For some reason, I feel like the name "Keelhaul Key" was chosen for the English version to connect to this pun. Keep in mind that, if you've never see the word "Quay" before, you might not realise it's a homophone of "Key". Other languages go with variations of "The Pirate of the Tropical Island".
Chapter 5's story will be punctuated by journal entries from Flavio, complete with the return of "do you people know what calendars are for?" that is Mushroom Kingdom dating.
...Also, Flavio is really detached from reality.
This makes it sound more like he's talking about the people who aren't coming- the people who think we're all nutcases for going to an island that has killed everyone who ever went.
And yes, time is going to pass.
The perfect time for this to happen after we find out we have a time limit on opening the Door, of course.
...Oh dear. Flavio's usually wrong, and...
You just had to say it.
And then we jump into the characters. When we get told we're supposed to land tomorrow morning.
Flavio's been singing his song as we sail along. Apparently, this is something he does often, but they don't waste our time a ton with it. We get the picture that no one likes to listen to Flavio.
No, we don't see it. The camera is pointed in the opposite direction.
Such at this moment, where he just ploughs on ahead with his most-likely fictional stories about his exploits in the firm belief that he has a captive, or at least willing, audience.
...Yes, but even then I smiled! For I knew I'd prevail! I had the beast licked... For I am Flavio! He was giant, massive... A huge drink of man-eater! But even now, you know... I could take him! Yes! ...Errrrrrrrrr. Where was I? Oh, yes, yes.
The story doesn't even go anywhere.
As a reminder, none of these people know Flavio before the game. They're whatever schmoes would put treasure over their lives. They've only been on one voyage with him and they're already sick of him.
Nothing for it but smiling and nodding.
The ship is actually stopping. It's really difficult to explain how, but you can totally notice it thorugh sound and the way the ship sways.
We've got some problems, you ponce.
Flavio promptly delegates the task of caring.
And so Pa-Patch clambers into action to answer his question.
He jumps from one side of the crow's nest to the other. No frames of animation whatsoever- he's on one side, then he's on the other.
And then he is visited by a fiery spirit. Thankfully his fuse is covered, right?
Goombella is right there, man.
And of course, it's not there when he looks back.
Look, if you want his attention, you don't want to disappear for no good reason.
This time, the flame doesn't disappear when Pa-Patch turns.
Pa-Patch does like seven laps of the crow's nest before clambering down. The fire spirit doesn't react at all.
Fair enough reaction.
Does this count as somebody?
Welp. We've run face first into the thing that killed off everyone else who came here. With no plan for getting out.
We are the greatest treasure hunters.
For once, Flavio's immense capacity for denial is incredibly handy. Not that it helps us all, but positive thoughts.
...Can we get it moving? I thought we were mostly running on wind here. I don't see any oarsmen, at any rate.
...That is a lot of ghosts. At this point, surely this is not just Cortez's pirate crew, but all of the unfortunate souls Cortez has collected over the centuries?
And then Flavio is introduced to one personally.
Ultimately, it turns out the answer is no, but I do have to wonder who this one is. First mate?
Can you blame him, really?
With all the running around everyone is doing, I don't think we have an idea on who is trying to restore order. Bobbery is almost certainly one, and it's definitely not our partner (the textdump would have six copies of the dialogue even if it was identical).
To where?
So the boss shows his true colours. Ah, who am I kidding, we always knew he had those colours.
And our ship sinks into the ocean for no discernible reason. That may just be more fitting. Just a pile of perfectly intact ships, standing precariously on top of one another at the bottom of the ocean in ways that defy the laws of physics. Not even rotten.
We're still in Month X, Day X[], so either we haven't been out for long or Flavio has no way to judge time. ...Dangit, I tried to figure out the Mario calendar system.
We don't have a way off nor a way to fend off Cortez, but we are at our destination! That's progress, right?
They're not dead- we haven't found the bodies. We've just misplaced them.
Yeah, uh... that's a pretty apt reaction.
Let's brush over that tragic "we're going to die a horrible death" act, this is not something Mario can ever tackle with the appropriate gravitas.
We have enough of a basis of... things to work with. Society can exist until we find something to break down over. We have an alarming number of options.
Shoutouts to that "trying to figure out Mushroom Kingdom calendar dating" again, but the journal started on XO, and now we've moved from X to O in the "tens" position of the day counter, we get the impression that we've done a full loop of the digits in the "ones" position... except this would also imply O comes before X. This is the equivalent to the dates going "13, 12, 14, 15, 16, 21", and more evidence I am putting way more thought into this than the writers.
Flavio's priceless boat has been cut down for shelter. Nothing like hardship to throw out how worthless your wealth is, after all. I bet he was insistent it wasn't used for firewood. Wouldn't burn well anyway.
We will definitely be seeing them somewhere.
...They do show off the dates crossing over I guess this journal is at least proof that this timeskip has taken place over three days, and the calendar system isn't hiding any in the cracks.
Or, you know... anything would be nice.
Welcome to Keelhaul Key. Population, us.
This is Keelhaul Key. The sun's brutal, as you'd expect on a southern isle. Blue skies... White clouds... I've always wanted to take an island vacation. Don't you just wanna yell, "Hey, stupid ocean! Look at me! I'm on vacation!"
Unflinchingly positive. I know she has to say this too when we can leave freely, but...
Star Panel up here. Still gotta gather those.
This is also the home of Whacka. I kinda suspect he's here as a last resort to make sure you can handle Keelhaul Key. Although if you're bad enough at the game to not have a stockpile of items to lean on, I'm not sure eight Whacka's Bumps are going to carry you to the end of the chapter.
That's a rare Whacka. I don't think you see many of his kind anymore, nope. If you whack a Whacka, they drop a Whacka Bump. Those are supposed to be delicious. They fetch a high price in gourmet auctions, too. Yup, super-precious delicacies. Still, whacking a defenseless creature to get one... You'd never do that, right, Mario?
Whacka Bumps totally sell for more in Westside Goods compared to any other shop in the game... but they ultimately sell for even more in the one place we'll visit richer than Westside. Because of course the rich are all over cruelty to endangered species.
...Of course the first thing we see as soon as we step into home base is a fight scene.
I always catch the best blink frames. I didn't think cabin fever (or its tropical equivalent) would strike quite so quickly.
Then again, with Flavio at the helm, it's more of a miracle we haven't drowned him sooner.
I love it when a character responds to a pompous "did you just call me X?" with a contemptuous "X X X X X!".
When I first saw this line at a young-ish age, I didn't quite understand what kind of Mario flavour this line was supposed to impart- I thought "Hammers" was some kind of yard game, like "Darts". On closer inspection, and with wider context of the sorts of characters Flavio is drawing from, it's more obvious that Flavio is challenging Pa-Patch to the Mario equivalent of a duel. Even then, few duellists would announce their intentions by stating the weapon they intend to use instead of just "duel!"
I feel like even ignoring the respective power levels of these two people as characters, Pa-Patch has the advantage of being a Bob-omb and just blowing up when he feels like he's losing.
They storm off in the same direction, and despite Flavio's claim that the duel is to be at dawn, I feel like we're supposed to interpret this as them going somewhere to have their duel now.
On being reminded that there are problems outside the camp for us to worry about, the two promptly forget their difference to cower in fear behind us.
Some of Cortez's cronies have come to check up on how we're doing.
Shoutouts to the singlet and boxers on a flagpole over there.
Mario's all angry and ready to challenge the ghosts... until Flavio orders him to, at which point he goes "wait, you're ordering me around?"
Not that we have much choice.
That's an Ember. Sort of a pale-blue flame spirit. Kind of spooky. Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. Of course, since this thing is a flame, touching it will hurt. Didn't Mama teach you that? Looks like it's susceptible to ice or explosive attacks, though, so that's something. If you get hit by a flame attack, you'll catch fire, so try to guard well.
Ember reappears from Paper Mario 64, and the reason for being named after (and the classic Podoboo design being remade to resemble) St. Elmo's flame becomes a lot more clear. They can hit the front character with a melee attack at 3 Atk, spit a fireball at either character for 2 Atk, or spit out a stream of fire for 2 Atk on both characters. The fireball attacks pierce defence and inflict Burn.
With 8 HP and a lack of Partners that can lend a hand, we'll need every advantage we can get.
Oh for crying out loud...
At least I'm dodging.
Although their tackle is doing Zap Tap.
Koops is the only party member we have that can deal damage to Ember with their basic attack. I think Gulp might be the only other thing a party member can do that helps. So yeah, bring Koops.
And hope he hits the things.
Here's the wreath of fire, somehow shooting right past Mario.
Also shoutouts to Luigi in the audience.
That's more like it.
Fortunately, our plan for surviving this island is "throw Mario at the problem".
Unfortunately, we're Mario.
Flavio suggests we figure out what the heck is going on. A good plan, if we knew what, exactly, we were looking for other than "more ghosts".
...I'll give you the fact when the ghosts were attacking, but really, we can't just let you steamroll over us forever.
Besides, the "No way, pal" option not only gets us another creative sailor joke, but it helps build up a later moment, too.
...Well, I could argue it, but I can tell I'm going to lose it. If only because you are too stubborn to lose an argument.
Fair and square: a democracy. Where half the people have no hands to raise.
Everyone else agrees we should go. To Mario's surprise. And somehow, only his. I suspect this is because of the general lack of a real parsing of the fact we are The Mario among the shipwrecked crew- to them, we're a competent but otherwise normal guy.
We are not given a second choice in the matter. We must go looking around the island eventually.
That is my boy! I knew you would go forth with boldness! We count upon you!
The only dialogue you get if you say yes immediately. I wasn't expecting the no option to be so much more involved.
We can wade in this water, and there's a Star Piece in for us.
Pa-Patch continues his streak of being a little bit of a freeloader and telling us "sounds hard, good luck". Not that he can be entirely blamed.
That's Pa-Patch the Bob-omb. He's a salty old sailor, and a totally solid deckhand. I heard he built all these shanties by himself, too! ...Still, he's afraid of ghosts.
...He built this place? I take it back, he's cool in my book again.
Everyone's somewhat miserable about their chances.
Except Flavio. That gormless grin never leaves his face, doesn't it?
That's the entrepreneur, Flavio. He calls himself the leader of this group. He's a funny enough guy... but he mostly loafs around and makes folks do his work. Not much of a leader, huh? ...But WHAT a dresser!
How much of our fresh water goes to cleaning this guy's threads?
The Keelhaul Galleria inventory. This is indeed the cheapest you can buy Super Shrooms, Honey Syrups, Fire Flowers and Fright Masks. Sleepy Sheep are cheaper in Rogueport, while Ice Storms are entirely here for utility. These are the items they expect you to rely on, and outside Fire Flower (which is probably here for flavour), they're not bad. Not sure why it's a Honey Syrup and not a Maple, though.
Anyway, there's one more thing about the Keelhaul Galleria I prepared for.
As the hottest place we will visit in the story, Keelhaul will purchase frozen goods for higher prices than other stores, so I saved the frozen goods I cooked beforehand to be sold here. Ultimately, I only made an extra 10 coins compared to selling them in Rogueport, but I had the spare inventory and no real plans to use these as healing items.
The Inn over here functions normally, of course.
Complete with charging us for using it. Sure, they need all the support they can get, but financially? I guess we are treasure hunters...
One last Star Piece before we leave.
And another one in the first bush just outside.
The Green Fuzzies have made their proper appearance at last, after their cameo in the Glitz Pit. Leeching for 3 HP and copying themselves as usual, but still being pretty chunky sources of EXP.
When we're not mulching them immediately.
The freebie Head Rattle (1 BP) came immediately, I see. I'm sure it has its uses. I don't understand where, but...
Also a Courage Shell, I suppose...
Can't forget the Flower Fuzzies, too. All you have to watch out for from them is their want to steal your FP, but since we're winning with Jump attacks, we can hit 6 as easily as we hit 5.
That's a Putrid Piranha. It's a poisonous Piranha Plant. That color is totally sickly... Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. It bites, AND it attacks with super-rank poison breath. Breath mint, table four! If you get poisoned, your HP will slowly go down, so, y'know, try not to.
These guys, though, might be a little more tricky. Putrid Piranha has been changed from the Yoshi's Island design to a recolour of the classic one, with this brightly-spotted version appearing only in Paper Mario... and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, when Piranha Plant uses its poison move. They can attack with a bite for 3 Atk, and use a poisonous breath to hit both party members for 2 Atk (piercing) that inflicts the Poison status.
Funnily enough, poisonous Piranha Plants wouldn't appear in the main series until Poison Piranha Plants from Super Mario Odyssey. Then again, I suppose Mario has little use for poisonous Piranha Plants when the ones that breathe fire do just fine.
...Yay?
I am not good at blocking this attack.
Oh yeah, I still have this from Chapter 4. It'll wear off at some point, let's just let it continue to-
...Especially when it buffs Star Points.
Mini Mr. Mini in a bush! Yay?
We're in the jungle on Keelhaul Key. It's complex... Switchback paths and stuff... I think there's an invisible block here somewhere, so why don't you look for it?
Hidden block here, to reveal a Hidden Coin Block above it. It's pretty obvious there's one here, and that's because we'll need it to be tangible to be able to progress.
And yes, that Putrid Piranha can fly right over and bite under your feet so you do a First Strike. It is rude and I fall for it every time.
Duplicating doesn't restore HP this time around, so those guys are easy pickings.
Especially if I do this! Whee!
This Flower Fuzzy is a little weird. I believe he spawns on the top ledge of this area, and sometimes he can jump off the cliff down at you. If he does so, he will promptly find a corner and start bouncing in it repeatedly- presumably he wants to go back to his spawnplate, but he cannot bounce high enough. I remember hearing that something about Fuzzy behaviour has been changed from the Japanese and International versions, and that he doesn't do this weird corner stuff in JP, although I do not recall hearing anything resembling concrete explanations on why this would happen, only that it does.
A free First Strike will not go-
...Dangit.
Zap Tap doesn't do so well if the Partner is in the lead, huh? This also showcases that the Fuzzy attack pierces Koops's point of Defence- the prevalence of such attacks undermines his gimmick, and after we get a bunch of Partners who start with 15 HP, his bulk issues become more of an issue.
Star Piece behind this branch.
We'll have to Flutter Jump across this.
And then there's a harder one- Flutter Jumping to that Shine Sprite. I am still unsure of where you want to start from.
At least I nailed it.
Thunder Rage in a bush. This'll be useful in the next fight.
It'll be a bit before then, though.
The three missing sailors have appeared! Bobbery, Four-Eyes, and the Toad who lost his brother.
Bobbery takes one look between us and the fiery ghosts assaulting him and decides that we should take the other two to safety while he holds the ghosts off.
We may need to reassess this judgement on whether or not he's ready to die.
However, Bobbery brooks no argument, throwing both sailors our way.
Before taking a beating from the flame spirits.
Four-Eyes prevents us from lending a hand.
Yeah... yeah, that wasn't cowardice. That was Four-Eyes. The Toad runs off after this.
Four-Eyes notices this, and decides he'd better head back to camp as well.
But not before jumping back into frame to deliver one additional message.
To us.
The game is fully aware that the Four-Eyes disguise is not particularly convincing, and X-Naut Black is goofy enough to acknowledge that fact. The game offers multiple clues that the X-Nauts will be sticking their nose into this chapter at some point, all of which will fly over our heroes' heads until the worst possible moment. Although to be quite honest, I'm not entirely sure the disguise itself is that bad to the heroes. Sure, we know this guy is an X-Naut, but that's because we saw X-Naut One say it. Mario didn't. If it wasn't for this joke, the only thing they'd have to go off is his similarity to Crump.
Koops: "You out there in front of the TV"? Um... Is that guy OK, you think?
Flurrie: "You out there in front of the TV"? I think perhaps that fellow has sunstroke.
Dr. Agon: "You out there in front of the TV"? Did this guy go nuts, or what?
Vivian: "You out there in front of the TV"? Uh, does that make sense to anyone here?
Ms. Mowz: "You out there in front of the TV"? I think that man might have the sea madness.
I appreciate Four-Eyes taking the time to stop and tell the player "yeah, I'm secretly a bad guy, what are you going to do about it?", although making the partner react is just a cheap joke that makes it harder for Four-Eyes's betrayal to come off as surprising. It also doesn't help that Four-Eyes is saying "don't tell Mario, or else" and not, say, "but it's not like you can tell Mario, buh huh huh!"- it only makes Four-Eyes feel like less of a threat, since he can't exactly do anything to us, being a fictional character and all. Although the fact that Mario games aren't allowed to have villains with the teeth the X-Nauts wish they had might be a factor here.
Wow, nice rope bridge, huh? I don't think I'll be looking down while we cross, though. Being able to see the water through the slats makes my belly go bleeeeeeeeah! Whoa. Hang on. I'm a little woozy. I might faint...
Goombella is bad with heights, good to know.
The bridge isn't even that high, from our perspective. This is for gameplay reasons, but still. This may also be evidence of world-scaling.
If you enter the pipe at the end of this path, you can find a tree with a Coconut in the background. The Coconut is used in two recipes, is required to complete a later plot trigger, and only appears in this tree. Make sure you grab one.
Interestingly, it cooks into a Tasty Tonic, being the first item that cooks into one on its own. It is not the first recipe that cooks into Tasty Tonic, though- that would be Point Swap + Sleepy Sheep. Yes, it sells for three coins in the game's first shop, but still.
Down here, we can see an Ice Power (1 BP) Badge under the bridge. The low height seems made so we can see it there. How do we get it?
Fall through the bridge. We're made of paper. I always like to fall through the slits, but I'm not sure if you have to or if the whole bridge is rendered intangible by Paper Mode- same as the grate in West Rogueport.
Ice Power has received a massive buff in potency from 64. In addition to losing a point in BP cost, it combines its +2 Atk on fire enemies and immunity to contact damage with the effects of Fire Shield, reducing all fire-element attacks by 1 damage. (I don't think this makes us immune to Burn.)
Like Spike Shield, there is no Ice Power P, so this is just for Mario.
I can't find the shot of me grabbing it, but there's a Shine Sprite behind that palm tree leaf by Mario's hand.
Bobbery! We're coming, just hold on!
These two fireballs are circling this tree, and we have free reign to challenge them to a match.
Of course I did this again.
Whee! Ice Power only works on the first guy, though.
Mario oneshots fireballs now that he can jump on them!
Huh, Ice Power also seems to have blocked this guy, despite the tackle not technically being fire-elemented. I guess it was close enough for Ice Power.
With them gone, we get no money... but we do have to go knock Bobbery down.
This may not have been the greatest plan.
Oof. Bobbery's not sounding so hot there.
I think his use of the word "bloke" is intended to be as cool-quirky as everything else he throws out, but as an Australian, I am used to "bloke" just being a standard synonym of "guy". Not the target audience of this writing, I bet.
Mario outright gasps, but I think this isn't the biggest of surprises. Bobbery was an experienced, rugged sailor when he retired due to dead wife (and we can probably assume she wasn't at the peak of her life if a simple illness did her in, and there is no indication her health was otherwise delicate- I don't think Bobbery would've married a woman he was worried about dying when he left), and he's been retired for twenty years on top of that. He's a cool old man, but he's still old, and being beaten up by fire ghosts is not a habit you want to get into at that age if you're an explosive. Especially on your first voyage.
This is another Bobbery appearance of Sadness and Happiness.
Bobbery has one last request for us, and unlike a certain tavernkeep, I think we ought to keep this one. Chuckola Cola is a plot item found in Superstar Saga, where it was a carbonated beverage popular with the Beanish (and apparently not allowed on airplanes). Its purpose was to cure Queen Bean of an unusual ailment, but otherwise just seems to be a beverage to be a beverage- and also it's funny that they are brewed by telling jokes while it is bubbling. Still, to see a cute nod to Superstar Saga is nice.
Although this is the point where you might start raising an eyebrow- if this is supposed to tie back to Scarlette, a soda is not likely to keep that long. There was that one sample of Chuckola Cola that was brewed for a thousand years, but a) that turned evil and attacked us and b) I doubt it's sold commercially for Bobbery to possess.
Sure enough, in the Japanese version, this was a Vintage Red wine- another victim of the localisers' then-prevalent attitude of stamping out all mentions of alcohol. Other languages seem to lean towards alcoholic beverages rather than Superstar Saga references.
He brought it with him, although I'm not sure when he saw the flotsam. He was lost the whole time.
You got it... Admiral.
That's Admiral Bobbery. He came with us on the ship, don't you remember? He washed ashore with the rest of us... but he seems hurt. You think he's doing OK?
Bit of weird reaction, considering the tone. We can't talk to him until he says he's dying.
Spite Pouch in a bush. Yay? I think this is the only freebie, but it's still a bad item. Barely usable in recipes.
And a Star Piece behind this rock.
Here are the red 'stache and blue 'stache statues. Hey, kinda like you and Luigi! The smaller one's like you, and the taller one's like Luigi. Are they... looking at us?
Over in front of us, we can see two brothers, Red Stache and Blue Stache. Any resemblance to a sea shanty you may or may not have stuck in your head is purely coincidental.
As evidenced by the fact they do not react to landing on your end or whacking their belly.
Now, we begin the return of Chapter 4's worst quality: backtracking! Here is Dr. Agon unable to jump up a small ledge.
And yes, of course the enemies regenerate, why did you ask? We don't even have new circumstances to justify fighting.
Although another level in BP doesn't go amiss. Eat your heart out, 64 Mario!
After saving them, Four-Eyes and the nervous Toad appear in camp.
That's the timid Toad sailor. He came looking for his brother, who was lost at sea, and now he is, too...
Not that they have much to say. Goombella doesn't get new Tattles for Four-Eyes, continuing to sorta recognise him before dismissing her instincts.
Meanwhile, Pa-Patch is worried about old Bobbery. He's such a nice character, in spite of his start.
Why wouldn't I be?
...I'd ask if no one told you Bobbery stayed behind, but he may have been told and ignored it because he is Flavio.
The Toad pipes up as if this is new information to Flavio.
Way ahead of you.
(I think we could've done this before finding him in the tree. Why would you backtrack that to yourself, though?)
Since we know what's up with him, we can pipe up immediately.
...Flavio, are we going to be doing this song and dance?
Filthy hoarder. I guess finders keepers, but...
Yes. Also it's his.
Fortunately, Flavio has no argument to deny an old man his last request.
Although that doesn't mean he's not going to be an obstinate little prick about it. He'd have an argument, but I'm not entirely sure wine or soda is good as a survival ration.
If you wanted us to gather rations, all you had to do was ask.
There is only one valid option for Flavio.
Although I'm sure other things should be allowed to work. Come on, man, you're on a deserted island, you can't be picky.
This is your clue if you give (and lose) an incorrect item. In the Japanese version, it was possible to find a second recipe item on Keelhaul Key by this point- the international version makes it so this ingredient doesn't spawn until you beat the chapter, which removes the possibility of getting a false flag on this clue.
The answer, of course, is the Coconut. You did pick one up, right?
You could've taken the Zess Deluxe, if I was willing to blow that much cash on it...
Even the game is taking a potshot at Flavio's attempted theft. In the Japanese version, this was a red beverage, and the English translators turned it purple- I think actual Chuckola Cola tends to vary depending on where and when you're looking at it (from the art perspective, not in-universe). The European languages still use the purple bottle, even if the drink is alcoholic.
...He's on his deathbed. He'll savour it however he pleases.
That's still a pretty chunk of Star Points, that's going good.
Although I wish Mario could oneshot Putrids.
...Thanks, stage drop?
Well, he's definitely wafting it.
At least he enjoyed it...
...
(One more Sadness and Happiness for the road)
Farewell... Admiral Bobbery.
And Bobbery falls into a deep stupor. Here lies a great bomb...
...A great breathing bomb.
Yup. That man is sleeping.
Koops: Hey, ummm... Mario? Do you think maybe Bobbery's just sleeping really heavily? You know what? He is! And I was so depressed! Whack him and wake him up!
Flurrie: I say... Mario, dear? I can't help but think that Bobbery may just be sleeping. Yes, I am quite sure of it! And I worried so! Give him a rude awakening, will you?
Dr. Agon: Hey! Gonzales! I think maybe Bobbery's just sleeping! Yeah! He IS! And here I was, getting all choked up! Give him a wake-up whack!
Vivian: Uh... Mario? I think... I really think Bobbery's just sleeping, after all that. Yeah, I'm sure of it, actually! And I was so sad for him! Whack him awake, will you?
Ms. Mowz: Mmmmm... Mario, sweetie? I believe Bobbery may just be sleeping... Yes, in fact, I'm positive. And after all that worrying... Smack him awake, sweetie!
This is a gameplay clue, but I'm not entirely impressed with how quickly even Koops and Vivian were to jump to "that was a nasty thing he did, smack him with your hammer!" for the crime of not dying when he said he would.
With a bonk on the head, Bobbery gets back to his feet and seems comparatively lucid.
Koops: The admiral... He's not quite with it yet, I don't think...
Flurrie: Dear Bobbery... He's not quite himself yet, I don't think...
Dr. Agon: Not quite with it yet, huh?
Vivian: Poor Bobbery... He's still pretty shaken up...
Ms. Mowz: Bobbery... He's not quite up to speed, I don't think...
Well, OK, perhaps lucid is the wrong word, but he is at least capable of responding to stimuli.
Bobbery's first reaction on regathering his senses is that he must be dead, and doesn't bat an eye on seeing Mario immediately in the afterlife. Even if we did partake in such shenanigans (what would possess you to think we touch the afterlife in a Mario game of all things, utterly ridiculous), do you think we'd drop everything and go to the afterlife immediately? Do you think we could? I feel like we'd have to be able to circumvent our "being shipwrecked" issue to do it.
Koops: Ummm... Admiral Bobbery, you're still alive, sir!
Flurrie: Dear man, you are still very much in the land of the living!
Dr. Agon: Hey, you're still alive, you nutcase!
Vivian: But, Bobbery, you're not in the afterlife! You're still alive and well!
Ms. Mowz: Such melodrama... You're still alive, dearie.
It's the least crazy explanation, this time.
...Why would we be invited to such a place? Mario isn't much for the nautical side of things.
Treasure to find, getting ourselves off this island, and putting a few dents in Flavio's fancy threads!
...Well, there was no beating around the bush on that matter. Admiral Bobbery shall be our seventh and final party member. Pa-Patch is a little too big for the job, but I feel like there was enough going for him that they could've given us him and let Bobbery die. Although I get the impression you were expecting Bobbery to wind up being the one to join us.
As a fun fact I didn't remember to check, there is actually an inventory where you can get this spoiled for you if you recruited Ms. Mowz- I think it's the overworld "use inventory healing item" screen, that erroneously uses Bobbery assets in Ms. Mowz's position.
Admiral Bobbery's field ability, Bomb, is more or less identical to Bombette's, although it opens with Mario throwing him forward. This has surprising implications, giving it just the slightest bit of extra depth, but he is very much just Bombette 2.
A direct improvement, at least. That throwing trick isn't useful for much, but it can be used.
Now then, let's discuss how Bobbery makes Bombette look like an actual teenage girl in a fight: He forsakes Body Slam entirely and his basic attack is Bomb. It's been nerfed to 4 base damage (Bombette did 5), but with the increased Atk-up options of TTYD partners and him being allowed to do non-contact damage on a basic attack means Bobbery is often the smart strategy in non-boss encounters, while Bombette was almost never useful unless you had the FP to blow stuff up. Bomb Squad, for 3 FP, lets Bobbery set three time bombs at aimed points on the field (this is a difficult thing to aim) that explode for 3 damage after the enemy's second turn. This has one key use in the final boss fight, but otherwise, it's more gimmick than an actual strategy. Depending on the piercing qualities of both attacks.
Bobbery's Appeal also involves him exploding. It turns out this is relevant in gameplay, but he doesn't go kaboom for his first appearance here.
20 HP. Bobbery is a surprisingly hefty HP tank in combat, and we can do worse than replicate his big moment holding off enemies. Also, he won't actually explode if he's burned- he comes back anyway.
Anyway, time to talk about precise mechanics. When you press the X Button, Mario will ready himself to throw Bobbery. When you release the button, Mario will throw him. As such, you can hold the X Button and walk around with Bobbery over your head- although Bobbery will explode in your hands, without damaging you, if his timer elapses. This is almost never useful, but I swear you can get something precise out of it (Mario does move slower while holding Bobbery).
You can early detonate Bobbery, like with Bombette, by pressing the X Button again. Bobbery's timer, and this whole "throwing" mechanic, is short enough you'll never really need it, but it's good for precisely blowing up the crack in the wall.
No further progress can be made in this direction. Back to camp. Again.
Now then, for something that confused me a lot as a kid, and I still don't fully understand (although I do at least know what I'm looking for). Somewhere, in the middle of this room, is something Ms. Mowz assures us is valuable.
Somewhere around... here?
Somewhere. There's a Jamming Jelly in a Hidden Block here, and I'm not sure what the tell for it is. The clue for how to find it recommends a different ability, but hey, Bobbery works too.
Anyway, let's see what Bobbery's deal is with- oh wow, that Badge is layered over the fog effects?
I think I didn't notice that was Last Stand, and not worth caring about. I see an enemy with Item, I gotta attack.
Bomb has the same command as Bombette's Body Slam, and the Stylish is to press A as Bobbery lands after the explosion. If you miss the timing, he slams into the ground and has Xs for eyes briefly.
Eurgh. I've already damaged it.
Bobbery's victory animation. He kinda stands at attention.
Now then, Bomb Squad...
This cursor moves up and down, like the one for Sweet Treat, and when you press A, Bobbery will throw a bomb at the cursor. It will move a little further than where it lands, and timing it right really is tricky business.
As such.
Yes, if you get unwanted hecklers, you blow them up.
Bomb Squad hits!
Twice! Bomb Squad bombs blow out adjacent ones, although I'm not sure if that means anything. Maybe if you spam the move, but why would you spam the move?
(Also, it seems Bomb Squad is not affected by my Power Plus Ps.)
And yes, Bobbery can First Strike things, and keeps the thing from 64 of getting a free fully timed attack.
...Yeah, see, this is why I don't use Bomb Squad. That bomb might actually hit me!
Fortunately, I finished before the bombs went off. Probably a bad sign.
That'll be one to tell the grandkids.
Anyway, as mentioned, Bobbery's Appeal involves exploding.
And that's about to become highly relevant!
Yes, yes, I see you.
Whenever Bobbery goes kaboom, stage fog gets cleaned up. This is so much more convenient that Flurrie's Gale Force. Bomb can still miss if you use it as an attack, but no matter whether it connects, the fog is cleared. I think it might be a bad thing that I rate him highly just for that.
Don't have any grounded enemies or enemies you want to blow up? Bobbery's Appeal also clears fog too.
More Star Points!
And hey, another Ice Storm. Might come in handy in a bit.
I'm not sure and I suspect the answer is the one you don't want to hear.
...OK? That's an... odd reaction.
...You really seem invested in the possibility of a dead Bobbery, huh? It's almost like...
You're scared of what happens if he's on my side.
...It's only on seeing them together here that you get a sense of how much bigger Pa-Patch is than Bobbery. Could you imagine throwing Pa-Patch around?
OK, the scared Toad brother is one thing. Flavio too? I can only assume a writer has this experience and no one else.
We try our hardest not to.
Everything. Inside and outside the camp. You are a wealthy man, nobody cares.
"And by we, I mean you."
You do have to have Bobbery out for this scene to happen at all. I think Bobbery and us are going to get along just fine.
Dr. Agon, give him a real angry jungle beast roar.
Bobbery was a widespread navigator in his time. How many wealthy merchants did he plug his ears and refuse to listen to? I can only assume this saved lives.
Bobbery mentions the clue to Flavio, to make him feel better.
I am told this is a fart joke in some languages. It does explain why it's a small textbox and not part of the whole dialogue.
Now that Pa-Patch is done being a six year old, he agrees with Bobbery's judgement.
Sure you were. You let Pa-Patch make a fart joke before you proclaimed it.
Once more, Flavio will sit on his keister and let Mario do all the heavy lifting.
Where's your sense of romance, thrills and emotion, you coward and cad!
Flavio tries his hardest to weasel out of it...
Before deciding to resort to his old standby for winning arguments: Democracy.
The vote unanimously comes out against him. He forgot to rig the vote before he used it as a bludgeon.
And now it's our weapon.
I love this joke. Shame the second instance is optional, but it still feels satisfying to see everybody ready to throw him to the wolves.
He's a third party member, so he's not going to do anything to help. He's pretty famous among speedrunners- you can sequence your way to Keelhaul Key, put him in your party, and then leave to go put Flavio in every single cutscene in the game. This works with any follower, Flavio was just the first. We'll be using him for his intended purpose.
So, Bobbery... You're off to 'ave a peep at the skull rock wif Captain 'Stache? I'd be right there wif you, but me gram-gram told me once, "No skull rocks!" so... So, you'd better back up Captain 'Stache wifout me, all right, mate?
There's a few new lines of dialogue with the crew. This one's the funniest.
Next time: We're going on a treasure hunt.
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