Still worried about Tippi's condition, Mario and friends opened the fifth door. They still needed to find three Pure Hearts... But the imminent destruction of the world was approaching at an alarming pace. Would Mario have enough time to save the day? And what foul trick would Count Bleck and his goons come up with next? This adventure grew more dangerous... and more thrilling... with every step!
A thrilling lead-in into one of the most sedentary chapters in the game.
We'll be going 'round the mountains-
I don't think this area has a particular artstyle. Which honestly doesn't help improve my opinion on it.
Two cavemen walk up and start offering their dance.
In a callback to Super Mario Bros. USA, we appear from a door in mid-air.
Tippi doesn't notice anything particularly strange immediately.
Much like breathing, gravity appears to be opt-in rather than opt-out.
Say hello to the Cragnons, the friendly race who will be appearing in Chapter 5. This is also like one of the only "friendly races" in the game- and definitely the most distinct.
They talk like surfer bros. This kinda wears out its welcome fast.
With that said, they are facing certain extinction, so...
I guess we'll be the good guys...
Even if Bowser doesn't know the meaning of the word.
We see "crag" being used as a substitute for two different swears in as many lines. It also works as a substitution for most of their dialogue.
Despite the context and dialogue tail, that's the Cragnon screaming.
Despite Bowser being the one they see in this playthrough, do note that this "weird-shaped person" can be addressed to any of our Heroes. Although when your society has people with triangle and square heads, perhaps that's more on their idea of "not weird".
I'm not entirely clear on what the Big Rock Who Watches is. It's definitely their god, but it doesn't strike me as anyone else's or meaning "the player", and I think it had nothing to do with our arrival.
No, their kings of evil are much prettier.
Although the Cragnons do recognise that this guy is large, in charge, and if he wanted to, he could make them absolutely miserable. More than they already are.
He will accept (and encourage) "scary". But "ugly"? No, he pulls off this look, sir.
Cragnon: This hairface, brah? But... huh. Thought that Big Rock Who Watches would send someone... cooler.
Cragnon: Bite your crag, brah! Do not doubt power of Big Rock Who Watches!
Peach: Excuse me, but... who are you?
Cragnon: Whoa... Face kind of weird, but... this girl look GOOD, brah. She come to save Cragnons!
Cragnon: Yah... Maybe you right, brah. Big Rock Who Watches answered call of Cragnons!
Peach: Pardon me, but what are you gentlemen talking about?
The conversation is similar for Mario, but the exact opposite for Peach. Her reaction is appropriate, but makes it 100% obvious she has no idea what anyone is saying and kinda makes it difficult to believe she'll later talk to them as if she can.
The Cragnons will gladly take anything in the hopes that it will (somehow) lead to salvation. Despite their spears, we see no real evidence they can really fight back.
So yeah, Bowser or nobody, Bowser is pretty appealing an option.
And we are dragged, kicking and screaming, into helping the Cragnons.
Peach's voice clip when she gets picked up is... distinctly not the right one. She kinda goes "Oh?" instead of "Ahh!"
This Cragnon is the village elder, and I think this is matched by him not really using the surfer lingo "brah" like the others.
Despite the place being inhabited by more than just Cragnons, I think "land of the Cragnons" is all we really know it as.
You may have noticed the boombox in the background. Despite still using rocks and sticks, they don't bat an eye at saying the words "rocket science."
They're brushing over that question of "what are Cragnons" and getting to why the Cragnons want us. Gotta point there, though.
So, what kind of big, bad trouble are you dealing with?
Peach: Danger?
Because Bowser's not afraid of jack.
The Floro Sapiens call themselves that too. I think that's just to make things easier for us, but they do so while not addressing the Cragnons.
They came and kidnapped the Cragnons, despite the fact the Cragnons have no idea why. Yes, we'll be getting to the bottom of that.
Everything they've tried to send to fix the problem hasn't helped.
Oh, you are going to be using "brah". Never mind. So then, about impending extinction...
Bummer, brah!
So weak, brah!
(Jasperoid and Skarn interject with this in the background.)
...If I must. Somehow the Pure Heart is going to tie into this, but the Cragnons don't seem to have it.
Peach: We can't ignore folks in need. Please, leave it to us.
Bowser: "Ooh, smashy smashy!" He really does feel like the perfect Hero for this.
I know it. ...Brah.
...Um, sir, I don't think King Croacus himself arrived. We don't see Croacus at all until the boss fight with him at the end, which makes it seem this is a normal raiding party. This may be to introduce the name "King Croacus" to us, since otherwise he may come out of nowhere. I dunno, I don't think he needed to be mentioned.
Well, if that doesn't give us a trail right to their base. Hold on, Cragnons!
Sit tight. Might be your best option.
Despite the urgency of the situation, at no point during this entire exchange does the conversation switch to any theme more urgent than the 5-1 theme Gap of Crag.
That's Marbald... The elder of the Cragnon tribe... There's something about him that makes people feel like they can't refuse him... He's well respected in town for his ability to resolve conflicts...
So wait, did he just old-man puppy-dog eyes into saving his tribe? Also, some conflict resolver. The Floro Sapiens are still there.
I think the reason I switched Peach in was to get her dialogue branches, and then I just wound up progressing with her.
Because there's more dialogue from the Floro Sapiens out here. We have talking enemies!
Again, no combat music or anything.
Tippi: Mario! These odd creatures seem to know about the Pure Heart!
Bowser: What'd you say?! You! With the petals! What about the Pure Heart?!
...A what? The Ancients trusted the Floro Sapiens with the Pure Heart? Admittedly, the Cragnons may legitimately not have been evolved 1500 years ago, but this is the only time that the Pure Heart is being safekept by the antagonistic force of a chapter.
Thinking on that, I think anyone who remembers that the Pure Hearts are supposed to be scattered by Ancients looking for trustworthy individuals and not just video-gamey "at the end of the Chapters we are playing" is going to start questioning what the hell is going on with this Cragnon/Floro war by this point. I was too young to be one of them when I first saw them.
And look at that! The Floro Sapiens not only namedrop Croacus (in red text, even!), but specify that he is not in the invading force. Why namedrop Croacus with the Cragnons? I'm doubtful they even know who he is. Well, the ones who aren't in the Floro Sapien's grasp, at any rate.
Right, new enemies.
That's a Floro Sapien. These flowery followers of King Croacus live underground... Max HP is 12 and Attack is 3. They can throw their head at enemies. Their stems will keep moving without a head, so watch out for that... No one knows if they think with their heads or bodies... A very mysterious species...
Floro Sapiens throw their flowery heads like boomerangs, with them plonking back on their stems when they run out of line. I think they can regrow them if they lose them, but it's worth noting that both the head and the body have 12 HP, in separate pools.
You only defeat the Sapien if you kill the stem. Once they've thrown the head, they don't care about it. I think jumping on a Sapien whose head is still on does damage to the stem, though.
And make him answer several questions.
The red ones seem to just be elite ranked. They don't have the extra stats to match.
This shot, and only this shot, gets One Shot. There aren't even any textboxes to hold the theme for.
But yeah... after them.
You can't enter the houses right now, but they come back really soon.
That's a crag-vision... It airs a variety of programs... Cragnons watch these a lot...
Cragnons have television? They're moving cave drawings, but they are indeed moving. This one depicts a woman circling around a Yoshi statue.
There's even an item shop! This is the last one in the game. Well, the last one of Howzit's. They do kinda get around that, but even then...
The place we fell down on is at the edge of town, and will be where we appear whenever we revisit the chapter.
Just next door is another tiny little house.
The bridge we saw the Floro Sapiens crossing is an old log thrown over a disgusting river. No swimming allowed, although it won't damage us just for swimming. With that little water, though, we're not swimming in it anyway.
Another too-tiny passage at the end of the room. I wonder if we'll finally be able to use it after this chapter.
A few scenes on entering new rooms in the Gap of Crag will show the Cragnons travelling in the direction you need to go. This time, it is to our left.
This disgusting weed is a Putrid Piranha. It will spew poisonous sludge at you... Max HP is 5 and Attack is 2. If you are poisoned, you will lose HP quickly... Thankfully, most items that restore HP also cure poison. Some say that pollution turned them into poisonous weeds...
Right shows us some new enemies, like Putrid Piranhas coming from pipes. These guys will turn their heads and spit poison at you. Note that they lean over slightly before spitting- not that we have any purely vertical attacks right now to take advantage of it. Even for jump arcs, the projectile matters more than the position.
This is definitely a Stone Buzzy. That rock-hard shell must be heavy... Max HP is 3, Attack is 2, and Defense is ??. Flames won't burn its hard shell... I hear that you can crack its shell if you hit it enough... But I'm a little afraid to see what they look like without their shell...
Over here in 3D, we can find Stone Buzzy, an odd brother of Buzzy Beetle unique to this game. Rather than acting like a budget Koopa Troopa, Stone Buzzy's shell isn't quite strong enough and will crack if you jump on it three times, instantly killing the critter underneath (unlike most turtle-like enemies in Mario, Stone Buzzy is realistic in being unable to live without its shell). This three-bonk rule is a hard rule, unaffected by your current Atk score.
Throwing it at that stuff behind the Putrid Piranha reveals there's enemies back there, too!
That's a Moon Cleft, a rock-hard monster that's covered in spikes... Max HP is 5, Attack is 2, Defense is 2. Flames won't scorch this foe... It might look like a stone at first, but it will move when you get close... Set off an explosion near it to flip it over. Then it'll be vulnerable to attack...
Cleft has returned from Mt. Rugged, although TTYD's naming conventions strike against SPM: Despite having no association with the moon in this game, they retain the name "Moon Cleft" from when the brown ones appeared on the moon in that game. This is an error introduced in the localisations: Their SPM name in JP matches the one used for the brown ones in 64, and differs from the one used by Moon Clefts in TTYD JP.
Behaviourally, they adopt the same patterns used by Bald Clefts in Yold Desert. I think you can jump on them if they're still rocks- they probably won't be, but Carrie allows you to bypass that anyway.
As a poisonous enemy, Putrid Piranha likes to drop healing items. Instead of Dried Shrooms, it goes for the cooking ingredients, which... can fill an inventory quick.
There's a Back Cursya back here, quite possibly the least consequential enemy placement ever made. Come on, we're one screen and like five seconds of movement to get her from the chapter starting point, and the Chapter 5 door is closer to the dumping point than Chapter 3.
That peculiar creature is a Shlorp. It has a very tough skin and will eat anything... Max HP is ??, Attack is 3, and Defense is ??. No attack will work... It is weaker on the inside than the outside, but it will still take some effort...
Down here is yet another new enemy, this one more of a bonus critter than a common encounter in the Land of the Cragnons: Shlorp, the upgraded form of Shlurp, takes two hits from Boomer to blow up, rather than one, but the strategy hasn't... significantly changed.
Just the pacing.
There's Bowser looking dapper in a white tux! Pity the minion that had to wax his shell...
The reward for this optional encounter is Bowser's alternate card, showing him in his wedding design. Again, this chapter really feels like a Bowser chapter, although I'm sure that's just coincidence. Like the Peach (2) card, this is just a collector's item.
Huh, I'm carrying a Cleft in rock form. Presumably, Clefts with their spikes out will poke you.
Yeah, like that.
Happy Flower!
...Ditch.
Max HP: 5, Attack: 2, Defense: 4. It's an evil mineral that looks just like a rock. That is, until it's too late!
...It's a mineral that looks like a mineral? Must be a translation hiccup.
Anyway, the way forward is not down there, Peach needs to glide us over.
Three blocks in a row... Looks like they're part of some kind of mechanism...
These blocks are already in a Used state. Hitting them randomly can get you to the correct solution, but let's see what the game has in mind.
Heading back to the Cragnon village shows everyone opening up their houses and wandering around as NPCs.
Although their panic about their numbered days has not waned.
That's Websterite... He's a Cragnon who likes anything new and trendy... The lives of the Cragnons recently changed pretty dramatically... Like Websterite, many are enjoying lives of convenience now...
The Tattles talking about the Cragnons have to be non-specific, but Websterite got hit pretty badly. I think Tippi is talking about things like cragvision, but really, this feels like something that suits better post-Chapter 5.
That explains why it looks like trash. Although it has blatantly signposted the quarrel the Floro Sapiens have with the Cragnons.
There's a unique twist to it in that the Cragnons think "dumping their trash in the river" is an ecologically friendly "return to nature" approach, although the fact we barely talk to the Cragnons outside the village- as well as the fact this is the only mention of Cragnons dumping in the river- means the game doesn't get much mileage out of this.
That's Marl... This Cragnon loves the water... He's very active and always takes action quickly... He gets carried away easily, but he always makes sure to look out for number one...
He probably got the idea from an errant thought and no one thought to stop him before it became too late.
Easy enough to say, brah.
Fitting his important place on this podium, right under where we start the chapter, this is where we can get the clue on how to proceed.
That's Jasperoid... He's always looking for something of "interest" to do... His idea of interesting things to do is odd, though, and it angers some people...
Thanks for the tip.
I presume this is something that a Cragnon would have brought back if any came alive. Which... is not something we have the impression of.
This Cragnon is so assured of her beauty that she's got no idea why Croacus hasn't added her to his collection yet. I don't think he's into live exhibits.
They don't have faces.
That's Kimberlite... She's a super-confident Cragnon girl... She believes that her prince will ride in on a white Muth and come get her...
We haven't seen Muths yet, but they are elephants (well, mammoths) that are a close enough substitute for a horse for this joke to land.
Shop's still staffed by Howzit, rather than a Cragnon of some kind.
Very little of this is actually worth the price. Super Shroom Shakes are cheaper in Flopside, Life Shrooms in Yold Town. The best deals are Ice Storm (somehow), and the Mystery Box and Primordial Fruit, where there is no competition. Primordial Fruit is needed for some recipes, while the Mystery Box is also a source of a single recipe.
Nobody here. I think they have a game console, though.
Ah, now that's relevant. Who's Flint Cragley?
He's a beloved celebrity, and also a documentarian.
Although perhaps the factualness of these films is in question.
You guys don't have DVD yet? OK, yes, it's impressive you have television at all, but still.
If you say you know who Cragley is, Tuff instead wonders where he's gone. He went out into the thick of danger and hasn't returned, and that's something a lot of people have gotten into around here.
That's Tuff... This young man is all obsessed with Flint Cragley... He admires manly men and therefore worships the cragtrotting host... His motto is apparently, "Flint for life, brah!"
...I'd say don't worry about it that much, but I'm not sure how much it helps.
...
...You guys probably should've spent a little more time in that time period between "caveman" and "information age". I can only imagine where this society is going when it's got computers alongside the wheel.
Right, enter the combination and move along.
Another sighting of the Floro Sapiens! We'll get into the background a little further in this map.
That massive beast is a Muth. They roam the grassy plains of Crag... Max HP is 100 and Attack is 5. They can trample nearly anything... They also have a lot of HP, so they aren't easy to take down... Many Cragnons have risked fighting Muths just to prove their bravery...
This map is where we are introduced to Muth. These guys are massive damage sponges, and it's tricky to jump on their front side, where they're nearly (but not quite) a straight line. And that Atk stat is nothing to sneeze at, either- miss a jump and you're on the receiving end of one, if not more, of those.
And there are lots of them on this map. However, that's no reason to fear.
Now's the time to combo.
Well, OK, I failed this first attempt.
Oh, forgot that part. The Shroom Delicacy at least adds 1000 points to our score once we've chowed it down.
Once I take this one down, we get a Bone-in Cut drop, another item for raising Atk. It's good to have in mind for a recipe, mostly.
Right. Let's bounce.
I didn't know what was going on with these 1000 points for bouncing, but I have since figured out the mechanics: Do you know how, when you jump on enemies in the platformers, you get more points for each successive jump? That combo meter is still in this game, but if you're damaging one enemy multiple times, the combo meter isn't going up... but it's not going down either. By jumping on these Muths after having killed one, I'm getting the score from the dead Muth... over... and over... and over again.
I can't decide whether this is more or less broken than an EXP duplication glitch in a turn-based RPG with conventional stats. I think SPM is so mechanically trivial that a game-breaker like this barely makes a dent.
33,000 points from a single room. A little over 10% of all the points I have gathered up to this point from a single combo. And I could make that higher if I was better at these combo mechanics.
SPM is on the honours system.
...I don't suppose you accept Middle, Right, Left too?
Jasperoid, thankfully, can hook us up with the second answer to this puzzle.
Although this time, we have to invest in this a little more.
Not that this is any comfort once you see what you've got to do.
We just need to ask nicely. Typing the word "please", case-sensitively, into the typing interface. I think this is the first time we've used it since the filename, actually.
...Uh, sure. Gotta get our mileage.
Yes, we have to type this again.
Five. Times. Total.
Manually.
Thank you. Now let us never speak of this again. What a timesave having this code memorised from an earlier playthrough is.
...Or from the sounds of it, looking it up online, because it's a long one. They even stop you to make sure.
Jasperoid: You get tool for writing and come back, brah.
Jasperoid: Wuzzat? You find tool for writing, brah?
Imagine being kicked out of the conversation for not having a real world pen-and-paper (or Notepad file) on you. You can put down the controller for a second, you know.
Lay it on me.
Yes. That is all the one code. Try randomly inputting that.
You get captured by Floro Sapiens, brah.
Now for the long and boring walk back to the blocks.
Middle right left middle... right... middle...
That.
Nothing over here, by the way. The Floro Sapiens came from this direction, but that's just for the audience's benefit.
No, our stop is behind the wall.
Can't go behind this one, though.
There's a niche for something to be hidden here, but there isn't actually any treasure. Maybe a few coins, but at this point, that's no treasure cache.
At last, we make it to Chapter 2. Did you notice that 5-1 was only three screens?
In pursuit of the abducted Cragnons, Mario and Co. headed for the Gap of Crag. What did the Floro Sapiens want? And where was King Croacus with the Pure Heart? Despite their hustling pace, our heroes never caught sight of the Floro Sapiens. But Mario didn't give up. He knew his fleet feet would catch them eventually...
I mean... we caught sight of them multiple times already.
Uh... that's a Squog.
Oh, over there. Sorry, long camera pan.
Right then, level 5-2.
That precarious cactus is a Pokey. It has a max HP of 6. Attack is 2... Unlike other cacti, this one can move. Is it a plant or an animal? Nobody knows... This prickly beast will throw pieces of itself at you... It's very unpleasant... It's covered in spines, so you better not touch it or pick it up...
Pokey returns in a desert-y environment. Pokeys are actually closer to their Paper Mario incarnations than their platformer ones, though- Pokeys in the platformers are characterised by moving slowly but being really hard to jump over, especially if they're positioned correctly and/or have a lot of segments. Pokeys usually appear in the same games as Yoshi, where Yoshi will typically be the main, if not only, way to remove segments. SPM's ridiculously high, floaty jump and the fact all Pokeys come with only four segments make this challenge trivial, in addition to none of our attacks except maybe Thoreau really being something that can knock segments off. As a result, they've switched to Paper Mario's "throw pieces of self" party trick to be a different kind of annoying enemy, and honestly a more annoying one than they ever were in the platformers.
On top of this, without the Fire Flower, Cape Feather or Yoshi, we have to use Bowser or a Pixl to take them out.
Primordial Fruit behind that pipe over there.
It's a Squog. Essentially, these beasts are big, surly Squigs... Max HP is 10 and Attack is 2. Squogs will spit rocks at any enemy they see... The rocks they spit come at you quite fast, but you should be able to beat them easily...
And over there is that new enemy we saw earlier, Squog. These guys are just Squigs with faster rocks and more stats. Although I don't think they're ever put in the annoying places that make bringing it back make sense.
Hey, Keel Mangoes in Chapter 5!
Using a Courage Shell to empty the inventory.
You'll be useful later.
...Never seen that before.
Unlike the river next to the Cragnon village, this one isn't filled with toxic sludge. And there's a down component to it too!
Treasure at the bottom of a pond?
Yes, this is required to complete the game. Don't worry, there's a hint for it, but while we're exploring for goodies, if we happen to stumble on the secret before the hint... well, it beats Jasperoid.
I think you can jump back into the water by being Mario, but if you, personally, can't, there's these to give you a boost.
Anyway, the Floro Sapiens go to their secret underground lair (despite being, you know... plants).
Once they're gone, the pipe retracts and a yellow block covers them up. I guess we're going to be learning how to smash those now.
Peach: Huh! Weird...
Bowser: What am I, blind? Shut up.
I swear, if that line for Bowser actually plays in response to that... look, I know Tippi just came back from being sick and perhaps we ought to cut her a little slack, but there's an upper limit to that.
I find I tend to get Poisoned at good excuses to use my inventory items.
Because my goodness it just won't stop being refilled.
This chubby brawler is called a Clubba. Interestingly, they love to take naps... Max HP is 20 and Attack is 3. They will fall asleep if you lose them, so take them out before they wake up...
Clubba returns from the RPGs to be a platformer enemy. They have high HP and, if awoken, will become a big problem with their spiked club making them spiky from the right angles, but if you can get the drop on them, they're not scary at all. I feel like this is an enemy the platformers could use, but in practice, any enemy that isn't charging directly at you is getting ignored because Mario's too fast-paced.
Wow, this level looks bigger in the third dimension.
Although we can spot a switch hiding behind Brick Blocks pretending to be solid blocks.
I'll be hitting that, please and thank you.
Nice little throwback to 1-2.
Looks like we'll be doing it again, because there's some Cragvision up there that's already standing.
This lumbering Rawbus will bite anything foolish enough to get in its way... Max HP is 10 and Attack is 2. Its only weakness is the glowing spot on its back... Try flipping to 3-D and sneaking around behind it...
Bigger Jawbus enemy in Rawbus. Strategically no different, though.
There's a lot of 3D only ? blocks at the end of this room.
You name it, you can find it in here.
That's a Ghoul Shroom. It is an evil shroom monster that comes out of ? Blocks... Max HP is 10. Attack is 5. It can move very fast in a limited area... Its HP and Attack are high, so be sure to look before you leap...
Ghoul Shrooms are stronger and faster Zombie Shrooms, being even harder to whack for that sweet loot.
I'm rich!
And with my new Bowser Pal Pills, I explore this area behind the 3D section.
...OK, clearly it's significant.
That's a black rock... Its shape looks like it's meant to be burned...
Hm, I suppose it does look a bit like one of those barbs you get from walking too close to shrubs.
Two down, and we don't even need to know where to use them!
Pal Pills can't jump back up here, sadly. Little too low a jump.
That's a Megabite. It's an evil skull that soars through the skies... Max HP is 4 and Attack is 1. It will only take 1 damage per attack... It will eventually fly off, so don’t worry about defeating it every time... No one knows where they come from or where they go...
Ah, hello, you. Megabite is a tricky enemy that fills the role of Metal Slime, even if it's not particularly high in score value. They'll randomly appear in a few levels- this is actually the second-to-last place we can get it to appear, but it's usually the place I find one. Maybe sometimes on Planet Blobule- I'm told they come if you spend a while on a screen. If you can manage to jump on one four times- a tricky prospect, considering its speed, small size, and fondness for hovering outside of your jump's range- you will be rewarded with many coins and a roll on what I'm told is an exciting drop table.
That last part doesn't seem to have rolled in my favour this time.
...Oh, look closely. We need Fleep to get up there.
Aw, all we would see if we did is another showing of "run around the Yoshi". Saw that in the village.
Back to the main room, then.
I'm just using this Bone-in Cut to clear space. I have multiple, and I only need it one. I'll let it wear off before the next boss, or possibly before the next enemy.
After all, I'm going back here first. We can get there pretty easily with a Mario jump, let alone a glide.
Who wants to go into a volcano?
Worst Rock-Paper-Scissors variant ever. What does Water even lose to?
That's a wall painting... Rock... Water... Fire... Right? I wonder if the order they are in matters...
OK, that tells us how many tablets we need, and also that we may need to put them in order. Just need to find the Rock Tablet.
...Or perhaps it's Earth.
Money down here, too.
And if you go around, you can find an Ultra Shroom Shake!
I have so much stuff. Although there's an invisible wall past that drop-off the Bone-in Cut bounces off.
Wow, we're going to fall asleep in 3D over here. That is, if these guys can aim in more than one dimension.
That would be the clue that you've gotta burn the black bush. Also a Mighty Tonic I'm not touching because I have no need of it.
Across this gap I could probably jump over with Mario is another Cragvision with the "go underwater" clue. Wow, all the clues are over here, huh? I guess going backwards is the weird option.
Boss fight time.
Hello, O'Chunks. Little early, but I guess they want to get this out of the way before we start getting into the Floro Sapien stuff.
I don't think this "fine lass" is anyone we know, just some college date O'Chunks clearly didn't care enough about to remember the name of, just the wait.
...Sure. Why not? Whatever lets you sleep at night.
Once again, we're making a joke about O'Chunk's vocabulary, or lack thereof. "Misguided" is where you draw the line? ...I think that's another localisation hiccup, I don't think "misguided" is a fitting word for this line of dialogue.
So how have you improved since last time, Mister?
Bowser: "And I should know, I hammily gloat all the time."
I'm sorry, O'Chunks, but if you don't understand the word "misguided", you are not winning a battle of wits unless the opponent hamstrings their tongue.
Tippi: No matter how often we do this, it will end the same... Just step aside!
O'Chunks: Grah har har har har! Big talk fer a wee li'l weird-lookin' butterfly! I'll be wantin' an apology! In writin'! An' I want it written with yer FACE!
Peach: Sir, we're REALLY in a hurry. Won't you just let us by?
O'Chunks: Ugh... A wee lass, are yeh? Well, I'll not go easy on yeh! Yer a foe o' the count!
Tippi acknowledges O'Chunks's earlier loss, which is more than O'Chunks can say in return. Again, losing the battle of wits. If you bring Peach, though (which is likely, since you just crossed a chasm that tempts a Peach glide), O'Chunks actually alludes to something interesting we'll get into later.
Because apparently O'Chunks isn't allowed to be the only obstacle in our way in his designated chapters, Dimentio shows up to spice things up. To be fair, O'Chunks is not making an active effort to learn new tricks to stop us.
Tippi: Y-You...
Dimentio: Ah! Once again we meet, like two large, hairy vikings on a storm-tossed schooner!
Peach: Y-You...
Dimentio: Ah! Once again we meet, like two magical, savage unicorns in a twilit forest clearing!
I appreciate Dimentio having a different flavourful metaphor for each one. I think the Peach one suits him best, although Mario's isn't that fitting to the plumber himself.
Oh gods, I'm imagining a match against all four members of Team Bleck at once. That seems like delightful chaos and I'm surprised the game didn't go for it. By the point they considered it, the friction between the team has grown to the point I'm not sure they could co-operate that long.
Dimentio's not going to do much for this encounter.
Huh. I never paid much mind to this, but judging by Dimentio's later actions, it is rather likely that Dimentio is telling the truth here. About the acquaintance in the Land of Cragnons, that is, I'm sure him showing up in this fight is 100% more planned than he suggests. We'll see the seeds of this interaction sprout later.
Dimentio will perform a party trick for O'Chunks:
Dimension D. Absolutely no acknowledgement is made about the fact that our strength being multiplied by 256 too makes fighting here redundant.
Dimentio is happy for this to be the only contribution he makes. And hey, if he never comes back to let us out...
O'Chunks has no idea what's going on, but Dimentio shut up and let O'Chunks do the thing he wanted to do, so O'Chunks will gladly accept that outcome.
Gra-googly right back at ya, you Irish Scot.
That's O'Chunks. He's Count Bleck's main muscle... Max HP is 40 and Attack is 2. He can grab you by the feet and hurl you... If you're in reach, he'll toss you, so keep your distance... But you can turn the tables on him and use Thoreau to send him flying...
O'Chunks has literally doubled his stats since last we met, but our attack has tripled with Mario alone, and our bulk has... actually, our bulk hasn't quite doubled yet. Strictly speaking, he does kill us faster this time. He also has this twirling attack, to show that the chances of him landing a hit have improved, even if his defences have not.
O'Chunks has no issue swinging Bowser by the tail like Mario. Yes, they brought the showboating back.
Anyway, I switch to Peach, because I actually learned a new facet of this fight shortly before recording.
O'Chunks actually does have a chivalrous heart, and will go easier on Peach than he does Mario and Bowser. I don't think this effects him behaviourally (ie, he will still choose the same actions as he would if you were Mario), but if he grabs you, he won't throw you around the room silly- he'll huck you a few feet and patiently wait for you to get up without showboating. No, seriously, he won't start moving again until you get up. I think the game will force you back up eventually, but still.
This is seriously my best shot of it, but Dimension D does add something to the O'Chunks fight missing from the original: O'Chunks may tear a chunk out of the sides and throw it at you. This attack won't change the terrain at all, but it does, indeed, show Dimentio contributed to the substance of this fight.
Thoreau, of course, remains the "technical" answer to the fight.
This can get disproportionately fun.
...Er, whoops.
That's better, we're back to Bowser. Although that makes this line surprisingly more fitting.
...Wow, that escalated quickly. I mean, OK, your boss is attempting omnicide, this is probably better than the alternative.
And Bowser is just cold-hearted enough to agree that, between "killing O'Chunks" and "letting him suffer under Count Bleck's tyrannical retribution", the former is the better option. This, of course, assumes the latter is the only possible outcome of not killing him.
Tippi: ...Oh, dear. What shall we do?
Peach: Don't you talk like that!
Tippi and Peach are far less willing to take a man up on his offer to be killed, with Tippi going into a breakdown and Peach going into grief counselling mode. Pretty much what you'd expect of their respective experiences and competencies. In another game, Peach could probably do actually decent work counselling O'Chunks out of this funk.
In all seriousness, honour means only as much as you make of it. Please abandon it for your life. You can always prove yourself later.
Despite the connection, I do not think the two lasses in question are the same girl. This one's referring to someone he is currently aware of and in love with. The time he got stood up implies he was already far enough along the relationship for dating- this girl doesn't know about O'Chunks' feelings. Or doesn't care.
Again, no. I'm kinda trying to stop that from happening.
O'Chunks is interrupted from his flagellation by Dimentio's sudden arrival, presumably his business having concluded. Or he was watching the fight before he went.
O'Chunks treats being interrupted from a suicide attempt with indignant annoyance. The tonal shift is jarring, although I think the "knights value honour above life" commonality amongst stories is why it doesn't look that dissonant.
Dimentio offers a suspicious-sounding suggestion for O'Chunks, as an alternative to dying.
O'Chunks has no time for his suggestion.
Although Dimentio makes the offer more tempting by appealing to his honour. If O'Chunks can contribute to this, he assauges the guilt that failing to kill us directly has left.
And O'Chunks accepts.
And, with his guilty conscience massaged, he turns around and acts like he had the upper hand. His confidence is something to be admired, or at least it would be if it didn't come with that sheer pressure he puts himself under for failing.
...Look, it may have been empty-hearted and stock-standard, but do not call it "drivel". That was a more serious request than anyone except maybe Peach treated it.
O'Chunks is happy to go all in on helping Bleck, without thinking. He figures "clearly, my brain hasn't helped us at all".
Perhaps we should have killed him now.
And with that, both of them run off to go be a nuisance some other time.
Tippi: That fellow is... troubled.
Peach: Goodness... I suppose we should hurry onward...
Tippi and Peach didn't like what they saw, but Bowser only saw the obvious stuff and scoffs at how much of a coward O'Chunks is. I kinda wish they got some more mileage out of the Bowser/O'Chunks connection, but I guess that didn't fit in alternate dialogue routes.
After all this time, we have finally found the Yoshi statue to circle. This is the only reference to Yoshi in SPM.
I'll be taking this, thanks.
And I go... back to Flipside?
All that stuff was burning a hole in my pocket and there's more to come. I decided to stop in town and do some recipes with this stuff while I had it. These are the outcomes for a Keel Mango and Peachy Peach, respectively.
Also this, if you cook Primordial Fruit. Notice how it is inferior to just eating the fruit raw. What a waste.
If you flip into 3D while inside Harold and Gertrude's house, you can find another Cooking Disk.
I used Keel Mango + Peachy Peach, and I think that looks like the best choice in recipe, too. Good one.
I used Peach Juice + Mango Juice. There's a few recipes that look better- substitute a Mighty Tonic for one, and a few other kinds of teas (Koopa Tea, Herb Tea, Gradual Syrup) can be used alongside Mighty Tonic. It doesn't really get that much easier, though, I wouldn't say this recipe is worse.
I'm actually going to finish up there: Next time, we finish off that last bit of 5-2 and plunge after the Floro Sapiens.
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