When we last left our heroes, we were soaring through space at incredible speeds.
We land on the Moon- thankfully. How far would we go if we missed? At least the Lumas are off somewhere.
...We could've landed better. Thank goodness we're made of paper.
Goombella: Wow! That was KILLER! I totally never would've guessed I'd get to do THAT!
Koops: Man! That was something! Who would've thought I'd ever get to do THAT?
Flurrie: My! That was exciting! I'd never DREAMED I'd do a thing like THAT!
Dr. Agon: Whoa! That was AWESOME! Man, who knew adventurers got to do stuff like THAT!
Vivian: Gee whiz! That was wild! I never thought I'd take a ride like THAT...
Ms. Mowz: Oh, my! That was quite fun! I can't say I ever thought I'd take a ride like THAT!
Everyone seems to have enjoyed it. That's a surprise out of Koops.
And seem completely unharmed in all regards.
And now, we have but only to find it.
We're on the moon! Awesome! The moon I always look up at, can you believe it? I mean, I heard they'd put a Goomba on the moon in '69, but who knew WE'D get here? Boy, nothing's impossible on your adventures, Mario! You are the COOLEST!
There's a ton of Goombella Tattles out here, considering that in normal play, you won't actually spend too long on the Moon itself. Neat how there was apparently a Neil Goomstrong.
Incidentally, shoutouts to some of my favourite landings from the other partners. Vivian's just weird because they need to keep that tail on the ground and there is no way to maintain that in mid cannon.
That cracked rock behind where we start has a Stop Watch. There are a lot of hidden items on the Moon- most of them not great, but compared to how most people explore the place, more than you might expect.
Oh, and yes, there are Moon Physics. This is the only area in which they apply, of course.
That's a Moon Cleft. It's your basic Cleft living on the moon. Max HP is 6, Attack is 5, and Defense is 5. Defense is high, as usual… and fire attacks don't work against it. If you can turn it over with an explosion, though, its Defense goes down to 0.
Moon Clefts are what I assume to be the local lifeform, and oh boy do they make an annoying enemy to deal with. Quake Hammer and Shell Slam is the way to go. These have the colouration of the normal Clefts, which seems to have confused Super Paper Mario when one comes back and not the other.
Annoyingly, since this doesn't flip them, this isn't as good as a plan as it looks.
Especially when they don't even take the point of damage from this. This should at least be piercing to enemies, too.
I suppose I can't blame him for that when I did it.
Zap Tap cleanly finishes off the other ones, at least. They don't have any other attacks.
Bobbery is also a good pick for dealing damage.
Funny they give me another one.
Hey, Mario! Did you see that? I saw a comet or something! It was all, like, "PSHOOWEE!" Should I try and make three wishes, do you think? I wish for... Hee hee hee! That's TOP SECRET!
Goombella still geeking out over the Moon.
There's plenty of rocks to blow up, although not all of them have stuff.
Dr. Agon can speed you up, although not as much as he does on Earth, and I think he struggles with craters.
The stars sure are pretty here. I wonder if I can find my favorite constellation... I'm such a totally shameless romantic, it's not even funny.
Probably. Much less light pollution and better vantage points. Although maybe it'll look different to usual.
...Then again, it's Mario, constellations don't work the way real ones do.
More FP! I'm starting to chafe with the amount I have, and I'll need some more.
A Volt Shroom? Really?
Boy, I guess there are pretty much just rocks on the moon. I guess I knew that, but it's still kind of disappointing.
Bummer...
The romanticism is starting to wear out, and Goombella realises that yes, the Moon is just a giant rock. If you're not a geologist on Earth, you're not going to be all that excited to be on the Moon once "OMG I'M ON MOON" wears off. Why do you think we only went to the Moon six times in three years? OK, yes, going to the Moon is no longer an ego-stroking contest so it doesn't get funding anymore, but I feel like this is a connected thought.
A bunch of fish fall into the audience. Why are we not doing something about this stage?
If you stand in the right place, you can see the backdrop of the moon appear underneath the diorama we're standing on. Kinda funny.
You see the Moon Clefts that live up here? You think they live on green cheese, Mario? ...You know I'm kidding, right? I'm not that much of a cheeseball... get it?
I'm still bummed there are only rocks here.
...Poor Goombella.
At last, we have found the map we're looking for. The Moon is completely circular, and once you get here, you don't need to explore anything else unless you really want those junk items hidden around.
That's a Z-Yux. It's a genetic improvement on the original Yux. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. Multiple Mini-Z-Yux will appear to protect the main unit, as you'd expect. Sometimes they also restore HP to the main unit, which really burns me up! It doesn't have much HP, but those barriers often protect it from attacks.
Z-Yux is an improvement in numbers only- although yes, it can give itself 2 HP if it's hurt.
That's a Mini-Z-Yux. It lives to protect the Z-Yux. There can be as many as 4. Max HP is 2, Attack is 0, and Defense is 0. If you don't clear these guys out, you'll never be able to attack the Z-Yux. Using a multiple-strike attack to take them out all at once is a totally good idea. I mean, I respect them for protecting their…whatever, but they get NO mercy!
And don't forget to separately Tattle the Mini Z-Yuxes. These guys foreshadow what we're going to find in the Fortress itself.
Oh, and yes, their laser beams will start fights while they're well on the other side of the screen. Good luck gathering their drops if they hit you from this distance.
There's a weird-looking building off in the distance. Why would THAT be here? Looks like we'll need to find a pipe to get there, though. So... let's look for a pipe.
From the maps I've seen, the Fortress is on the exact opposite side of the Moon compared to the screen you landed on. I always just went right.
...Does Gulp not spit out on the Yux? That's strange.
Star Piece behind this rock on the Moon. Yes, we still have to worry about those here.
And a Power Punch in a rock.
Go Koops!
Last but not least, a Ruin Powder in a bombable rock.
Now then, we're going to make a trip to the postgame real quick:
Right, let's pretend I was smart and brought Space Food with me the first time.
So what's so special about it? Well, first of all, it only heals 5 HP even here in space.
It also applies a strange new status to Mario, represented by a no symbol as its thought bubble. From the in-game description and Nintendo Power's name "Allergic", it is not at all clear what it does.
Let's see what happens if we attempt to apply Dodgy Fog to Mario.
...Huh. I'm not Dodgy. Interesting.
...I didn't even damage you, you're just showing off.
That showed it off. Allergic renders you immune to all status effects, positive or negative, and it includes Power Lift.
Anyway, back to the main game. To get to the X-Naut Fortress, we have to blow up a rock to get a pipe to the background. Just like Hooktail's Castle...
The party's overall awareness and suspicion of the X-Nauts is so low that they step into a mystery facility and aren't even suspecting the X-Nauts own it. At least they know this place isn't friendly.
(Music is not yet playing for the place, and will never play in this room.)
Who knew there'd be such a weird building on the moon... It's kind of crazy, actually. I mean, it's got a big glass dome to keep all of the air from leaking out...
...What's that? Yeah, now that you mention it, I guess we were OK out there with no air to breathe.
..................................
Yeah, I'd rather not think about that too much, I guess. Let's change the subject.
Goombella lampshades the fact the facility has artificial air in a game where Mario clearly doesn't give a crap about oxygen. Similar story with Galaxy, after all. This place does have artificial gravity, however.
We get our first interruption as soon as we enter the first proper room.
We bump right into the guards- X-Nauts in different colours. Obviously, this is the game's way of making this chapter be threatening when X-Nauts were established as Chapter 2 enemies, but it feels weird we've only seen these guys in the occasional Peach intermission before now.
Overall, one gets the impression these guys are the competent ones.
That's an Elite X-Naut. This guy is the creme de la creme of the X-Nauts. Max HP is 10, Attack is 5, and Defense is 1. He'll use regular attacks as well as boosting his power or size. Elite X-Nauts are tough, but you just have to smack away until they go down.
Yes, these two are a mini-boss. The Elite X-Naut will be the standard enemy we'll encounter here in the Fortress, and they offer no advantages over the X-Nauts other than numbers: Their only options are body slams and potions that make them Huge. I assume the reason the game has been so stingy about making us fight X-Nauts all along is that it wants to keep every encounter static, and can't really make a lot of X-Naut variety because part of the reason they're so intimidating is that they are uniform and high in quantity.
Oh, and by the way, Mario is so overpowered right now that he can jump on this one to oneround it. You need +3 Attack to manage this- so both Power Pluses and Jumpman.
Goombella can't oneround it anyway (no P-Up D-Down P), although I needed to Tattle it anyway.
New hue, same dumpster.
...You let them get away? Now the whole base knows we're here.
Koops: Ummm... Mario? The fact that these X-Naut guys are here... Yeah, definitely! It definitely means the Crystal Star must be here, too!
Flurrie: Mario, darling! If these X-Naut buffoons are here... Yes! The Crystal Star must be here, as well!
Dr. Agon: Gonzales! Don'tcha think that since these X-Naut dopes are running around here... Yeah, totally! It means that the Crystal Star must be here, too!
Vivian: Uh, Mario? The fact that the X-Naut security is so tight must mean... Yes! It must mean that the Crystal Star is here, too!
Bobbery: Mario, old boy! Since these X-Naut ruffians are about... Yes, I'm quite sure of it! The Crystal Star must be here, as well!
Ms. Mowz: Mario! These X-Naut soldiers running around means... Yes, I'm positive! The Crystal Star must be here, too!
Vivian's the only one who notices it's the X-Naut's volume that says this is the spot, although all of them seem far too taken aback to find the X-Nauts on the Moon.
We knew they were on the Moon, thanks to Peach.
This is the X-Naut Fortress. This seems to be the only way in or out. The stars look really nice through these windows, but I guess now's not the time...
And now the X-Naut Fortress theme kicks in. I really like this one, it's a nice techno jam for the high-tech villains in Mario's roster. We have a place to rest and save here, but a complicated lair to navigate.
And right away, we need to find a key.
This is a fortress corridor. An elevator connects it to the lower floors. I guess this fortress extends pretty far beneath the surface of the moon, huh? I mean, I hate Grodus, but I gotta give him some props for a pretty cool evil hideout.
I admit it, I'm a sucker for the techno theme. May genuinely be the coolest villain hideout of the bunch, not as though there's a ton of competition for the title.
...Come to think of it, I don't think any of the Mario & Luigi villains have their own hideouts, instead commandeering Bowser or Peach's Castle to serve as the final dungeon. This place is only really competing with SPM's Castle Bleck and SMRPG's Smithy's Factory.
This room looks like it was meant to store something... It's booby-trapped, I think. Not to totally change the subject or anything, but how's your memory, Mario? If you have trouble recalling the full path, you oughta maybe leave and reenter.
There's three of these rooms in the fortress, and this one is, of course, the easiest. That path will stop being highlighted once you have control, but following it is the only way to not get zapped by the electrified floor on ever other tile.
Again, if you have any sort of short-term memory, this will probably be pretty trivial. If you really struggle with it, I think you can Flutter Jump onto the ending stretch across if you line up on that row.
Once you acquire the treasure in the booby-trapped room, the electrical floor defuses.
Allowing you to grab the item block.
We can now go down a sublevel. We're never coming back to Level 1 again.
Don't bother going to Sublevel 1. You can technically do something there now, but you're intended to learn how on Sublevel 2.
That's an X-Naut PhD. Guys like this invent all the annoying things we fight. Max HP is 9, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. He likes to throw beakers of chemicals. The chemicals do all kinds of stuff, like making things huge or burning people. He may also use potions to heal himself or make himself impossible to hit. X-Naut PhDs are REALLY annoying, so take them out before they boost themselves.
X-Naut PhD is an easier enemy to knock out than the Elite X-Naut, and absolutely the priority target. Unlike Elite X-Nauts, they have a lot more potions on their person, and can either drink it themselves or throw it at you to apply status ailments.
Each potion has a set colour, and they should be as follows:
- Blue potions are the only ones that are exclusively buffs, applying the Dodgy status to the PhD.
- Pink potions will heal 10 HP to one X-Naut, either himself someone else.
- Orange potions (I'm not sure these ones are separate) heal 5 HP to the X-Naut PhD and someone or something else.
- Red potions will damage one character for 4 damage, and apply the Burn status.
- Yellow potions will damage both characters for 4 damage, inflicting no statuses.
- Purple potions will damage both characters for 3 damage, and attempt to apply the Shrink status.
This room looks like it was meant to store something... It's booby-trapped, I think. If you wander off the correct path, it looks like you'll take damage, don'tcha think? Rooms like this ALWAYS have a hint, though. It's like, a law. See anything like that?
We're going through Sublevel 2 from left to right, and we start with an end room: the second Booby trap.
There are two ways to traverse this room: You may either copy the pattern displayed on the wall, or you can notice that the safe tiles have a different shine to the electrified ones.
If the Sleepy Sheep bounces to the right, you can actually grab it while the room is still electrified.
A Card Key this time. We'll see what we need this for later.
Next up, these rooms. We visited two with Peach, but now we'll have more to see with Mario.
Including X-Nauts flinging fiery potions at us.
...Helpful?
This is Grodus's lab. He must have his researchers work on various potions here. I don't think we should touch any of this stuff, though... One wrong move and...
KABOOOOOOM!
...Know what I mean?
While I eat that, welcome to the potion-brewing room. As Goombella says, we shouldn't touch anything- not because of any respect for Grodus's property rights, but because these chemicals will blow up in our face if we try to do any chemistry unless a trained chemist assists us with which ones are safe to mix.
I feel like we can safely assume no one in the party is a trained chemist. Goombella is probably the closest thing we have, and she majored in archaeology.
The memos that formerly held clues to how to brew a potion of invisibility now have various messages from the X-Nauts as people.
...Speaking of which, I thought I remembered X-Naut PhDs being able to turn invisible. As much as that would suck to fight, I'd love the continuity of them having brewed such potions and using them here. Perhaps their recipe was for the dodgy ones and TEC modified it in the mixing phase to provide invisibility. This is, technically, supported by noticing that in-battle Invisibility works on your clothes while TEC's potion didn't. This being the intention is the only way I'm forgiving the "TEC made Peach streak" joke.
...Good enough.
We should've invaded during that. Get all the X-Naut PhDs out of the way.
Presumably, there were WHS issues involved with X-Nauts not being aware all-point inspections were being done. I'm not sure why this would be, though- wouldn't that lead to all-point inspection redundancies? Maybe this is Grodus trying to cut corners on that.
In verifying all-point inspections were what they sounded like, I found a copy of an inspection checklist for a chemical lab. I'd be tempted to do this inspection myself, but I didn't realise it was six pages long (plus a seventh for admin). Instead, take the checklist as evidence that the X-Nauts would definitely want to avoid doing these more than once.
It looks like it, but Mario cannot jump high enough to land on top of the machine.
The next room we have to visit appears after the elevator from Level 1.
This looks like some kinda teleporter. Who knows where that thing would send us! Maybe that's what the X-Nauts use to go between the moon and the earth. I think we have to switch it on and then stand on the platform to use it.
This room is the method through which the X-Nauts travelled to Earth: a teleporter that comes out somewhere in the world. Where? Surprise surprise, it's in Rogueport.
Despite the way the plot feels at this point, we can use it now to go back for whatever we fancy from anywhere in the world. When we are told to use this to leave narratively, it is implied it was not available for our use beforehand.
This next room is an important one.
This looks like a lab for genetic experimentation... Maybe Yux were made here... I guess they must have some pretty advanced technology if they can do stuff like that. Hey, by the way, Mario... You see up there? One of these ceiling panels is loose. Don't you have some super move or something that can get us up there?
This room isn't inherently interesting on its own, other than being the room in which Yux is created. What's interesting about it is that open vent over there.
OK, first we have to deal with this X-Naut PhD attacking me. That's a First Strike I got hit by, it uses the red potion effect.
Also interestingly, despite the fact that the Yux's Tattles have already appeared in the trash can, there's a Yux in this formation. Normal X-Nauts can appear later in the fortress, which is why we haven't got them yet, but I don't think Yuxes appear on the overworld? That seems to be the only difference between X-Naut and Yux in terms of the trash can.
Vivian can just blow up Yuxes with Fiery Jinx.
To make sure you notice this panel, it makes a loud, obnoxious creaking noise.
Fortunately, that doesn't continue up here in the vents.
Star Piece in this far corner.
And a closed vent to fall down with Paper Mode.
We saw this Cog earlier, but now we can claim it with Shell Toss. What crane? It's on Sublevel 1.
The elevator Peach used is currently locked to us.
...Oh, this could go badly very fast.
Especially since Mario needed to heal up.
Right, let's hope for the best with these.
...Could've been worse.
Could also have been better.
...Good thing I Shrunk two of them!
Also this. This probably saved my bacon.
Right, let's get back to fighting.
Making absolutely sure we knock out multiple heads.
And Ms. Mowz being at the ready to pick up the last one.
...That wasn't the item we had being used on us. Oh well, whatever.
Anyway, with that out of the way, our next room is the one right beyond the elevator, the other one we saw with Peach.
This is a changing room. I guess even X-Nauts have to change out of their uniforms... But what do you think they look like under those suits? I'm...not gonna think about it. There's a ventilation duct in the ceiling at one end... That's not good for privacy!
...Why is the ventilation duct a privacy issue? Do you think X-Nauts routinely spend time in the ducts? We can only get in there with Spring Jump!
The two memos in this room tell you two codes we will need in order to solve puzzles on Sublevel 1. Both of these codes are the same on all playthroughs (which makes me suspect 014029 of being gorowase or otherwise significant, but I've been told the translation is "delicious meat", which... doesn't help), but you still need to come down to Sublevel 2 first for the Cog. Granted, that Cog is just for optional goodies.
If we go all the way to the right in the ventilation duct, we can indeed drop right into the changing room. I don't think we need to do this for what we're about to see, but I usually do it. It feels right.
It's the home of TTYD's obligatory 8-bit Mario cameo, complete with those 1-1 chiptunes!
This time, all the partners get involved- even Flurrie and Vivian, who have no basis for appearing in this style, as well as Ms. Mowz, Bobbery and Yoshi, who all debuted on more advanced hardware (FDS for Mowz and Bob-omb, SFC for Yoshi).
You can also switch your Emblem to get the appropriate colour palette on Mario. Mario, of course, uses his traditional colours rather than his NES original.
Right, back to exploration.
This place is a bit overdone, huh? It just screams, "Hey! I'm an evil mastermind!" I wonder if poor Princess Peach got dragged in here before?
There are no more rooms on Sublevel 2 other than the ending room, and here we can visit Grodus's evil villain lair.
That's an X-Yux. I hear this is read as "Cross"-Yux, not as "Ex"-Yux. Anyway, this is a new Yux designed to protect extra-important areas… They were designed to be unbeatable. They're not. Max HP is 10, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. It can produce two Mini-X-Yuxes at once. AND, it has an excellent success rate of immobilizing opponents. We gotta do something about that if we're gonna win.
X-Yux, in addition to being the source of the statement that "Cross-Naut" is the correct pronounciation of the organisation in the English translation, is also the best of the best creations to serve Grodus. This one guards Grodus's room and, while not actually a mini-boss, is informally such. Its ring attack does indeed have a chance of landing Stop if you don't block it, and it also has a combo attack that can also inflict Stop on each hit.
Thanks.
I'm going to need some SP later, might as well stock up while I let the Minis come out...
Dammit.
That's a Mini-X-Yux. It lives to protect the X-Yux. Up to 4 can guard the X-Yux. Max HP is 1, Attack is 0, and Defense is 0. You can't attack the main unit until you clear these annoying pests out. So use multiple-strike attacks to take them out all at once!
Right, we'll deal with the Tattle later, Mini X-Yuxes are the real keys to X-Yux's power, since it can spawn two of them at a time and also uses them as the source of its combo attack. It can only do it if it has all four X-Yuxes surrounding it. So, you know, don't let that happen.
...Should've expected that. It doesn't seem to have helped me.
At least I took one out. Goombella is now fine to Tattle.
And then Thunder Rage.
Much like the Elite X-Nauts, I can one-round these if I want.
What's this room for, huh? Is it some kind of office for the X-Naut boss or what? Maybe we should just give it a once-over to make sure we don't miss anything. Boy, and what's with these tanks full of Nibbles? Jeepers, that creeps me out...
With the X-Yux taken out through traditional means (we didn't actually have to kill it, it is easily avoided with Dr. Agon and evasive action), we can go into Grodus's office with no consequences. Where is Grodus, anyway?
Don't mind me, borrowing your card key.
Now it is time to visit Sublevel 1.
...Oh. I still have First Attack on from the backtracking for General White. I assume that was an X-Naut classic.
This looks like a storage room for valuables. The crane can grab stuff up there. It should work if you set a gear in place and press those switches in order... I'm sure you can handle it. It's not exactly moon-rocket science, here.
This is the crane for which we needed the Cog. (The note simply says Gears Under Repair.) With the Cog in place, we can now push three buttons.
Of course, the order required is Left, Right, Middle.
This allows us to operate the crane.
The crane operates like a crane game, and these are, I believe the only prizes. Certainly the only prizes worth looking at. Although if it turns out Badges like Refund and Money Money spawn if you leave and come back, I swear...
Speaking of swearing, Feeling Fine and Feeling Fine P (4 BP) are both available for the first time here, having been nerfed to account for the fact they are just that so much more powerful because of all the status effects the game is throwing at you that make you wish you had them sooner. They only block Sleep, Stop, Dizzy, Poison, Confused, Electrified, Soft, and Tiny- you're not covered for Burn or Frozen. Not sure why not Frozen, but since that's a stage effect, you're still in danger of that.
Would you believe me if I told you this just so happens to be Star Piece #100? Yes, when we're back to Dazzle, we're done.
Hahaha, all those X-Nauts...
He wishes.
Despite having the entire keyboard at your command, as well as the eight character limit of all other prompts, the code is a six digit numeric one. I guess they didn't want to spring for a number-only interface when this is the only thing asking us for such a code.
The code is necessary to enter this room, and entering this room is how we progress with all other rooms on Sublevel 2 being a bit dead endy.
What's this room for, huh? I feel like I've seen that face somewhere before... Hmmm... Oh well, forget about it, I guess.
This room brings back a familiar face from Chapter 1, all right...
...Uh... no, I'm not. Our next destination is the X-Naut's factory, not the computer room. At this point, the computer room is under lockdown, owing to the fact the computer has defected and is shut down. Maybe they don't want us knowing that.
Bring it, Thwimpy.
Despite the threats to our life and limb, this Thwomp uses the same tactics as the one in Shhwonk: a game show.
Yes, they did remember to increment the count on the Quirk Quiz.
Same rules as last time, of course.
Well, he's already told us what that is, because he's one heck of a villain. I appreciate the fact the things that aren't Keys still end in the "key" sound, though. Even if "Monkey" isn't something in the game.
I want a monkey...
What kind of evil scientist doesn't have a monkey? Get me my Ukiki!
Despite being a robot, it has all the same evil laughing. It also changes the colour of its eyes to denote you got a question right or wrong.
At least two of the distractors are indeed women! The fact none of them are Koopas, nor have they ever been shown to so much as step foot in Petalburg, makes this really obvious. Not that I really think they could hide it that well with punny names.
Blue headlights for a correct answer.
In Japanese, I'm told the pun is "Nihon", as in Japan.
I really don't see what your problem is with the answer "Defeat". I knock them all out with a mighty Earth Tremor (...plus Headbonk).
I think it still laughs like the Thwomp.
All of these were correct locations of a Crystal Star. Respectively, we found the Gold, Sapphire, Diamond and Garnet Stars in these locations.
Decent job on distractors. I guess.
And also decent, especially since the fact they use rings is so weird. They don't even have fingers.
He's so upset if you can make it up to four.
Try not to consider the fact this would apply to the Mush or Ring questions above.
That is the question we're going with?
...Also, it's on the board above our head. That was visible with the UI up.
Oh no. Whatever will I do.
The puzzle pieces reassembling also changes the lights of his eyes.
...That... could pose an issue.
Maybe I should've picked up some extra Star Power before coming in here.
Got most of the way down in one swoop, at least. Also KOing one, that's important. If I couldn't do that, I was in trouble.
Whee!
This is the exact moment I noticed I didn't bring the Zess Dynamite. It was my ace in the hole.
Why did I think that was going to help? I guess I was still in my inventory and figured it'd help.
Thanks, Vivian.
I may be the slightest bit overpowered.
Wow. Temper tantrum much? Why is Grodus programming all his mechanical minions with emotions?
Right, now we can move on.
Right off, we have the options to go Sublevel 3 or Sublevel 4. Sublevel 3 is the only interesting one mechanically, so why not start with 4?
Wonder what this room's for? There are beds and lockers, but we can't nap here... There's nothing else, really. The weird thing is, it kind of smells nice in here, huh? Why do you think that is?
This is Peach's prison level. Although Goombella has absolutely no clue. It's... not exactly hard to narrow down the possibilities.
It even plays Peach's theme while you're in here.
As Goombella said, this isn't a rest bed. Although I feel like the option should've been allowed.
This is a... shower room? I guess every evil-guy base of ultimate doom needs one... Just because you're evil doesn't mean you enjoy B.O., y'know what I mean?
Well, the minions probably have B.O. I doubt Grodus has a B. to O.
There's an Elite X-Naut hiding behind the shower. That's the only thing in Peach's cell for us.
Oh hey, I got his Boo's Sheet!
TEC's door is locked. So no, we can't access the computer room.
Sublevel 3 it is.
...More X-Naut classics.
This room looks like it was meant to store something... It's booby-trapped, I think. If you stay on the tiles that were lit up, I think you'll be OK, Mario. Er... But you should totally go first, one way or the other...
This room, on the other hand, is by far the hardest one of the booby traps.
That path will move around like a Snake Block from the platformers, and you are only safe while standing on it. It moves slow enough when you use it directly (it zips around while you're standing on the platform and staring), but it's still kinda stressful.
I think you can grab that item? Wouldn't risk it.
It does, in fact, double back on itself here. Also note that your partner huddles close to you while you're crossing the electric floors no matter which one you're on.
It doubles back on itself again here, but more literally- it goes down to this square, and then right back up. It takes a hard left right afterwards, too, which is even worse- especially since this is the very end of the sequence.
That's our third Card Key (having got the other two from the other booby trapped room and Grodus's office).
HP Drain in the item block.
There are three panels here. I guess that means we need three Card Keys, huh? There must be something pretty important behind this door to have such security...
The three Card Keys are used all at once to enter this next room. I kinda feel like this should've come up sooner? Like, odds are you're not going back to Sublevel 2 to grab Card Keys, we're already expected to thoroughly explore that level and find the two that are up there.
It also requires you to put them into the terminals red-yellow-green. It's the intuitive order, but still.
Let's move on.
Four X-Naut PhDs, three with items. Can you say "this fight is going to suck?"
...I don't think he was hurt. I presume I jumped on the first two.
Probably should've Earth Tremor + Fiery Jinx this fight.
Thank you, Pretty Lucky.
Confusion in this game is so frustrating because the last thing the battle system needed was more RNG.
At least we can still block.
Another failed run, but Mario's plan was to swap to someone else.
...You keep doing that.
Imagine actually using Smooch. Especially this close to a level up.
Might've been nice, I dunno?
We've got this fight on the ropes.
Thank you, we are out of here.
Of course some of the coins went in the area I'm not allowed to stand in.
This is the X-Naut factory. I think they make all kinds of stuff here. It's pretty complicated, what with the crane and the pipe, and all those gears... Maybe we should just take this room one bit at a time, don'tcha think?
Anyway, now that that interruption is over, welcome to the X-Naut Factory. This gigantic room has more than enough puzzles to make Sublevel 3 about as involved as Sublevel 2 despite only having two rooms.
...That would explain why that fight went so poorly.
Excuse me, I've gotta... find some stuff to take off.
Anyway, we start by throwing Bobbery over to blow up this switch.
That turns on the conveyor so we can slide under with Vivian. There's a lot of field moves being used here, although oddly, I don't think Flurrie does anything at all this chapter?
Immediately following a use of Vivian as a partner is a platforming section suspended high in the air. This is what I like to call "make fun of Vivian's tail effect" hour, it almost seems custom-designed to include at least one moment where you're forced to see Vivian moving around with a ridiculously long tail. Flurrie is the only other partner who hovers in this game (contrast 64, which had four partners that could fly up after you if you did wacky platforming the partners couldn't manage), which really emphasises the fact Vivian is using custom following behaviour to chase us directly.
Next up, the background, where we must do a short, simple enough platforming section that-
We shall never speak of this again.
(I fell off at the first jump).
Redoing the platforming section to get back up, Vivian shows off a visual glitch that happens sometimes. The fact it kinda looks like her tail has been folded a bunch (when her tail is a normal length, all the black bars are bunched together) makes me suspect drawing her with a long tail causes this, but I'm not sure how it triggers beyond that.
If you want the Ultra Shroom, you jump right onto the leftmost platform. There are three platforms that bunch up when on the rightward swing, but the second platform doesn't go anywhere interesting or useful.
You have to cross the cogs, which are indeed physical elements, to reach this area. Now, when I was young, I didn't know how to get into that pipe there- there's no obvious way into that "box", right?
The vertical girders aren't solid. I feel like that should be more obvious.
If you know this pipe can take you into the foreground, though, this is actually insanely powerful in the context of the room, and I suspect by accident.
The devs intended you to go from this pipe to this switch, if you knew you could go into it.
That spawns a staircase up that way, to a locked door. Now, you can see that there's a platforming section leading up to a pipe in the background, with that pipe obviously taking us to the Plane panel. This is what you're intended to do, right?
Turns out you can just climb the stairs and fall onto the Plane panel. I feel like somebody in the testing team had to have tried that.
This gets us the Card Key that'll open the locked door.
That pipe here is purely an exit pipe, but down here is a healing station for the boss we are going to be encountering soon.
If we want to escape, we have to go all the way back to the start of the platforming section. I feel like there had to have been an easier way.
In the spirit of "I'm just laughing at the game by this point", I take the far pipe anyway, even though I have no need for the Plane panel anymore.
You can jump down from the Plane panel, or fly down with Plane and land precisely on these moving platforms, to get from that area to this one. Not knowing how to use that pipe in the box, I thought this was intended behaviour. So, ultimately, my playthroughs of the X-Naut Factory were somehow more tedious than the ones the developers intended.
No more futzing around. Let's just get inside.
This room is a nice big battle arena for a nice big boss. So who has Grodus left in charge of the last Crystal Star, the one thing standing between him and us denying him his wincon?
Goombella, and the partners in general, do not question why Crump is the one guarding the Crystal Star. Considering his efforts on the Boggly Tree excavation and blasting us with his pirate ship on Keelhaul Key, he probably looks rather competent to us, if you ignore the waves vaguely.
Vivian: Crump! You've been waiting for us? What does THAT mean?
Vivian is the only partner to address him by name, though. Everyone else calls him "You!".
This is, after all, a pretty ingenious plan on its own merits. If we lose this battle, the X-Nauts win. The problem, of course, is that Grodus has left the Crystal Star in the hands of a buffoon who has already lost to us twice.
Crump also taunts us with this part, despite the fact that we probably should've noticed she wasn't in her cell. In general, this taunt works a lot better on Mario than it does us, since we know Grodus is currently using Peach for Secret Reasons and also that Grodus has left at all.
...
I wonder if Mario is aware Grodus even exists right now.
The partner tries, in vain, to catch up with this plot point.
Bobbery: So Peach WAS here! Where did you take her, you hurly-burler?!?
Vivian calls Crump by name again, but I think Bobbery wins the name-calling round.
Crump, for all his faults, can actually manage being a decent villain. He is clearly comic relief and far beneath Grodus's league, but he's just competent enough that I'm starting to suspect Mario and Co. think Crump is representative of the X-Nauts as a whole. Yes, they have advanced technology, come from the Moon, and want to conquer the world, but look at this from Mario's perspective: The technology is a gimmick, maybe-aliens are no more wacky than anything in the Koopa Troop, and setting their sights high is no guarantee of actually being prepared to meet them. Without the insights into Grodus's mind the player is privy to, Mario thinks this is still an above-average Tuesday- slightly more dangerous, because of the demon they're trying to summon, but the X-Nauts themselves are relatively harmless.
With that said, just in case the player's impression this fight wasn't something to take seriously in the grander scope of the story, we get a repeat of Chapter 2's boss fight. This isn't the sort of fight you end the X-Nauts with.
Although Crump is doing his best to sell it as such.
Once again, the Chapter Boss theme is Lord Crump and Magnus von Grapple's.
We'll see about that. Although I have no idea where this "junior varsity" is coming from. Bad time in high school, you alien loser?
Koops: YOU'RE the one who's going to be hurting! No matter how many times we do this!
Flurrie: Oh, you foolish, foolish man. My dear, you KNOW we're just going to beat you again!
Dr. Agon: Aw, man, you know we're just gonna spank you again! You're out of your tree!
Vivian: You're the one who's going to suffer, Crump! No matter how many times we do this!
Bobbery: I say, old boy, I rather think YOU'RE going to be the one doing the suffering!
Ms. Mowz: Don't kid yourself, dearie!
Not one partner is at all scared of Crump. Ms. Mowz doesn't even dignify him with a longer taunt. Possibly because this can be her first time meeting Crump.
Ah! Magnus Von Grapple 2.0. The upgraded version of Magnus Von Grapple. Max HP is 70, Attack is 6, and Defense is 2. Its basic attack is a drill move that drops from above. It also sometimes releases its fists for flying X-Punches. Each X-Punch has a Max HP of 5, and Attack of 9, and a Defense of 0. When those fists are flying, you may get attacked by the fists and body in one turn… Take care of those low-HP fists early on, trust me. When the body's HP gets low, it'll also fire machine guns and who knows what else. It may not look too different from the last version, but it's much stronger, so be careful! I still think the whole design is a little ridiculous, though…
Magnus von Grapple 2.0 eschews the original's attacks entirely- the stomp and earthquake moves it used have been removed from its toolkit, replaced with a drill attack and a massive shuriken that both to 6 damage to both characters. The X-Fists have been retained as a mechanic, although their higher Atk makes them that much more scary- although 5 HP means you have plenty of options to remove them. Those "machine guns" use fanciful ammo, but that is indeed a scary attack. I'll show it later.
All languages except Spanish have a similarly "2" name (OK, German went with "Neo-Crucibot", at least). Spain also added "Mazin" to the beginning of the robot's name, in reference to an anime called Mazinger Z that I'm told was popular in Spain. I'm amazed they went with "Mazinrobo X2" instead of going whole hog and going with "Mazinrobo XZ".
Oh, that's nice.
Power Lift, of course, stealing the show. I wonder if Smorg and Magnus von Grapple 2.0 were balanced with Power Lift in mind- they still do hefty damage even with a strong +4 Def. Also, wow, I got +6 stats.
Getting a whole +4 Def really took the wind out of his sails.
Goombella landing a whole 5 damage with just Headbonk.
Mario, unfortunately, not sticking the landing and surpassing her in a single attack. Doing almost the same damage in one hit was impressive, though. The problem is how difficult it is to judge where, exactly, the game expects you to press A when you bounce on Magnus's almost vertical body.
He brags about this a lot...
Considering this is literally the one attack that Magnus von Grapple also had.
Mario manages to hit the Spring Jump this time. 17 damage in one hit.
Vivian tries, and fails, to use Fiery Jinx to cover the X-Fists.
She is not successful.
Crump has noticed his machine is half-busted and we are still standing. Strong.
So he decides to unleash that secret weapon of his.
He hovers over the audience and draws 20 of its members into his chassis through a nozzle attached to a part of his body that we're not going to mention.
Locked. And. Loaded.
...Well, OK, not locked, he needs to aim first.
This attack does 3 damage a head. Or would, if it wasn't for Power Lift. No matter what he's shooting at you, though, it's always the same 3 damage- from the tiniest Punies and Dayzees to the largest Bulky Bob-ombs and even... X-Nauts? Crump, you're tripping over yourself.
The Burn Vivian landed punishes him for that.
That Fiery Jinx went well. Why couldn't the first?
I really shouldn't have bothered with the Spring Jump.
You're really doing this again?
At least Goombella still has Power Lift active from the last time. It's worn off for Mario, but switching to Vivian saved Goombella a turn.
Not long left until his machine is busted.
Once again, Mario fails to land a bounce.
Although he does reduce it to low enough HP that Crump is getting very concerned.
Not low enough that Goombella can finish us off, though.
Fortunately, instead of another round of audience fire, he instead decides to bring back his X-Fists.
...That burn still there?
All right, let's try something...
You have got to be kidding me. (I'm told Grapple has a 40% vulnerability to Stop).
...Can we throw it back?
Goombella takes out one of the Fists.
Death by Burn damage. This was purely because I wanted to be funny, and not even part of the plan. But hey, if it's there, it's there.
Fortunately, that also takes out the remaining X-Fist.
Just like last time, for some weird reason, the controller vibrates during the shining, not the actual explosion effect.
Lord Crump is blasting off again~!
We will see Crump again later, although if it wasn't for that scene, you would be valid in assuming we just murdered a man by sending him to fly off into space. Honestly, I don't even like to acknowledge that one scene he's in exists...
Shrugs. He's an alien, outer space in Mario is less hostile than reality's, he can breathe. Although no air in space means he's not going to slow down until he hits something.
Fortunately, the Crystal Star is safe.
No, seriously, this one is called "the Crystal Star".
Supernova is the ultimate "I don't want to be here" attack. At a cost of a massive 6 Star Power, you will be tasked with mashing A. If you can fill all five gauges provided, Supernova will do an impressive 15 damage, piercing Defence, to everything. No regular enemies in the final dungeon survive even filling four gauges (which does 12 damage)- you have to wait until some of the dangerous stuff in the Pit of 100 Trials for Supernova to not be your instant win button. And bosses, too, but Power Lift was your win button on those.
The last Crystal Star had been hidden in the X-Naut hideout on the moon... But by the time Mario recovered it, Peach had already been taken away... Where could Peach be now? And what of the elusive Grodus? Perhaps he holds the key to the remaining puzzle... Mario finally has all seven Crystal Stars... Where will they lead him next?
We have all seven Crystal Stars, although we have not yet been clear on what exactly the wincon looks like for us. We still have to find Grodus and Peach before we can say we've won, and who knows what we'll have to do about the Thousand Year Door...
But for now, it looks like we are being sent to Intermission. There's an extended segment of us leaving the X-Naut base I feel like should've come before the intermission. Oh well, I guess Bowser really was a later addition.
Next time: All eyes on that Door.
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