Don't worry, everyone, we have still cleared 5-1. We just have to walk all the way back through it to get to where we were.
And apparently fill our inventory again.
The poor Stone Buzzy, watching as we bully him some more.
Whee! That kinda makes up for it.
Again?
Did I just phase through that guy by switching? That can sometimes happen, but I didn't think it took that long.
This is how I think you're "intended" to fight Muths.
Or you can do this, if you're feeling muscular.
Lets you just pile up the mammoths.
Whoo. Actually, I think I needed another one of those for the recipe. Never mind.
Three screens. We're already done. This was probably the best time to eject from a chapter halfway through.
No eyecatches on the second go around, incidentally.
...Hm...
Tut. Didn't work.
Apparently I didn't clean out my inventory enough.
Seriously, who needs that much stuff?
I'm using up the stuff I'm gathering in the first place!
Our destination was five screens from the very beginning of the chapter, two of which involved a minimal amount of walking. This tall pillar of one block stacked jumps, not very fun to do repeatedly, is where we use those tablets we've been finding.
Once you find the hidden block at the top to get even higher, of course.
Don't forget: Earth, Water, Fire. I'm not sure if anything happens if you get it wrong.
Something certainly happens if we get it right, though.
A new Pixl literally... appears. Wonder what he did to get the extra effort in the sealing.
...Did you say something? I don't think you did.
I don't think it actually changes anything to offer a different answer.
...You know, he's definitely got a point.
And that... kinda comes out of nowhere. Does fit in, though. We've got eight letters to come up with something really inspirational.
I think I got something good.
It gets the Pixl so pumped that it flies around the screen a few laps, before heading to the centre of the three pedestals.
And yells your inputted word for the whole mountain range to hear. Yep, he likes it.
I picked up a few more while I was at it- it's so much easier when you're save stating and not using the in-game save system (do you really want to climb up here every time?). There's more, but I'm not going to deluge you with 'em.
A mixture of girl power, explosiveness and revolution.
All traits not usually associated with Peach, actually.
...
You're just going to drop that on us and not elaborate? I guess Tippi was also a non-Pixl first too... Wait, does that apply to everyone?
Never mind, we're just going to pick up Cudge and act like nothing happened. Because honestly, nothing has.
Now, you remember how in the RPGs, the Jump was superior to the Hammer? SPM figured out that balance. Cudge does double damage, like Boomer and Thudley, but comes out fast and comes out in front of you, where most enemies will come from. The range is kinda crap, but that doesn't matter. If you have Cudge out, he's a surprisingly useful partner to have for crowd control and close-quarters combat. His field use is smashing all those yellow blocks we've been seeing- there's no Hammer upgrades (not that there were Boot upgrades), so he's mostly a sidegrade on Boomer, but I absolutely like having him along.
Then let out! When you swing your hammer, Cudge swings too. I'm not 100% sure how the hitbox functions, but in some deep close-quarters, I get the slightest inclination that Cudge's swing also has its own hitbox. Maybe your swing just has a hitbox on your back as well as your front.
Bowser and Mario's swings. Mario's swing is pretty familiar, of course, although Bowser is hilarious. Onehanded, even.
That's Cudge, a Pixl that allows you to hammer things with titanic force... Cudge was locked away in the stone monument in the sky above the Gap of Crag... Cudge is very enthusiastic about hammering things into oblivion...
Let's facilitate that.
Wow, that's a great glide. Not quite the edge of the screen, though. It was just really tempting.
Take that, sleeping critters!
Can't hide from me, Floro Sapiens.
This is the ending of the level, but there's a secret if you glide over this direction.
Max HP: 3, Attack: 2. It's a Buzzy Beetle with a rock-hard shell. You'll have to stomp on it a few times to crack it. You may feel a little guilty, but push through it.
It's a Catch Card that doesn't help us offensively, despite depicting an enemy. One more for the collection, at any rate.
After repelling O'Chunks, Mario and Co. followed the Floro Sapiens underground... Was the hideout of the Floro Sapiens just up ahead? "Wow, it's dark! And narrow!" "Hey, who just kicked me?!" "Sorry. All me." Our heroes followed the long, dark corridor, listening to echoes of their own voices. As they groped their way along, the light at the end of the tunnel grew brighter... They had finally arrived at the inner sanctums of the Floro Sapiens... The Cragnons kidnapped from Downtown of Crag had to be around somewhere...
I wonder who kicked who. It kinda has to be Peach/Mario in some arrangement, because Bowser in either position sounds like a recipe for disaster.
I don't think this is supposed to be read as the "substitute swear" reading of crag, although you are free to do so.
No dialogue to start us off, just a half-decent dungeon theme that still manages to wear on you for how maze-like this place can get.
Right away, we have some kind of branch and no promise on which direction we want.
This was a Mushroom.
Oh, there's our dialogue. Say...
It's Chapter 5 and I was starting to wonder where the buffoonish explorer was.
Flint Cragley is an accomplished documentarian, not an explorer, although he does base his documentaries on his exploration of the great unknown. His particular fondness is for overly long titles and putting his name on things.
Unlike Kolorado and Flavio, who were comedic because they were the butt of the joke, Flint Cragley is actually more canny than he makes himself out to be, even if he is a bit of a useless idiot. Ironically, he is the only one of the three not actually in it for the treasure.
Here he is actually analysing his brand's efficacy and how well he targets his audience.
Like Flavio, he's a bit rude. The continued brusque treatment of others combined with Flint Cragley's heightened awareness makes things come off a little worse in practice, but this is more prominent later.
Tippi: Ah, excuse me... Sir?
Peach: Um... Hello?
Anyway, what's going on here?
I think this works best if we're Bowser.
Especially since he totally looks like he's going to eat Cragley.
Was he actually filming that? We caught him brainstorming titles. As mentioned, his canniness has only somewhat helped him: He does have his foolish streak.
I have no idea whether he's supposed to be sarcastic. It reads sarcastic, but it's also reading this line.
Weekly airings for a documentarian? Yeah, I think I understand your problem. That's neither healthy nor sustainable.
I guess that's why there's so much fiction it.
The pot calling the kettle black.
...You have a key to this place? How did you set that up?
You see what I mean about Cragley's greater awareness making him worse than Flavio? Where Flavio's rudeness was based in naievete and unfamiliar social circles, Cragley's comes off more as he intends to hurt the people he insults.
Tippi: If we run into them... Fine.
Peach: Certainly! I'd be glad to pass along the message.
Peach is the only one actually willing to actively make an effort to lend a hand. Tippi and Bowser kinda feel OK leaving him to tap his foot impatiently. Find them yourself, cragtrotter.
That's Flint Cragley the explorer, star and director of "Flint Cragley, Cragtrotter." A living legend in the land of the Cragnons, he has many tales... He's a superstar... A hip, sweet, handsome, tough guy! Flint continues to seek answers even today! At least, that's... according to his official site...
He has his own website?
The elevators are so we can get back up, not so we can fall down safer. There's nothing down there.
This is the door we need to unlock with that key.
Yep, slipped into the pipe there. We'll get out fine.
This is a Spike Top. It's a Buzzy Beetle with...well, a spike on top of its shell... Max HP is 1, Attack is 2, and Defense is 3. Even flames won't scorch its hard shell... On top of that, it has a spike. What can we do about this prickly foe...? Throw something at it or use an item... That spike can cause a painful poke... I suggest you just leave it be...
Now that we have the hammer to counter them, we can see Spike Top alongside the Buzzy Beetles of the caves. Aside from being spiked, they behave identically to Buzzy Beetles- unlike Spike Tops in the platformers, who hug the edges of platforms.
We've come a long way since we last saw Buzzies. Now we can properly kill them and not just send them rocketing around the room in their shells.
...Yeah, why not, put that guy out of his misery too.
So then... let's find that crew.
Ah, one of these kinds of rooms.
Complete with looking much different in 3D.
That odd, horned creature is called a Spania. Its Max HP is 6 and Attack is 1. Those horns will ruin your day if you try to stomp it... If it sees you, it'll come at you, even if you have flipped to another dimension... It might be better to avoid this unpleasant beast altogether...
For... some reason, SPM has brought back Spania and only Spania. It was a good pick from TTYD's menagerie, however: It can chase us through 3D, and those spikes make it hard to take out (as if jumping on them when they spin around so fast is easy). I do think Spinia and Spunia had a place, too, but clearly they only thought Spania had a place.
We'll fight it later.
Uh... sure, I'll take that.
Cudge is not so great at those Piranha Plants. Thanks, Pal Pills.
That is a lot of spiky enemies incoming.
Glad someone found a use for these.
Not much around here, it turns out.
Speed Flower, you know, in the middle of cramped quarters with spiky enemies. And no real comboes, either.
Whoo.
Secret vine in the only 3D block around here. Not much pointing at this, though.
It's a coin heaven minigame.
Ending with coins to jump down into.
...Hm. That's awfully suspicious.
For now, I'm backtracking to check on that minigame again.
Absolutely nothing further ahead.
Quite frankly, I'm not any sure I'm clearer navigating this area than you guys are watching me.
These bits are the parts that you should be able to track, but I never got good at.
These minecarts carry you throughout the caves to this jaunty tune. It's an auto-scroller with absolutely no control. Well, OK, there's one thing you can do.
And this is the only place where it's worth doing it.
By default, this is where we are dumped at the end of this railcart.
And there's absolutely nothing here. Well, OK, that's not true.
That Cragnon has been brainwashed with a strange sprout by the Floro Sapiens... Max HP is 10 and Attack is 1. They will attack any intruder... They aren't so tough, but if you stomp one, your score will go down... They are usually found in the mine, looking for gems for King Croacus...
The Floro Caverns are crawling with Floro Cragniens, Cragnons wearing Floro Sprouts on their heads. These ones will start to swarm you, but ones in 2D usually just walk back and forward. Jumping on them deducts 100 points from your score, but cannot deduct levels- it just makes it take longer to get your next one.
You can explore the minecart areas- the track is tangible, but you must walk on it while there's nothing underfoot.
Going into 3D reveals that we can slip into a side passage here- and in fact, it looks like the points are heading that way anyway. Although I feel like the cart should derail going backwards against the straight end.
And yeah, we can just go over and over these hills.
...Huh, just going to ignore that side route? I know navigation is hard, but wow.
It may look like a rock, but you can break it with a hammer. Flip and look at it...
Down here, we can find a block pretending to be a rock.
All it's doing is hiding a Shroom Shake.
That I can't even hold.
Right, you again. Let's try this for real.
You can ride the minecart in 3D, and may choose whether you're in 3D or 2D at any time. While in the minecart, the Flip Gauge does not count down.
The only reason to be in 3D other than personal preference is to take this turn.
While Mario can walk here in 3D on his own, he can't get past these dips without the minecart's random (and automatic) ability to flip underneath these lips.
It even works in 2D. I have no idea what the hell it's doing, but it's the only way to progress.
Neat, golden ladder. No different from a normal ladder.
Oh great, Cragniens mixed with normal enemies.
Turns out there was nothing down there.
Of course we ought to have taken the top road first.
Look, a crewman! Are we sure Cragley needs a boom mike?
He seems OK, despite being lost in a cave infested with brainwashing plant monsters.
Tippi: You're part of Flint's crew, are you not? He's been looking for you...
Bowser: You part of that idiot's crew? Get back and report to your boss, you lazy worm!
Peach is the only one who seems to remember that these guys are lost, not slacking.
At any rate, we always tell him where to wander off looking.
If you didn't go down first or into that little pipe, this might actually be your introduction to Floro Cragniens.
He doesn't explain the negative point penalty for jumping on them, and almost kind of implies that Floro Cragniens are actually challenging opponents to face. They're not.
That's Hornfels, Flint's sound guy... He diligently records Flint's every noise... But the majority of his work involves taking care of Flint rather than recording him...
"Hornfels get degree in boom mike to get out of babysitting job."
Anyway, here's a hint for dealing with Floro Cragniens:
Flip into the dimension you don't care about and throw them in there.
So what happens if we go back in 2D?
We do actually turn towards the camera like there's a third dimension.
Anyway, I've never been 100% clear on how to get rid of this rock, but there is clearly a secret behind it...
Turns out you just blow it up.
All that hype for coins.
I love that Tattle, though.
Take it out on that one brick block in particular.
I love how useless that spring looks in 3D.
That brick block has something in it, since you can't blow it up from above.
Just what I needed!
It's just going over the wall to get to this brick block.
Some of the shenanigans you can get up to with perspective switching can be funny, even if this is the disappointing outcome.
Time for the loop-de-loops.
And the jumps.
This really wears out its welcome when you're lost.
Flipping into 3D reveals you can break through to get in here.
Just the one, though. Not that we needed both.
...Well, that's a curious cubby hole.
This particular leg of the caverns is where the cameraman is hiding. Implying that all of the hamming it up Cragley did for the cameras had no purpose other than practicing.
...Have you been there?
Did you get it on film?
Wow. OK, he's an asshole, and he might even deserve it a little, but still. He is one of the last hopes of your people.
Tippi: You're one of that Cragley gentleman's crew members? He's requested your return...
Peach: You're part of the Cragley camera crew, correct? Yes, well, he's looking for you.
Let's get him back to his pet idiot. I wonder which one of them had the key, anyway...
...I am both amazed and not entirely surprised.
...How does this job pay, anyway?
Max HP: 6, Attack: 1. This horned beast will charge right at you. Stay light on your feet or you'll be skewered!
One of these in here. We just missed it being actually mechanically useful, but hey, I did kinda "grind" to get that strong.
Eep, Cragniens and Zombie Shroom in the same room.
The jumps and loop-de-loops in 3D.
Anyway, we just need to get back here. Remember, if you're that lost, it's not a million screens to come here by Return Pipe.
...Maybe this was the chapter for a Chapter -4 Back Cursya...
Glad he's grateful for the assistance, by the way. We may have developed computers and boom mikes, but we're still a few centuries out from unions.
...Is he going to be narrating the whole thing? If so, he needs to up his game, seriously.
Huh, apparently it's Hornfels who should've had the key.
...Uh... wait, hold on, guys...
Well, I guess Flint didn't actually remember which of his two crewmates was supposed to be holding the key.
Idiot.
Monzo did apparently have the key on him at one point.
But not anymore.
Flint jumps right to accusing him of incompetence, and even narrates about it. Man, you two need to quit.
...This is definitely starting to sound a mite familiar...
Yep. This entire exchange is kinda reeking of the same vibes as what Beldam did in TTYD to be characterised as an abusive elder sister. As much as Flint being a bad boss is part of his character, I don't think equating him to Beldam is fair to either one- although admittedly, Beldam was "redeemed"...
As far as Flint is concerned, the fact that he actually proceeds to check his pockets is proof that this buffoonery is to be blamed on him actually being a buffoon, rather than Beldam doing it to make it look like she is less competent than she is in a long-game bid to progress her own evil ambitions.
What do you know? Flint did have the thing the whole time! No, you do have to save Hornfels and Monzo to get him to find it, it's not one of those "keep harassing him and he finds it on his own" situations. Although I am sure he would gladly abandon the two if it were.
Oh, take credit for your own fuckups.
Seriously, mate. You're not maintaining your dignity.
Hornfels: Cragley spaced key, huh?
Monzo: Yah, totally. Right in pocket.
Hornfels: Figures, brah. What a crag.
Monzo: Yah, serious. Big surprise.
When the textbox "Lucky turn of events..." starts printing, Hornfels and Monzo have this small dialogue bubble exchange automatically.
I mean, it better open something.
Are you excited about the idea? OK, yeah, ratings, but I don't exactly think Flint has competition on cragvision.
And, like any horrible boss, offloads the risk onto the nearest sucker.
We'll take that, and in exchange, we'll defang any of those dangers before you and your cameraman need get too close, sound good?
Don't worry, I won't drop it.
...Huh. I'd have thought you'd wait here.
I guess he caught on to my plan to rob him of any usable footage...
Gladly.
Although it looks like the first thing we get is a thrill ride rather than danger.
(With that said, a downhill loop-de-loop probably classifies as danger.)
Now this is more in line with what I was expecting...
Wait, what the hell could be in that? Moreover, where did that come from?
Oh.
Figures Chapter 5 has one of these.
This is probably the one with the most active thought: There's a Cudge block in the middle that will stop you from moving forward, despite the fact we should clearly break it as easily as we break everything else.
Bowser, of course, has a lot of stuff left to break after the time runs out.
The Cudge block was hiding the chapter's ending, as it happens.
...So what's back here?
...Oh. That's disappointing.
This it is.
"You want REAL danger?! How about my duel with the foul Rainbowzilla?!" As the heroes descended into the Floro Caverns, Flint Cragley entertained them all. "Boss. BOSS! Cragnons heard that story 255 times, brah... You making my crag hurt." "Brah, if you count time we weren't tied up, then it 256 times." Mario and Co. glanced over at the weary faces of Flint's crew as they delved deeper. But a light grew... Was it a ray of hope from the Pure Heart, or an evil illusion?
"So why do people watch Flint Cragley, Cragtrotter again?"
Next time: The Floro Sapiens' secret facility.
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