Our first match in the Major Leagues is against Spiky Joe.
Fortunately, they're spiky, that's not a big deal.
Aww, they're so cute. I want to squeeze their cheeks.
That's a Red Spike Top. It's the most well protected of the Buzzy Beetle species. Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is a whopping 4. Yup… This guy is HARD! It has really high Defense, and fire and explosions don't hurt it at all. If we can just find a way to flip it over, its underside has Defense of 0… And that spike… What a pain! There's gotta be a way to flip it over…
Red Spike Tops are exclusive to the Glitz Pit, and despite the fact they have the name that specifies their colour, Spike Tops are usually red. They also usually have evil red eyes under their shells, but I think Buzzy Beetles have that too.
There's a joke that the Armoured Harriers are stuck where they are because they can't bypass the Red Spike Tops' high defence. Remember their spikes pierce defences, guys, they're just jerks. Probably stopped obeying conditions in the Major League.
Quake Hammer is how we're winning this fight.
...Did a stage light fall on the Audience? Would anything in this game pass a WHS inspection?
OK, that is some money.
Surprisingly, but perhaps not unexpectedly, the Rank 9 battle has no associated events.
Straight to number 8. This battle is the only one in the Major League that we'll recognise.
This is also a command I feel no problems obeying. You'd think they'd put a common sense check on these.
We're up against a pair of Bristles! Bristles, you might remember from Chapter 1.
Now we've got to kill them again. We have Shell Toss, Earth Tremor and Quake Hammer now. We'll be just fine no matter what Grubba tells us not to use.
The Hammer will do. Huh, I even flipped them.
Now that's over...
It's time for another email.
X's orders... could use a little extra specificity. "Watering hole". Just say juice shop, it's not doing anything other than making you more suspicious.
Even Goombella scoffs.
Another layer to the mystery. While you have a currently active favour owed to X, Gonzales will coincidentally be unable to request participation in the next match. Someone had to sign off on that.
At the Fresh Juice Shop, our objective, not elaborated on by X, will be to have a chinwag with Podler.
Don't worry, Podler, I think we weren't supposed to see who delivered it.
...You wouldn't happen to see who it was, did you?
All of a sudden, we got an equipment upgrade! The Super Hammer represents the start of an interesting issue with playing TTYD outside official hardware.
At least we have a Hammer upgrade.
...Ah, who am I kidding, it doesn't buff Quake Hammer, when are we using this?
She says this, not understanding just what exactly she is unleashing on the world.
Control stick spinning! Mildly frustrating on a real control stick- the Gamecube ones are pretty decent at it, at least- and an absolute nightmare with arrow keys. There are three overworld abilities triggered by control stick spinning, and every single one is uncomfortably annoying.
Now, the way Super Hammer works is that you press B. This will swing your hammer normally, but hold it down long enough and Mario will adopt this angry pose.
At this point, spinning the control stick will wind Mario up.
Release B at any point in the process, and Mario will spin around. The more you charge up, the faster the spin is, but for destroying field obstacles, just some spin will be enough.
Hell no.
Haven't done that either, I just want out.
Rather than destroying different coloured blocks, the Super Hammer instead destroys bigger blocks.
Super Hammer is this game's equivalent to Spin Smash, costing 2 FP to use, being slightly more awkward to hit, and in general not being worth the Badge spot despite not actually using up any BP.
While so far across the games, the Equipment Upgrades have been "special" because of their high gameplay value, this setup seems to be because you can just... buy decent Hammers. "2005", in a game released in 2004, is supposed to be an indicator of this hammer's really high quality compared to competition.
This thing is a massive deal even in the commercial world where its purchase is even possible. Whoever gave this to us, with no expectation of (and even the active effort to avoid) being recognised, must have big things in mind for us.
...Probably is. We have all that Security for a reason.
X has another request. Presumably to use that Hammer.
...
They say... there's a sealed wall in the minor-league locker room... Some say... the remains of fallen athletes are stored in there...
...Bandy Andy, you were onto something.
Mario has several, help yourself. Hell, that guy in the disco jacket over there is one of them.
(Could you do something about him, please?)
What do you mean, we're not allowed in the minor league locker room? Security sees no issue.
In we go.
The Iron Adonis twins are in here, too. Smouldering over their defeat.
That's the older of the Iron Adonis Twins. You can tell he's older by his red shoes. I don't think they took their loss to you too well, Mario. I'd be careful around them...
That's the younger of the Iron Adonis Twins. He and his brother totally hate you. Is it a rule that older brothers wear red shoes and younger brothers wear green?
The fact that they're using Mario and Luigi's distinctive "older is red, younger is green" pattern has not gone unnoticed. Such sibling pairs are everywhere in the Mario & Luigi RPGs, and usually, any such pair of characters will teach Mario and Luigi a new move of some kind. These two seem to be the only such example in TTYD, and just generally don't acknowledge it.
Our old friends (and Sir Swoop) are merely confused what purpose we have.
Don't mind me, I'll just be going in here and seeing what's what.
...Well, there's no corpses, but there's definitely suspicious stuff. Told him there wouldn't be corpses, the smell would be...
...
Could you smell corpses over the rank odour of the unclean locker room?
We'll need to use Dr. Agon's Ride to get over this gap.
Although once you pick up this paper, you're immediately cutscened. Switched to Goombella first this time, we're not that locked into using Dr. Agon.
Koops: Wow, Mario! That's a research document on the Crystal Stars! Unbelievable! Someone commissioned a report on the Crystal Stars! A report with pictures!
Flurrie: Good gracious! That's a report investigating the Crystal Stars! Someone was doing scientific studies on the Crystal Stars. My, it even has pictures!
Dr. Agon: Whoa, Gonzales! That's some kinda scientific paper on the Crystal Stars! Who'd be investigating those things besides us? They even took pictures!
Koops's line is probably best. Whatever this is, someone wanted actual analysis done on the Crystal Star.
Koops: Ummm... Maybe I'm being paranoid, but it seems odd that someone would lose this.
Flurrie: I have to wonder about why someone would leave this out for us to find...
Dr. Agon: Who'd leave something like this lying around? This just REEKS of funny business!
Flurrie seems to have the wrong idea, although this does raise the question of how this paper was separated from its rightful owner. Or, well, its original owner, I doubt the word "rightful" applies to him and his Crystal Star. How long ago was it? And what has happened to the Crystal Star since?
...Did she think were were Bandy Andy? This is certainly a novel interloper.
I'm sorry, Jolene. It was just a bright and glowing yellow block, I had to smash for goodies!
...This is not helping my case, is it?
Rather than threaten our position in the Glitz Pit, all Jolene bothers doing as punishment is swiping the Dubious Paper. They make a big deal about that contract we signed, but all of these miscellaneous X favours don't seem to have any consequences to our enrolment or progress. I imagine they're not going to Grubba's desk, at any rate.
Koops: Oh... Well, there she goes... Taking that document we worked so hard to get... Well... I guess we know that the Crystal Star is in the arena, at least.
Flurrie: Oh, my, she doesn't like us, does she? And we worked so hard getting that paper... It's not a total loss, dear. At the very least, we know the Crystal Star is nearby.
Dr. Agon: Dang, what's with her?!? We busted our humps getting that information! Some people just gotta rain on parades! Well, at least we know the Crystal Star's here!
Losing the Dubious Paper stings, but at least we know we're on the right track. We don't know much about what was going on- and without sending the Paper to Frankly, we wouldn't exactly get a lot of information out of it even if we sat down and analysed it- but we do know that somewhere in the Glitz Pit, something is going down related to the Crystal Star.
After that, the Security Guard goes back to blocking the Minor League door as normal.
Next up in line, we're going to face down against against Shellshock.
LET ME USE JUMPMAN YOU how do you keep giving me this condition against enemies I don't want to Jump on?
These guys take Koopas and make them terrifying.
That's a Shady Koopa. It's yet another member of the Koopa family tree. Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. The difference between them and other Koopas? They can attack from their backs! And, when they flip back up, their Attack gets boosted and they go totally ape! …Wow! That's pretty tricky! No wonder they're called Shady Koopas, huh?
That's a Shady Paratroopa. It's a Shady Koopa with wings, obviously. Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. Knock off its wings and it's a Shady Koopa. Unlike typical Koopas and Paratroopas, its Attack jumps when it flips up off its back. This also says it has a move that hits you and your ally at once. Is that possible? Uh… I guess the best thing to do is just beat it quickly after we flip it.
While upright, Shady Koopas have a 3 Atk Shell Toss. On their backs? They have a 6 Atk Power Shell. They still lose their points of Defence on their back (and they will eventually get up), but the tricks you used to trivialise King K only make Shellshock more powerful.
Shady Paratroopa is a pretty lackluster enemy, since the gimmick requires taking away its wings. While Shady Koopas appear in the Pit of 100 Trials, Shady Paratroopas do not.
That Earth Quake is a bit of a lost cause. Power Smash will do just fine.
...Nevermind, the Stage is playing in my favour today. Can't say I appreciate counting on the game to bail me out of the RNG it put me in, though. Kinda feels like I have no actual say in the strategy I use.
Goombella has a Bonk to get this guy out of the sky.
Breaking out of Freeze does 1 damage.
And he is quickly dealt with. His Power Shell doesn't matter if we one round him.
So much for an upgraded King K.
After your Rank 7 match, you will be challenged to a battle.
This is not scripted. Grubba is going to try his best to pretend it is.
They're going to get disciplined for this one, right, guys?
...
OK, there we go oneshotting one of the Adonis Twins thanks to Power Plus P Super Dr. Agon. Lucky we can just spit out the other one and be fine without a rock to spit him at.
Also fortunately, the Iron Adonis Twin rematch doesn't interfere with your ranking, and you don't have to conform to your Condition.
Yup, we're good to spit him out.
Presumably, the reason they showed up is because they're seeing red after we went to the Minor League locker room for no clear reason, broke down their wall, and got nothing but a slap on the wrist.
I did have to use Sweet Treat for it, but yeah... I'll be fine.
Yeah, people better watch out.
...And give me a bonus for that extra fight, please, that's unpaid labour on the table!
Seems a little too quick for another email from X...
Hate mail! Mario doesn't delete this, for some reason. How often does he deal with hate mail, in the place where he's beloved by everyone except a few odd members of the Koopa Troop?
Goombella: Whoa... That totally sounds like a threat! I don't think our X friend sent that one. What kind of psycho would send hate e-mail like that?
Koops: Oh, gee whiz... That doesn't sound very nice. And it doesn't sound like our X. Who in the world would send a nasty e-mail like that?
Flurrie: Oh, dear... That's a rather serious threat. I daresay our X fellow didn't send it. What sort of degenerate would stoop to such a low?
I quite like the fact that this email is set to happen directly after the Iron Adonis match, because of how this makes the timeline fill up, although it does mean the partner reactions don't get to show up. Then again, Goombella and Flurrie seem to overestimate the evil necessary to send hate mail.
Strangely, both X and our hate mailer use the same ringtone.
Shellshock: You're pretty strong, but your partners are strong, too, baby! Maybe I should get new partners, huh?
Hamma Jamma: You oughta know, man, this hammer was forged by my grandpappy... You really think a new model like that can stand up to a vintage heirloom like this?
Spiky Joe: This spike is my trademark, Mister. Why'd you think they call me Spiky Joe, anyway? Your trademark must be that burly mustache, huh? Spiky Joe and Mustache... Together they fight crime! That'd be a killer TV show!
Koopinator: One's posture in battle is forged by one's actions in life. Remember this.
Hamma Jamma is a family man, as it happens, and he likes to talk about what his grandpappy, mother and father have contributed to being here. Spiky Joe might be the slightest bit insane. And the Koopinator takes the Master's dedication to battle to scary heights.
Taking a break from our regularly scheduled "exclusive to the Glitz Pit" battles, we're going to be seeing enemy types first seen in the Glitz Pit.
Excellent, I want to use one.
You weren't expecting cops, were you? Green Fuzzy, we've seen, but what about Pink?
That's a Green Fuzzy. As you can see, it's a Fuzzy, and it's green. Duh! Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. This is similar to a normal Fuzzy, so it replenishes its own HP as it sucks out ours. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW… That is just the grossest thing ever. …If you don't find that idea gross, seriously, there's something wrong with you. The main difference between this and other Fuzzies is that this one multiplies. You know, I bet this thing would look great sitting next to a Gold Fuzzy.
That's a Flower Fuzzy. Wow, what a totally pretty Fuzzy, don'tcha think? Max HP is 6, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. This thing attacks by boinging in and sucking out FP. How uncool! We need FP! Once it charges up its own FP, it uses magical attacks. Better beat it before it does. Oh! I just got it! It's a Flower Fuzzy because it sucks your FP (Flower Points)! Duuuuuuh! Hee hee!
Green Fuzzies are renamed Forest Fuzzies from 64, and have identical functionality, including the duplicating thing. Flower Fuzzies are a different take on a third-tier Fuzzy, and instead of draining for 3 HP, they drain for 3 FP. It knows a thunder shockwave attack that hits both Mario and the Partner for 3 damage, an attack that costs 4 FP- and the Flower Fuzzy will actually consume this FP. You can't track this, though, but know it starts with none.
You want a special move? I'll give you a special move! Clock Out's a good way to get some Tattles.
And I am not dealing with you.
Aw man, I needed that...
Ah well. I've got Stylishes.
...Cake!
Koops: Hey, that looks pretty good! You could probably get a quick energy boost from it...
Flurrie: Oh, my! That looks delightful! I see no reason why you shouldn't treat yourself!
Dr. Agon: Man, that looks AWESOME! I'm drooling!
Free cake!
...Hey, free Star Power heal, too! If you don't eat this cake, Shellshock will have it during your next match.
Goombella: Wow, are you like, watching your weight or something? I could NOT say no to that...
Koops: Really? Boy, you have some willpower, Mario. It looks so delicious...
Flurrie: Well, if you say so, dear. I suppose cake isn't exactly the ideal athlete's food. ♥
Dr. Agon: What's up with you, Gonzales? Who says no to free cake? You're insane!
Dialogue for saying no to the cake. Flurrie sounds like she's on a diet if you accept it with her out, although she'll gladly throw it aside.
Shellshock: Wow, way to go, baby! I gotta block out how much better you are than me...
Hamma Jamma: My grandpappy used to tell me great hammer stories... World 7-1, that was his 'hood. I'm gonna become champion to honor his memory, man!
Spiky Joe: There's no way a mustache is better than a spike! I mean, that's just crazy-talk! Spikes and mustaches are both bristly, I guess, but that's the ONLY similarity...
Koopinator: You. Condition yourself for each and every battle. For anything could happen beneath the lights... Such is the way of the warrior.
The minor leaguers were more friendly, but I've gotta say I think I like the major leaguers more.
Next up: The stuff of nightmares.
Fortunately, our Condition doesn't stifle us too much. This is one of those fights that can turn ugly if you get something nasty.
...With that said, they really don't look that scary in those colours. Too bright.
That's a Red Magikoopa. It's a Koopa wizard dressed in red. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. Besides using offensive magic, it can also use magic to boost Attack and Defense. When it's alone, this wizard will use magic to multiply. The fact that you can't tell which is the real one after it multiplies is super-annoying. I have to say, though, that shade of red is definitely NOT its color.
That's a Green Magikoopa. It's a Koopa wizard dressed in green. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. It has magic attacks and can also magically electrify allies and make them invisible. Oh, this also says it'll use magic to make copies of itself when it's all alone. …Which is totally lame, 'cause then you can't tell the real deal from the copy!
That's a White Magikoopa. It's a Koopa wizard dressed in white. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. It attacks with magic and can replenish its allies' HP. Better hit it first, huh? Oh, this also says it'll use magic to make copies of itself when it's all alone. …Which is totally lame, 'cause then you can't tell the real deal from the copy!
Even Goombella agrees. These are the only instances of all three Magikoopa colours, so you've gotta Tattle all three here on top of their magic shenanigans.
- Red Magikoopa can apply the Huge status, or give a Courage Shell +3 Def bonus.
- Green Magikoopa can apply Electrify or Invisible to its allies.
- White Magikoopa can heal someone for 8 HP.
They can also attack you for 4 HP, to make sure they bring you down as well as boosting themselves up.
White first, apparently. I'd have gone with Green, but I suppose healing is frustrating enough when I've got one person stalling for time.
Clearly, Green isn't my problem.
Guys. Mario is in the back. You can attack Goombella!
Good time to use this, I guess.
Sayonara, amigo.
And fortunately, he has divided into five rather than attack and kill Mario.
Mario throws out a Dizzy Dial to reveal the real one. And now it is time for me to admit my big oopsie.
This was a failed Multibonk. I looked at his ability to kill Mario and panicked.
Fortunately, I only landed two hits, dealing less damage than a normal Headbonk. And he didn't even punish me by killing Mario anyway.
That takes care of him this time. I really should've just done this the first time.
...Oh great. After the Rank 5 match, you get another surprise battle.
...The hell are you doing here?
Grubba has no idea how to wrap this one up into his stories, and completely brushes aside the use of the name "Mario" to pretend this guy doesn't know who we are.
Bowser showing up in Glitzville is... really weird. This isn't the only time Mario and Bowser will come to blows during the main story- the second battle feels very definitely intentional, considering when it is and what Bowser accomplishes by being present, while this one doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything and is almost entirely brushed aside by the Bowser intermissions. Somehow, I feel like the Mario writers and the Bowser intermission writers weren't talking to each other here.
To add insult to injury, Bowser doesn't even get a boss theme here- his overworld theme continues into the battle for a really low key battle theme. To be fair, some of the themes designed to be boss themes aren't much better. Fortunately, his second battle will include a rockin' theme for him.
That's Bowser! But what's he doing here?!? My mind just blew a fuse! Max HP is 30, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. He's uglier than I expected. He's got a poisonous bite, so watch out! It'll make your HP decrease gradually. Also, if he ground-pounds you, you won't be able to use one of your commands! Just focus your attention on beating him down, Mario!
Bowser brings his three significant attacks from 64 with him to TTYD- his poisonous bite, his Command-stealing stomp, and his fire breath. Unlike 64, all of these attacks do the same damage.
And we need to keep on top of our HP as we go.
At least Flame Breath hits both of us.
...Bowser isn't Spiky in this game? I can never remember which he is in TTYD- he's definitely not in 64 and definitely is in SPM, although it could go either way here.
Since he isn't Spiky, I'll comment he's sorta weak to Shrink as well as Soft.
The Fire Breath also pierces defence. So apparently I have Defence of some kind... didn't help against all those Magikoopas, though.
This is surprisingly close, all things told. He can keep his optimism.
That would've been nice if I was poisoned.
Gotta be careful. Well, if he wasn't on 3 HP.
Goombella Tattled for a spin on the Shine Sprites.
Didn't seem lucky. I can deal.
He leaves the plot as quickly as he enters.
Unlike the Iron Adonis Twins, who can be fudged into having contributed to the plot earlier, I have no idea what adding this scene contributes to the overall goals of Glitzville's story- because it sure as hell isn't doing anything for Bowser. I do have one kinda funny idea, but there is no evidence for it and I feel like there absolutely should be.
"Now give us some time to clean the stench of failure and turtles off the stage..."
Possibly, we're not getting paid more for beating Bowser because of all the upkeep costs having him on a stage that wasn't supposed to have him would entail.
Koops: Umm... Was that King Bowser? What was he doing here? That... kinda freaks me out.
Flurrie: My word! Who would expect THAT lout to show up here? My goodness gracious!
Dr. Agon: Wow! That was the king of the Koopas, wasn't it? WOW! That guy's insane!
And that's the last we'll mention of him.
Shellshock: Hey. You. Gonzales. Since you didn't want that cake, I ate it. Best cake I ever had, man. Sprinkles, frosting, the works. You're an idiot.
And Shellshock gloating about eating the cake if you didn't.
Time for us to go a round with Hamma Jamma and his bestest buddies in the world. This is a rank shift from the normal listing, and sadly, the person who's supposed to be in fourth really wishes he was.
...Fortunately, I am saved by the game's generosity on judging this.
Hamma Jamma is going to make his family proud.
Hamma Jamma: My father decided to quit Hammer Bros. school and go to Business Bros. school... How could he do that? ...I guess it's the responsible thing to do, but sheesh...
Hamma Jamma: By the way, my mother gave me this helmet but told me not to tell my father... Yeah, I left my whole family behind to come make a name for myself... They cheer me... I have to make it to the top for them, man!
Hamma Jamma: My father, the Business Bro, is in the audience today! He worries about me getting hurt doing this kind of work... I can't let him see me lose! If things are going badly, knock him on his back, OK?
I think you're supposed to have a little longer before you get this fight, so they have time to give you these buildup lines. Not entirely sure on the timings, though.
...At least he's not in our audience
That's a Hammer Bro. You know him. He throws hammers. Hence the name. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 1. When his HP drops and he thinks he's in trouble, he'll toss a hammer barrage. Nothing about these guys has changed: they're tough as ever, so brace yourself! Dang! This book always skips the important stuff! How do they carry endless hammers!
That's a Boomerang Bro. This relative of the Hammer Bros. prefers boomerangs. Max HP is 7, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. He attacks twice with his boomerangs: on the way out AND on the way back. When his HP starts getting low, he fights all the harder. Prepare for multiple attacks!
That's a Fire Bro. This relative of the Hammer Bros. spits out fire. Max HP is 7, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. If you get hit by a fireball, you might catch on fire, so guard well, OK? When his HP gets low, he gets desperate and totally starts attacking like a fiend.
Hammer Bro. will appear later on, but this is the only chance to grab Boomerang Bro. and Fire Bro. Hammer Bro has been nerfed since 64- his Hammers no longer apply the Shrink status.
- Hammer Bro. will throw one 4 Atk Hammer at high health, and multiple 2 Atk Hammers at low health.
- Boomerang Bro. will throw one 2 Atk Boomerang at high health, and two 1 Atk Boomerangs at low health. These hit both Mario and the Partner and hit twice.
- Fire Bro. can spit one 3 Atk fireball, two 2 Atk fireballs, or 6 1 Atk fireballs. All fireballs have a chance of inflicting burn if not blocked.
Boomerang and Fire Bro. first appeared in Super Mario Bros. 3, but it seems they took a few console generations to find their footing as recurring variants of the Hammer Bro. All three make for devastatingly tricky opponents to fight in the right circumstances- Hammer Bro. is scariest when he's in front of and above you, Boomerang Bro. when he's on the other side of a horizontal obstacle course and slightly below you, and Fire Bro. when he's pelting you from a vantage point at a horizontal distance. This dynamic doesn't translate to the RPGs, leaving the Bros. feeling slightly same-y. Hence why we're only going to be seeing Hammer Bro. beyond this point.
I'm not sure what the threshold is on them doing their dangerous blitz attacks, but since I need to leave some of these alive long enough to Tattle them, dealing some damage is probably a good idea. Hence, Multibounce.
Here's a Boomerang Bro's attack.
Got you, get lost.
Dangit.
...Did I perfect-block a Boomerang throw? Wow.
Right, enough out of you. Hammer Bro. is reasonable.
And also Mario can oneshot him. So long, Hamma Jamma.
Following Rank 4, we get another mail at last. I was promised more of these.
They really have to hide these things out there, do they?
If you've forgotten, it's just south of the item shop.
As we leave, we are accosted by Rawk Hawk in a space he is allowed to be in.
No belt this time, huh?
Rawk Hawk has gotten extremely defensive over the fact he's no longer Grubba's golden boy. Must get boring beating the Koopinator all the time, huh?
He makes his threat and then wanders off. You can see him continue up the hallway as the textbox prints.
It was certainly unsportsmanlike conduct, and I don't believe real wrestlers ever do this unless the public is watching.
Goombella offers this suggestion, and the game certainly wants you to consider the possiblity that Rawk Hawk is the one who sent the hate email. However, Rawk Hawk's gripes are about us doing the job we are supposed to be doing well. Whoever it was that flamed us was telling us to stop doing things we weren't supposed to be doing.
Koops: Hey! Who does that guy think he is, threatening us? But wait... Threatening us... Maybe that hate mail came from Rawk Hawk! Well, one way or the other, we need to be really careful from now on.
Flurrie: That chicken is rather rude. I hardly think it's necessary to resort to threats... But wait a moment... Could it be that the nasty e-mail came from him? I suppose we can't know. And regardless of who sent it, we must be more careful.
Dr. Agon: Yeah, you BETTER keep walking, you punk chicken! YOU HEAR ME TALKING?!? Hey! Wait! I wonder... You think THAT idiot sent us that hate mail? I guess it doesn't matter. SOMEBODY hates us, so we better watch our steps.
I love how Dr. Agon has been born for five minutes and is already the average resident of New York.
Someone left us a key in the telephone. Presumably X.
And tells us "go and use that key." No faith in us, do they?
Goombella: The storage room in the arena now? Sheesh! What next? This guy's got us running all over! It's driving me totally nuts!
Koops: Now we have to go to some storage room? Man... This seems like a lot of legwork. Is this guy just playing with us?
Flurrie: Now we're to break into the storage room? Mercy! This fellow seems to like making us run about... I can't say I approve.
Of course Dr. Agon is complaining when he has to lug this keister around.
Goldbob: Ah, it's you, Gonzales! I should say you have Rawk Hawk's attention now, hmmm? Yes, I've a feeling you might just become the champion one day not long from now!
Sylvia: Combat sports do SO repel me, but my dear Bub WILL be a corporate VP one day... I hear those boardrooms can get quite heated. Perhaps he SHOULD know self-defense... I wonder if there are any reputable self-defense tutors around here...
Bub: Hey, I saw you in a fight! Yeah! You're real strong! My daddy was real happy! People who my daddy likes become really great, mostly! You're gonna be great, too!
Goldbob continues to be so wealthy it's obscene. At least he likes us.
Doogan: So... I heard you're ranked pretty high in the major league these days, guy... Yeah, I definitely have to look into this pro-fighting racket. Must be simple...
Please don't. Just don't.
We get to the storage room, and it sounds like someone beat us to it. Jolene is very annoyed that Security is unclear on who the culprit is. She is expressing actual emotion while berating the guy.
The Security guy tried his best.
...All this fuss over a storage room? Kinda gives me second thoughts about having a look inside...
As soon as she turns around and spots us, she jumps down our throat immediately.
...Yep. Something around here is fishy, and I ain't talking about Stewart.
At last, Ms. Mowz has made her appearance!
...You did know she was here, right? She was hanging out in the lobby very obviously.
Koops: Oh! Ms. Mowz! Hi there! Are you stealing something again? How exciting for you! Hey, by the way, a security guard heard you in here. Were you making noise?
Flurrie: Why, if it isn't the young lady felon! I don't approve of you following Mario, dear. You've grown careless, too. Did you know that Security heard you making noise here?
Dr. Agon: Are you a friend of Gonzales? I didn't know he hung with crooks... and you look like one. Security was talking about noises in here... Did you make noise while you stole stuff?
The partner takes the time to judge Ms. Mowz for being detected at all, completely ignoring the fact that she escaped a thorough investigation.
Ms. Mowz decides to deny the claim that the noise being investigated was her own.
Koops: Oh, sure, right, of course! I didn't mean to doubt you, Ms. Mowz...
Flurrie: Are you absolutely sure? You didn't make just a little bit of noise, dear?
Dr. Agon: Well, whatever, lady... But you ARE a thief, right?
Goombella and Flurrie dismiss this notion, and Koops tries to claim he didn't doubt her at all. Dr. Agon just wants to make sure he's got things clear about what Ms. Mowz is and why exactly I know her.
There are plenty of Badges in here for us to take.
And, once again, we get a parting chu.
Dr. Agon: Is that what's called a kiss? I heard about those things! I'm jealous! Only you get it?
Of course we had to get one of those jokes, didn't we? I am so glad they're finally killing this joke- Ms. Mowz is done with her regular cameos. We're not done with Ms. Mowz, though.
...Poor souls? You... you know there's other people in the room?
Ms. Mowz's regular dramatic exit is cut short by the lack of window to leap from (I expect her to jump off Glitzville to get back home), so she uses the door like a normal person.
Koops: Boy, Ms. Mowz sure is cute. Too bad I sound like such a dork whenever I talk to her. Hey, but enough of that... What was that last thing she said, about people upstairs?
Flurrie: Well, I daresay she IS a thief, hm? She certainly stole your lips with ease, Mario! But that's hardly important... What might she have meant by "poor souls upstairs"?
Dr. Agon: Well, she took off, huh? What was that kiss like? I gotta get me one of those... Hey, but what do you think she meant about somebody being upstairs, huh?
You know... I think I remember something about an attic?
They say... there's a room in the Glitz Pit with a second floor but no stairs... They say... no one has ever gone upstairs... And some say... that groaning voices sometimes come from that second floor...
Looks like we're exploring another one of Bandy Andy's mystery Wonders. I told him it was just an attic...
All we gotta do is find it.
Well, I found a Star Piece!
The crates in this room have nothing of value in them? Then where is the Glitz Pit storing all the stuff it does need? No wonder no one cleans the minor league locker room.
Behind these crates is Charge P (1 BP), in case the idea of +2 Atk on the Partner changes your mind. Goombella now has all of Goombario's moves- and with Power Plus P, his power, too.
SUPER HAMMER TIME!
There's the hidden staircase.
...Dangit. Who even locks a door behind a locked door, anyway?
At least we got this.
...I wonder...
You'll see this HP Plus P Badge if you smash the block. This one's the freebie for your collection.
Down we go.
In here, we can find a ventilation duct with a peephole into...
Grubba's room? This ventilation duct is actually considered in Grubba's room- if you Tattle with Goombella, she'll use the "Grubba's room" Tattle and not a new one.
Jolene is reporting the breach in storage room security to her boss.
And reassuring him that nobody suspects it was anything more than it was.
Goombella and Flurrie giggle, suspecting the noise was indeed a rat...
Well, duh, we smashed all those crates. With that said, though... damn, that's actually not a line I expected to hear Grubba say aloud.
...King K?
You guys lost him too?
HE DIDN'T RETIRE!?
Just washing your hands of him, are you? I suppose you've already hired his replacement...
They say... sometimes fighters disappear for no reason, never to return... Some say... that the very first champion, Prince Mush, was spirited away in this way...
The Glitz Pit totally has a problem with fighters disappearing for unnatural causes. That guy who went home in an ambulance was one of the lucky ones...
That is not an unreasonable concern.
Especially since you have yet to produce an alternative theory.
...Don't say anything. We already think King K retired. Say something official and it'll start to smell fishy. If it doesn't already.
I don't think there's any room to doubt one of these two knows more than they let on. The only question is... which one of them?
And one of them is regularly taking undocumented leaves of absence...
Jolene tells him that her home life is her business and to keep his nose, wherever it may be, out of it. That is the end of the discussion, and as much as I agree with Jolene, now might not be the time to deny it so guardedly.
Grubba presses on with the questions, changing tack to something completely unrelated. The Dubious Paper has crossed his desk, it seems.
...Jolene totally did read it after she confiscated it, didn't she?
...Which means she didn't turn it in to Grubba...
Well, that is an unpleasant conversation over. Jolene is probably going to panic now.
...
We are the only thing holding the Glitz Pit together.
If it wasn't for X stringing us along to figure out how to get our hands on the real Crystal Star, the Glitz Pit might collapse under its own weight. And the worst part is... I think I prefer it still standing. Who knows what the owner of the Crystal Star might do if they can't keep going with what they're doing... that is, if they're still here to begin with...
Yep. Those fighters didn't go missing for no reason.
Koops: Mario! Did you get all that? Fighters are going missing! Talk about scary! I figured King K just took an early retirement and headed home...
Flurrie: Good gracious me! Did you hear what I just heard? Missing fighters? How absolutely heartrending! That poor, sweet King K... I just assumed he had retired to his hometown...
Dr. Agon: Whoa, Gonzales! WHOA! Did you hear that?!? Fighters are going missing, dude! That ain't cool! Was that guy talking about King K, the minor-leaguer? I thought he retired!
Poor guy. We owe it to him to-
...Not talk in the vents.
...
Well, Jolene said it was just a rat?
Pleaseworkpleaseworkpleasework-
(Side note, the datamine has four instances of each textbox you can make, which means the partner is presumably the one making the noise. Weird that they do so, though, since they do not change the text at all.)
Substitute "ol' kitty" and "burping beetle" as appropriate. Grubba was fooled.
And off he goes. No more convenient exposition for us.
You'll say.
Goombella catches on to how both Grubba and Jolene were behaving suspiciously. Although she doesn't necessarily know what conclusions she can draw, and which one she can press for more.
Let's... let the heat die down, first.
Koops: Wow, that was TOO close. So, Mario, you heard that part about the Crystal Star, right? Ms. Jolene acted pretty weird, I thought. Kind of suspicious... We can look into it later, I guess. For now, we better clear out before they find us.
Flurrie: Mercy! My, that was close! I say, though, Mario, when that Grubba gentleman spoke of the Crystal Star... I couldn't help but notice that Ms. Jolene acted a touch strange... Well, I do believe that we'd best make ourselves scarce before we're found!
Dr. Agon: Whoa! Whoa, man! We dodged a bullet there! Hey, but did you hear that guy blabbing about the Crystal Star? That Jolene lady acted pretty guilty when he let that one slip out... Well, whatever. For now, we better bail before somebody finds us up here!
Goombella is the only one to cast suspicion on Grubba for the random question. Everyone else only saw Jolene get cornered by the questioning.
We leave the vents through this grate.
Right, back to fighting for Grubba's amusement and the continued existence of this fight club.
All that good luck had to run out eventually. Fortunately, this one's a decent one to get this condition for.
You can see why this guy is supposed to be Rank 4, right?
That's a Dark Craw. Yikes. What a ghastly-looking spear-thrower. Max HP is 20, Attack is 6, and Defense is 0. Wow, that's some serious Attack power. You don't wanna Jump on it if its spear is pointing up. 'Cause that… would hurt. For a run-of-the-mill spear-tosser, he sure looks like he's got a POINT to make! Ha ha!
Dark Craw is a regular enemy in the Pit of 100 Trials on floors 61-70, and here in the Glitz Pit, he's a mini-boss until his own, and the game has decided one of them is just fine. Despite the distinction between Dark Craw and normal Craws, the only regular Craw we will fight in the game is Gus.
Even in the endgame, 20 damage in a single blow isn't something we can just have.
And we have to take five of these. Or so you'd think.
It turns out the game is very generous about what it means to "take damage from your opponent." Goombella jumping on his spiked spear counts.
Although it does mean I have to chase all the X-Nauts out.
Thankfully, he's also throwing spears at Goombella as well as Mario, too.
That's that dealt with.
Well, that's information we didn't have last time. Our hate mailer has connected themselves to the Crystal Stars. And the missing people.
Koops: Oh, goody, this guy again. He really seems to know a whole lot of stuff... Those missing fighters... The Crystal Star... You know, if we find this guy, we'll have all the answers! But who could it be?
Flurrie: Oh, dear, our surly friend... For such a pill, he does seem to know a fair bit. Between the Crystal Star and those poor, missing fighters... This fellow seems to know everything we've been trying to find out! But who is he?
Dr. Agon: This guy really needs to take a chill pill. He sure knows a lot, though... He's going on about the Crystal Star, the missing fighters, all that stuff... I tell you what, we find this guy, we'll have all the answers we need! But who is this psycho?
Unfortunately, Mario's idea of caller ID leaves a lot to be desired, and we will have to investigate this one the old-fashioned way. How does he have custom ringtones but no idea how to trace an email? I mean, yeah, it would break the plot so he goes right to the X-Naut Base, but still.
Next time: The mystery unfolds.
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