Bethany Plays: TTYD Post-Chapter 4 Part 2: A Fool's Errand

All right, that's enough dashing Zess T.'s hopes of doing some impressive cooking, let's do some actual cooking!

Starting with the Healthy Salad. 15 FP restore is a pretty meh effect, and the poison cure won't come up much in this game, but this is an important recipe to keep in the back of your mind for one of the ultimate recipes in the game: this is one of the ingredients in one of Zess T.'s greatest hits. I don't think I have the resources to make the other one, though.

You know, I could've cooked this the first time. Whatever. Golden Leaf gives Zess Tea, one of the ultimate recipes. You'll know you've made one when Zess's stove glows before she gives you the finished product, and most of the good ones are named after her. Although in this case, that's quite literal.

This is not the ultimate recipe one can make with the Healthy Salad.

Although it is an ultimate recipe.

Ultimates also usually have Zess T. shill the recipe before she gives it to you.

Zess Special is the middle recipe in a collection of three powerful Zess healing recipes, healing 20 HP/FP, and Healthy Salad + Shroom Roast is the best way to make one. For 15 coins and a side trip to Petalburg, this is a pretty powerful inventory item.

I'm getting up there in years, so I want me some insurance: a Life Shroom! I'm in no big hurry, but sometime before my time comes would be nice. Please meet me in the Great Tree in Boggly Woods.

Anyway, ultimate stuff out of the way, I'm going to get this done before I move on.

Here. 40 coins at the Twilight Shop is the best you can do in this game. It's worth every penny, but to give away to an NPC...

At least we get a 20 coin profit.

A longer life. Depends what state the Life Shroom returns you to after you eat it.

While I'm here, you will give me an Egg, Petuni.

I also need to make some purchases at the store, so while I'm coming down, I can bump into Puniper sitting outside the Jabbi hive.

The Jabbis have made peace with the Punies, although Puniper cannot say the same in turn.

You can even talk to them, around the two rooms their Jabbi hives were in during Chapter 2!

Well, you can read their thoughts. Jabbis are not capable of speech as a race, it seems. They have a stinger, but no mouth, apparently.

The X-Nauts promised them the tree, and nearly cost the tree to everyone. It seems they can handle cooperation instead.

Petuni even has friends among the Jabbies! ..."Friend" might be pushing it on this one.

Probably.

And you would be right to do so. Give him an extra one from me.

That's a Jabbi. They always make that weird face, like... "Huh? What did I do?" What? You can actually tell what they're thinking? Get out!

Goombella has a few Tattles for Jabbies, but this one was my favourite.

Despite Punio positioning Jabbies and Piders as relatively equal opponents, Piders have not made any repatriation efforts, and continue to be regular enemies we can fight (and Tattle) freely. No point, though.

They'll be fine. Besides, there's a shortcut in this room.

...I don't want to know why you know that.

Uh... Mario collects thousands of coins playing Mario games (and not just New Super Mario Bros. 2), but I'm not sure those can be considered a valid form of currency. The RPGs give him some decently spendable cash, though.

Another fan of Petuni. I'd say "just try it", but I think the whole "not speaking" thing might get in the way there.

...I'm not sure Jabble gives you Mushrooms, although it's possible this is related to Petuni's Mushroom for Punio. They're easily avaiable here in the Tree, seeing as the price is lowest here.

I'm not sure if that's supposed to be "stolen" or "poisoned". I'm going with "stolen", since he keeps hiding in the shop inventory.

I'm here for Ice Storms.

I apparently didn't find Jabble in the shop, but nothing in the datamine obviously points to it, and I don't see why I wouldn't have at least brushed my nose back there.

...Why does Punio even hang around that guy?

...You people need more females.

So that's why they gather around the Puni Orb. Doesn't look that squishy to me, although that may be why we're not stuck staring at it too.

You want it? I'm done with it.

...Good point. I'd offer an explanation, but I don't know how pipes work with plumbing, let alone wood.

Some Tattles for Punies, with no particular order:

That's a Puni... And his name is as follows... Umm... Oh, Mario, are you kidding? They all look exactly the same to me! I feel awful!

That's a Puni. Yeah, uh, his name is... let's see... Punifred. Ermmm... All right, FINE! That was just a guess.

That's a Puni. I wonder how long Punies live, anyway... I mean, generally, smaller creatures don't live as long as larger ones, but... Hmm... Maybe we shouldn't think too much about that...

That's a Puni... ........Look, I already told you! I can't tell them apart except for Punio and his friends!

That's a Puni... Yup. Sure is. Look, what's wrong with just leaving it at that?! ...No good, huh?

That's a Puni. So what do you think that noise is that Punies make when they walk, anyway? Is that noise coming from their bodies? And if so, which part? And why?!

That's a Puni. A Puni is a Puni is a Puni.

That's a Puni. What else can I tell you?

That's a Puni. Hey, what is that thing on top of their heads, anyway? It's so weird... I swear, I just can't figure these little things out.

At least she's apologetic about not knowing the differences.

Decided to put the Puni Orb here. It's no longer in my inventory, although I can pick it up whenever.

I'm going to be doing a lot of buying today.

Starting with a classic.

New Egg, same ol' Egg Bomb.

Another Golden Leaf recipe, this one...

...That is odd. This recipe didn't seem to be something Zess T was too fond of.

Despite being entirely- oh, it freezes you when you eat it in fights, that explains it. 15 HP is pretty good for our of combat, though, and this is more of a recipe item anyway.

You mean I haven't gotten around to this yet?

Need it, too.

The Couple's Cake is a Slow Shroom, but it only works on the character who isn't the one using the item. It's a very lovey-dovey item and not that worth making more.

Grabbing some of these, too.

This was not intentional, and I am sure Lahla is rolling her eyes to the back of her head.

Congratulations, Ms. Mowz. You can oneshot an enemy from after Chapter 1.

Another nice Zess recipe with that Gradual Syrup from the sewers. The Zess Cookie isn't quite the Zess Dinner, and is more expensive too, but it's still a good one.

...I swear I don't remember some of these combinations.

Another strange kaboom.

Ah. You can get this with a Shroom Fry, too, but I guess I just had more Shroom Roasts at hand.

Meteor Meals are pretty good for selling in SPM. They're not as valuable here, but there's not much that really sells at a profit, as far as I can spot. This is more valuable than it was in the Japanese version- they doubled the price for us.

Would you please deliver the Silver Club newsletter routing slip for me? Please come pick it up at my house in Twilight Town.

I still have cooking to do, but I'll need to visit Twilight Town first.

Can you not be an asshole to me, or is that outside your capabilities?

We have a newsletter run to do around the world.

I'm doing this for your friends first and foremost.

This also speaks to how few people are on the rota, that they can still use an old slip without having to replace it for lack of room.

This is a convenient place to stock up on Maple Syrups for a few recipes-

Oh. I... don't recall if the rewards get listed in-game at all. It would've been nice to know a freebie was coming up.

I'll want another spare one of these, especially since some of these are used in recipes.

Anyway, I am unclear about when this starts, but you should sleep at the Twilight Town Inn occasionally.

This is how you find Peachy Peaches. It turns out there's only one recipe that requires them, but I honestly never knew where they were, and only really knew they existed from Super Luigi 1 and a joke they make in SPM.

...That's me loaded.

New high score for distance, too. I do kinda wish that flight that got 30 Piantas had more weight to it.

This whole thing was just to make sure I didn't run out of Cake Mixes.

The Peach Tart is the only thing that requires a Peachy Peach... and it's immediately getting sold.

~~Just barely covers the cost of sleeping at the inn to get the Peach.~~

You can also use a Dried Shroom/Life Shroom, like in 64, I just had a few more Mushrooms at hand. Shroom Steak is still too demanding on your ingredients to be worth it, and that's even moreso here, where the Life Shroom is more expensive. But it's useful in further cooking.

This is a pretty nice one. My aim in making the frozen treats is something else, though.

Anyway, back to Mayor Dour's Trouble. In hindsight, I'm glad I'm snubbing him to cook. I wasn't quite as harsh towards him while playing the game, but on seeing his dialogue more closely, he really doesn't make himself look great.

...Youth-fountain? How am I just hearing about this now? A youth-fountain sounds like the thing the Town Story should be based on- although hilariously, the local villain has no need for a fountain of youth when he can wear whatever face he pleases.

Old (wo)man solidarity. So do I need to ask if you want to induct anyone new to the club?

...Is this a different item in any way other than under the hood?

Anyway, your turn to take the old man's newsletter.

I'm not sure what makes this a "Super" pressure monitor, but that's probably because I am not clear on their function of such monitors (and the significance of why they used "gauge" instead) or why it's more stereotypically an old-person thing.

Not a medical expert, but I kinda suspect Koopas and Punies may not have the biological similarity to share these. Not the least, because I have no idea what part of her body the Puni Elder puts hers.

Probably for the best you stayed here anyway.

Yeah, that's definitely the same graphic for the item.

Anyway, visiting Petalburg was a good excuse to cook another Healthy Salad.

That's because the Shroom Steak is exactly what it needs to become the greatest Zess recipe short of Jelly Ultra.

Zess Deluxe! So, for a trip to Petalburg and ~42 coins, you can get a 40 HP/FP recovery item before Chapter 5. You needed to be able to get to Shiver City to cook the Deluxe Feast from 64, in comparison.

Another Zess recipe, this time in the freezer section. Not a great item utility-wise for the cost (and convenience) of the ingredients, but we'll be turning this in to another cause.

See, I am capable of being helpful!

I wonder if it's supposed to reflect so badly on him that he doesn't comment on something Kroop has done for him, but rather complain (or, more optimistically, commiserate over) his suffering.

...Yay?

Presumably, having started it while they were in their middle-aged years, only for it to continue to be unironic the longer it goes.

...I don't think Mario is that old. (Funny blink frame to accompany that). While Mario is definitely older than Peach is, it's not by too many years, although they certainly do look like there's at least a decade in between. Even at the least generous, though, Mario isn't really 20 years off from his time in a retirement home.

So long, Dour. May we never meet again.

That is a compact inventory. Really, inventory is just for emergencies, so why not pack just for how many emergencies you're worried about?

It's a Badge, I need to put it in my collection...

Oh man I'm a little short on money. Wait a second...

Pianta Parlor doesn't reload the inventory, I can pick up one of these. In addition to restoring your FP, it also Electrifies you.

Also wanted one of these, for an extra safety.

Anyway, the Electro Pop is strangely valuable, and has a decent selling price. Buying a Cake Mix directly with coins, this is still a loss, but if you're good enough at the Pianta games to get 6 Piantas easily from the games, this isn't a half bad way to make money in a pinch. I wouldn't suggest it if you need money in bulk, though.

Exactly as planned! I'm just kidding, I wasn't expecting it to be exactly enough.

For a Badge that doesn't really get the specifices of Stylish down, it's weird it's 1 BP. Then again, Stylishes let you get a lot of extra SP to make Earth Tremor basically Fiery Jinx for free, that is something I can see wanting players to get slightly good at the game to enjoy.

Why is Slow Go the one with its own page? I mean, it's a funny joke...

Lumpy has officially wandered off. The port is now being used for plot stuff.

It is going to be so hard to find someone to convince to follow them. Or perhaps pretty easy, considering everyone in Rogueport is here to try and find treasure that is going to kill them.

If it is dumb to sail to Keehaul Key and challenge the pirate king with the intention of acquiring a valuable treasure, then may Rosalina help me, I'll soon be guilty of that!

Everyone in port is very happy to tell us about how foolhardy this idea is going to be. At least they are equally happy to not do anything about it other than tell us.

Starting now, the port boxes have been rearranged such that they are closer to the dock... creating this annoying little bend that we have to run around every time we want to reach the now-important docks.

This is the guy who lost his brother. Clearly, to the very curse we face.

No. No there is not. And this town is built on how dumb of an idea that is.

Flavio is a very wealthy merchant- the sort of wealthy where he stops having to do things and starts getting to brag about how wealthy he is whenever he pleases.

...That is not the response I was expecting, twice in a row. OK, I expected the first one.

...Grim.

Anyway, over in port, this Bob-omb will be happy to explain to us how bombing things is something Bob-ombs can do multiple times. Utterly mocking the poor Bob-ombs in the games that think differently about the issue.

...Imagining child Bob-ombs trying and somehow failing to blow themselves up is... both more and less morbid than I thought.

Deep breath in.

Sigh.

Anyway, Flavio, we need to use a boat to get to Keelhaul Key, and we figure you are rich, insane, or foolish enough to let us use one of yours. Circle one as appropriate when I talk to you more and figure out which is most likely.

Because the kind of man who is likely to amass enough wealth to afford to throw it away is also the kind of man likely to be inherently more greedy than normal.

We are allowed to choose what we think he's missing from a single first impression. While I appreciate the chutzpah of "money, maybe", it's obviously one of the other options... except, on further thought, I think there is a correct answer.

This man does not need more thrills in his life- he doesn't seem like he's got the temperament to bounce off it. Romance, meanwhile, is presumably referring to romanticism and not a potential love story (and I think the game reads it as such), but neither is pretty useful right now. Flavio has enough ego and accomplishment, he doesn't need more.

...What were we talking about?

Oh.

Romance, you say, ah? I suppose one does need some rrrrrromance in life... What other sweet, delectable fruit could make so many wonderful pasta sauces... AH! NOOO! FOOLISH FLAVIO! Not ROMAS, you silly man! What I need is ROMANCE!!! Wait! Hold the horses! That is it!!!

Thrills, you say, ah? I suppose one does need some thrills every now and then... There is nothing like the feeling of being alone on a mountain, shivering to death... AH! NOOO! FOOLISH FLAVIO! Not CHILLS, you silly man! What I need are THRILLS!!! Wait! Hold the horses! That is it!!!

Money, you say, ah? Yes. There is nothing like a grapefruit covered in... AH! NOOO! FOOLISH FLAVIO! Not HONEY, you silly man! What he meant was MONEY!!! ...Ah, but if it's money I need, I may be in good shape. Because I'm filthy rich! Wait! Hold the horses! A great idea has struck!

The mishear jokes for the other things you can suggest. Money is, of course, the most interesting option, since he acknowledges the fact this doesn't have any purpose for him.

After we tell him what he should aspire to, Flavio decides he is going to plunge into the pit of Cortez's pirate treasure without our prompting. I don't think I've figured out whether he's too rich, insane or foolish, but we're just going to let him do this because we need his resources.

Fortunately, this quest will provide all four options.

...Actually, no I don't. I know it's dangerous, but I'm not entirely sure why or where it comes from.

Cortez was a legendary pirate, long ago, and he is now dead. Like all pirates in fictional media, he decided to stash his treasure rather than use that money to buy things he liked. This is just a tradition amongst all fictional media that want to glorify naval piracy as being really damn cool (in defence of the tradition, naval piracy is really cool) but do not want their pirates to be criminals, for whatever reason- usually because the pirates are the heroes of the story.

...Although admittedly, that still doesn't actually explain why most pirates bury treasure. I suppose keeping it as a trophy of their succcessors explain why they keep it at all. For what it's worth, Cortez did not bury his treasure- although I'm not sure the stories explain how he does keep it.

Whatever he did with it, it's really dangerous to go look for. Although we're less certain how so- "not one has ever returned" means we don't have reports of what they found.

The story that is currently popular is that the ghost of Cortez himself is defending his treasure from being stolen. In a world where Boos exist, this is less unreasonable than usual, and considering what Boos can get up to, definitely a good idea to keep your nose out of it.

But at the same time, there's a lot of glory to be had just answering the question.

Mario chips in vocally, to explain why he even walked up in the first place.

...The Thousand-Year Door is right there, dude. Believe (or disbelieve) whatever rumours you wish about what's behind it, opening it is equally impressive. Not that I want to do it, though...

It's totally legit, too! Not sure how I prove it's such, let alone magical, but if you're the kind of guy who believes in Cortez's treasure hoard, I'm sure "a treasure map" is believable enough.

Mario actually shows Flavio the map. Fortunately, he doesn't steal it.

...He... he's probably right. Odds are pretty good we're going to find the Crystal Star in that hoard.

Fortunately, we can use that to calm Flavio's concerns about us down.

There's a legend about such a stone, so we know we're going to have to put our eggs in this basket. To at least check it.

Hahaha, I am dirt poor, please don't.

Flavio, after a brief flirt with his ruthless side, decides that he'll do the altruistic thing and allow us to take the Crystal Star if we come along.

We have no need for the treasure- it doesn't convert to coins. We can leave Flavio to it, and just take the Crystal Star for ourselves.

Mario has been interjecting every time Flavio gets new information about us. Now, though, it's time for us to mention our problem- getting to the island.

Fortunately, the reason we went to Flavio has been satisfied. We now have access to a boat.

At this point, I want to mention something that I've alluded to, but not explicitly pointed out yet: At no point in this conversation has Mario explained what he is adding to this adventure, nor has Flavio recognised him as The Definite Article. I'm not actually sure Flavio is ever told this later on-screen, but as far as this conversation has portrayed it, Mario is basically walking up to Flavio randomly, asking if he can join, and Flavio is promoting him without being aware of his extensive credentials. Lucky Mario can back that up, then!

Flavio grabs his gem and then goes to the docks.

With Flavio ready to set sail to Keelhaul Key on a strangers' say so, a number of people have jumped at the chance to come along, despite the risks. This guy is not one of them.

Someone else who reads Flavio as insane. Does that make us insane for enabling him?

"You should treasure your life, but if you're going to throw it away anyway, can you at least go tell the dead I miss them from my comfy life still being alive?"

That's excellent news!

...Well, so much for that. Something's telling me the S.S. Flavion won't survive to see the end of the story.

Speaking of, our motley crew. Flavio, Pa-Patch, and that new guy in the overalls are the important ones.

That's a Bob-omb sailor. He's one of the guys going to Keelhaul Key with us. Why do you think so many Bob-ombs become sailors? Kinda weird, huh?

Goombella raises a good question about why there's so many Bob-ombs among the sailors, but this guy is also part of our quest, despite not being on board the boat.

That's Pa-Patch the Bob-omb. He's a real salty sailor type. Totally active guy, huh? Yeah, he looks pretty burly, too. Gotta love strong go-getters, huh?

Pa-Patch is entirely in it for a get-rich-quick scheme. Let's see how that works out for you.

They call that guy Four-Eyes. He's one of the sailors coming with us to Keelhaul Key. I totally feel like I've seen him somewhere before, though... Maybe I'm just going nuts.

I dunno, Goombella, Four-Eyes doesn't look all that familiar to me. I certainly don't think he's any classic Mario design, at any rate.

That's one of the sailors going with us to Keelhaul Key. He seems super-motivated, so we're totally lucky to have him, know what I mean?

I've got absolutely no idea where the use of the term "ho" in such expressions comes from, although the theory I most liked about the subject is that "ho" happens to be one of the sounds that it is easiest to say loudly- if you're saying something like this, you want everyone to to take notice.

"Starboard ho" also seems pretty meaningless as a callout, since all you're doing is telling people to look off the starboard side of the ship. You usually want to tell people what they're looking at.

That's a Toad sailor. He seems pretty freaked out to be a sailor, but hey. I always hear him worrying about his brother, so maybe that's why he's so tweaked. Y'know, speaking of which, you don't exactly worry about Luigi much, do you?

Our anxious little guy has plucked up his courage and decided to go out into the sea to find his wayward brother. Let's hope he finds him. And doesn't die.

Considering the antics he gets up to in the Luigi stories, I feel Mario should probably be more concerned about Luigi than he is.

That's one of the Toads who's coming with us to Keelhaul Key. Sounds like she got tired of life in Rogueport and wants a fresh start on Keelhaul Key. Hey, she's young, y'know? That's the time to get out there and try new stuff!

I'm not sure where this Toad Girl lived before she jumped on board, but she is more than ready to be shot of Rogueport and nothing Keelhaul Key could possibly throw at her is more terrifying than staying here.

This place is a hellhole, she's got a point.

This guy is on his way to Keelhaul Key to establish a shop!

That's Thriff T. the Toad. He and his brother run the Toad Bros. Bazaar. He says he wants to go to Keelhaul Key to open his own shop. Not a bad dream! I get totally jealous of people who stay so focused on their goals, y'know? But... How many customers does he expect to get on a deserted island, anyway?

Although he doesn't seem to have thought that far ahead.

Flavio himself would like to talk to us about the reason they have yet to set sail.

That's the entrepreneur, Flavio. He's like, super-rich. He owns lots of ships. I don't know for sure, but it looks like this ship is his favorite.

But first, he will talk our ear off about the S.S. Flavion and why it is the best ship ever to exist shut up he is speaking now.

Any boat experts reading this, feel free to either support or deny Flavio's claims. I feel like we are supposed to like this boat, but not believe the legends Flavio is espousing about it. So, whichever is funnier.

Eventually, Mario gets bored enough to remind Flavio about that problem that is stopping this boat from sailing.

We will tolerate this man as long as we need him to have access to this boat, and not a second longer.

We have a lot of people willing to pitch in to help, but we lack people qualified to perform one of the most important parts of sailing a ship- the navigator.

Because this is a kid's game, this is as much detail as we're going to go into, but if we don't have a navigator, we can and will get lost in the ocean, run out of supplies, and die a horrible death. Scavenge for more? From what? Ocean fishing is a different game to freshwater fishing, especially from the deck of a sailing ship.

In practice, this seems to be more about superstition than ocean currents, but it's still a valid reason to ask for competence from them, as compared to all the other positions we have filled, which can spare "the first person foolish enough to ask."

Fortunately, we have an idea pitched!

Somewhere in Rogueport lives a sailor called Bobbery. I haven't found him yet, though, but I've looked most places- meaning there's not many new places to check.

Pa-Patch also mentions there'll be a reason he's available here to be asked.

Flavio completely ignores that and decides that he must enlist Bobbery's aid, regardless of how likely he is to take us up on that.

Before promptly handing the hard stuff to us.

...Oh great, he's going to blame us for this if it doesn't work, isn't he? No wonder he was so eager to promote us.

Flavio even hosts an impromptu vote for it. Not that Bluey down there pitched in.

Let's see if this works...

Well, this can only end in disaster.

At this point in the game, you can ask NPCs for help on tracking down Bobbery. Podley is one of two NPCs who will tell you where to look.

Although he knows why we're looking for him and is pessimistic about our chances.

You can also ask Frankly to tell you where he lives.

Anyway, this is the house we need, so time to play Santa Claus.

As far as "reactions to a man falling down my chimney" go, this is surprisingly polite.

That's a Bob-omb sailor. The workers at the docks say he's some kind of legend. I heard he was stubborn, but who knew he'd give us this much trouble? Seriously! It'd be nice if Professor Frankly could tell us something about him...

This particular sea dog will deny being Admiral Bobbery, and tell us to get lost.

Koops: Ummm... Listen, Mr. Bobbery... We already heard that you're the Bobbery we're looking for.
Flurrie: Oh, drop this SHAM, sir! We're already quite aware that you're Bobbery!
Dr. Agon: Drop the act, Super 'Stache! We already found out that you're Admiral Bobbery!
Vivian: Please, don't insult us... We already know you're the admiral, so just admit it!
Ms. Mowz: Don't be so coy, Admiral! We've already found out your identity!

Fortunately, we know for a fact this guy is Bobbery because we checked with Frankly and Podley first. You must talk to one of these NPCs in order to get Bobbery to respond to your efforts- usually Frankly, which is one of the few times in the game Frankly's advice is useful. Even if it technically is necessary.

Bobbery: You seek Admiral Bobbery? ...Never heard of the gent. Take your search elsewhere.

This is the dialogue you get if you haven't checked in with either. He will unlock his door to let you leave, and you can use the door to come back in with proof.

Bobbery is so fun to listen to, it's great. "Gent", "poppycock"...

Bobbery denies our request for him to join our sailing crew. As we have been hinted he might.

Koops: But... But... But... But... Please, Admiral, sir! We NEED you! Nobody else can get us to Keelhaul Key!
Flurrie: But... Show some compassion, dear man. Don't make us beg! We simply must have you! You are our sole hope for reaching Keelhaul Key!
Dr. Agon: But... That's just not cool! You wanna see me beg or something? Is that it? You HAVE to come along! Only you can get us safely to Keelhaul Key!
Vivian: But... Maybe you don't understand how important this is. We NEED you. Without you, we'll never get to Keelhaul Key!
Ms. Mowz: But... Don't be like that! We truly need your help, can't you see that? Without you, we'll surely meet our ends on the way to Keelhaul Key!

The partner begs him to come because it's important! Vivian is the only partner who even hints at the possibility that us going or not going to Keelhaul Key is do-or-die: everyone else takes it as a given that we simply must go there and expects Bobbery to take us at our word.

Bobbery has probably heard similar sob stories from heartless merchants who did not actually have do-or-die incentives to do what they're doing. He is not so easily swayed.

He sends us away- but since we already knew he was Bobbery, he stops to unlock his door first. If you had to go check, the door would already be unlocked, so he could just dismiss us immediately. I think this timing is still cool.

Koops: Um... What's next, Mario? I don't think we're gonna convince that guy to join us.
Flurrie: I'm at a loss, Mario... This gentleman is stubborn as an ornery old mule!
Dr. Agon: What's the next move, chief? This salty dude is going nowhere fast.
Vivian: What do you think, Mario? Nothing we say seems to be enough to convince this man...
Ms. Mowz: Mmmm... Your thoughts, Mario? We don't seem to be getting anywhere with this man.

No means no, but on the other hand... we do need a navigator, and we don't exactly know any alternatives.

Koops: He seems so bummed out... Why is he so hung up on not sailing again, I wonder? Maybe we should ask around and see if anybody knows the admiral's story.
Flurrie: But... I can't help but wonder... What is it that turned this poor man against the sea? Perhaps it would behoove us to search out someone who knows him and ask about it.
Dr. Agon: I can't figure this guy out! What's his beef with the ocean, anyway? Know what we oughta do? Go find someone who knows what this dude's deal is!
Vivian: But... Don't you find it odd? Why would a sailor have such hatred for the sea? We need answers... Maybe we should ask around town about this man's story...
Ms. Mowz: I can't help but wonder... What could turn such a man against the sea? I think our only option is to ask around and see if anyone knows his tale.

This does kinda leave a bad taste in my mouth, but ultimately, things work out. So I can forgive the game for not letting Bobbery's opinions stick.

Frankly has another clue for us here, adding to his slim total of actual clues. Sorry, it's just a consequence of the way chapters work.

He doesn't actually know what Bobbery's problem is, but he can tell us which NPC does.

Podley: "Told you so."

...Uh... I was very certain I did right up until you asked that, and now I'm thinking I've changed my mind.

Podley agrees with the assertion made by Pa-Patch and everyone else that we must have Bobbery if we want to still be alive after this expedition.

Consider yourself warned.

We must listen to the tale. I felt Flurrie was the right NPC for the situation.

Also, the expositions about Bobbery's situation are accompanied by Sadness and Happiness. While we already heard this theme for Jolene and Mush, this song is more often considered to be associated with Bobbery.

I'm not sure how I feel about other people praising Scarlette for her beauty, but the important takeaway is that Bobbery and Scarlette loved one another more than anything, no strings attached.

Unlike Kolorado, whose wife is questioning her life choices, Scarlette's appreciation for Bobbery's work is genuine, and she's happy to let him continue sailing around. I suspect this is because Bobbery's passion comes from a more heartfelt place, while Kolorado is running around chasing dreams he doesn't fully understand.

It also helps Bobbery comes home with affection for her, while Kolorado comes home eager to move on to the next quest.

I don't think we were meant to be particularly surprised by this one.

Bobbery didn't get to see Scarlette's final moments. He happened to be away on legitimate business at the time.

"Because clearly no one else in this town of opportunists was interested." I don't blame him for shutting himself away from the town. I wonder which of his old friends can still look him in the eye.

And yeah, considering he blames the sea for his suffering, he is in no hurry to return to its salty embrace.

Goombella: That's... sniff... the saddest tale I've ever heard in my life. No wonder...
Koops: Oh, man... Now I'm depressed. So that's his reason...
Dr. Agon: Gee... What a downer. I guess that's a pretty good reason for hating the ocean...
Vivian: I can't imagine what that poor man went through... No wonder he won't sail...
Ms. Mowz: Why must romance so often end in tragedy? Why?!? I see why he won't sail...

While the reactions have various scopes of reaction, everyone agrees yes, this is a reasonable reason to never set sail again.

...Unfortunately, we really do have no choice.

In that case, let the miserable old soul be and make your way without him.

Podley does send you away if you have mercy on him, but mercy won't let you finish the game.

Fortunately for the fate of the world, Podley does have something that might help.

Scarlette's final words.

Well, OK, these are her final words, but you get my meaning.

...Podley, we need to have some words. Scarlette could not have been more clear.

Scarlette: "I've left you something that might make Bobbery feel better about himself if he blames himself for my death."
Podley: "But he was so miserable I didn't want to give it to him."

It's not too unreasonable a hesistation, but seriously, man. He's still crying about it. It's not too late to change your mind.

Better late than never, I always say.

Goombella: Thanks, Podley. And don't beat yourself up for this. We'll deliver the letter. C'mon, Mario.
Koops: Ummm... Thank you, Podley. We'll deliver the letter, don't worry. Let's go, Mario.
Dr. Agon: Listen, Podley... Thanks a ton. We'll deliver this thing. You feel better, OK? Let's roll, Gonzales.
Vivian: Thank you so much, Podley. We'll deliver the letter, don't you worry. Ready, Mario?
Ms. Mowz: Thank you, Podley. That had to hurt you to admit... We'll deliver the letter. Let's go, Mario.

Fortunately, not everyone absolves Podley of guilt, although they are still nice enough to tell him to feel better about his failure now we're setting it to rights.

Bobbery's old tongue has only gotten that much more charming in the ten minutes we've left him to his own devices.

You have some long overdue mail.

Whatever hangups Podley thought he might have had twenty years ago have long since left him, and he's eager to jump right in to read what his wife had to say to him. Always remember, fulfilling a dying woman's last request is the right thing to do, especially when she predicts her husband's twenty year depression and planned ahead.

This is the other instance of Sadness and Happiness, by the way.

My love: if you're reading this letter, then I am no longer by your side. Because fate has stepped between us, I have decided to write you this letter. If you're reading this, I must have passed away while you were out to sea... I can only assume that you will blame yourself for it, my sweet Bobbery. Although my life was short, you gave me more than a lifetime's worth of joy. Though you will mourn, I beg that you remember that time, like love, is a tide. You are one with the sea, as you were one with me. Do not lose both your life's loves.

On the other hand... I think this letter probably works a little better if Bobbery's been moping for a while. Perhaps twenty years was a bit excessive, but Bobbery is a miserable old man with nothing to live for since forsaking the sea, and Scarlette didn't want that. She would have rathered she be in his life until old age, but better he keep one of his passions rather than give them both up.

A revelation like that, I'm impressed you only need a moment alone.

He dips into his backroom. There's actually an item back there to collect, and you're allowed to grab it before healing Bobbery's soul. There is many a joke about him entering this room to meditate and noticing he's been robbed. I figured I'd spare him that.

...Do you think we should've left the house?

With his love for the sea reignited, he finds himself insane enough to join us on our expedition to certain death. Suicidal? Possibly. But the worst possible thing Bobbery could have as his first voyage is some boring routine trip to Petalburg or something. If he's going to be making up for twenty lost years, he is going to have a blast.

Mission accomplished.

Bobbery is the first character to occupy the "third slot" in the party since we recruited Dr. Agon to the team, which means it is time to show off how the game treats them when using Ride: With the minimum required amount of dignity. No third character sticks around long enough to justify a special sprite, even if they knew a better place to stick them.

Now I'm going to rob Bobbery blind.

Bobbery was only actually following us for that room, hence why I showed it inside and not outside, where it makes sense to use Ride. They were not giving Bobbery a custom sprite for Ride.

Hi, Mario! How are you? I'm, uh... good. No, VERY good! No!!! GREAT!!!
Lots of stuff has changed here. Oh, but not the elder being mad at my brother. That's still the same.
I do wish you'd come back to play sometime. Are you really busy? Are you going someplace far away? Like, a place nobody's ever been? Wow! That'd be FUN! I'm jealous!
Well, if you ever have time to come back here, come play with me, OK? You have to PROMISE!
From, Petuni

For some reason, we got an email from Petuni. Nothing special, mostly for the picture of her with a Mystic Egg. Not sure why now, but sure.

That's Admiral Bobbery. All the dock workers call him a legendary helmsman. I don't know if that's true, but he definitely seems like the most capable sailor here! I know he's been through a lot, but I'm glad we brought him around, aren't you?

Bobbery's Tattle, and a joyful whiff of nostalgia flowing into his old blood.

...I'm not judging the absurdity of your dreams (...much), but I am judging your desire to frolic like a sea turtle. Any resemblance to Koopas in that, and if not, what do you think they are in the Mario verse? I just can't wrap my head around that thought.

Having succeeded in our quest to make this expedition go from "impossible" to "possible", Flavio is happy to see his fall guy vindicated, and also makes sure to take some of the credit for himself, for having chosen us.

I didn't say it before Chapter 4, because that's part of the conceit of the chapter, but we're going to be laying it on the table this time: You will not be allowed to come back to Rogueport until you have completed Chapter 5 in its entirety. You will be allowed to access anything you have in storage (that's what Thriff T. is for), but if you need any new Badges, Partner Upgrades, or what have you, do it now.