here.
With green as its opposite number.
Blue sits next to red.
And orange sits in the only position available to it.
TEC pauses after every instruction to ensure that Peach is maximally confident in what she has done before continuing. Twink did something similar in the process of baking the cake, but the raised stakes of this situation add greater weight to the decisions. TEC is just as nervous of failure as Peach probably is.
They start using a siren here. That will kinda keep playing until the brewing is done.
That creates a vial that will be taken by conveyor to the preparation area.
And then begins a timing minigame- the beaker will stop, and the lights around the window will light up. You need to press the button to fill up the beaker with a dollop of whatever potion is inside.
This goes on until you fill it up, and involves multiple doses from a few potions. It will never ask for more than one dose of the same potion in a row, though.
And of course, there's a repeat of the 30 second timer. I'm not sure what the error bars are on this one, nor could I tell you if they brought back the underflow glitch. I can only imagine it doesn't, if only because overheating a potion might be liable to cause it to explode.
I'm told there are multiple failure states, although I am very much not interested in experimenting with them. The textdump doesn't seem to tell me what they might be other than "not invisible".
And now comes the moment of reckoning.
Even if the successful potion doesn't inspire more confidence than the rest.
I do have to wonder if "drink all of it" is just as much to keep it out of X-Naut hands as it is the correct directions.
Thank goodness.
...Well done, TTYD. We've gone from a direct improvement over one of the more flawed 64 intermissions to a joke about getting one of the icons of women in gaming naked. The range on this game, I swear...
Thank your lucky stars this game is (somehow) rated G and there'll be no danger of that potion wearing out before it's over.
...
Really, this game is rated PEGI 3+? After everything we've been through, the ratings board let it go that low? Yes, nothing's been explicit...
Peach is able to go just off-screen to take off her dress.
Thankfully, she can be spotted by the shadow she casts. Mario has a permanent drop-shadow for platforming reasons in all Mario games, and surprisingly, it turns out the same is true of Peach. Maybe that's a biological difference of Mushroom Kingdom humans compared to real ones.
Anyway, TEC needs us to find the data disk they want, connect it to TEC's network, and then come back.
We'll worry about turning back to normal afterwards.
*It's the best I could come up with, and I deeply regret half the variables.*
No, Peach's dress is not seen in the corner. Not sure where she'd put it, even.
...That could get awkward later. The X-Nauts are back on patrol.
Although this guy is going to have a bad time questioning his sanity for a few days.
Unlike when we were an X-Naut, NPCs will not even spot us while we are invisible. They wouldn't talk to us, but they do not even give an indication they are ready to be talked to.
Although you can run into the ones walking around and make them stop moving. Which is almost even funnier.
Anyway, here's Grodus's room, guarded by a red Yux. He really splurdged on the carpeting, huh?
Also has a full tank of Nibbles. I bet he's the one putting those in the ecosytem, the bastard.
This particular design on a yellow floppy disk (really, Grodus? You've got a secret base right out of Star Trek and you're still using floppies?) should look very familiar to Nintendo nerds. It is, however, a Japanese-exclusive peripheral, so the reference may be lost on anyone unfamiliar with all of Nintendo's quirky add-ons.
Peach is able to log on to TEC's network herself.
After all, all it involves, apparently, is booting up the Famicom Disk System! The FDS was an extension of the Famicom (known internationally as the NES), where it could be used to play games with higher sound quality, more content and in general be bigger than the Famicom's capacities. This didn't make it to the NES, but many iconic NES games were originally made for the FDS- such as the Legend of Zelda I- and the international versions of them had to make a few sacrifices. Japanese gamers who lived through the era would be expected to recognise the jingle.
The events playing out don't seem to reflect the cameo on the computer screen. Presumably, whatever Peach is doing is appropriate to "logging a computer onto TEC's network" rather than this abstraction.
They even have Mario and Luigi push the button. I wonder if Grodus recognises Mario from the FDS bootup.
All done.
Nobody suspects a thing!
TEC didn't say a single thing during Grodus's room, huh? I guess they really aren't allowed in there. Fortunately, the data we extracted was correct, and correctly transferred.
Fortunately, the process of undoing the transformation isn't as bad as doing it.
Just reminding the viewer Peach was canonically doing that hacking in the nude, as necessary. Would it really have mattered if we just skipped over that bit?
TEC is quite explicit about Peach's safety, and will not allow her to knowingly drink a potion that will not do what Peach requires it to do. This helps cement his portrayal during the crafting as someone who really does have Peach's safety at heart: They don't know if the potion is correct when they order her to drink it, but they have to try and TEC trusts Peach to have followed their instructions correctly.
Green potion it is.
Yeah, sure, TEC. I'll take you at your word on that.
And, of course, they lock up the potions just to be sure. Not that Peach would be inclined to drink any.
Jump cut back to TEC. It's always jump cuts when Peach does it, but Mario has to hike...
Pertinent question, and definitely something Peach ought to know, considering the lengths she took to claim it. TEC must really want to read this data.
Grodus really went the extra mile to make sure no one but him read this, huh?
TEC does have a good idea of what is on this data disk, though: It's the reason they asked for it in the first place, and the first few passes of decryption have pointed that their hunch is correct.
TEC decides that they are not going to tell Peach any preliminary information. This promise to tell Peach the full truth is genuine, and their reluctance to provide their guesses and conjecture is well-founded based on the data they have found, but it doesn't really help with the emotional connection they need to be forging with Peach.
As far as Peach is concerned, the job is done, so she may now use the communicator.
Peach is sorta telling TEC that she expects to hear the message once they've decoded it, even if they do trust TEC for staying quiet now.
TEC is a complicated computer, presumably he can decrypt and send mail at the same time.
It's a little bit, but Peach really has warmed up to the computer. This is the most friendly Peach has been to them in the parting words, even before getting angry with them after the disguise mission.
And TEC returns the favour, deciding to pipe up with his farewell before Peach leaves the room.
Peach is happy to help.
...
And this line should give the player a pretty good idea of what TEC found in that data. Peach's faith in TEC is on shaky ground, but the player has room to have a more well-rounded perspective on them. We can look at their efforts, without the stress of being kidnapped and the hurt of being used, and see the genuine effort to improve behind them. And we can also catch the hints that whatever Grodus wants Peach for, Peach is not going to like it.
Returning to lighter stories in tone, if perhaps not in setting, we have Bowser wandering into Twilight Town for some new hijinks.
This will just be an opportunity to walk around talking to NPCs and being Bowser. The novelty wore off a bit.
Mostly, they're just panicking in their own ways.
Kammy can also be talked to. She continues to provide little explanation for why Bowser keeps her around.
Nah. Bowser's skill is more in stones, bricks, and horsehair plants.
Even the ravens manage to express fear, somehow.
Other Twilighters are... a little more calm.
Still terrified, by they can keep a lid on it.
...This one had trouble breathing. You don't scream very often, do you?
The loading zone out of the room has been unceremoniously removed. The map looks really weird without it.
Also, it turns out you can knock on the houses' doors:
Nobody's home! Really! Everyone left for the day! Pleasepleasepleaseplease...
The mayor is OUT! He's most certainly not scared out of his mind! He's just... out!
Umm... Today's a holiday... Really! It is! Honest! It's National Not-Get-Eaten-by-Monsters Day!
Now celebrating National Not-Get-Eaten-by-Monsters Day, July 22.
Anyway, what's in the bushes?
...Huh. There is something in the grass. The "Twilight Blade" feels like it's intended as a reference to something, although there's a whole glut of candidates and it's more than I really care to do to sort out which ones existed in 2004.
Kinda feels like I'll be played for a fool by Bowser if I do.
In his plan to accomplish something grand enough that Grodus will no longer want to kill him (spoilers, you weren't surviving a minute longer than necessary for Grodus to win), Crump has come back here to Twilight Town to find Beldam's abandoned Superbombomb. The most credit one could give her, as a person, involves assuming all of her failures she blames on Vivian are carefully planned, but the dismissiveness shown here implies no, she genuinely doesn't remember where she dropped it. She really is that horrible of a sentient being.
Crump is really starting to worry about how much he can afford to lose.
And then he immediately finds it. I don't think the player can find it, even for a joke.
And this time, you won't lose it for a comedy routine about how much you're abusing your little sister.
..."Luck of the moon", you say? Well, I suppose it's Twilight Town.
Kammy's eyes light up on the weirdo with a bomb, and decides to start attempting to interrogate him.
Crump is only moderately perturbed.
Crump decides that he'll need every asset he can get, and demands Bowser turn himself to the X-Naut cause. Rest assured, Crump, you have already learned everything Bowser knows about the Crystal Stars.
Bowser is bigger and badder, and he would sooner die than stand in league with the X-Nauts.
And apparently, Crump is actually intimidated by Bowser's muscles. He... really isn't worth much without minions or robots.
He gets over it, realising he does actually have one of them.
He went with the minions this time. Somehow, there are X-Nauts that respect him enough to stand behind him.
All Bowser needs to do is breathe fire and you'll all march into the slow embrace of falling over.
Also, you know, we have a lot of dudes too. The Twilighters have all gotten the hell out of dodge, for obvious reasons.
Not only do we have their army matched, but our soldiers are all superior to theirs turtle for whatever.
Neither side is backing down, and victory is obvious for one side.
Crump remembers he has a secret weapon he can call on.
So much for using it on Mario. Grodus won't be happy to hear you've wasted it on freaking Bowser.
Bowser freaks out.
As it hits him in the nose with a comical donk and falls to the ground.
At which point Bowser starts pointing and laughing at just how incompetent Crump is. It's amazing, for a comic relief character, how Bowser is still more terrifying than Crump.
Bowser decides he's going to take pity on Crump, and detonates his Superbombomb for him. As a demonstration.
It takes a few seconds for the stupidity of this plan to sink in. Crump figures it out first, but is too slow to order a retreat.
Don't worry. Nobody died. Twilight Town is completely unscratched and everything! This has to be written externally to the rest of the game, but this intermission does have mechanical impacts nonetheless... either way, Bowser continues to be a gigantic loser whose ambitions of being plot-relevant fall far short of his braincells. At least this was an actually funny joke for him.
Now returning to comic relief characters who actually deserve being the subject of mockery.
So how are we getting off this island? Cortez was so impressed by us beating him and Crump that he decides you know what, we can use the Black Skull to travel to and from Keelhaul Key whenever we need to. It's certainly a solution. Personally, I kinda wish Cortez only gave us the one trip- we'll eventually be able to return to Keelhaul Key through blue Pipe, bypassing Cortez entirely, and having Cortez set up the Black Skull as a permanent option for us feels like a waste after that.
Mario, of course, uses the first trip to get Flavio, his crew, and all the shipwrecked Toads to safety.
And everyone is over the moon about it.
...Is it me, or are there characters not on board other than us?
Pa-Patch, the newlyweds and a few Toads have come to appreciate this place, and are staying behind. This includes Thriff T. and the innkeeper, so the facilities will still work in perpetuity.
Frankie and Francesca are both the reason I wish we only got one trip on the Black Skull and the reason Cortez becomes a permanent service. I'll get more into it next update, but for now, I'll leave it at giving the decision for these characters to stay here in Keelhaul more narrative weight.
Cortez: "But... I'm not leaving the place, mate. We're still, you know... here. We're just sailing around more."
You can tell that statement exists to be challenged.
Sayonara, Keelhaul Key. If we ever return, it shall be too soon.
...I think they forgot the heart character. Logically, circle-heart should come next, following the pattern that has been established.
Thankfully, this is the last time we get a journal entry and accompanying date. This expedition apparently took 10 days, if this blasted calendar system is to be trusted.
The satisfaction of a job well done, and, for a brief time, he was tolerated.
How delightfully pompous of you, Flavio.
I'd comment on the ghost pirate ship we rode in on, but in this town, that might actually be something that carries weight with it.
...Don't push it.
Nobody cares, Flavio.
But at the same time, nobody cares enough to contradict him. He can live in his delusions.
They're happy to not have to listen to you. As will I be.
They all actually walk all the way to the loading zone, and can be watched leaving the room.
We must put a stop to the end of the world. It's a very important duty, and one I would trust to no other who won't take too long to get here.
Three years later, Mario would take that advice literally. Beat that, Flavio.
No wind up there. My ass is covered.
Cortez decides now might be a good time to interrupt Flavio for his spiel.
How? I think you'll be happier not knowing. Ghost magic.
Big leap from being a hair's breadth from running away terrified of him first time you met. Don't go restarting any feuds with the guy in the meantime.
...One of these days, we will pop his bubble. I do not think he will be able to handle that, though.
He takes up residence in the tavern again, I believe.
Well, ignoring him completely.
(Except to watch him use the loading zone too.)
"That's your ring?" Either that was actual slang or some writer's vague hope would pass as slang. Not a horrible phrase to use as slang, but not really a situation I'd find myself in often. They know what their ringtone sounds like.
"Dearest Mario". This isn't the first time she's used it, but I'm not entirely sure you can say there's nothing to go on between them if she's already calling him that.
This, however, is the first time Peach has mentioned this. Peach's trust in TEC has been so shaky until now that she didn't think Mario needed to know about them. Now, though?
TEC's a friend. What can we do about that? That's a question for when we get into the X-Naut Base, but they deserve getting their data backed up and taken home. Even if there's nothing in the Mushroom Kingdom to plug into.
That's what Peach thinks is in there. Something so secret that Grodus can't even let the facility in on it? Yes, we want to know what's in there, but I don't think that's going to properly capture the scope of what's on that disk.
"Be good, OK" is not a sentence I ever thought Peach would say to Mario. To Paper Mario, it may be appropriate, but it is still out of left field.
Koops: Whoa! She's good! They oughta call her Super Peach! We should get to work, too!
Flurrie: Mercy me! Your princess is quite the go-getter, hmm? Let's get to work, as well!
Dr. Agon: Rock ON! That princess is pretty rad, huh? Wow! We oughta get to work, too!
Vivian: Oh, my! That princess of yours is so courageous! We'd better get to work, too!
Bobbery: Great Goobery! Your princess is no one to be trifled with! We'd best get to work, too!
Ms. Mowz: My, my, my! The princess is quite capable, isn't she? We've work to do, too!
...As much as I'm happy to hear praise for Peach's competence in Paper Mario (she goes, girl), and she has definitely earned her own share of agency in a story that doesn't let her get any, I'm not sure the content of that email reflected Peach's work. It's all about how TEC is trustworthy and their efforts to decode the data- admittedly, that kinda describes Peach's story in general in this game. The fact Peach obtained the data by brewing an invisibility potion and snatching it from Grodus's personal office gets brushed under the rug in the email she sends.
Came back alive after having befriended the pirate tormenting it. As I said, I think showing up with Cortez's flag has won us more friends than you'd think.
All the Toads are "back", but aside from a small handful- actually, I can only think of one- they go into the abyss of "NPCs that are filling this town to make it a town, but we can't interact with."
You know that sailor who's constantly freaking out? That's his brother, there. Talking to guys like this, it seems like sailors always want to get back to sea... But they're pros, right? Do they really need to worry about each other so much?
This guy is the main one. He's going to stick around as a good big brother, but no, I am not skipping a line of dialogue.
I think he's still just as nervous as ever. Although yes, him hiding behind the crates is humourous in that context.
...Is the Black Skull better than the SS Flavion in any way other than being a ghost ship? You'd think being rotten wouldn't sell it as being seaworthy.
They're just glad to be home. And don't have to listen to Flavio anymore.
Luigi is waiting for us at the docks, of course.
He says, to the man that elevated an entire medium into art.
As soon as we hit Jazzafrazz Town, we were overcome by the glitz and the glamour. It's a very lively place, Bro. Tons of Dayzees live there, and they're always smiling!
While looking for the piece of compass, I met a hip Dayzee named Hayzee. Hayzee was a producer, and he was looking for actors to go on stage with him. I told him we couldn't, since we were looking for the compass part, you know. But Hayzee said we could WIN the compass part in the upcoming Drama Slam! He said the so-called Dramalama Plaque might, in fact, be one of the parts!
Well, we just had to give it a try, so we rehearsed with the cast and hit the stage! Our musical was called "The Mystery of the Fiery Hat of Social Awareness." The script was great, but I got really hosed, Bro... My "role"... My "part"... Was grass! I played grass by the side of the road! Grass, Bro! Grass! I just sprawled out on the ground and had to be silent. Everyone but me had lines... I don't care if I was wearing green! Who casts someone based on that? It was awful!
In the end, our musical was the talk of the town, and we won the Drama Slam. I got the compass part I was after, but even that didn't make me very happy. The huge after-party just bummed me out more, so I snuck out the back door.
But WOW! Outside were tons of fans! MY fans! Fans of grass! They swarmed me! I just couldn't believe it! Imagine! Cheering for grass! I was ecstatic, Bro!
After that I added the piece to the Marvelous Compass, which pointed north. It pointed to the Rapturous Ruins in Grimble Forest. Then... The voice again... Oh, my cherished Princess Eclair! How you soothe me! I would be grass for you... I will find you! I will reach you! I will stand by your side and be your Luigi!
Wow. Sorry about that, Bro. Umm... So, yeah, anyway... Then I got back on my boat. I came back to Rogueport, and here I am, another leg of my adventure completed!
Aww, it's his equivalent to Glitzville! Although I'm amazed Luigi mentioned the part where he played grass. I guess he did get his fans after all, can't deny it too hard.
...You get a Crazee Dayzee partner? Does she still send enemies to sleep with her singing? Can I borrow her?
...It seems Luigi also got the "controlling manager" part of the job, too. My brother is not for sale or rent.
That's Luigi's Dayzee friend, Hayzee. Apparently, Hayzee is an actor/director. You know Luigi's acting debut, right? The grass thing? I could never play grass... I'd wanna play a princess! And a prince would wake me with a kiss... So romantic!
...Why does this side of you only come out when we talk to Luigi? I don't know why your Tattles would be written separately from all the others, but at the same time...
Anyway, let's use Boat Mode on the first pier we find.
You can actually spot this secret room in wide shots of the port. What exactly it's here for, though, that I couldn't tell you. Probably criminal hideouts.
Star Piece back here.
And an HP Drain (1 BP) Badge in here. The BP cost is much lower, but in exchange, it's a flat "1 HP for one attack" rate- 64 allowed you to heal as much HP as individual hits you connected. Not really worth it this time.
Time for another exciting issue of RDM! Yay?
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RDM Issue 4
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ROGUEPORT TODAY
Dusk, Today
Goomez (age 40), known for napping in the flowers in the west side park, was found eating flowers and given a stern warning by authorities. Asked for comment, Goomez stated, "Well, I just really, really love flowers, and I was hanging out, and before I knew it, they were in my mouth... I'm so ashamed." Citizens of Rogueport responded with disbelief and grudging support for the strengthening of flower-conservation efforts.
SHOP REPORTER GO!
This time, we introduce the Twilight Shop!
Watching the husband and wife proprietors of this shop at work is a heartwarming sight, but don't get on the hubby's bad side! "Don't you go smiling at MY wife!" says the jovially jealous shopkeeper. "I'm hers for life, and your fancy big-city teeth aren't gonna change that!" Well, who could doubt their eternal love? Surely not this reporter. We pressed the shopkeeper for further comment, but regret that his words are unprintable here.
...But we did learn from the little missus that there will be a double-point sale for all RDM readers! Just show her this screen in the next 15 minutes to double your points on any purchase!
COOKING FOR ROOKIES
All right, my little rookies, we're on to an intermediate-level recipe today! The dish is a Healthy Salad... Just slice up a Turtley Leaf and a Horsetail, mix them together, and you're done! Great for dieters!
EDITOR'S NOTE
That's all for today! But check your mailbox soon for another exciting issue!
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Published by Rogueport
Restoration Committee
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Rogueport Today: I am less judgemental about his habits as I am how he manages to put food in his mouth without his awareness. You don't know where those flowers have been. Well, OK, you do, but you get my point.
Shop Reporter: That was not my impression of the husband in our brief interactions (he's certainly angry at Dupree, but Dupree deserved it, and is not merely acknowledging his wife's existence). But in contrast to the last double Shop Point mentioned in RDM, this isn't a horrible time to go capitalise.
Cooking for Rookies: Finally RDM is putting in two-item recipes, and the first one is one of those surprisingly useful ones, too! Healthy Salad's high healing capacity, poison recovery and use in Zess T.'s specialty dishes means that it's good to know how to make it
...Oh wow, this poor hint NPC, too slow to notice what hints are relevant. He does have good and timely advice sometimes but his record is actually pretty 50-50. One of his tips, around Chapter 4/5-ish, is to tell you there's a world-famous archaeologist here.
Flavio is hanging out in here, as he always was.
...Yeah. Yeah, that was not a profitable exhibition. Sorry? I wonder if the richer guy is gloating over this. It may also just be Don Pianta.
That might be the last time we get him to pitch in to contribute to our cause financially.
Keeping up with the Lovely Howz, this time we have:
- Super Appeal P (1 BP) (50 coins): In case you missed the one in Flurrie's house, I guess? Mario's Super Appeal was in here the whole time.
- Damage Dodge P (2 BP) (150 coins): To match the Damage Dodge Mario got last chapter. We got a free one back in Chapter 2, don't worry about the one we didn't get from Pirate's Grotto in INT.
- Fire Drive (3 BP) (100 coins): A stronger Fire Drive could be useful, but that 5 FP cost was bad enough with just one, you didn't need to increase it.
Also in town, the idler just keeps getting richer. Presumably, this thing he sold is less "the property rights to the island" and more "a piece of paper claiming such"- if the island is deserted, and the Koopa isn't paying attention to it, his piece of paper isn't much of a defence against other people developing it.
Since it was on the way to how I planned to get to the Door anyway, I took a visit to Twilight Town, and yup, we've got the double-point sale ready. Not sure what I'll be getting in freebies, but it's a reason to drop in.
...Worth it, question mark? The next shop point prize is at 50, and I probably won't be hitting that, so in summary:
- 10 Shop Points: Mushroom
- 20 Shop Points: Ice Storm
- 30 Shop Points: Super Shroom
- 50 Shop Points: Thunder Rage
- 70 Shop Points: Shooting Star
- 100 Shop Points: Gold Bar
- 150 Shop Points: Life Shroom
- 200 Shop Points: Ultra Shroom
- 250 Shop Points: Jammin' Jelly
- 300 Shop Points: Gold Bar ×3
The freebie Gold Bars and Ultra Shroom/Jelly is nice, but grinding for them, not so much. You can do things like buy Dried Shrooms in Westside and sell them here in Twilight, or buy Sleepy Sheeps in Toad Bros. and sell them in Petalburg, but that's still a long walk for relatively little reward. The points reset if you go past 300, and the prizes refresh, at least.
At long last, the east and west sides of the Rogueport sewers connect! Bobbery can blow up this pillar and allow you to reach either side of the sewers no matter where you start from. It was a long time coming, but glad it's here at last.
Wonky stuff:
Striking first:
Don't you love it when you strike first on the field and get that first attack in? If you use a Spin Jump or Bobbery's Bomb attack to strike first... Then your first attack will have more power than just a jump or hammer move, see? It's not a big thing, but it's worth remembering!
This is a very powerful and useful tip from 64 that returns here... except, since Bobbery only joins in Chapter 5, they can't give it to you for a long way in. Bombette's earlier join time means Russ T. can mention this sooner.
The pirate king, Cortez:
About a thousand years ago, there was a pirate king called Cortez on these seas. He raided this city often, striking fear into the hearts of its inhabitants... But Cortez was betrayed by one of his crew... Just before he died, he's said to have sailed off with all of his treasure. Then, even after he died, some say his spirit still protects that treasure... But, you know... That's all just hazy legend now.
...Is Flavio's ancestor the guy who betrayed Cortez? That makes sense, then, how he knew to claim the Skull Gem and ignore the Crystal Star. But man, that just makes Flavio's arrogance sting Cortez all the harder.
The southern isle Whacka:
There's a rare creature called a Whacka on the southern isle. Yeah, and if you whack him, he drops this great little thing called a Whacka Bump. The thing is, people have been whacking the Whackas to get Whacka Bumps... And now, only one remains that hasn't been whacked to extinction. Isn't that sad?
Well, one until we find a new one in the next Paper Mario. ...And there's multiples in Snowflake Lake.
Zess Dynamite:
You know Zess T., right? She's the really good cook on Rogueport's main square. Well, she has a rare recipe in her repertoire called Zess Dynamite... It's made with a Coconut Bomb and an Egg Bomb. And by the way, an Egg Bomb is made from a Fire Flower and a Mystic Egg... And a Coconut Bomb is made from a Fire Flower and a Coconut. ...And that's all I know, because Zess lost the rest of the recipe somewhere... It was written down and she lost it! What a tragedy! It sure would be cool if she could make it, though...
Wonky tells you about a few of Zess T.'s toughest recipes, including this powerful attacking item. Wonky implies the recipe is incomplete, but this is, in fact, everything we need to know to prepare the Zess Dynamite. Rest assured I will be throwing this, but I forgot to prepare it for the fight I had in mind.
Couple's Cake:
You know Zess T., in the square, I'm sure. The girl with the mean cooking talent. Well, she's got a secret recipe called the Couple's Cake. Cute name, huh? To make it, she needs a Snow Bunny and Spicy Soup... If you bring her both, she'll make it, at least that's what ol' Wonky hears. By the way, a Snow Bunny is made from a Golden Leaf and an Ice Storm... And Spicy Soup is made from a Fire Flower and a Dried Bouquet. Even so, I hear that this recipe really reminds her of her late husband... So she doesn't make it for just anybody. I wonder how she feels about you?
This seems like a weird recipe to give so much focus, but I guess as part of the world-building, it makes sense for Zess T. to have feelings about it, positive or negative. And I guess negative it is- although she did cook one for us without comment.
Also, that's a weird recipe for Spicy Soup, considering you can get the same results without throwing in the Dried Bouquet.
Chet Rippo:
There's a weird guy named Chet Rippo who lives down here somewhere. I hear he'll lower one stat and raise another for you if you want. And he can even power down one of your partners to power up another... He may be spendy, but I'm sure it's worth it...
Chet Rippo was available early in 64, but we haven't had access to him yet in this game. He is still here, though, and now's the time where we can meet with him.
While I'm here, it's time to pick up some more Badges from Dazzle. The extra drop Badges seem like a good deal, especially for what I have in mind before we head to Chapter 6.
Heading deeper into the sewers to turn in the Crystal Star, we can see that Bowser's trip to Twilight Town has brought the Koopa Troop with him: All the Goombas, Spinias and such forth have, with a handful of exceptions, been upgraded to Bowser's elite members of the Koopa Troop.
Oh, that's nice! We start with the two brand new enemies!
That's a Magikoopa. Y'know, a Koopa wizard. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. It'll throw a load of pain our way while using magic to help its buddies. What a creep. And when there's only one of them, it splits up into multiple copies to mess with us. Stop this thing fast or we'll be in a world of hurt!
Magikoopa works similarly to the coloured Magikoopas we saw in the Glitz Pit. Its attack pierces Defence, it can heal any target for 8 HP, and it presumably has all the same buffs and status effects Red, Green and White have- it is not enumerated on my list. Atk, Def, Electrify, Invisible, that's what you'd expect to see.
That's a Koopatrol. A Koopa Troopa who protects himself with spiked armor. Max HP is 6, Attack is 4, and Defense is 2. It attacks with its shell and with its head, then sometimes charges up for a fierce move. Plus, if you take too long to win, it'll call reinforcements. Yeah, sorta gnarly, huh? It's one of the worst of Bowser's guys. Koopa Troopas dream of being Koopatrols. …Hey, and by the way, what do you think Bowser's doing now, anyway? Eating?
Koopatrol has a bunch of cool tricks. It can all another one, charge up +2 Atk, charge you for 4 damage, Power Shell for 4 damage on both, and can hide in their shell to avoid damage for a time. As long as you have some way to flip them, though, they're pretty easy this time around.
I'm sure Bowser's not doing anything we have to concern ourselves with.
That's the Power Shell. It stings, but we can deal with it.
Spike Shield really makes short work of these guys, especially with my exact power level.
Since the Koopatrol's basic attack is a headbutt, it actually gets affected by Zap Tap.
We can also find Hammer Bro. in the sewers, of course, but we already saw them in the Glitz Pit. No Boomerang or Fire Bros., though, just the ones we saw in Bowser's Castle in the original.
Still giving decent EXP.
The one time this spring is relevant!
So where, oh where do we go next, magical map?
Looks like we'll need to take a train to this place.
Just not even bothering to come up with a reason. We always go there!
Bobbery: Right! Let's pop in on that professor fellow.
It's our first time going to Frankly with Bobbery, so here's his justification.
We've actually heard mention of Poshley Heights before- in a Wonky dialogue a while ago. Now is the time we're going to be travelling in that direction!
Koops: Wait... Don't a lot of really rich and famous people live in Poshley Heights?
Flurrie: Just a moment! Isn't that area known for its rich and famous denizens?
Dr. Agon: Oh, man! Aren't there oodles of rich and famous people living in that place?
Vivian: Hang on... Haven't I heard that lots of rich and famous people call that place home?
Bobbery: Wait a tick! I've heard tell that only the rich and famous call that place home...
Ms. Mowz: Hey... Isn't that place simply BURSTING with the rich and famous? Excellent.
Poshley Heights is the housing of the rich and famous, while Glitzville is their vacation destination. Despite the similarities, we are going to see some differences in how the chapter portrays the rich, as well as how the story plays out.
I think this is a religious facility of some description in the Japanese version, with the proprietor of the place being a priest. This is relevant only for one thing we'll bump into later.
Poshley is nice, clean, and free from monsters. Not that we're getting out of combat encounters that easily, but it is definitely a break in the action.
Koops: Sounds great! And to get to this place, we should...
Flurrie: Sounds absolutely fabulous! How do we get to this wonderful town?
Dr. Agon: Get to the point, Prof! How do we get to this Snobville, anyway?
Vivian: Poshley Heights, huh? OK. How do we get there?
Bobbery: Harumph! Sounds positively scintillating, dear boy. Point us there!
Ms. Mowz: Well? Don't tease us, Professor. How do we get there from here?
Preparing for the catch in 3, 2...
Nope, it just gets even better.
...So how have the X-Nauts not found this one yet?
This might be a problem, though. Except... Mario is famous! He can also probably ask Toadsworth for a loan from Peach, I'm sure she won't mind.
Or, you know, the mobster who told us never to show our face again (at least, if you didn't try checking his room for no reason after the fact). Frankly, did you think this through any further than giving us a vacation?
Koops: Oh, man! You gotta be joking with me! That guy's scary! ...Great. Well, it's not like we have much choice here. Let's go, Mario... Ugh...
Flurrie: Good gracious, no! I'm afraid I really must protest this! That man is TOO dangerous! ...Well, I suppose one must do what one must do, correct? Let's get this over with.
Dr. Agon: Are you crazy?!? I heard stories about that guy, and he sounds like a loon! Man... Well, whatever, I guess. If we gotta, we gotta, right? Let's do this, Gonzales.
Vivian: Are you kidding? Everyone says he's an awful man! Doesn't he extort people? ...Well, I guess we don't have much choice, now do we? Let's do this quickly.
Bobbery: Ah... no. Terribly sorry. Mm-mm. Impossible. Can't do it. The man's reprehensible! ...Well, drat. I suppose there's nothing for it, eh, old boy? If we must, we must. Let's go.
Ms. Mowz: Oh, I do NOT think that's a good idea! Do you know him? He is NOT one to mess with! ...Ah, well. If we have to, then I'm in, but it could get ugly. Come on, Mario. Let's go.
The partners who were with us the first time around are half-traumatised, while the ones who came after mostly run on hearsay. Ms. Mowz seems to sit on both sides, which makes me wonder if she's acquainted with his circles.
At least he's better than Beldam.
Goombella is terrified to get near him and that's what we're going to say about her just rolling over and agreeing to try this highly long-shot plan from someone we've already asked a favour from, and is able and willing to put people who annoy him in cement shoes?
At any rate, Frankly's trash can may be found to contain Tattles for Cortez and Lord Crump.
Yeah, let's put that off for a bit. Merlon is standing outside his house again, and he has something to point us towards.
I presume this intended in the "momentous significance" definition, but I choose to interpret it as "done in a pompously or overly solemn manner so as to impress." Merlon, there were less obscure words to choose from.
...Something else in Hooktail's Castle? Many players actively choose to wait until now to get Ms. Mowz so as to not have to backtrack there twice (three times counting the Star Panel). Compared to some of the other shenanigans I have to deal with, this didn't feel too bad.
No one who ever gets a prophecy can ever tell what it means, even if the instructions are written as directly as possible to help the children who haven't developed the complicated logical reasoning to figure out a more esoteric clue. It gets ridiculous sometimes.
I don't think you have to talk to Merlon first to get it to spawn, but...
Grifty has added a few stories to his collection, and I think it's about time we got a reveal.
10. The Demon's Curse
The four heroes thought they had sealed away the demon and all of its powers… But the demon used a tiny opening before the seal was complete to curse them all. While holding the Crystal Stars, they'd feel nothing, but when they let them go… A black box would appear to seal their souls within. The four heroes traveled the world, scattering the stars so the seal would remain. But the last four stars each carried the curse, which claimed each hero…
Yup. The Black Chest Demons are the Four Heroes. It's not entirely clear why they felt the need to "curse" us with helpful abilities, but their desire for us to get new traversal abilities matches their desire to see the Shadow Queen put down for real this time. That is, if they're sure that's what we're here for, and not just some random adventurer who has no idea what they're in for.
11. The Great Tree and Punies
The hiding places of many of the Crystal Stars have now faded into legend. But some say that the wise Goomba hid one in the Great Tree. At that time, many monsters wandered in the nearby Boggly Woods. The tiny Punies were always tormented by their fierce appetites, it was said. Pitying them, the Goomba hollowed out the Great Tree for the Punies to live in. The Punies were so grateful that they swore to protect the Crystal Star there…
The original Punies, of course. Eventually, this cause was lost to time, and even the wise Goombella was forgotten by what remains. Considering Jabbies and Piders followed the Punies into the Tree, it doesn't seem to have been much of a long-term solution to the problem. Goombella would eventually become the Plane Chest Demon, found just outside the warp pipe to Boggly Woods.
13. The Pirate King Cortez
The Koopa hero went to a southern isle to hide his star where none would find it. But the Koopa was so tired from his journey that the pirate Cortez stole it easily. In that very instant, the Koopa was trapped in an inescapable chest. But Cortez did not realize the power of the star and lost it among his treasures…
The Mario Koopa had the right idea, and surprisingly, I think having it stolen by Cortez was probably the best thing that could've happened, if he was doomed anyway. Especially since Cortez didn't actually know what he took, and he quickly began jealously guarding it with no idea of its true value.
Super Luigi 2: The Lost Levels or Super Luigi 2: USA? This is a deal breaker.
Super Luigi Volume 2
- Allies in Adventure -
"It's a little warm," Luigi muttered, the sweat dripping from his brow as he followed the compass up Rumblebump Volcano's side.
"Must... find... the secret... grotto." While Luigi had guts to spare, he did need a guide, and he found one in Blooey, a Blooper he met in town.
Brave Blooey joined Luigi and instantly proved to be invaluable. With his aid, Luigi bested a savage statue that protected the treasure.
That treasure was none other than a piece of the Marvelous Compass, a piece that pointed west to Plumpbelly Village.
The second Luigi saw Plumpbelly Village, he knew something was amiss. All was woe, and Luigi soon learned the reason why from the mayor.
The town was at the mercy of a sinister serpent, who demanded sacrificial lasses. Burning with indignation, Luigi formed a team of liberators.
A fierce Bob-omb warrior named Jerry joined his crew and chose, not surprisingly, to stick with Luigi for the duration of his quest for Eclair.
Fortified by his allies, Luigi strode on into the lair of the beast, a foul, two-headed snake. No time to think! Luigi sprang forth!
Twin heads snapped at his heels, fangs dripping venom! Then, as one mouth gaped wide to swallow Luigi, the other crept behind...
Our hero sensed the treachery, and feinted before leaping! The heads collided, and the beast ate itself! The prize? A compass piece!
The villagers begged their savior to stay with them, but a grim-faced Luigi pressed bravely onward.
To Be Continued
Just skimming over the parts of the story that were in question for either telling. Luigi throwing Blooey like the White Torpedo or dressing as a bride to attract Hizza's attention have no appearance here, glowing or scathing. Definitely makes him seem more heroic, but also more cookie-cutter. I guess it sells?
Also remember to grab this over in West Rogueport.
Sadly, no. Actually, wait, hold on, I've got plenty of Shine Sprites! They any good here?
...Did no one tell him about the no money? Guess not, but really, there's no money there.
Back in East Rogueport, over near the Robbo base, is a Boat Panel over this way.
It's Double Dip (3 BP)! Situational in 64, nerfed hard in this game. +2 BP cost and +1 FP cost (3 -> 4) makes it really hard to figure out why you'd ever want to use it. Unless you're using a Point Swap on your FP for Peril strats- shoutouts to the TTYD TAS.
Anyway, yet another crack in the wall to peek behind, let's see what's in this house.
That's Chet Rippo, the adjuster. He can adjust your stats or your partners' ranks. Me, I wouldn't trust this guy with anything more complex than plucking back hair... I know I always say you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but still...
Ah yes, Chet Rippo, who has been redesigned from "weirdo" to "some kind of reject Merlo family". As far as abilities go, his doesn't even seem like it doesn't belong.
Although I can imagine how this sounds like talking to a doctor in a back alley.
39 coins, just as it is in 64.
In 64, you increased one stat by two level ups and decreased the other two by one. In this game, you instead choose one stat to level up and another to level down. As one might expect to see done- it's far less of a ripoff this way.
Being able to shift around Partner ranks is a welcome change from 64, although at this stage of the game, it's not a particularly valuable one. Maybe if you really have an idea you want to try out, but Chapter 6 doesn't warrant it.
This Spiky Goomba is still here. For whatever reasons.
As a reminder, this is the reversible stair. Why mention it? I guess because it fit the rhyme and meter of the poem being sung. Not that it tried to have meter for very long.
We want to go all the way back here. Thankfully, the spike trap will not be coming alive at any point in our trip.
This is a hidden room in Hooktail Castle. Who knew there was a room in here? Well... I guess secret rooms are supposed to be secret...
Hit the block, and a chest is revealed behind a fake room. Try not to think about how this works- I'm not even sure how the paper explanation works.
...And all that for a completely useless doo-hickey.
Yo, Merlon, your prophecy seemed a little weird.
Merlon contemplates it, long enough for Mario to start looking at him funny.
That blink frame feels appropriate.
Fortunately, Merlon does (eventually) have an answer for us.
If we got a hint pointing us up, then up we shall go!
Appropriate reaction.
Merlon went to go pick up a more familiar red stone.
The surprise is not finding a new item, but reminding the guy he has an old one. I am kinda feeling like my time has been wasted, just a bit.
...I wonder if you can knock it down with three Spin Jumps. Wouldn't that be a reward for remembering the originals.
We never acquire the Ultra Stone, but the Ultra Stone remains the only way to upgrade Super Rank partners to Ultra Rank. They just kept it exclusively in the lore this time around. This is exclusively for the joke about him having it for years, there's no reason there couldn't have been a real Ultra Stone in Hooktail's Castle.
Will "right now" do?
Yup. We are cooking. That is five upgrades we can make in one go.
Let's start with Admiral Bobbery, because our favourite old-timer absolutely deserves it. At Super Rank, Bobbery gets 30 HP at max and his Bomb attack does 5 damage a hit, although Bomb Squad sees no improvements of any kind. His new move is Hold Fast, which will apply the Spite Pouch effect to Bobbery for a number of turns based on your success hitting the Action Commands, at a cost of 4 FP. As much as I praise Bobbery for diversifying his kit over Bombette's, I think he may have overvalued the Spite Pouch effect.
But still, an old man becoming even bulkier and bombier is all right with me. Besides, that high HP means Spite Pouch isn't horrible.
Now then, before I show my Ultra Ranks, let us discuss who they are:
- Goombella gets 30 HP, her Headbonk does 3+3 damage, and her Multibonk does 3-2-1-1 damage. Her new move is Rally Wink, which for 4 FP, gives Mario her turn. This is an excellent move for BP consolidation- if Mario is the only one attacking, then Mario is the only one who needs Badges. I find it just fine to have Goombella Headbonk fools herself, though.
I might even prefer it. - Koops gets 25 HP, Shell Toss and Power Shell are upgraded to 5 damage. His new move is Shell Slam, which for 6 FP, will do a 6 damage Power Shell that negates enemy defences. Slightly more costly than Gulp, but a direct improvement and one which will pay dividends later. Much later, though.
- Flurrie gets 35 HP, Body Slam and Lip Lock are upgraded to 6 damage. Her new move is Dodgy Fog, which for 4 FP, applies the Dodgy status to Mario for a few turns. Dodgy is a bit too luck-based for my liking.
- Dr. Agon gets 30 HP, Ground Pound lands 6 hits, Gulp does 6 damage to both targets, and Mini-Egg gets a fourth Egg. His new move is Stampede, which for 6 FP, summons a horde of Yoshis to swarm the stage and deal six points of damage to all grounded enemies. This is all in 1 point increments, and it only now occurs to me this is an outright inferior Shell Slam, isn't it? I cannot think of a legitimate use case for Stampede over Shell Slam ignoring partner setup factors.
- Vivian gets 30 HP, Shade Fist does 5 damage, and strangely, Fiery Jinx doesn't seem to be upgraded. Her new move is Infatuate, which for 4 FP, attempts to inflict the Confuse status on all enemies. This is a really powerful status, but you're still making a tall ask expecting it to work.
- Bobbery gets 40 HP, Bomb goes up to 6 damage. His new move is Bob-ombast, which for 9 FP, does 8 damage to everything on the screen. More expensive than Mega Bomb, but it's certainly effective (Mega Bomb only went up to 7 damage) and Bobbery's power can be increased further with Badges. 9 FP is a hell of a cost, but when you just don't want to deal with something...
- Ms. Mowz gets 25 HP, Love Slap goes up to 4 damage. Her new move is Smooch, which for 10 FP, heals Mario for 10 HP. I am aghast at the idea you might ever find yourself in a situation in which this is a better alternative than Star Power or inventory items.
Am I the only one noticing every single female party member has a sex appeal move now? I was OK with Flurrie and Ms. Mowz, since it at least matches the character archetype, but Goombella is a college girl and Vivian is an abuse victim.
Of course I upgraded Goombella and Bobbery, did you even have to ask? My third Ultra Rank was Dr. Agon, for a few reasons- one, his Attack power is situationally higher than Goombella's and that could come in handy, and two, it's helpful that the partner I use to move faster is strong in battle so I don't have to switch in and out of him. Stampede had very little impact on this decision, so I don't regret it in hindsight, although it does kinda make the choice feel weirder.
And lastly, to make light of the fact I decided against doing it before Keelhaul, I wound up upgrading Ms. Mowz this time anyway. Doing so means it would've been fine to do so before Chapter 5, but whatever. It's not like it would've been that helpful.
Everyone has now hit Super Rank.
And while I was heading to our next stop, I found something to show off Kiss Thief with.
In contrast to Love Slap, where the Stylish is as you leave, Kiss Thief's Stylish command is as you make your approach. Since the command requires pressing A, so much more high stakes.
Press A after the bar passes OK and before it maxes out, and...
...You mean that didn't count? Dangit. He doesn't last long enough for a second try.
Next time: It's time we picked up something that's a long time coming.
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