We start the aftermath of Chapter 7 with Bowser. Peach, of course, has been taken away for Secret Reasons the game is having a lot of fun keeping from you, and telling you what she's doing would a) spoil the surprise and b) not be very fun.
Again, I wish we had Bowser comic relief after escaping the X-Naut Fortress, we just came off beating up Crump.
Surprisingly, if we were going in the pattern of Bowser always being two chapters behind, Poshley Sanctum is where he should be this time. I always assumed they had abandoned the "two chapters behind" thing by now and were just sending him to fake Crystal Stars.
Spoilers, Pennington had another one.
All we've gotta do is walk right up to Poshley Sanctum.
No reason not to terrorise the locals. And Kammy, too, who probably decided to take herself up on this suggestion and retire to Poshley after this game.
...The people of Poshley Heights seem surprisingly impervious to Bowser's presence.
...Toodles what the fuck
Toadia is more Bowser's speed. Although I don't think the Toads normally call for their parents when Bowser arrives.
Yes indeed, Mr. Bumpty.
Bowser: "Why won't people take me seriously?" Throws tanturm.
Goldbob and Sylvia ignore Bowser entirely, instead commenting on the fountain a short distance from their house. How often do you two get out of the house?
...Solid gold pot, meet solid gold kettle. You are every bit the capitalist you think you're insulting here, and proudly.
Sylvia: "By the way, we would like to buy it for a million billion coins."
And that is where Bowser draws the line? Wimp.
Bub will actually have an assortment of reactions depending on your answer.
Take the canonical branch, however?
And Bub does the smart thing, running the hell away. His parents continue to be enamoured with the fountain, not noticing their son is the only one noticing there's a monster on the loose.
Bowser: Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I am Bowser! Businessman of Legend! Fear my accounting!
Bub: Oh, a businessman? Like... Business trips, bribes, and brown noses! Oh my! Wow. Tough life, huh? So, mister, are you in charge of the coffeemaker or what?
The Businessman of Legend option is my favourite. This is a kid who's seen his father at work and knows exactly what it's like to be other people talking to him. Sadly, Bowser is not qualified to operate the Koopa Troop's coffeemaker.
Bowser: Gra ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I am the great Koopa Koot! All-Time Ancient Babbler!
Bub: Uh... Yeah... Right... Mister, that name stinks!
Claim to be Koopa Koot, from 64, and Bub is bored. Not even for the normal reasons one is bored talking to Koot.
I think there are shenanigans Bowser can do if the Shine Sprite is here, but I'm not sure what you need to do. I feel like most of the obvious stuff is covered.
Bowser, like Mario, finds a locked door waiting for him.
Unlike Mario, he throws a temper tantrum over it. That's how many?
Bowser brought his own lockpick.
Bowser waltzes right in and is happy to finally have the carpet rolled out for him. Shame it's green, but can't have everything.
This is just a "Got item!", about the same as Mario getting his gear upgrades, rather than the Crystal Star animation Mario has.
Let him have it. It's the best he's going to get for another few years.
Pennington wanders in from whatever errand he was running, and is only mildly concerned about his new arrivals.
It goes "You..." pause "are common thieves!", to really emphasise the joke.
His detective skills still need work.
We get another set of options for Pennington.
Of course Bowser is going to want the chance to gloat. He hasn't had anything close all game.
Pennington is terrified, although his poor observational skills prevent him from displaying the correct terror because he needs to be reminded of Bowser's title.
Please, Pennington. Let yourself be surprised. Trying to act like you deduced everything isn't fooling anyone.
Pennington is always happy to inform Bowser that he hasn't actually stolen the Garnet Star.
Bowser: Bowser, the Shadow Thief! Not A thief, the BEST thief! I'll be taking this, thanks!
Pennington: What? The Shadow Thief?!? I knew this had the scent of no mere burglary!!! Ha! You've been hornswoggled, Shadow Thief... for that is a red herring! A fake!
The title of "Shadow Thief" previously belonged to Popple, a character from Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga. "I'll be taking this, thanks" is a reference to Popple's catchphrase, "I'll be taking this, see". I presume the TTYD translators didn't catch the reference, although I'm not sure if JP did. Bowser did actually encounter Popple in Superstar Saga, although he had amnesia at the time (...long story).
Bowser: I am the great Koopa Koot! I'm taking this! Mess with me, and I'll bore you to death!
Pennington: I see... Unfortunately for you... that's a red herring. Yes, a fake. If you want it, it's yours.
Pennington might actually have enough fake Garnet Stars to hand out to anyone who wants one. What was the writer's predilection for Koopa Koot, anyway?
Bowser drops the Garnet Star. He doesn't even get to keep the reminder of his ineptitude.
Yes. That is the point of a fake. You put all the dressing on the fake one and hide the real one somewhere better, but more boring. And you fell for it. Hook. Line. And. Sinker.
Pennington has not yet been informed that Mario is the one gathering the Crystal Stars, and thus continues the joke from the encounter with Rawk Hawk that leaves Bowser incorrectly informed on Mario's movements.
Unlike "Gonzales", Bowser does recognise that name. This outrage that Bowser lost to Luigi is somehow a joke at both Bowser and Luigi's expense, and is a common reaction of the time to the idea that Luigi was doing... anything. And yet somehow, Bowser's outrage that after every one of his failures in this game, his final lost Crystal Star being to Luigi manages to still be funny. I suspect it's underflow. If the entire reason for the Luigi mixup from Pennington was to set up this joke, I would forgive it.
It helps that Bowser incorrectly assumes Mario and Luigi are co-operating. Not in this game, sorry.
Kammy wonders how they could possibly be left to dry the whole adventure, while Bowser throws another temper tantrum. I guess they haven't even realised there's an actually scary fellow heading the evil schemes this time. You got damn lucky Grodus never noticed you.
This sounds like something you probably should've researched.
Fortunately for them, things start turning up Bowser.
They get a message in the form of this random Paragoomba. He perches himself on Pennington's head, and Pennington doesn't react.
They're so far behind that Mario already has all seven Crystal Stars.
And Bowser doesn't even know about the Thousand-Year Door. He just thought the Crystal Stars were inherently valuable.
Kammy does know about it. Although perhaps she wasn't aware of the connection to the Crystal Stars. You... I feel like Bowser could've done so much better if he had a better research assistant. Kamek never gives him such spotty information.
Bowser reckons he can go put a stop to it. We'll see about that.
And off they all walk, leaving Pennington unharmed. I doubt they remembered he still existed.
High praise. /s.
With that done, we're back to Mario and the partner, who are cheering about having found the Crystal Stars, but are currently still on the Moon.
...
Hey, if the Bowser intermission ends with a Paragoomba reporting Mario is en route to the Door, it absolutely should come after we get off the Moon.
...Admittedly, I think they're planning as if we don't need to open the Door, but still. Surprisingly directionless.
We'll figure something out once we talk to Frankly.
We can no longer go back to the Factory. For, uh... some reason.
That reason is "we are actually being funnelled to Sublevel 4".
And TEC's room in particular.
TEC's... still on? I guess something had to operate this base.
They've heard a lot about Mario from Peach, directly or otherwise, and it's nice to finally meet the man they've been spoofing emails to.
Also, they don't entirely sound right. A lot of pauses for a character who got killed by being shut down, not stabbed.
Again, this scene is written as if it were TEC's dying words, but filtered through the fantastical element of "TEC being a computer" to obfuscate how dark that would be to put in a kid's game.
They have something important to tell us before they terminate.
And that is an urgent matter indeed.
Thanks to Grodus's shutdown, they are unable to operate at full capacity.
Instead, they're running on... backup power and cached memory? Yeah, uh, once the former runs out, they're not keeping the latter.
...Did we instigate any destructive behaviour fighting Magnus von Grapple 2.0? I don't think we blew up the power room or anything like that, although there was a large explosion.
By accident. I don't think Peach's stories reflect Mario's capacities.
TEC's horror at what Grodus is planning to do with her persists, and they try to impress that onto Mario. Don't worry, TEC, Mario is Head Empty, Save Princess.
They give a more helpful clue- although I don't think anything thus far has told us where the Palace of Shadow is. I suspect TEC doesn't know either and is hoping we do.
...
Pleasedontletthisbeusblowingupthebackuppleasedontletthisbeusblowingupthebackuppleasedontletthisbeusblowingupthebackuppleasedontletthisbeusblowingupthebackup
These instructions feel like they're written as if we were never supposed to use the teleporter room until now. I suspect that was something they were considering at one point.
...That's what we're reacting to now?
...I did not think of that. If TEC is running on backup power, the whole facility can hardly be better run.
...Grodus being forced to off TEC might've been directly responsible for him abandoning the X-Naut Base. He can't use the place without feeding the sentient AI he's fostered.
TEC realises that, if they want to make sure we make it back to Earth, they're going to have to devote all the power they have. Including their own.
And the partner catches on to what's about to go down.
Even Mario's jaw has dropped. TEC, miraculously, survived the encounter with Grodus to assist Mario, and now they're ready to throw it away.
But if Peach can't be saved, they don't consider it worth it.
The blink frame on Mario. He has yet to be informed as to the nature of Peach and TEC's shenanigans.
...
On one hand, I think you've been listening to Grodus berate you too often. On the other hand... yeah. They're the foundation and functionality of the X-Naut Fortress, given sentience because Grodus doesn't understand the idea of subtlety and function matching necessity. Their existence was a mistake that cost Grodus immensely, and while they were nice to have known, it's hardly like we can stick a flash drive in one of their ports and download him for the trip home. I assume they're bigger than two gigabytes.
TEC may move on. But their dream shall live on.
In Peach's heart, if perhaps not in Mario's.
They cut away to this camera pan with a fading-away Peach, which I think is supposed to mirror cinematic language to, but only mostly works in context and I have zero clue how to verbalise.
...I think she'll be glad to hear that.
Koops: ...OK, TEC.
Flurrie: ...We shall, TEC.
Dr. Agon: ...We got it, TEC.
Vivian: ...We understand, TEC.
Bobbery: ...We will, TEC.
Ms. Mowz: ...We understand, TEC.
The other partners have largely just been saying the same things, with slightly different phrasings (turns out Koops, Vivian and Bobbery are the only ones to consistently address Peach by title). I feel like their reactions to this, as minimal as they are, reflect how they feel about the machine.
TEC's final words.
Before system shutdown.
(Weirdly, this screenshot of his shutdown actually has different dimensions to the rest of the game. I'm not sure how that happened, and whether it's on the emulator or the game. I'm sure your TV doesn't actually change shape while this is happening. Unless your TV is the weird one.)
Minor quibble, but this feels like a missed opportunity. We've been calling them "TEC" all game, but TEC is not actually their name. They introduced themselves as "TEC-XX", with TEC being the nickname all the faculty addressed them as when they had reason to do so at all. I feel like a system error message would use the full name, and this would be an excellent opportunity to remind the player of that name, because it sets itself up for an amazing pun (at least in English). Remember, the X-Nauts are pronounced "Cross-Naut".
TEC Double Cross. It's like Grodus was asking for them to go HAL 9000 on him.
...And also get out of here before we get trapped on the Moon. Which would only be frightfully boring, not lethal, but still unpleasant.
...Despite TEC's promise, they haven't actually unlocked just the teleporter door, they've opened the whole facility.
Right, this is where I wanted to be.
With the teleport complete, TEC reveals they were lying, just slightly, about why us leaving the X-Naut Fortress was going to kill them. They fully intended on a cessation of existence after sending us to Earth, no question.
They just planned to set off some explosives and take the whole Fortress with them. The X-Nauts have abandoned the place, and TEC is going to make sure to keep it that way. Sure, Grodus clearly has a plan to go forward, but TEC has made sure that there is no Plan B.
A heroic end to a lovable computer. We salute you.
I would be disappointed, but not entirely surprised, to learn that the reason the Bowser intermission is in the place it is and not "right now" is to make sure that the audience knows Mario made it out of that explosion OK. I mean, TEC was quite clear that was the plan- the part they kept secret was the part where they still had enough power to do stuff after we left- but I can see how they'd be worried kids wouldn't keep up.
...Nope. Genuinely, I'm not sure what sound this is. Maybe the moon explosion?
The X-Naut Fortress is now no longer accessible. Unfortunately, there were three Star Pieces and two unique Badges up there- the game is not prepared to let us go without. There'll be a way back.
On that note, Frankly's trash can now has X-Naut, Elite X-Naut, X-Naut PhD, X-Yux, Mini X-Yux, and Magnus von Grapple 2.0.
The X-Naut Fortress teleport comes out int his locked door here. Well, it's unlocked now, for what it's worth.
As for the character calling to us out of the Deepdown group...
Oh, never mind, it's just Frankly.
Sure did. Come to think of it, we probably should've gone to you before we go down to the door. Good call coming to us.
We, uh, knew this before we went there from Peach. Please tell me you did too.
Unfortunately, we didn't find Peach.
All partners say the same thing, just with a different line in place of "well, yes". Vivian doesn't have any particular differences when it comes to describing Grodus, even though the two have met on screen.
...What occurred to you, Frankly?
...I have several questions.
Goombella: Wh-What? No way! Without the seventh Crystal Star, the doorway shouldn't open, though!
Koops: Um... What? Really?!? I thought the door wouldn't open without the seventh Crystal Star, though!
Flurrie: Are you quite sure? I was under the impression that the door needed all seven Crystal Stars to open...
Dr. Agon: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!? You said that door wouldn't open without the seventh Crystal Star!
Bobbery: Pardon?!? What-what? Dear fellow, you led me to believe the door would open with all SEVEN Crystal Stars.
Ms. Mowz: Ex-CUSE me? Without the seventh Crystal Star, that door should never have opened!
The part of the story the characters question is the fact that Grodus gained access to the door without "the seventh" Crystal Star. Flurrie, Vivian and Bobbery correctly phrase it as him not possessing the seven Crystal Stars, but still vaguely imply the problem is that we haven't taken the seventh one to the door. Which implies that us taking the rest of them has weakened the seal for him. That Magical Map was more trouble than it was worth.
...If you're sure...
That is a very convincing argument for Mario. I'm a little less convinced, but I prefer theories to have a shade more evidence.
Really emphasising that time pressure, aren't we?
Wonky dialogue:
The final tale:
I heard this one from my ol' grampa... It's a legend about one who will come to this town some day in the future. He will come when the sky grows dark again... Clothed in red and blue, the hero will bear seven stars and face the darkness... I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but I see that you wear red and blue. If the hero turned out to be you... Well, I guess that would be a bit much, huh?
You're colour-blind, old man, can't you see my hat is green?
This notification kinda caused something funny to happen.
We have two new emails.
It's not until after looking at these images, much later, that I realised I never did read that Ghost T. email in-game. My completed file still has it unread, hilariously.
___________________
RDM Issue 7
Special Final Issue
___________________
ROGUEPORT TODAY
In a shocking series of events today, local authorities report that Zess T. (age 55) delivered a left hook to the jaw of gadabout Flavio (age 25) late this very afternoon. Our investigation has revealed that the cause of the feisty fisticuffs may have been Zess T.'s anger that a shipment of gourmet ingredients spoiled on the dock because Flavio had held up the dock crew with a marathon two- day tale of high-seas adventure. While Flavio is recovering from temporary memory loss, Zess T. has already been approached by a Glitz Pit talent scout, Don Goombatti. "I think the kid's got spunk. We'll take the world by storm!" said Goombatti.
SHOP REPORTER GO!
This week we have an explosive exclusive on the shop in Fahr Outpost, Northwinds Mart!
It's so cold there that all of the merchandise is frozen to the counter... Just kidding! The smiling shop manager showed us a fascinating variety of goods as the sweet-faced little miss explained, "It's cold out, but I do best to explode inside shop to warm place up, da? So come on in!" This place is big, too, folks, so we haven't even seen all of it yet! Come on down and see it for yourself!
COOKING FOR ROOKIES
This is the final installment of Cooking for Rookies! Just to make sure we leave you with a smile on your face, our last recipe will be for Couple's Cake! Just simmer Spicy Soup for a few minutes, then drop in a Snow Bunny... and presto! Before your very eyes, the mixture will congeal and take the form of a cake! Eat it with someone you love!
EDITOR'S NOTE
This is it, dear readers! The final issue! We here at the RDM office have enjoyed every minute of our hard work to bring you the best news and features! May we meet again... perhaps sooner than you think! (Wink, wink...)
****************************
Published by Rogueport
Restoration Committee
****************************
Rogueport Today: Flavio deserved that entirely. Zess T.'s amazing when she's not mad at us. I can't say for certain who Don Goombatti is supposed to be referencing.
Shop Reporter Go: An unremarkable set for the final one. Not even a double Shop Point sale. Not trying to sell this for future investors, huh.
Cooking for Rookies: A very fitting final recipe, even if the Snow Bunny is left for us to figure out (they did teach us how to make Spicy Soup!), although the writers are forced to try and diagetically explain how this recipe works.
Editor's Note: Once again, their reasoning for shuttering is not elaborated on. However, there's something else here worth mentioning: There's a secret to this email present in all translations except English.
You’ve found it!
FINALE!
The not-quite-over-yet RDM Special Secret Corner!!
SECRET NEWS CORNER!
We’ve just received breaking info on Chuck Quizmo (age 44)! While he didn't get to appear this time... it’s been confirmed that he had in fact been working on a new quiz show titled "Who’s the Honest One!?"!! However, it appears that the show spent so long in the planning stages, it never actually came to fruition in the end. We’ll be waiting eagerly for whatever Quizmo comes up with next!
SECRET COOKING CORNER
If you cook a Point Swap with another item, you’ll be able to switch that item’s effect. If you try it with a lousy item... Hehe! You’ll have to see for yourself!
And now, this is definitely goodbye! Thank you for sticking with us ‘til the very end! Will we meet again? ...Maybe!
(Translation from TCRF, base Japanese)
By scrolling past the "Published by RRC" notice, you can find some additional notices in the final RDM email. Why are they missing from the English version? No idea. Maybe they just didn't realise it was there? Doubt it, though- internally, it had to be obvious this was intentional.
Secret News Corner: Chuck Quizmo is absent from TTYD, although there are unused assets for his stage. It turns out the in-universe explanation is that he didn't get his act together in time. Better luck next time, worm. On an unrelated note, the French version (the one I have taken screenshots of) lists Vanna T. instead, although I can't read French.
Secret Cooking Corner: So this is where they share the Point Swap cooking advice? No concrete examples, but I think in this case, that might just be for the best. Although that depends on your definition of "lousy", I guess.
Oooo hooo hooo hooo! Long time, no spook! It is I, the spirit from the Excess Express!
I bet you're wondering how an ethereal being like myself can type an e-mail... Well, I actually possessed the train conductor to do it. Ooo hoo hoo hoo hoo! Don't worry, though! He's doing just fine!
I think maybe I'll do my new diary like this... E-mail's convenient, you know? And leaving a record of my afterlife is cool, in a spiritual sense, I mean...
So... good luck with your quest. It's not yet time for you to come over to my side. But whenever you do, I'll welcome you. Ooo hoo hoo hoo hoo! Farewell!
Ghost T., from Room 4
(Having opened the completed file to grab this image.)
I wouldn't know if you want to leave a record of your afterlife if you're still scared of people reading your diary. Email is a lot harder to get rid of.
...Also, Ghost T. likes going over the line, doesn't he?
Anyway, with the X-Naut Fortress's Star Pieces in hand, we can now clean out Dazzle's shop.
Although he hasn't entirely noticed he now no longer has purpose as an NPC. Well, he has noticed he can't sell any more Badges, but less that this means he can't get any more Star Pieces.
Apparently, I really do need to buy a Jammin' Jelly to make up for the ones in the overworld. I think you do get enough Ultra Shrooms that you can Point Swap one into a Jammin', but I'm not 100% sure that's a better use of your resources. Just feels kinda ridiculous, doesn't it?
...Yay?
16. The Magical Map
The heroes knew that the seal might not last forever... And they sought to make the Crystal Stars available to one who might need them... So, before going to their individual dooms, they made a map to all the stars. And to prevent an evil force from misusing this map... They placed it in a box that could only be opened by the pure of heart.
This is... certainly a story. I'm not entirely sure what to make of it, really- they could've done something interesting with this had they allowed the Magical Map and its box to have other origins. We still have yet to reach the part of the plot where we have seen the moving parts involved, but as far as plans go, this one seems to have ultimately backfired on the heroes. Perhaps they just didn't think far enough ahead thanks to the curses?
You mean people love the exposition-heavy one? News to me.
Super Luigi Volume 4
- The Shards of Truth -
Footsore and weary, Luigi finally found the Rapturous Ruins beyond Grimble Forest. Within them, time and space were lost in nothingness.
Within the pale emptiness, Luigi found a young sleeping boy. Our hero called out gently, and the youth woke from his long, long slumber.
"My name is Cranberry, and I've waited for you for the last thousand years." The boy went on to tell Luigi the secret truths of an ancient land.
He said that the Marvelous Compass had been created by the ancient Luff people, who used its powers of foretelling to rule the world.
But the Luff empire was then cursed by the compass, and fell into ruin... The survivors dismantled the compass and hid its pieces.
Cranberry was the last of the ancient race. His role was to wait until one with a noble heart came to take the burden of the future.
None but Luigi could have shouldered this weight. The boy gave him the compass piece, and said, "Fear the curse, but find your Eclair."
Luigi accepted the part, the boy's words burned into his brain. His duty fulfilled, the boy began to fade into the blank nothingness...
As he faded from sight, a look of joy lit Cranberry's face. As Luigi gaped, both boy and ruins vanished, leaving our hero in a dark wood.
With six of the parts united, the compass now pointed to the final part... To the quest's end... To Hatesong Tower. And then, her voice spoke...
Princess Eclair's voice begged for help from the void, pleading for a hero. Luigi's heart burst aflame...
To Be Continued
Luigi's version of events says that the Luffs were evil before being cursed, while the book doesn't assign any moral values to the pre-curse Luffs. Just thought I'd point that out. At any rate, the book has now caught up with Luigi's adventures.
Just in time for a new one!
...He started later and finished sooner. Impressive.
Well, nothing like that to get the curiosity piqued.
Well, like I said, it's a really long story, and this part is just crazy, but here goes...
Hatesong Tower stands atop a jagged, unclimbable cliff beyond the northernmost sea. The winds whistle down the cliff, howling like banshees singing songs of hate... People say it's pretty much the scariest place in the world. And I had to go there.
Blocking out the bone-chilling howls, I somehow managed to reach the tower's door. I was terrified, but thoughts of Princess Eclair warmed my heart and gave me power. All of my companions felt the same way. They were with me to the bitter end.
The door to the tower swung slowly open to reveal an inconceivable darkness... I tried to call out Princess Eclair's name, but I couldn't even breathe because... As I strained my eyes in the darkness, I saw the most terrifying beast of all! The Chestnut King himself appeared before me! He was monstrous and drooling! Puddles of toxic goo dripped from his mouth, melting the very ground at our feet! I couldn't stop shaking, but I gritted my teeth and faced the evil beast dead-on!
I dodged the king's fangs, jumped onto his chest, and gave him a hammer-whack! My swing split the air and crashed dead-center onto the Chestnut King's skull! Hope powered me up, Bro! I was going toe-to-toe with the king, and I was loving it! "This is it!" I thought! I can win this! I'll risk it all on my next blow! I gripped my hammer tight and waited for my moment... The tension stung me...
SHHHHHWHAAAAACK!
The ocean winds raged against the tower windows! With that sound as my call to battle, I advanced with no mercy in my heart! And then...
And then...................................................
..................................................................
..................................................................
..................................................................
I beat him. I defeated the Chestnut King.
An even worse beast came next, a nightmare thing... but I beat it, too.
...........................
I rescued Princess Eclair. It was all over.
And then I came back to Rogueport and had a light lunch. And that's about it.
..........................
Huh? You think there's more to the story than that? Not at all. That's it. That's the whole story of the quest for Princess Eclair. The End. But my adventures won't end here, Bro... They'll never end...
...That really lives up to the excitement, doesn't it? There is clearly something here Luigi isn't telling us, and this time it's more obvious than ever.
Funnily, Mario fell asleep exactly here. To be fair, would you finish your story if your brother was not interested?
As a cool little detail, Bobbery won't fall asleep to Luigi's stories, a trait unique to himself.
You're right, I don't. Blooey, would you mind illuminating what happened?
What is it with you and not avoiding being deep-fried? We should rename you the Browned Torpedo!
...OK, yup, something suspicious is going on here. Fortunately, Luigi has a book deal. We'll find out that ending one way or another.
Yes, that is a healthy thing to put on a billboard. Surely nothing can go wrong here-
We should feel incredibly fortunate about the lack of panicking and screaming.
There's the last Jammin' Jelly recipe. Not quite as ridiculously unnecessary, because the FP cap is so much higher, but... still ridiculously unnecessary.
Also bought out Charlieton. For... what it's worth.
...You mean I'm already done with the recipes? Shame about a general lack of high-HP ones outside the Ultra Shrooms, but glad that's done with.
Doing some Paper Races for Piantas, and Koopie Koo wound up in this one. I'm not sure if she's the only one, but she's certainly the only one I spotted.
I wound up grinding my way all the way up to the Money Money Badge. Gotta round out the collection!
Three new Troubles to go through. Wow, we're zipping through the pre-chapter stuff this time! I guess with no new field moves and no plot developments to unpack, it's just the usual suspects.
I've lost my voice because of this stupid, stuffy cold, YA-BOOMSKIE! I want someone to bring me some Honey Candy, YA-POW! Great for the throat, I hear. I think you can make it by combining Cake Mix and Honey Syrup, YA-CHOW! I'll be waiting next to the snowman in Fahr Outpost, YA-BLAMMO!
Gob, like Shimi, is nice enough to specify what he wants before he asks for it to be delivered. I wish this was more common, instead of being reserved for cases where it made sense to say what you needed beforehand (in Gob's case, because he's not telling us aloud), although in a lot of cases, it's really a question of Flags.
...I've taken off Spike Shield, now was not the time to learn that.
This is not going to get better...
The Mayor of Fahr Outpost has permanently moved to this screen. I guess, with Goombella's Tattles being based on room, they kinda had to do it this way, but it's worth mentioning.
...I am... highly concerned you chose to say that about a giant cannon. It's not going to have actual ammo in it this time, right?
General White just seems enthused to shoot things.
"Well, you see, I was drawn with these physical characteristics because of the limitations of 1980s arcade hardware..."
We landed in one piece. Well, OK, not sure about Vivian, but overall, any landing we can walk away from was a happy landing.
I'd suggest moving, but I imagine it's not an easy walk out of town considering all the Frost Piranhas.
It would've been funny to see the map with no snow on it when the camera cut back to the mayor. As it is, we'll have to take him at his word.
Well, I guess that's a fair compromise between "blowing up is lethal" and "blowing up is harmless". Not that Bobbery seems entirely concerned.
Gob is this guy, over by the snowman.
I don't think you're kicked out of this conversation if you say the wrong things, but if you do, I imagine these are the right ones.
At any rate, we know what to do, so give him the throat lozenge it is.
I've heard of losing your voice when your throat is caught up, but I always thought it slightly less literal. Still bad enough that Gob couldn't orally share his request, but good enough he could at least squeak out one word.
...Exploding too much caused it?That's not a drawback I would expect from blowing up. You'd think it'd be the hearing that goes first.
Buying the materials raw, this doesn't cover the cost of a Honey Candy- it's 18 coins for a Cake Mix and 3 for a Honey Syrup if you buy on Keelhaul Key. Pianta Parlor being gambling means you might pay with less than that on a technical sense, but still.
It's one of the troubles we've got.
Mario usually isn't the sort of hero to care about collateral damage. The games will try to avoid showing it explicitly, but if you see something and go "...that killed a bunch of people, didn't it?", the game isn't going to interrogate the possibility or ethics.
I can't decide whether this is a hilarious riff on that tendency or a hilarious subversion. It's definitely hilarious, although I'm certain the one Bob-omb that got hurt thinks otherwise. It was either Gob or that guy in the last map in the bottom-left corner.
No, and moist air that is cold enough to condense into ice crystals instead of water. The Moon has no water.
...It's not exactly unsolved science.
This seems to be the game's way of brushing aside the fact that they have Russian Bob-ombs sworn to secrecy to those of other races having a secret gigantic cannon that they shoot wherever they please. The Mario franchise would never. TTYD probably would.
...Nods politely.
There's a teleporter there now- oh wait, never mind, it's shut down.
Oh come off it, I don't have time for this...
Time for a delete button.
If you fill Supernova to max, there's a sixteenth line that draws itself vertically in front of Mario. I think this is just for flavour- otherwise, the number of lines matches the amount of damage. Not that you get them at any other rate than 3 lines = 1 filled bar of mashing A.
Again, I could've killed them with four bars. This is both quicker and way more cathartic.
I must meet my darling Luigi. Come to the fountain in Poshley Heights for details.
This Trouble... if you had any doubts about Luigi's treatment in this game, let this one set them to rest.
You may have noticed I've switched the Emblem I'm wearing. This is for a reason.
She wants to meet Luigi, and thankfully, we are his brother and can ask that of him.
Well, someone's a fan. I wonder what's going on with the other guy in the Luigi Fan Club.
She is aware of the L Emblem Badge, and she highly disapproves of pretenders.
...Ah ha ha... ha... ha...
Yeah. This is where we're going with this.
(To my knowledge, you can't actually ask Luigi to come in, regardless of his answer.)
Mario is... well, as a silent protagonist, so we're not getting much insight into his views on his brother, but his visual reactions are... choices.
...That's not a reason to get excited no matter whether it's the truth.
Especially if your response is to press on with the social activities rather than backing off like a sensible person.
Yay, a terrible recipe item that doesn't even fill up my log! I don't feel rewarded at all for this one. At least the Meteor Meal and Couple's Cake from the Chapter 5 Troubles... theoretically had inherent value. I'm never using this item for its intended purpose this late.
Of all times, Luigi chooses now to wander over. Where was he back before I put on the L Emblem Badge? Hatesong Tower, of course.
This is going to go on for a while. These "Luigi is a sap" jokes stopped being funny around the time we became more aware of the damage abuse environments can cause. I see a lot of old comments about how this was funny at the time, but man... it is so hard to agree today.
Luigi is horrified, and asks his big brother to bail him out.
I don't think "Mario is a jerk" has ever applied quite so much as it does here. Really throwing your little bro to the wolves?
Not that Toadia is entirely free of blame here, but still, bro. Not even going to wave your hands about and off-screen explain your side of the story?
I wish. I'd like to wake up from it too.
Ideally, you would have been told the truth.
MARIO WHAT THE HELL
Like, I hope you're giving Luigi a massive apology for this afterward, but that doesn't really feel like the vibes I'm getting from this particular exchange.
...
I think I'm more disturbed by this one than by the one that was Mario being an accessory to some kind of first-degree felony. At least Mario had plausible deniability in that one.
I need you to take something to General White. Please come get it with all speed. Meet me in Poshley Heights.
Anyway, to punish Mario for his horrible mistreatment of his brother, we move on to the other Trouble that is a massive continuation of a horrible joke this game is making at your expense.
I don't think there's a business up there anymore. If the X-Nauts ever counted as such.
Right, all we gotta do is make another trip up to Fahr Outpost.
It's a short trip, if never going to get less dangerous.
...Or less annoying. It's not supposed to be hard to Flutter over to that ledge with Twilight Town and Fahr Outpost on it, but I fall down often. I kinda wish that ledge was easier to access after Chapter 4.
...General White?
Not again! Yeah, you thought the General White fetch-quest was funny the first time? No? Well, let's see if the second time proves any more so.
We're getting sent more specific places this time.
...At least the Toads are nice.
First stop is Podley, as one might expect.
...Since he was a baby or since when he first started drinking? Because those offer two vastly different perspectives of the man...
Either an excellent or a terrible quality to have in a tavern keeper.
Including the ability to wander around listlessly while I am looking for him. Is this a problem for anyone else?
This is just the sidequest of reminding the player General White is not long out from having drowned his sorrows, isn't it? Well, neither of these places are bars...
...Someone's on a coffee rush. Where's he need to be all of a sudden?
I'd be a little sarcastic on this point, but hey, Jolene may be keeping up the disguise partially to drive up tourism to the Glitz Pit. More money in her pocket, eventually.
Although this is going to get awkward to explain. At best.
Oh, now come on, how is that supposed to be helpful? Do I need to go to Goldbob or Fahr?
Goldbob, it turns out.
General White's habit of chasing his own tail gets worse and worse the further this schadenfreude goes on.
Was this always an issue? He seemed happy to be firing the cannon when it was operational and stuck to his solitude when it shut down.
...
Are we going to go through this part of the joke again too?
Yes. Yes we are.
I'm not going to waste your time again. I'm not TTYD.
But seriously, guys. What even is the punchline? Did you think this was inherently fun, and thought it would be rewarding to do on its own merits?
...You, er... did know why we're here- that's why you came here after talking to Goldbob.
...When the sidequest's own logic falls in on itself through the dialogue, I can't help but feel like the developer laughing at its inclusion is having more than his fair share of fun. He might be the only person laughing here.
Not that he tells us what it is. After all that trouble...
And now we have to go all the way back to Poshley Heights.
I think that line is just so he can continue standing on this map.
...Stampede is affected by Power Plus, good to know.
And more BP to the ever-expanding stock. Eventually I'll run out of need for this. Maybe. Imagine how much I'd invest in it if 64 let me.
Goldbob does not tell us what was in the package, either.
64 coins does not buy enough syrup to drown out that memory.
All the Troubles are done, all the housekeeping is done... we're done with the between-chapter stuff in record time!
So don't you get on my back for being late.
(Frankly doesn't get his own Tattle while standing in this room.)
...I thought you said they were already in?
I really don't feel like we should be doing this.
But for the final Crystal Star, we get a big fancy animation of all the Stars coming out of our pocket and into their places in the shining light.
Including teleporting down five metres. No, this isn't me talking bad special effects, I mean they literally, diagetically, move to those high positions by floating, and then disappear into sparkles and reappear from sparkles slightly lower in the sky. One at a time. Somebody is showing off.
The door lights up with the colours of the Crystal Stars, in the order we acquired them.
And then starts pulsing and letting out an ominous roar.
...Yyyyyeah.
I'm not thinking this was a good idea.
So, thanks to TEC, we know that's the name of the place behind the Door, but I still don't think that name has ever appeared outside them? So where's Frankly coming off just dropping it casually?
...Well, I guess there's nothing to it.
Into the depths we plunder.
...Are you OK, Frankly? I mean, seeing the other side of this door would be the culmination of your life's work...
No? Oh well. More for me, then.
Next time: We visit a palace cold and dreary.
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