Day 3 won't actually have any mysteries. I'm sorry to say this.
Although we are going to have something exciting to start us off.
Really, again?
Oy, Mario, 'ow's yer 'stache? Life on the island feels great! When the sun rises, I wakey-wakey, and when it sets, I tuck in fer snoozer-time! Perfect fer a simple bloke like me, right?
Every now an' then that cretin Flavio spits out some bit o' drivel about treadin' water instead o' seizin' life, but I just tune 'im out.
So, you off on another adventure? I think that suits you best. Give them 'ooligans what for an' save your princess!
From, Pa-Patch
Well, that's certainly the right time of day to reflect on how nice it is to wake up in the morning.
...Flavio is going to Keelhaul Key, is he? I didn't imagine he had much reason to.
Ghost T. comments on Poshley Sanctum, and surprisingly, has a bit of a gameplay hint. Why Ghost T.?
Anyway, for unrelated reasons, my Badge setup. Just... no reason.
...Toodles?
Yeah... just checking, did everyone get back on board after Riverside Station?
...Everyone who was supposed to board, and nothing more?
A little bit to the left...
Once the windshield is fully covered, all the levers and knobs in front him start wildly switching settings. The train is in no danger of being derailed, but I can only assume that is thanks to the skill of the engineer.
As a consequence of not having Beldam talk about the Smorgs, this entire sequence is going to feel like it comes out of nowhere. Granted, I don't know if putting the Shadow Sirens in Riverside would've entirely fixed that, but do give this moment a little credit.
Well, first thing's first, whatever you can to prevent the train from derailing.
We salute you, Toad.
Spoilers, they're all missing. Except Ghost T. He may or may not count.
Every single window is covered in Smorgs. Part of me wonders if the English name was chosen to use the word "smorgasbord" as a pun, but they never wind up using the word at all in the script, and nobody in the story ever alludes to even knowing the name of these things to have the opportunity.
Remember how I said this guy doesn't count as a character? When I said everybody except the engineer and Ghost T. is missing, this guy wasn't missing either.
On being woken up, he realises he is in danger. Maybe.
No, you were protected by a force field of "mechanics-only character." They'd replace you with a robot, if robot cashiers were more of a thing in 2004.
And he goes right to his job of selling you these items. You may use any of the shop facilities you think you need to.
Remember that hole leading to the rear end of the train? Yeah, that's an entry point for the Smorgs. You'd think they'd have gotten in through the main door, too, but that seems to have held just fine.
Good call.
(Hilariously, Flurrie's call to action is to exterminate them. Even Dr. Agon and Bobbery are more restrained- "get 'em" and "have at them", respectively.)
More Hammering to send them all flying.
That's the waitress of the Excess Express. I bet she's a little shocked by all this!
There's some staff caught up in the Smorg in here. Your goal is to rescue both NPCs.
If a character can appear on multiple maps and does the same spiel on each one, the text dump will usually have that spiel stored separately for each map. Strangely, there appears to be no space for the waitress to receive her Shell Earrings here, despite the fact I don't really see a reason she shouldn't (other than the obvious that doing so would be hilarious and out of place.)
That's the conductor of the Excess Express. I bet he didn't expect all this today!
There is, however, a line for if you save the conductor first where he says "please go save the waitress". I usually save the waitress first, and I assume that's because she's the NPC on the right and not because the NPCs you save are saved in a random order. Not sure why you'd walk around the Smorgs and start hammering them from the left.
The passengers seem to have been taken mostly in their sleep, scarily.
Specifying "paying passengers" is a bit of an odd line, since the conductor isn't really shown to care much about that- especially since he is concerned about the waitress.
Don't worry, Super Mario is on the case.
Spring Jump onto this pipe to get out to follow them.
This is the train's roof. Look at that scenery go whipping by! Wowser! ...Look, this is no time for me to be describing stuff! These guys are so ANNOYING! They're flippy and floppy and gross and I HATE them! Let's get rid of them!
Oh, you knew we were going to wind up here eventually, didn't you? This is the only time we can visit this map, so Goombella's Tattle can acknowledge the absurdity of even using Tattle.
You will need to smash a few Smorgs on your way, since they keep pushing you to the rear, but your goal is just to make it as far to the right on top of the train as possible.
When they let out a calling cry, you've made it.
All the Smorgs get off the sides of the train and coalesce in front of Mario.
Before expanding into a target to fight. Those pink Smorgs only appear in the boss design.
It then proceeds to grow tentacles which have the passengers (and Chef Shimi) ensnared.
Shoutout's to Bobbery's reaction to this being "Horrors!"
Fortunately, nobody gets splattered as this train continues to zoom towards Poshley Heights at an alarming speed.
But we are going to have an epic battle on the rooftop of a moving train, because we are Super Mario and not Hercule Poirot.
The boss theme for Smorg is probably the best boss theme in the game that isn't Rawk Hawk's, even if it is almost entirely relying on that one crescendo to carry the otherwise slightly subdued but still tense rest of the loop.
That's a Smorg. Lots of Smorgs gathered to create this huge monster. Max HP is 50, Attack is 5, and Defense is 1. It attacks with weird tentacles. Defeating the tentacles will drop the body's Defense to 0, making it easier to attack. The tentacles will regenerate, but use that time to deal a ton of damage, OK? It may also take other forms with higher Attack powers, I don't really know. Let's just hurry and beat this thing down so we can save those trapped passengers!
Smorg, the coalescence of hundreds of Smorgs. Try not to get confused. Smorg is a somewhat difficult fight to explain, although it is a very intuitive one in practice. Those three tentacles (or to use the in-game name, Smorg Miasma) have 4 HP and 1 Def apiece, and each one will attack one character for 5 damage. Once we defeat them all, the purple core is exposed. This can't attack us at all, and has 0 HP: This is the only thing we can damage to defeat the boss.
Also, Smorg's whole thing of leaking over the stage makes the fog machine effect look really weird.
So you know what can take out three 4 HP targets in a hurry?
Six chapters later and our solution to tentacles is the same as it was on Blooper.
Smorg's core form has one giant Smorg at the front.
Fortunately, it chooses not to attack on its turn. I'm choosing not to Power Lift here, I need to be outputting damage.
And let's start ourselves with a showcase of Spring Jump.
Like I said, Spring Jump's second bounce always does less than the first for me. I have Jumpman and two Power Pluses, though, so 6+5 looks accurate.
Goombella's Headbonk is doing 10 damage a bop. Which is just fine, but we're going to need two turns to finish off from here.
And Smorg has already respawned a Miasma.
After the first Miasma goes down, Smorg's second Miasma, the claw, comes out, and immediately shows off its ability to hit us for... 9 damage? This attack comes out so rapidly that it took me a while to notice I actually managed to score the block! You can just barely see Mario's blocking animation.
Although I guess everyone casually plays with Power Lift and thus numbers for Atk and Def mean nothing.
Yep, that pincer definitely has 1 Def. Could you tell?
Oh, please don't you start.
The damage stacking you get in this game goes wild. I'm doing 1/5th of his entire health in one of my two hits.
Well, at least we saw it happen.
Bring us home, Goombella.
Smorg condenses into a single core, before exploding all over.
The one time where leveling up after a Chapter Boss matters- we're not going to be fully healed by picking up the Crystal Star, since Smorg doesn't have it, and there will in fact be enemies between us and the Star.
...What do you mean I caught my stat on a blink frame? It looks like HP, you can still see the spotlight telling me which stat I'm indicating when selecting.
But we have now hit level 20, and thus our stage gets even more bullshit to throw at us. Yes, the extra 50 seats in the audience are purely positive for the player, but they could do a lot more to make us feel enthused about a bigger stage when even casuals are just dreading what else you can get. Our stage can now start with a pyrotechnic effect, and the main drops introduced are weird bugs that can inflict Confuse, and a fork that can remove all positive buffs. At least they're nerfing Power Lift?
There's another shot of the Smorgs vanishing, this time on the overworld, and showing all the passengers being safely deposited. Even if we must now all walk back around the whole train to get to somewhere where we can't fall down.
Hopefully, let me ride the train again without bringing terrorist threats with me. The Nitro Honey Syrup heist and the Smorgs were done to get to me.
And we also get thanks from the other members of staff. The guests, except for Heff T., are going to alight here.
Everyone: "Hahaha, we can tell Mario and Luigi apart, you colour-blind fool."
And at last, we have reached the illustrious Poshley Heights.
Can you believe me when I tell you I never caught Poshley using the same theme as the Express, just not on speakers?
We actually finish the trip in our room.
If you're not doing the Trouble Centre, make sure you grabbed everything from the Excess Express. Not that you can't go back and grab anything here (or in Riverside) later, but it'll be a long backtrack.
Bobbery: We've made it, old boy! Let's find that Poshley Sanctum that Professor Frankly spoke of, posthaste!
Ms. Mowz: We're finally here, dearie! Let's waste no time, hmmmm? Let's find Poshley Sanctum, as Frankly recommended.
To the Sanctum. Thankfully, Smorg was indeed our Chapter boss, but that doesn't mean we're home free.
Yeah, remember how I said the waitress was on good terms with her ex? Surprisingly so. Especially since I don't think we have video calls yet.
I really prefer Petra, who at least doesn't berate herself every time she makes a slight typo.
Shroom Steak? Heff T.'ll enjoy it.
(He's staying on to head back to Rogueport, incidentally.)
I love him acknowledging that things got really crazy, but please don't judge the service on that.
This is the Poshley Heights Station. The Excess Express to Rogueport is here. This place is sooooo upscale. It's like, the polar opposite of Rogueport. You can tell that movie stars and millionaires live here. It just REEKS of cash.
Right, now we're out and about. The businessman is going to move on from here, so he's just standing there to stand somewhere.
That's the Ratooey businessman who was on the Excess Express. He's still trying to put everything on his expense account. SKETCHY!
Yeah, his bosses are so going to get back at him for that.
Star Panel right outside the station.
Over here is what I assume is the Goldbobbingtons' place. They're going to stay here for the rest of the game.
Right now, the plan for Bub's birthday is a train set. Something I could (and probably would) buy for a real child his age, how about that? Well, perhaps the one I buy isn't solid gold.
Star Piece behind the deck chair.
And Poshley Heights is the height of hilarity: Every water feature in this town still has Nibbles in it. The dedication to Mario not going for a swim.
In the house itself, you can find a back room if you use Paper Mode. Might be a little hard to spot behind the flowerpot.
HP Drain P (1 BP) is a Badge we will never mention again. Does what it says on the tin.
Toodles lives in the other house on this map, and I don't think it is surprising at all to see what her house looks like. She'll also be in Poshley for the rest of the game.
Star Piece in the middle of the hedge.
Despite there being an exit to the hedge, there doesn't seem to be any reason to do so. There's nothing back here.
Next map:
This is Poshley Heights. It's a relaxed town that positively reeks of money. There's a very nice hotel here, too. Wouldn't it be nice to stay there sometime?
That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He's related to Herringway, the novelist. Now that he's used to life here, he seems to be making the most of it, huh?
There are a surprising number of Bumpties here in Poshley Heights, and these ones actually seem to come from Shiver City. Goombella says nearly all of them are related to Herringway, although I would not be surprised if this wasn't actually the case.
The hotel here is very decadent, but surprisingly affordable. Well, it's much more expensive than any other inn, but the price isn't that much higher. You'd expect it ot be 100 coins.
These are the Traveling Sisters 3. They seem to go everywhere together.
They seem so ditzy, though. Do they even notice each new place they wind up in?
They seem to just flit off to each new place without really exploring anywhere.
Sounds nice. Y'know, traveling. I wish I had time to travel with friends from school...
Turns out these girls have three separate Tattles based on which one you click on? Also, man, Goombella is going to feel so different after this... I didn't even think she'd have actual friends to have to talk (or not talk) about this to afterwards, but it's not like she's a friendless sort of character...
This girl is selling Fresh Pasta, a cooking ingredient that heals 10 HP and 5 FP eaten raw, and 6 HP/4 FP if cooked into Spaghetti. There are further recipes you can use the Fresh Pasta in, but it turns out you can cook them all if you cook each one into the next.
Of course I grab one.
Star Piece behind a hedge here...
This Bumpty is homesick. I don't imagine this is a nice place for penguins to live.
...An architect, huh? Impressive.
...And apparently also Canadian. I guess to be fair, Mario's Russia is somewhere else this game.
That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He's related to Herringway, the novelist.
Herringway's detective books have sold so well that he's bought a second house here.
Moving from frigid Shiver City to toasty Poshley Heights seems to have irked him.
More "everyone is related to Herringway" Bumpties.
The Hotel dominates this map. That sign in the bush assures us this is still the area's Inn.
I've had more than enough of this guy... How does he do it? I'm almost impressed now! He moves at light speed, and he always knows where we'll be! Talk about freaky!
And somehow, Dupree is waiting for us besides the water feature.
At least he's willing to empty his wallet on some other fool's errand.
You can actually take the elevator up anytime, not just when you set up a room.
Although there's nothing up here but a nice penthouse room.
Right, so how much is it for a room?
Only 30 coins? Still far too rich for my blood, but that's quite the steal!
Also, here's the freebie Inn Coupon for Poshley Heights. Strangely, Poshley's Inn accepts Inn Coupons. That feels kinda like scamming the place, though.
That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He says he walks barefoot for his health. I wonder if I should try that...
I'd consider it, but also I just got these Ultra Boots and I'd rather not lose them.
That's Toadia of Poshley Heights. She spends a lot of time thinking by this fountain. She's actually leading a double life as the secretary of the Luigi Fan Club.
Toadia has a very relaxed, Petalburg approach to life, which because of her connection to that one generic guy in Petalburg through the Luigi Fan Club, made me think they had similar hobbies. Nope, was thinking of a Bub-ulber or something.
Well, at least there are Bumpties who like it here. For some reason.
That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He's totally fixated on this spot, for some reason. I was thinking maybe he hops into the fountain on really hot days... But wasn't there a nasty old snapping Nibbles in that fountain?
That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He really, REALLY likes the sanctum. Really. I kinda see where he's coming from... It IS a nice building. Talk about an eyeful, y'know?
The Sanctum itself is... a massive building, even if it has two exhibits total. It's big to be big, you betcha.
That's Poshley Sanctum. I guess the sanctum grounds are used as a public square. That fountain out front is unique, huh? Yeah, but that water... I bet Nibbles would still chomp your tush if you fell in...
The Sanctum itself, from a nice viewing perspective. Also a Shine Sprite, albiet one very high in the air.
You have to Spring Jump into this one.
Unfortunately, we will find that our trip has come to an abrupt end.
The Sanctum Manager is on holiday, and the place is closed.
Which... we really need to find a solution to that problem.
Ms. Mowz: Hmm... Should I just jimmy the lock, dearie?
I absolutely love this suggested solution and suggest we try it.
Pennington arrives, ready to finally be useful for once in the story of Chapter 6.
Despite his claims, Pennington is not actually a detective by trade, but the Sanctum Manager. I am told this position is actually filled by a priest in the Japanese version, which... sure, whatever, I'm not sure I trust Pennington with those duties.
A hobby he enjoys, but at which he is not particularly good. We can't judge him for being bad at it, but we can fault him for positioning himself as good at it when we required the assistance of one.
Now, see, I'd find it interesting if we could open the way to Poshley Heights before taking the Excess Express, since the only interesting place is locked off to us until we ride it and bring Pennington home. Sure, if Keelhaul Key's pipe was earlier, perhaps they'd move the one for Poshley Heights, but it's an interesting idea.
Speedrunners, of course, have found a glitch that allows them into this pipe early, so they can come here before boarding the Excess Express. Somewhat hilariously, given that thought, it turns out that reading the note that Pennington is on vacation causes him to appear and open the door no matter what part of the game you're in. Flags being Flags, I guess.
That's Pennington. I guess sleuthing is just his hobby. He's the sanctum-keeper. I knew that detective bit was fishy... but I guess a little sleuthing on the side is OK...
Again, as long as he's not claiming to be a functional detective when people need one. Which he was.
We enter Poshley Sanctum, and for the first time in the trilogy, Mario is able to see something before we do despite the thing being on camera. If you have really good vision, you might be able to pick out
Doopliss by the pedestal. Beldam and Marilyn are a little too concealed, although they do now have that Garnet Star.
And away Beldam and Marilyn flee!
Doopliss, who cannot use the Veil technique, panics and jumps out a window. The fact it's broken inwards means he probably jumped through it to get in in the first place.
...How?
Pennington, since this is his place, asks us what is going on.
And is very pleased to find out we came for the Garnet Star.
Fortunately, Pennington came prepared for this eventuality. Beldam is going to laugh all the way to Grodus, who will proceed to berate her for getting a fake Crystal Star. De. Served.
Funnily enough, to bring this all the way back to the Prologue, the fact that Pennington keeps a fake Crystal Star openly on display should attract the scientific community researching the Thousand Year Door. Undoubtedly, the fact that it is fake probably caused a number of red herrings of its own.
Leaving us to the real one.
Pennington is not allowed and not interested in telling us where it is, though.
And does not make a convincing argument that this reluctance to do so is by design and not by ignorance.
Considering everything we've done on the Excess Express, though, Pennington has the utmost in confidence we will find it faster than he will.
"And please tell me how you did it. I'm stumped."
Talk to him again, and he does suggest he may have merely forgotten where he put it, rather than never been informed in the first place. I could believe both, although I do lean closer to Pennington having never known where it was at all.
This is Poshley Sanctum. It sure is spacious inside! ECHO! ...Echo...Echo... Does Pennington really live here alone? I bet it's hard to clean this place... Hey, and those ☆ marks on the floor must mean something, right?
Poshley Sanctum is so huge, I'm riding Yoshi across because screw using normal speed. The theme is appropriately cavernously empty to match.
As Goombella alluded to, this tile with a star on it is the answer, and Mario must use his Spring Jump to get to the destination. No wonder Pennington couldn't find it on his own.
Smells like no items to find up here, thankfully.
You'll need to Spring Jump up multiple poles to get to the airplane panel on top. You cannot cross over the banners, although you can skip a bar if you know where to jump.
You can also skip a bar with good flying- I think you're intended to land on the ledge beneath us. I don't think it's possible to land on the top one.
Upon hitting the switch up top, a secret pipe into the painting is unveiled.
Welcome to the other Poshley Sanctum.
Is this part of Poshley Sanctum, too? Exactly how does all of this work? Well, whatever... This must be the secret resting place of the Crystal Star. Based on his reactions, I'd say that Pennington didn't even know about this...
Ghost T. alluded to this circumstance, and yeah, Mario isn't exactly stranger to jumping into paintings. Although it seems this place has been infested with enemies while Pennington was busy not knowing it existed.
That's a Dark Boo. Purple just looks… so wrong. These Boos are SO creepy. Max HP is 8, Attack is 5, and Defense is 0. Its HP and Attack are high, but they're just like ordinary Boos otherwise. So, just attack it like a normal Boo. Get it before it turns invisible!
Dark Boo is a stronger recolour of the Boo that functions identically- it can get everyone to float at flying height, turn somebody invisible, or scare us for 5 damage. They first appeared here, and appear in Partners in Time later.
Well, I guess I knew what I was getting into challenging these guys to fights.
There's that pyrotechnic stage opening in effect. I don't think this corresponds to anything like the fog machines do.
Anyway, before we grab the Garnet Star, you may notice the puzzle to open this place still seems to be here. The painting of the Sanctum in the background has a closed door, however...
You'll notice a Shine Sprite up here, too. You know, to make sure it's worth it. Although Shine Sprites are starting to lose a bit of value the closer we get to upgrading everybody...
There we go. L Emblem (0 BP) will dress Mario in Luigi's green. Fittingly, it is kept here, where the maximum amount of time is spent without being able to let Pennington correctly identify the colour of Mario's clothes.
I hope you don't mind, I'll be playing as Luigi. I'm a huge Luigi fan, although admittedly I prefer post-Dream Team Luigi to his more comical variant back here in the naughties.
A Crystal Star acquired by having Mario manually click on it! Yes, this is the only one of its kind!
Showstopper, for 2 BP, will make you press a bunch of buttons similarly to Veil, starting with three buttons and increasing the further along the attack you are. Once the attack is launched, Showstopper will attempt to apply the "Instant Death" status. This is Up and Away, except you get Star Points for it. It could come in handy on the odd fight, and is hilarious on one fight in particular...
Fair warning, Showstopper's animation is very "flashing screen". Although by this point, I feel like the Black Chest Demons and the general stage effects have convinced anyone who has visual impairments to skip playing this game.
Mario found the sixth Crystal Star, hidden craftily in the Poshley Heights sanctum. Now only one Crystal Star remains... But our hero still does not know where Princess Peach is being held. Where could the last Crystal Star be? And where is Peach being held? Hoping this Crystal Star might yield answers, Mario and friends return to Pennington.
Well, what is Pennington going to know?
We'll have to walk back out of the Sanctum manually, for some reason. I think this is just so we can get some Pennington dialogue.
This line, in particular, really points towards Pennington not actually knowing where the Garnet Star was kept.
Since we were clever enough to find it, Pennington is happy to allow us to keep it. He does have a spare fake to set out, and so long as someone puts down that curtain (they won't), nobody needs to know the Garnet Star is in our hands at all.
Trust me, Pennington, this was a breather compared to my usual shenanigans.
...Do you walk around often, or do you spend a lot of time alone in the giant Sanctum? I feel like the latter is a good way to develop some severe issues.
Not that it ever was.
Now that we leave the Poshley Sanctum, we are sent to the intermission state. I presume this is because of a limited number of ways to induce that- I really would've rathered not have to trudge through the whole Sanctum if it was going to be so cavernously big.
Next time: A good day for villains.
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