Off we go with a feather in our cap.
...Things are not going great on the way back.
All right, so I think this is the time I use our new Star Power from Doopliss.
You can see where I'm coming from about how awkward this is to control? I'm not sure how it's better on control stick, though, I don't think arrow keys would make it that bad. The cursor never stops drawing, though.
They are now very dead.
Although I wish I had the chance to get some Star Power off those Toads.
Right, Flavio, this is why we brought you here. Do your thing.
Of course he does. His thing is delegation, after all.
Goombella: Hey, Mario... You think maybe that thing Flavio's got might go into the eyehole here?
Koops: Ummm... Mario? Maybe that thing Flavio has goes into the space in the eye here...
Flurrie: Mario, darling... Perhaps that gem of Flavio's might fit into the space in the eye!
Dr. Agon: Hey, Gonzales! Doesn't Flavio have a gem that might fit in that eyehole?
Vivian: Uh, Mario... You don't suppose Flavio's gem might go in the space in the eye, do you?
Ms. Mowz: Mario, dearie... I think that Flavio's gem might be just the thing for that eyehole...
Check the skull again, and you get this to point you in the direction of why we needed to lug Flavio along.
Flavio wiles away his time singing the boom-bassa-boom shanty instead of anything helpful.
Something that seems kinda weird, now that I'm looking closely, is that here, and only here, the song is "boom-bossa-boom", rather than the standard boom-bassa-boom: It's even boom-bassa-boom in the opening bar. A typo is not surprising- a typo on a gameplay clue (although an admittedly unessential part of the song) and a regular enough nugget of lore that it's going to be called back to after we're done using it for plot is strange. There's also a second instance of "boom-bossa-boom", and it's the dialogue where you talk to Flavio again to refresh yourself on the song in this room.
This is the puzzle where this song is actually gameplay relevant. Normally, when the answer to a gameplay puzzle is hidden in a narrative song a character knows, you only ever hear the song directly next to the puzzle- never sooner nor later. Flavio, by contrast, has not only sung the song before, but done so often enough that the in-universe audience is sick of it. Not so much the player is, though, and we're never going to hear it again- although as mentioned, we are going to hear the song referenced again.
We can, of course, give him the funny answers.
What?? You want me to give you the Chuckola Cola? Ha! I must scoff at you! You ask too much, little man! ...Except... WAIT! I already gave that to you, you rat!
What? You want me to lend you coins, you poor pauper? I must scoff at you! What on earth do you need coins for on a deserted island, anyway? Hmmm? Think before you speak, you foolish thing! THINK!
Same reason Keelhaul Galleria and the Inn do?
But yeah, we need your shiny thing that looks like it's going to appear in our inventory at some point.
This hasn't really been addressed thus far, but it is indeed a family heirloom of Flavio's- although the fact it has gameplay value in Keelhaul Key suggests the reasoning may be as colonial as his wig.
...You're paying me? First I've heard of it.
Once again, Flavio gives us a key item that punches back in the description.
Skull captain casts his gaze! Red jewel shines and plays! ♪
3 times Red 'Stache lands on his end! ♪
Blue Stache's belly 4 times is whacked ♪
So let's hear those fireworks go BOOM! ♪
At the boom-bassa-boom festivaaaal! ♪
We have done a good.
Although we have destroyed Flavio's ill-gotten heirloom. Admittedly, no chance of returning it to its rightful owner, but still, I'm not too torn up over it.
The game goes out of its way to show the Skull Gem is perfectly fine after the fact. This may be, in part, to keep Flavio cordial with us, but really, it's a massive clue that the story isn't done with this object. Besides, that door has to be rebuilt at some point in-universe?
His job lending us his family heirloom over, Flavio has decided he has personally contributed enough to this expedition, and is ready to go back to the camp and continue to sit on a deck chair and sip exotic drinks.
And somehow, you think you deserve a large share of it. To be fair, he has lost his boat.
Now, I could go into the dungeon, but for the sake of the blog, I'll check back in with camp first.
Turns out there is actually dialogue for it.
Four-Eyes is doing a very bad job of not being suspicious. He may as well start singing "don't be suspicious".
Mario doesn't usually make it his business to fight pirates, but there's a first time for everything.
Everyone doing their best to make him scary. Not that he hasn't earned that reputation.
Bobbery! Yer finally goin' into the cave?!? Well, I guess you could rattle ol' Cortez's bones wif that blast o' yours, eh?
He also has dialogue with Bobbery. Neat.
Flavio is not in camp. I didn't check the other map, but the textdump doesn't have what would be his dialogue, as far as I can tell. He's just... not here?
Ah, Mario! That treasure... It is certainly in that cave somewhere! Flavio feels it! So hop to it, you wonderful little man, and find me the goods with all speed!
He does have one. I think you need to enter it first, maybe.
Time has passed: although by the way the dating system works (yes, I know, I am judging the game for this again), I think this is the next day.
This is the entrance to Pirate's Grotto. There's gotta be something good in there. Considering how hard it is to get in, there sure as heck BETTER be!
Welcome to Pirate's Grotto, a tricky dungeon with a very atmosphere theme.
Accompanied by ghostly "oohing"
That's a Lava Bubble. It's a flame spirit. Max HP is 6, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. Its HP and Attack power may be different from an Ember's, but otherwise it's the same. Since it is made of fire, try not to touch it, 'cause it'll burn you. Apparently it's vulnerable to explosions and ice attacks. Oh, and if you get hit by a flame attack, you might catch fire, so guard well.
Lava Bubble has appeared alongside Ember here in the Grotto. It has 2 less HP, but one more Atk- it does 4 damage with its Tackle, 3 with its fireball, and no fire breath hitting both party members.
Because of the lower HP, they're chumps for Ice Power and Bobbery.
...You ever feel seasick on a shipwrecked boat.
Shine Sprite on top of it, though.
Exact KO.
...I wish.
Star Piece over here.
And over here we have a spike run to worry about.
The intended strat is to use Vivian. I think Paper Mode can do the trick, but it's so much more precise. Also, there's so much lag on coming out of Veil that it kinda costs you a few cycles.
There's a Bill Blaster at the end of this corridor. Someone really wants to keep us out! You know what? Who cares! CAN'T STOP US, SUCKERS! Let's get going, Mario.
This is the level with Bullet Bill- as opposed to 64, where these guys were Chapter 1. Goombella's Tattle for this room is such a mood. Goombella is amazing when she's in her semi-insane college girl mood.
That's a Bullet Bill. It attacks after being shot from a Bill Blaster. Max HP is 2, Attack is 4, Defense is 1. Take care of it quickly, or it'll totally whale into you, mosh-pit style! Use those Action Commands and take it out!
Bullet Bill is exactly the way you remember it, complete with not dropping coins.
...Or Star Points, as the case may be.
This is going to cut it close.
Especially when I'm taking First Strikes.
That's a Bill Blaster. It's the cannon that shoots Bullet Bills. Max HP is 5, Defense is 2. It doesn't attack directly, but shoots Bullet Bills at you. I know the Bullet Bills are annoying, but take out the Bill Blaster first, trust me. Arrgh! How many of those things will it shoot at us?!? YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!
Only 2 Def, huh? Bill Blaster has learned two new tricks compared to 64: Not only can they spit Bullet Bills at angles, spawning them at "flying" height, but they can also spit two in one turn- I usually see this when they're alone, at least.
Super Hammer isn't as helpful as it sounds.
Hello extra Bullets.
Woo hoo! I think I'll need this extra healing.
...Did I use Gulp to deal with the Bullet Bills? That was a choice.
There's that free healing, just in case. I think I was at low health because of all the failing the field stuff.
Dr. Agon across the gap here.
Anyone else feel like we've interrupted our traversal through Pirate's Grotto to play Pirate's Cove? Oh well, sure it can't be that hard to find.
That's a Bulky Bob-omb. I think it's like other Bob-ombs... but it's huge! Max HP is 6, Attack is 2, Defense is 1. It's weird... It never attacks, but once its fuse is lit, it'll blow up on its own eventually. I don't mind it taking itself out of the battle, but that explosion hurts us, too! Oh, and when it powers up, that Attack power is 8, so watch out! Fire and explosions light its fuse, so I guess setting it off early is one strategy... You can run, too, but if you're gonna fight, beat it before it goes off!
Bulky Bob-omb is a very... interesting enemy. It has five actions it can do, and it will always perform them in the same order: It lights its fuse, boosts its Defence by 3, boosts its Atk by 3, boosts its Atk by 3 again, and then explodes for 2 damage + whatever boosts it has (if you inflict a status ailment that prevents it from acting, it will run out the timer on its boosts). However, if you attack them with Fiery Jinx, Bomb, or Bomb Squad, they explode immediately. Both attacks are good ways of getting through that bulk, too... Note that Shade Fist is not fire element, so it can hurt Bulkies, but they will explode if they take Burn damage.
Bulky Bob-ombs are only in TTYD. Strangely, "bigger Bob-ombs" first appear in Super Mario Strikers... which came out the year after this game. Bigger Bob-ombs got more common in the new tens, although they still only have a handful of appearances to their name. Apparently, when they want big booms, they prefer the "more dakka" approach.
They really are just this dangling sword over your head. They're at their most dangerous when they have friends.
I think I'll need this.
It's totally weird to walk around down here... I mean, PIRATES lived here... The scourge of the seas... I wonder where their souls are wandering now...
...Huh. Never really thought about it. ...Meh.
Shine Sprite over this, and this is not the intended way to collect it.
That's a Parabuzzy. A Buzzy Beetle with wings. Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is 4. I guess those stats are just like a Buzzy. Fire and explosions seem to have no effect, so don't bother, OK? If you flip it over, its Defense goes down to 0, so jump on it first.
Before I can show off the correct way, I have to deal with these Parabuzzies first. They're basically just Paratroopas, but for Buzzy Beetles. The original basis for this enemy is the Parabeetle from Super Mario Bros. 3 (and... seemingly only that game before now), where they were red and mostly used as platforms. "Parabuzzy" is only used to describe flying Buzzy Beetles in the RPGs.
Anyway, with him no longer harassing me, I can show there's a hidden coin block you're supposed to stand on to hammer the Shine Sprite. Ms. Mowz will detect it, so might as well.
Throwing Bobbery to solve a puzzle in action.
...Shrug.
Star Panel in here. Can't leave without it!
Three Bulkies, here, this is a fight that can go south quickly if you let it. Also note that, if you set one on fire, the explosion counts as a fiery attack that explodes everyone else. Thankfully, it won't hurt unless they've charged up, but...
Thanks, Koops.
...Funny that we're getting our fourth Curse here. I mean, it makes sense, ultimately, but the game hasn't gotten around to giving us the Tube Mode Pianta Parlor game yet.
We can jump this fine, but it always feels tighter than it looks.
This is a storage area... Looks like the pirates left tons of stuff here. The switch in front there lifts and lowers cargo. Maybe Bobbery could alter the timing of when the switch gets activated.
This room has a key to a door we need to open, but... wait, Goombella, we're expected to use Bobbery to solve this problem?
There's no question. Koops is just so much easier, because you can hold X to keep him in place, move over to the platform, and then let go. I... honestly have no idea how exactly you would solve this puzzle with Bobbery?
Dangit, Koops, if I fell down, you were supposed to grab the key before following me!
Much better.
Now, you want to jump over onto this box before it goes back up.
Shine Sprite up here, once the positions have reset.
And don't forget the Star Piece in the barrel.
Behind the locked door, we get a reprise of that one room from Chapter 4: Everyone dive us at once!
Hey, Parabuzzies take Zap Tap, while Buzzies don't!
I don't... think that's enough for a oneshot? Then again, they have less Def than you'd think, considering how hard it feels to shift them.
Oh joy, these ones have a friend.
Not my problem.
There's a Star Panel here. This one always confuses me, but this room is perfectly flat, and that weird oval shape in front is just the outline of the door. I always thought the middle of the room was at the bottom of a short decline.
Shine Sprite over the ocean right outside the door.
And then a spike wall we need to roll under. I think you can Vivian it, but it goes in and out so much faster that you won't do it fast.
Shine Sprite with a Hidden Coin Block underneath. That means we've found more than three in here- we're definitely finding an Ultra Stone soon.
Jumping around on barrels and sinking ship fragments... This is pretty gnarly. So, let's take it easy and not get too careless, OK?
I may have underestimated the demands of the platforming of this area.
Free Maple Syrup from a drop.
The combat is going just fine, which is good, because all these sources of field damage is going to make it hard to take an enemy phase.
Fortunately, we can blow these up. It doesn't look obvious, but it's not like we have options in how to walk around.
And then we get the second Bullet Bill room.
...That makes things so much better.
Because we've got more to come. Those top Bullet Bills have a surprising range, and it's possible to jump into them. Especially since there's a decline before these first ones.
...Why did I think my screenshots of Pirate's Grotto were enough...
...Case in point. I've been healed at some point, so this sucks less than it might've.
Shoutouts to shooting two Bullet Bills in the air.
Thankfully, they're not considered "resistant to fire". I usually think of them as such, but this is because of the main series, where they are.
Unlike Veil, which gives you all three buttons at once, Fiery Jinx gives you each button one at a time and the timing works thusly.
Also I flubbed the timing. Pierces Defence, but I still need to do damage.
...Yep, this formation is full nightmare scenario.
Hahaha not touching that.
We're inside Pirate's Grotto. There's a sunken ship here. Something good inside? 'Cause that's how it always is in video games...right? ♥
Well, there better be something good, because I'm not sure how we're jumping back up that gap.
Also, I notice my Earth Tremor in the Parabuzzy room has been recovered. That's some fine work recovering Star Power.
We're inside one of the abandoned ships. There's a black chest here. Now that I mention it... Why do we keep running into these black chests? Weird.
Yep. It's powerup time. I say, holding up this P-Down, D-Up (2 BP) for Mario, matching the Partner copy we have already from Chapter 2. P-Up D-Down for either character is indeed still yet to come.
Considering it's found in a den of pirates, I'm sure this chest has been through some stuff. The poor guy inside must be terrified out of his mind.
Don't worry, the guy who grabbed you also grabbed a Crystal Star.
Mario pipes up.
We've been through this three times already, Mario knows the routine, he knows what's going to happen, he doesn't want to have to sit here and go through the song and dance a fourth time.
Which annoys the Chest Demon immensely, because he has spent a thousand years practicing for a dramatic reveal, and Mario has wrecked it. He's just wrecked it.
Mario is going to find a key, go to the trouble of opening the chest, get cursed by the angriest little piece of scrap paper, and he is going to use that curse to increase his movement options. Why doesn't the chest open and he gets given a "You got Boat Mode" like he does with Super Boots?
I love how Mario nods at this assertion. This is such a perfect little culmination of everything that makes Paper Mario distinct from Mario, even if that's not the kind of fellow Mario is.
Poor guy.
Although I do kinda question spending a thousand years to prank a well-meaing soul. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. Except yours has sunk.
Fortunately we don't have to go too far out of our way for it.
Once again, a required fight against the ghosts of Cortez's crew pit us against three Embers. I do kinda wish they had some sort of variety with the ghosts.
This fireball is so annoying- the fact it doubles back on itself before hitting makes it even harder to tell who it plans on hitting.
Even for us, burn damage happens after the enemy turn. Not that we have any real way of curing it anyway.
The key drops straight down in INT. It bounced in JP, and I'm not sure what shenanigans they were worried about in fixing that.
Here you go, good man.
...It hasn't come up yet, but we're actually going to let him go through his whole speech.
Oh no. We have been fooled. What idiots we are.
You lot really need to admit this isn't as clever as you're trying to make it seem.
...So much for that millenium of practice.
..."Fools"? I think this curse is the only one that really alludes to the Partner taking the blast. Despite, you know, the partner not visibly being affected.
One last flashing, but this time I got a transition!
Presumably chanted "Suh-FIR! Suh-FIR!"
Before second-guessing himself on the way. In a way, it's kinda fitting that this one be the Chest Demon that doesn't want to hurt us openly, other than him being the last one.
He covers for himself. Somewhat.
"You'll get all soggy!" Paper boats can float, for a time, but will eventually stop working because they're made of paper. Fortunately, this is not reflected in the game mechanics.
This works more or less identically to Plane Mode initially.
Stand on the platform and press the Y Button, and now you're a boat!
An adorable little sailboat.
...He says that...
He also acknowledges that this is a bit of a situational powerup, and in doing so kinda alludes to something you might have realised: This is the replacement for Sushie's swimming ability! Everybody in TTYD has a similar field move to a partner from 64 except Flurrie, leaving Sushie and Spike in the lurch. Spike was considered pointless, while Sushie was simply retooled into the new traversal mechanic- fitting, giving how situational it is.
Similarly to Sushie, you cannot leave the water without a matching Boat Panel on the other side.
Since this is technically the only returning field move from 64, this gets an extra meaning of sorts.
How nice of us to let the Chest Demon have his fun. Even if he clearly needed to practice that speech for another few centuries first.
Goombella: So... Is that curse guy actually a good guy or what?
Koops: Ummm... You think that guy in the chest is actually on our side?
Flurrie: Hmm... I daresay that cursing chest may actually be on our side...
Dr. Agon: Y'know... That curse dude ain't half bad.
Vivian: Uh... Is that curse person actually on our side?
Ms. Mowz: Mmmm... Is he actually on our side, do you think?
Goombella, Dr. Agon and Bobbery only consider the Chest Demon "good", while everyone else suggests that the Chest Demon is instead "on our side". These are two distinct arguments, and I think the writers wanted to go for the former. Whether or not they meet the definition of the latter is unrelated to what we saw from them, although it is true. As such, I don't think either one has a stronger basis for being intended, although the fact that the three partners most players are going to have out generally (the hint partner, the fast movement partner and the new partner with an advantage over the Embers) are the ones to say "good" points me moreso in that direction.
With Boat Mode, we can sail out of the room and begin the long trek to the other Boat Panel we can use.
The one all the way at the top of the waterfall. To get here, we had to cross through the Bullet Bill x2 room, the tough platforming segment, the spikes in the walls, the corner room with the Parabuzzies, the tall room, and then we get here. Fortunately, no enemies respawned, although the actually hard stuff is still there. Was it a little too much to ask for a shortcut to our next destination?
Although with that said, our next desitnation will actually be a side objective.
Secret behind the falls! Ms. Mowz will detect this.
Defend Plus P (5 BP) will increase the Partner defence, although this won't block any damage that has a piercing effect- the prevalence of such attacks presumably being why this Badge saw a BP cost deduction.
In the Japanese version, this chest instead contained a Damage Dodge P. The Official Nintendo Player's Guide was not informed, although it seems like the change has made it such that the "free" Damage Dodges and Defend Pluses Mario and the Partner get match in number.
Anyway, back to the waterfall, we can fall off without any concerns about being completely obliterated by the numerous problems one might have with dropping off a waterfall as a paper boat.
Our destination is far to the west.
Way back in the first room with the spikes, one could see this gate handle as they went along, and this is what we need to turn the winch we saw earlier. Falling off the waterfall is the only way to get here, and consiering the distance between the two Boat Panels, I wonder why there wasn't a shorter cut from the initial shipwreck room to this point.
Especially since, with the lack of any other Boat Panels we can use at the bottom of the waterfall, we must now walk all the way back to the winch.
I appreciate the structure of dungeon design, borrowed from Zelda-alikes, but when this dungeon involves a lot of long hallways for Bullet Bills and platforming puzzles that don't go away once you clear them once, and that bites back harder than it has elsewhere in the game. Also, after Chapter 4 and the pre-Pirates-Grotto stuff, it's easier to judge it harsher.
Anyway, now we've opened the winch, we can Boat Mode through here. To what purpose...
Goombella: There's that totally spooky voice again... Those ghosts must be nearby...
Koops: Yikes! That scary voice again... I bet those ghosts are n-n-n-nearby...
Flurrie: Oh, mercy... That awful voice is caterwauling again... Those ghosts must be near...
Dr. Agon: There's that voice again... The ghosts must be near us somewhere...
Vivian: By Chowderton's cheeks! That dreadful voice again... Those ghosts must be near...
Ms. Mowz: There's that terrible voice again... I'd say those ghosts are probably nearby...
Presumably, encountering the ghosts again.
By the way, we had to fall off the waterfall again to get a Boat Mode here. It's the only accessible Boat Panel in the dungeon.
This time, we head east.
And cross through these raging tides to make it to the other side. The fact this room takes place outdoors suggests we're passing through the same area that the massive bridge where we found Ice Power and the Coconut was- so that must mean we're near the starting area of Keelhaul Key by now.
If you get hit, you're just knocked to the start of the room, no field damage.
Entering the room makes somebody notice us.
Somehow. One of them can, but clearly many of the others cannot.
I'm on my way.
Although I think they were expecting more direct help than what we can provide solely in Boat Mode.
We're inside Pirate's Grotto. Lots of sunken ships floating around here, huh? Hey, by the way, Mario... You can cancel Boat Mode or Plane Mode by pressing the B Button. I'm like, the tip MASTER! That's a super-convenient one, too, so don't forget!
This is the first spot we can Tattle, and Goombella gives a highly relevant gameplay tip for this room... but she does kinda make an error. Cancel Boat Mode by pressing B? This is neither possible nor desirable, and I have no idea why you'd think otherwise. What point in development was "press B to instantly drown" a feature?
The solution involves going into the background, crossing the ship all the way to the far left, going back into the foreground, and then Plane Panelling to these pillars. You press B to cancel a Plane Mode flight and drop down, you don't have to land on them directly.
Back here are the switches to spawn a way off for the Toads.
...Come to think of it, I'm not sure why you need to spawn both. What's stopping us from just spawning the one on the right and jumping over?
The Toads all jump to safety as fast as they can. Considering how many of them there are.
Oh hey, Frankie and Francesca are here too. That's a reveal.
Now, I think the idea of forcing you to save the Toads is that you then Plane Mode back to this part to jump across, since the heaving ship is hard to jump back on. But it is... possible to jump on, and the Toads do not open the next door.
It was nothing. It was less than nothing.
I suspect that this is the game being a kid's game and removing the implication that these Toads were killed by Cortez, although considering Cortez is implied to have been active for a long time, I don't think we can reasonably assume that every expedition to Keelhaul Key that met a grisly end had no casualties. As a matter of fact, the fact that we see the Toads here, alive and awaiting a likely cruel end at the hands of starvation and being crushed by the weight of their companions makes their survival seem darker than if they had simply all drowned when their ships were sunk. Although less dark than if we found their skeletons in camp, having murdered each other in the tropical equivalent to cabin fever after surviving the same way we did, unable to enter Pirate's Grotto at all.
And, of course, we get a line from the named characters, too.
..."Forgave" you? Is this the same thing as the thing we saw, or was this a separate conversation? While I'm sure what we saw was the manly pride way of giving you his blessing, I don't think it was forgiveness at all.
They weren't sailing to Keelhaul Key as a vacation destination, but they got too close.
...Which only raises the casualty count of Cortez exponentially, if this is something shipping routing hasn't solved.
...No it doesn't. Although he is nearby.
Don't worry. If Don Pianta asked that, I would be searching where you were supposed to be going, and not finding you blown off course into the death island.
Francesca reasserts her belief Cortez is dead ahead, although this time, I feel confident in her reasoning for this belief. Probably because it's not connected to any other thoughts.
Don't worry. I'll knock him over at least four times for this.
That's Francesca the Pianta. She shipwrecked here even before we did. She doesn't seem too worried. I guess she doesn't care as long as she has Frankie.
That's Frankie, Francesca's boyfriend. He shipwrecked here even before we did. Looks like Francesca's got him totally wrapped around her little finger, as always.
Francesca and Frankie dialogue. Now that her role as a helpful NPC is over, back to being a honeymooning couple.
It's called origami, king.
Fortunately, we the player do have a way out, but you try loading fifty-odd Toads and two Piantas onto Boat Mode.
Salt and possibly the stench of the dead. Depends how good Cortez's corpse disposal is.
This is the deepest part of Pirate's Grotto. One part of this area's covered in fog. Seems like maybe all of the ships that capsized near here ended up in this cavern. I wonder if Cortez's ship was the first to end up down in these caverns...
Cortez's room is said to contain fog, but no part of the room we visit has enough fog to be noticeable. I guess it's slightly foggier in this screenshot, but I was expecting more, considering Goombella's assertion.
...Four-Eyes, what are you doing here?
...How? With what? When? While we were backtracking on top of ourselves?
How delightfully reassuring.
This entire conversation seems to just be an excuse to have Four-Eyes continue to be suspicious, reminding the player that he is a problem and we're going to have to reckon with him if we want our shiny new Crystal Star. It makes no sense that he's here, and it's going to make even less sense when Four-Eyes next shows up, because he'll be back in the camp area rather than still being in the Grotto. If the game wanted to include this, they probably should've considered jump-cutting to a different map and showing Four-Eyes plotting back out near-ish camp. It would have been about as jarring.
He doesn't even have a new enough Tattle to be worth having in this room.
Anyway, that's Cortez dead ahead, time to take a peek at what we've got. More and more power, and clearly I've got a plan for some items. Either that or I just didn't have anything better for 1 BP.
Prepare to meet a furious plumber.
...That is a lot of Coins. Mario wishing he could throw Cappy around and scoop them all up around now.
All guarded by the king of the ghosts.
...Who has clearly been moaning more than he thought he would today.
Time to meet Cortez.
...And he is very much not in the business of ghostly wails.
You can say that, but I've got 50 Toads outside who would claim otherwise.
Well, you see, we're just after the Cry-
Never mind, we're doing things the hard way. Cracks knuckles.
Cortez's battle theme. You can tell it's going for that swashbuckling undead pirate tone, but it just... this feels like the perfect boss theme to point to and say TTYD's soundtrack is lackluster.
At least you can't say the boss is as limp as his tune.
That's Cortez! He's the dreaded pirate spirit who haunts the island! Max HP is 20, Attack is 4, and Defense is 1. His HP may seem low, but he's a spirit, so even when his HP hits 0, he'll come back. Plus, he has tons of different attacks. He's as tough and scary as he looks. I'd say just keep damaging him, and sooner or later he'll go down for good! Let's give this tormented spirit some eternal rest!
Cortez, scourge of the seven seas, has multiple different attacks, depending on which of his weapons he's swinging, but you can expect 4 damage from each. This seems to be a timing issue more than a risk issue. He also apparently has a combo attack, dealing four blows at 2 damage a strike.
Not very often I get a +4. I think Cortez is going down like a chump.
His attacks for hitting the front and the rear partner are distinct strokes.
So yeah. You were wondering about how effectively one can take down Cortez?
+4 Atk might have been overkill. That pile of bones he's coming out of will serve as a good Hammer target, if you need it.
Cortez starts to look as though he might keel over in defeat...
Only for the curtain to draw on form 2. Goombella has no unique Tattles for each form, but in this state, Cortez adds "Charge to raise Atk by 4 on the next hit" to his list of tricks.
I figured I'd be nice and Appeal for some Star Power this time. Cortez's gimmick of having his HP bar split into chunks stops you mulching him in one blow, but leaves him defenceless if you just do an unrelenting assault and oneshot each phase.
He went for the headbutt this time.
Right, Bobbery, you can have a turn at the next phase.
...Wait, why?
Cortez falls to the ground...
Only for his weapons to jump into view. Bobbery ain't so good here!
Cortez only has one attack in this phase- a bite to deal four damage. Each weapon does 2 damage, and all five can attack in a single turn. The sword does 2x2 damage, the hook can inflict Poison, the sabre actually does 3 damage a hit, and the rapier can hit both characters for 2 damage.
...And they all combine to make Mario's Jump so much more awkward to perform.
Fortunately, they have a crippling weakness. If you attack them, with Art Attack or Fiery Jinx, they drop to the ground and revive in a few turns.
Blow them away with Gale Force, and they're gone for good. Well, except the Rapier, I'm not sure why that stuck around. I think it's just random chance.
There were worse weapons.
Mario's lost Power Lift by now, of course.
The weapons can actually move around, although I think this is mostly cosmetic. I'm not sure what attacks the Rapier is avoiding by hovering at this new height.
Let's just aim for the head and... dangit.
I think you can damage your way past this, but I'm happy not succeeding.
I don't like the way the camera has panned.
Cortez drains the right-hand side of your audience and heals 1 HP for each soul he grabs. Unless you're really bad at the game, he probably fully heals from this. And also we lost half our Star Power restore. It's surprising, how this is the first boss since Hooktail to mess with the Audience. I remember it being more prominent.
Knocked over the Rapier. You can see it lying on the ground behind that gold pile cardboard cutout.
Again, so close...
...Thanks, I guess? Why do I still have you?
And there's the Rapier back on its feet.
(Also, shoutouts to the people in the audience coming back.)
Not that it could stop us.
That was the last of Cortez's phases. South of 80 HP total, but the segmentation hurt him more than it helped.
At least I have a level.
And, having been beaten four times, Cortez is finally ready to stop guarding his treasure.
So long, baby skull. You will be missed.
Yeah, did you really think he'd go down that easily? Probably, honestly, this is a game where you regularly fight undead skeletons and ghosts. Why's this guy get to come back to haunt us?
We get the point, even if Cortez is completely unable to articulate exactly what it is. Cortez will fight to keep his treasure no matter what, and only that.
Not that he entirely considers it to be the best use of his afterlife.
Mario looks at this and asks "hey, maybe we can come to an agreement, here?"
Cortez is willing to consider our argument, although he is befuddled about how we've got this far without actually wanting the thing we're fighting for.
You see, the thing we want is just the one jewel in your collection. Presumably, every valuable stone in his treasure hoard has a story behind him collecting it, and this legacy may be guarded just as jealously as monetary value.
Considering a) how he got it and b) how vividly it sparkles compared to the real gems in his collection (ie not at all), it is no surprise Cortez is amazed at our request.
Cortez decides that, you know what, his collection is just as complete without the Sapphire Star. He can afford to part with it with no compromises on his pride or immortality, and it's not even like he enjoyed possessing it. It's not really a win-win- Cortez has still clearly lost here- but Cortez will gladly accept that if it means not having to keep fighting Mario- and probably continuing to lose badly.
The Sapphire Star is now ours! Thanks very much, Cortez!
Sweet Feast is an upgraded Sweet Treat- more icons are added total, big icons appear that heal 3 HP/FP if hit, and you can hold the control stick back instead of repeatedly flicking it. In exchange, it guzzles an incredibly large 5 SP, meaning you can't spam it twice in one turn at even full capacity, and in general any strategy that requires using it more than once requires a matching way to acquire a great amount of Star Power, and that can fluctuate depending on what types of warm bodies are filling your seats.
Cortez, scourge of the seas... Mario soundly defeated this fearful spirit and claimed the Crystal Star. Perhaps the peaceful citizens of the world no longer need fear Cortez and his fell ship... The only problem remaining is how Mario will escape this isolated island... And could there be another problem still, hiding beneath our hero's nose?
Well, we have what we want. But we're far from done- Flavio and the treasure expedition won't be happy when we tell them we found the treasure, have no intention of claiming the treasure and they're doomed to failure if they want to take a crack at it themselves. We still haven't seen what Four-Eyes is going to try and do to get the Sapphire Star- and presumably the Magical Map and all the other Stars we've collected thus far. And we're still stuck on this island with no plans to get back home.
But hey, we got the Crystal Star, everything is all good. Right?
Next time: Oh come on, not again.
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