The chapters you don't enter via pipe have a different theme playing on this screen: rather than the usual Chapter start theme, this is a continuation of the blimp theme.
Now approaching: Glitzville. The second picture is the only part that plays on repeat viewings.
Welcome to the city in the sky.
Koops: Ummm... Yeah, this would be Glitzville, all right... How do they make it float? I mean, it hasn't ever, you know, plunged from the sky or anything, has it?
Flurrie: My, my, my! Glitzville! I've heard that the Glitz Pit is just full of brawny brawls! I must admit, the prospect of some hurly-burly gets me a touch piqued! ♥
Koops sets up foreshadowing about the possibility of the rockets failing that will never be followed up on, while Flurrie seems interested in muscly fighters getting their punch on. Mario doesn't really have a lot of designs that get muscles, but we won't be going without.
...The real question is how exactly we go about doing that. Obviously, there aren't a ton of places to look... which means our obstacle will be...
Well, Star Panel while we figure that one out.
Yup, this is Glitzville. It's so exotic; it feels like we're in another country! This is like an entertainment hub that attracts visitors from all over the world. The Glitz Pit is, obviously, the main attraction. That's where fighters duke it out. To the right: the Fresh Juice Shop. The Hot Dog Stand to the left. Where to first?
It's interesting she compares it to being in a foreign country. Mario rarely talks about foreign nations- when he goes to foreign places, they describe them as "other kingdoms" and only Superstar Saga acknowledges the departure to the point of bringing up passports and border guards. Presumably, these processes are abstracted in games like Sunshine and Dream Team, but with the games not mentioning the names of the countries (if they differ from the capital kingdoms), there's not much to it. Not helped by Rogueport's status as being different to the Mushroom Kingdom being in question.
Shoutouts to the use of a semicolon. There are four in the game, apparently.
The NPCs around here turn out to be surprisingly talkative about plot progress. We'll see why that is later, though.
That's a Doogan. He's really into pro fights. Obviously, he loves the Glitz Pit. You can always tell true fight fans by how totally rabid their opinions are.
I think this applies to more than just pro fighting.
Hot Dogs cannot be used as ingredients in Zess T. recipes, not interested.
You can get this Shine Sprite by hitting a hidden block underneath it.
The building to the right-hand side is a juice stand, selling what I am sure are either sponsored products or performance enhancers. We can buy nothing, leaving this as the equivalent to the tavern.
We can steal this.
This rather intriguingly designed Toad is important, but I don't think she is ever used for anything. I think this line might have been intended for a little later on, it doesn't feel like she's recognises us by reputation and instead by having talked to us before.
Wow, this lady is so pretty! I wonder what her name is. As far as I can tell, she always quietly enjoys her juice in the corner, alone. What is it that mysterious women do to become so mysterious? What a mystery!
To my understanding, they just don't talk.
...Sure.
That's a Doogan fight fan. He seems to be a totally huge Rawk Hawk fan. Know what I think, though? He mostly just wants to win his bets.
Rawk Hawk is a fairly strong and popular fighter in the Glitz Pit, and overall this guy is more making a safe bet than one of favouritism.
That's a Lakitu fight fan. Apparently he thinks Prince Mush is the bomb. Prince Mush must've been a pretty big deal, sounds like. I wish I'd seen him just once.
Prince Mush was a once-great Champion in the Pit, but one day he mysteriously vanished. So, almost certainly going to be our problem.
Over back here, we can see a gigantic switch that will obviously be our problem later-
Wait a second, we have Super Boots, we can hit it now!
The Juice sign folds out and becomes a staircase. The owner never notices nor cares to fix this issue- presumably the loss of signage doesn't hurt his business that much.
There's a Power Plus P up here, and by this point, if we have the BP to afford it, Goombella will be a force to be reckoned with. 4+4 Atk? Koops's 5 and Flurrie's 6 cannot compare, although Koops hits targets Goombella cannot.
Star Piece if you Shell Toss under this sign.
You can Plane Panel from on top of it, although there is no clear benefit to doing so.
It lets us stand on top of the Hot Dog stand, at least.
The Hot Dog heals 5 HP and 5 FP, and does actually possess some value- you will need some for sidequests. I think you can make do with just two, although there are benefits to having more.
I got one, just in case. I didn't actually check ahead for if I'd need Hot Dogs- didn't think I would.
This family of classy Bob-ombs will be recurring characters, and will actually be plot-important later on, but for now they are just regular NPCs.
That's Bub the Bob-omb. He's from a very rich family, so he's kind of spoiled. Still, kids are kids, no matter how big their trust fund is... Aren't they?
Bub usually isn't this spoiled, though. Kinda surprising to hear it.
That's Goldbob the Bob-omb. He's the head of a wealthy business, Goldbobbington's. He's got buckets of ducats, they say. I guess some folks are just good with money!
The father, Goldbob, is fantabulously wealthy, and will gladly brag about how rich he is to anyone and everyone who will listen- and anybody who won't. If you ever hear about him speculating on purchasing something, he totally can afford it. Now, whether he knows or cares how to use it to the fullest advantage is another question- so he usually doesn't wind up following through on the purchase.
That's Sylvia the Bob-omb. She's super-wealthy. She's got a real high-society air around her... Even her perfume smells like money.
Sylvia, like Bub, seems kinda weirdly out-of-character here: While she is rich and proud of it, she prefers to focus her wealth on tangible benefits to the family- later on, chiefly about making sure Bub gets a proper education.
Star Piece behind the phone booth.
You can call the phone and get all sorts of exciting responses.
Well, hi there, Murphy! It's Kroop, the mayor of Petalburg! How's Koops?
Hi, Mario! This is Punio! Stop by every now and then, will you?
Mario! Professor Frankly here! Be careful out there.
Hi, am I the 987,034th caller? Did I win the free tickets?
The local time is now...
..............................................
Snack time?
Huh? Who are you?
..............................................
Prank calls are uncool!
Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Helloooooooo? Helloooooooo! HELLOOOOOOO! HELLOOOOOO!
Hello? No, we don't deliver.
The weather in Glitzville today will be sunny with a chance of more sun. It's above the clouds, stupid.
Hi, Brother! Luigi here. How're you holding up?
There's some funny ones here, although a few of them involve Mario taking the mickey out of the fact he is non-vocal. My favourite is the "it's above the clouds, stupid", although the 987,034th caller is pretty cool.
Huh. Earth Quake. It and the Thunder Bolt don't seem worth it, though.
- The Repel Cape gives the user the Dodgy status, which is basically 64's Cloud Nine. Not quite as good as a Boo's Sheet, and better as a preventative measure rather than a cure.
- The Point Swap will take the HP of whoever it is used on, and switches it with the FP (although it will be capped if the two values don't match). This is a very gimmicky item, and as such, it's actually designed with cooking in mind: Most normal items can be turned into an "opposite" item if they are cooked with a Point Swap. Mushrooms turn into Syrups, Courage Shells into Mr. Softeners, and so on. The best uses seem to be Thunder Rage -> Shooting Star and Repel Cape -> Boo's Sheet, although Spite Pouch -> Ruin Powder is good for one thing I have in mind. For the most part, though... this is really out of the way for that to be super relevant.
Star Piece behind this pot plant.
The inside of the Glitz Pit plays a different, more low-key theme than the outside, although I'm not sure what it's called or how to find it.
This is the Glitz Pit lobby. It's pretty nice, actually! Sturdily built, nice decor. And what can you say about that luxurious chandelier except... FABULOUS!!!
The weird pineapple reporter doesn't seem to be any Mario enemy, but the Lakitu is more recognisable. Clearly they don't recognise Super Mario. Or probably don't care about people they can't use as part of the story they're here to film. It'd be too expensive to go all the way here and not tell a Glitz Pit story.
That's a Toad girl. She's totally in love with that Toad guy working here. Her crush is so powerful, even I'M getting butterflies! They'd be so CUTE together!
This girl builds up a crush on the guy and tries to work her way to confessing over the course of the chapter. She makes it eventually, but because of the sheer number of times the Glitz Pit adds new convoes, it takes her a while.
...I'll be honest, I'm not even seeing what she does.
Well, hello, Ms. Mowz is just standing here.
That's Ms. Mowz, the thief. She jets off to exotic locales to hunt for rare badges. The fact that she's here means the Glitz Pit must have something special...
This is one of the three instances in which Ms. Mowz can be Tattled.
This doesn't count as her obligatory appearance, incidentally. She'll have a few dialogue updates, but eventually she'll make her move for a heist and leave the chapter after meeting us.
That's Toodles the Toad. GOSH, this woman knows how to dress. I'm SO jealous! Even classy ladies like her come to watch the fights. I guess she likes tough guys...
Toodles here is also going to come back later on. For the most part, she's just going to stand here and talk about how the only man her eye's on is the Champion.
These two unfortunate Toads have missed out on the chance to see Prince Mush. One gets the impression he went away a while ago, though.
Poor guys.
These weird specimens are the Glitz Pit Security staff. There are about a dozen of them and each of them gets a unique Goombella Tattle that's only got some slight difference. I've also heard the theory these guys are Whackas, which... well, I can see it, but that would be weird and funny.
This guy is Glitz Pit Security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. This guy must be a former Mr. Mushroom Kingdom. I bet he's buffer than the fighters.
I'm not sure which security guard this one is, but it's an interesting conclusion she draws. Not only implying we're in the Mushroom Kingdom, but also that the Mushroom Kingdom has a strength competition. And none of the participants ever help Mario out.
(All the Security Tattles replace only that third sentence with another comment on the security guard's buffness.)
There's another cameraman here, too.
Anyway, to progress, we have to go through one of the sets of double doors and watch a fight.
I decided hey, might as well do a top seat fight. If you enter from the bottom, you get to watch from the ground. Nothing really changes- even the camera angles have a more objective view of the important bits.
Koops: Wow! This place is so cool! Hey, Mario, look up there! There's a battle match going on right now!
Flurrie: Oh, dear me! What a positively glorious venue! Oh, mercy, Mario! Look there! Those two brutes are about to have at each other!
...Honestly, I think we have the worse vantage point here.
Say hello to Rawk Hawk, Champion of the Glitz Pit and owner of about 75% of all the muscle you are going to see. As a professional fighter, he is probably contractually obligated to make as many "RAAAWK!" puns as he can get away with.
The Koopinator, the next-strongest fighter in the Glitz Pit, is totally flattened by his acrobatic moves.
The Glitz Pit is heavily inspired by, although not exclusively intended to be, pro-wrestling. This sort of brutal, high-on-insults low-on-substance blathering is a favourite of Heel wrestlers (wrestlers whose job it is to make the crowd hate them), and Rawk Hawk is clearly meant to evoke such.
One thing that makes the Glitz Pit differ from professional wrestling as we know it is that the Glitz Pit is not scripted. All fights that happen in the Glitz Pit occur with nobody in charge being aware of the outcome of the fight. The game seems largely disinterested in how the Glitz Pit functions other than to facilitate regular access to powerful fighters beating each other to a pulp for the amusement of the crowds and the financial interest of wealthy men like Don Pianta, so any long-term storylines seem to be picked up on the fly.
This is Grubba, the promoter of the Glitz Pit. If he is intended to be based on any particular wrestling announcer, it is not particularly obvious from the costuming or vocal tics.
If you've ever seen a wrestling promo, this sounds exactly like what you'd expect.
In some translations of the game, Rawk Hawk will name-drop actual Nintendo fighting games (particularly Super Smash Bros. Melee) in this line.
Rawk Hawk gloats about how he's the Champion of the Glitz Pit.
And sets a big ol' target on his back.
In Glitzville, the Crystal Star is located on the Champion's Belt. Which means, if we want to walk our way out of this place with the Crystal Star in hand, we gotta get our hands on that Belt.
Why shouldn't it be? No one knows what they do, and it's sufficiently shiny.
...
...
Goombella, I'm sorry, but I think there's only one outcome no matter what option we pick. We're going to destroy a valued possession of the Glitz Pit and take the shiny gem for ourselves. We're stealing the damn belt.
Goombella confuses my meaning and objects to stealing the belt from Rawk Hawk in the dead of night because we're good guys.
So she suggests we take our hammer and beat the snot out of the entire League so we can win the belt and then steal it.
Look, if you wanted to see Mario beat up some muscular goons, you should've just asked.
Koops: Ummm... Listen, Mario, I think the world of you, but really... We can't do that. It just wouldn't be right. The way I see it, we have no choice... You gotta fight your way to the top and win that belt fair and square!
Flurrie: Oh, Mario, you adorable man! You do love to joke! We'll do no such thing. I must say, I only see one way to get what we seek. Yes, just one... You must best this champion and take the belt with the power of your machismo!
Koops and Flurrie's reactions to suggesting we steal the belt.
Goombella: There you go! You and I are, like, TOTALLY on the same exact wavelength! Crack a few heads, take a few names, become champ, and nab that belt!
Koops: That's the ticket, Mario! Do this thing RIGHT! All you have to do is become champ and you'll get that belt fair and square!
Flurrie: Oh, you darling man, I'm SO happy to hear you say that! I'd expect nothing less! You're ten times the man of anyone here! You'll be champion in no time! ♥
And the responses for saying we'll win the belt fair and square first. Flurrie certainly has faith we'll manage that part.
Koops: So...I guess we better get started. There must be a novice sign-up somewhere... My tummy's getting upset... Let's find the guy in charge before I lose my nerve!
Flurrie: Let's move on then, shall we? Our next step is to become official fighters, I imagine. Ooh, my heart is positively THUMPING! Let's find whoever is in charge, this minute!
Apparently, we can just walk in and sign up. I always thought there'd be more of a selection process.
Fortunately, it seems that yes, we can just walk up and ask.
He says this, but there are seven doors in the hallway back here.
You can pretty easily tell which door you want, assuming you know what the seven rooms are.
Fortunately, the security guards will tell you what's inside the rooms they're guarding. They seem to assume you're trying to get in, and won't point you to a room you're allowed to go in instead. Security isn't famous for doing that.
Inside this box is a Last Stand badge for Mario. This is the freebie, and there's no real good time to go out of your way to this side of the Glitz Pit to grab it.
This is the entrance to the ring. We'll use these door pretty rarely.
This is the big door I think you could get confused by.
This is a storage room, so it is locked rather than guarded.
The hallway on the other side is another set of major- and minor- locker rooms, as well as the opposite entrance to the ring.
Grubba occupies this room, first door after the corner assuming you entered from the left-hand entrance in the lobby. Security is being very content to allow new blood inside.
Grubba was not informed.
...I would have expected security would be aware of how ready you were for guests.
Fortunately, Grubba changes his tune once he realises what we're here for. Grubba seems pretty fond of new blood. This makes sense in the context of his character, and any raised eyebrows you might have about how easily we walked right in and got an audience with him are smoothed over by this characteristic appreciation for "up-an'-comers".
A lot of young fighters in a place as high-class as this is a bit of a red flag, all told. You'd expect the Glitz Pit, vacation home to the rich, to be full of all the experienced, veteran fighters, the people with salaries comparable to the GDP of a small nation.
Trust me, that's the first time Mario's ever been called "skinny" as an insult.
I don't think this one changes the dialogue. Grubba isn't exactly big on listening.
I think the idea is that this speech applies equally to both responses.
Rich, I'll give you. Being able to afford whatever takes your fancy? Sign everyone up for that. Now, fame... oh wait, I'm Super Mario, too late for that.
Can you believe Grubba's supposed to be old? Doesn't look a day older than Mario!
..."Dreams do come true, even if they ain't yours?" I guess that is the moral of his story- you don't have to dream big to win big- but that is a pretty nonsensical moral. Especially phrased in that order.
He's doing a far better job selling the wealth and fame than the personal satisfaction.
Grubba says "you reading me" and looks at Mario, at which point Mario looks around for who Grubba was looking at before nodding to get him to continue his story. He clearly doesn't give a Squeek's tail about any of this.
He says "walk and talk", but the game doesn't really encourage this as a system, so he's going to talk only at the destination.
Ironically, there is an instance of "walking and talking" in this chapter.
He's taking us on a tour of the cool parts of the Glitz Pit, including the Champion's Room.
Door doesn't have a gigantic lock on it, but apparently it's locked.
Mario already has that. It's not what it's cracked up to be.
Jump cut to the major league locker room. This is the one on the left-hand side. We will eventually fight everyone in this room.
Good to hear. I'll be sure to remember that.
Back to Grubba's office.
...Is "ain't but one" a valid way of double-negativing yourself to "there is one"? I don't think "but" is usually used as a way of changing the polarity of a noun- ie, if he had said "there's but one world champion", I would expect there to be one.
At any rate, his thought requires that there be one world champion.
We're going to have to earn that Belt.
Grubba tells us this. He has no idea what's about to hit him.
Grubba has one more thing to throw at us.
You were expecting a catch, right? Surprisingly, despite how seriously this scene is played up, I don't actually thing any scenes in this story actually use the contract against us. It's weird- surely they could throw some obscure legal-ese to get us in trouble considering the shenanigans we will wind up performing, but no.
Saying no here does have consequences.
Without signing the contract, we can't become a fighter.
However, we can always come back whenever we feel like it. We must sign the contract to continue the story.
However, if we choose not to sign the contract, we actually get free movement around Grubba's office. We will never be allowed to do this again until the very end of the Chapter, and even in a post-Chapter 3 state, our access to this room will be limited.
This is the promoter's room. It's fitting... It has sort of a relaxed authority, y'know? This is where the pairings for each match get decided. Neat!
Goombella's Tattle.
That's Grubba, the Glitz Pit promoter. He talks a good game... a little TOO good. Then again, I guess promoters kinda HAVE to be super-greasy smooth talkers. Besides, it doesn't matter if he's trustworthy. We have to deal with him to be champs.
And the Tattle for Grubba. Come to think of it, I'm not entirely sure we get a chance to Tattle him in normal circumstances elsewhere- he'll usually be in various cutscenes in his role as MC.
There's Star Pieces in here. This is the only one we can get at this point, though.
I didn't get it and, honestly, thank goodness I didn't, but there's actually a speedrunning trick that requires getting the game into exactly this state. If you Spin Jump in exactly the correct position, you can stand on top of this bookshelf. You can then walk into the vent and walk back out to jump right to the Chapter's final sequence. However, even if I wanted to, I couldn't do it now- we don't actually have the ability necessary to come out of the vent. Speedrunners have options for acquiring that ability early.
Anyway, having exhausted the number of ways to entertain myself in this room, I decide to sign the damn contract.
Does anyone ever read these?
Grubba doesn't really like the name "Super Mario" as a fighter's name. Since we're a tag-team fighter, shouldn't we get a name that includes our partner anyway?
There has actually been a wrestler- not a major one- called Mario.
Virtually every character from Glitzville is going to call us Gonzales. I've heard suggestions this might be from "Giant Gonzales", a relatively low-key wrestler in history (and a bit of a sneaky one at that- he wound up using chloroform to win one of his matches). If there is any particular reason why "Gonzales", it escapes me. Perhaps a missed opportunity to make a reference to Captain Lou Albano, Mario's former wrestling star actor from the Super Mario Bros. Super Show.
(If you can't imagine Mario as a former wrestler, you can thank Charles Martinet for that one- he is the only person who auditioned for Mario's first video game VA role- Super Mario 64- without an Albano impersonation at the ready.)
Nods politely.
Mario is, somehow, even less impressed than I am. Paper Mario may be Mario at his least expressive, and yet somehow they have perfectly sold how not into Grubba's shenanigans he is.
Jolene is Grubba's secretary, and she will be handling pretty much everything that requires someone official to be physically present. With that said, I think we never get the opportunity to Tattle her during the course of the Chapter, although there will be opportunities after the fact.
Immediately, one gets the impression that Grubba and Jolene will be Persons of Interest, although the game is far more mysterious about for what purposes.
Jolene, in a professional capacity, is all business, and will punctuate virtually every thought she has with an adjustment of her glasses before moving to her next destination.
Remember how I said there was a walk-and-talk in this Chapter? It's right here. If you signed the contract on the first go, this would be the same cutscene as Grubba not understanding the words.
This has the appearance of "we have the gate shut behind us" that signing a contract entails, but there are no practical consequences here. Hell, we're still allowed to go back to Rogueport. Presumably, this is a consequence of the game having no way to force us to do fights without worrying about our ability to not die- and even then, losing matches in the Glitz Pit has less consequences than elsewhere in the game.
I'm not sure what guidelines these are. I think this is just explaining how fights work, which we are about to go over.
Now, uh, here we have the major-league locker room. A lotta contenders here! Whatcha think, son? Huh? Not exactly glamorous, but it's clean and comfortable. Totally sanitary, too. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I CARE about my fighters, darn it!
Anyone else feeling bait-and-switched, or is it just me?
Yeah, Jolene, that's not going to cut it with the health inspector.
The computer terminal is based on an original model Game Boy Advance. I've only ever seen the SP version myself, so this feels kinda alien to me. I've only seen original Game Boy Advances inside the video games- on various "use your Game Boy Advance now" messages for various GBA connectivity on the Gamecube.
We've already seen the Champ's room and Major League, so we know they use different coloured GBAs. Seems like a missed opportunity to make the minor league use a Game Boy, the major league a Game Boy Colour, and the Champion a GBA. Or, if they were feeling especially daring (and if the console was sufficiently far along pre-development at the time), GB -> GBA -> NDS.
...Hey, wait a second... these are GBAs, my Mailbox is a GBA SP... why doesn't Grubba automatically send emails to force me into my next match if I take too long to enlist in one myself? That would solve the issue of the contract being meaningless while not stepping on the player's toes to reorganise their party setup or gather resources too much. We know the game can track real time for the email mechanic- we'll see it in practice later on.
(I presume the practical answer is that read emails are permanently added to the mailbox, and they didn't want the player to run into any memory leak issues by filling it up with Grubba's junk emails- especially since any penalty for failure to show up may allow the player to reasonably get more emails than just one per fight.)
We are told to Reserve a Match, and then gain control of our character to... hey wait, now we can get Jolene's Tattle!
That’s Grubba’s manager, Jolene. She strikes me as a very driven young woman. She’s a little cold, though... I mean, would it kill her to be a little nicer sometimes?
It amazes me Goombella hasn't found herself on the other end of that more than she has, with her gigantic ball of sass. But yeah, this is the only time we'll be allowed to Tattle Jolene during Chapter 3. Both Grubba and Jolene will stick to cutscenes for the rest of the story.
Mr. Gonzales, I said log on to the terminal, not talk to me. It's right there.
Use the terminal now. Don't you understand basic instructions, Mr. Gonzales?
Jolene can get surprisingly impatient if you get smart with her and don't do the simple thing she has asked you to do.
We can also talk to all these characters. I'll save their Tattles for after we get properly introduced to them.
This is a minor-league locker room. It's kind of, uh... Well, it's pretty disgusting. It's totally different from the first room they showed. The old bait-and-switch... You think they make it totally gross so fighters will try harder to advance?
Again, this is not going to pass muster under the health inspector.
We have two options. We almost never have reason to do the second one.
And if we tried to do it now, Jolene wouldn't let us anyway. I'll have to check it later.
When we pick "Reserve a Match", we will get a video call from Grubba, and he will set up our next match.
He will tell you which of the Glitz Pit's fighters you're about to be matched up against. If you know all the teams and what they're composed of, this is your cue to set up Badges appropriately- you will have the chance to do so.
Grubba will also impose a condition on us. Conditions will be a huge part of this chapter, and they will be a big deal as we progress through the chapter, but for this first battle, the condition will always be "Appeal to the crowd at least once".
We do not get the opportunity to choose what rules we're confused on.
Security will take around 5-10 seconds to show up, at which point we can talk to them and start our match. This time will only advance outside the Pause menu, but it is a time to make sure your Badge and Partner suits the situation you expect to encounter.
If you drop to 0 HP, you don't Game Over, you lose.
This is, I believe, only mostly true. When you get into a fight, your Rank and your opponent's Ranks are the only ones considered. If you win the fight, you get the higher Rank, and if you lose the fight, you get the lower one. As such, I don't think you lose Rank unless you are fighting someone of a lower Rank than yourself to begin with. I'll admit I don't experiment with losing Rank much anyway. Our goal is to hit Champion Rank anyway.
However, Grubba's conditions will be important to how we approach the Glitz Pit.
Your rank will go up if you beat the opponent above you. If you want to be matched against the opponent above you, you'll have to have won your last fight having satisfied Grubba's condition.
...You know, presumably this was what was intended to be the big deal behind signing the contract.
We must beat the people who are Rank 10 to get into Major League.
It turns out that "Not exactly" has amazing dialogue.
But it's not complicated... You're just another dumb meathead, aren't you? Oh, I'm too busy for this... Well, forget it, I guess. Listen carefully this time.
It is pretty complicated, and to be honest, I think a few TTYD players walk away not fully understanding the system themselves. The important thing to keep in mind, and the reason not understanding the system doesn't hurt these players, is that to progress the story, you must win while satisfying the condition. All the other bells and whistles relate to "what happens if you don't do one of those things", and it's easy to not care what happens if you just... don't.
We genuinely don't have anything to do but wait, though. Well, we can sleep in the bed, I guess.
I don't believe we are allowed to leave the room except to do the fight at this point.
I'll try my best.
Every team has two names, one of which is the name Grubba throws out for them before the match as a tagline.
We don't get ours until next match, though.
This interview section only happens for this fight, the Rank 10 team, and the Champion match.
Say hello to the Goomba Bros. Yes, those are Goombas.
Surprisingly, it's the third one who does the talking.
These guys are also super heels.
Hey, I didn't take that long!
We've already been over this with Jolene, things will be just fine.
I think that covered it, anyway.
I always try to Superguard this, but I just missed this time.
If you're the kind of person to button mash, don't despair- the condition appears again before the fight. Although I think you can button mash this, too... maybe do despair a little bit.
Instead of a bell, the Glitz Pit usually uses a gong.
Also, the Glitz Pit battles use the regular battle theme. I'm slightly disappointed too, but...
Koops: Hey! That's no fair! You can't attack before the bell rings! That's cheating! Come on, Mario! We can't let a bunch of cheaters beat us. Let's take them down!
Flurrie: What sort of base cowards attack before the match officially begins? Honestly! Come on, Mario, darling! We shan't lose to lowlifes! Let's teach them a lesson!
They are really getting good at giving each partner a distinctly different, in-character reaction to each situation, aren't they? Even though they're all saying "you attacked us before the bell, that's wrong", they're all objecting to it for slightly different reasons based on personality: Goombella because they're chickens, Koops because he wants to go to the adjudicator and get a tangible consequence, and Flurrie because she is aghast at the nerve.
I'll get to it, I swear.
First of all, despite the fact we're playing to an in-universe Audience, stage mechanics still function correctly, and the audience usually likes to throw heckling items at you if you get First Struck. As such, I almost wonder if, under the hood, the game is actually using this moment to teach you the fact that the mechanical Audience should be treated as business-as-usual. I don't think the game has any way of punishing you for beating up the Audience anyway. Mostly.
"Appeal to the audience once" means either character can Appeal and it counts. The conditions can get nasty later, but if you're unsure what the game allows, odds are the more generous outcome is the one picked. Surprisingly.
Went for the Multibounce, but missed on the last one.
Oh well.
Goombas aren't even worth Star Points.
This choice is purely for flavour. I think the answer is obvious.
For that? I think I'll need a little more.
But hey, if we're breaking out the confetti...
He says this regardless of what you do to win.
I will when you give me actual fights.
Gonzales, that wasn't pretty. Gettin' whupped by a buncha pushovers like that... You won't even make the majors, let alone become champ, fightin' like that! Hey, but never give up, you hear? Now I gotta go, son. Jolene's got yer fight money.
You can lose. You have to try to, though.
I'm not sure how fight money is calculated, although if the game wanted to penalise you for things like "beating up the audience" and "breaking the stage", it could quietly deduct coins from this pretty easily.
(Honestly, I wouldn't be too surprised if it turned out the coins you got were just the same number you would expect to get from any given fight if you did it outside the Pit.)
We also get told we rank up, although this is debatably useful information.
As mentioned (and bemoaned), we don't get a new match until we ask for one.
And the rankings are now viewable.
You will be surprised at what we can do without penalty.
Jolene is nice and will always leave us with a polite farewell. She's serious, but she's not unfriendly.
After nearly every minor-league fight, we get greeted by a friendly fighter, King K. He's a pretty popular character, to a degree.
Even if he is pretty radical.
These aren't all the Minor-Leagues (possibly the rest of them are in the other locker room?), but these guys all get some character to help warm up the Minor League.
Master Crash the Bob-omb is full of advice and will be happy to dispense it regularly BOMB!
He makes sure you know you have to clear the conditions. The opening was a little unclear on this entirely from the game's material, so this is the game making sure you understand satisfying the conditions.
Yeah, if you can ignore him bursting out into random interjections BOMB!, he's nice to talk to.
Although I reserve the right to disagree.
Bandy Andy isn't too big on fighting. Of course, as a Big Bandit, you'd expect this.
He's running around investigating some of the mysteries of the Glitz Pit. He'll be happy to tell us about them, but he won't be doing so from inside the locker room.
He also discusses the bed. You can heal for free- this is the only place in the game where we can really do that, I think. The beds in the major and minor leagues are Heart Blocks, despite being beds, while the Champion's bed is an Inn. We won't rest on the latter often, so it's important to remember that "no Star Power" clause.
Our last NPC is Cleftor.
He's a bit anti-social, and he's the least "useful" of the minor leaguers. He's not without his charms, but he's not winning any prizes.
They'll be happy to help, but don't expect that to extend to their fight scenes.
King K's dialogue is mostly complimenting our game.
That's King K, a fighter. His shell's yellow, but I think he's just a basic Koopa. He seems like a genuinely good guy, Mario. Plus, I dig the way he talks!
Goombella compliments him back.
Master Crash tells us to look cool while fighting- we are entertainers, after all. This is tangible battle advice- this is how we get Star Power, after all. We'll find most of Master Crash's advice is just general battle advice, and while I would not be surprised if you made it this far without knowing some of the stuff he teaches... I don't think he'll have anything I haven't covered?
That's Master Crash, the Bob-omb. He gives really good advice most of the time. Isn't it like, so totally nice to have a mentor who cares about you?
At least he cares.
That's Cleftor. He might sound a bit gruff... But I think he's actually nicer than he sounds, y'know? Maybe he's just a little shy.
Cleftor will take some time before he is talking in multiple textboxes.
We can't talk to Bandy Andy about the Glitz Pit inside the locker room, sadly.
That's Bandy Andy. He's a competitor in this league, but he's never here. Maybe he just doesn't care about being champion...
Almost makes you wonder whether he even signed up to be a fighter first.
If we go outside to wander around, we'll find Rawk Hawk in the middle of a legion of his screaming fans. And yes, they're actually screaming. Also "RAWK MEEEE!" I suppose it's hardly breaking new grounds on the boundaries this game pushes.
Most NPCs will now have new dialogue for us being official Glitz Pit fighters now. They also get new ones for some surprisingly minor Rank milestones.
Ah! The champ, Rawk Hawk. He sure has the star quality you'd expect from a champ. But know what? Who cares? Everybody knows we're gonna be the next champions!
People going gaga over Heels? It's more likely than you think. I'd really rather not, though.
Since these guys are a swarming crowd, you can actually get rid of them by using Mario's Hammer or Flurrie's Gale Force. Slowly, admittedly, but surely.
Rawk Hawk will call you out on it if you get rid of them all.
The Travelling Sisters Three only appear here after we enlist, apparently.
Awww, it's that gross guy, Dupree! What's he doing in Glitzville? How annoying! You don't think he thinks he's on an adventure with us... Do you?
Dupree has also made his appearance- I guess we had enough of a break after Chapter 2 being not open to tourists. This time, though, his sights are set on our mystery lady.
She has a pretty low opinion of Rawk Hawk, all told. Without the scripted nature of the Glitz Pit, Rawk Hawk's Heel behaviour is... well, it doesn't exactly reflect well on him, does it?
She's a Prince Mush fan, who'd have thought? Well, she's a Toad, I guess it's not the biggest of surprises.
The fact that Rawk Hawk is also the first champion following Mush, and considering later reveals about Mush's departure (particularly, how long ago it happened), it does kinda make the Glitz Pit come off as younger than it might seem. Which kinda makes sense- it may be that there hasn't been a manager before Grubba because it's not that old. As a wrestling parallel, the Glitz Pit's young age is echoed by the fact it hasn't yet switched from "wrestling to win" to "wrestling as a story"- this more lax approach is something that could be found in the early days of what would eventually become the WWE.
I'd like to fight him, at any rate.
Goldbob: Ah, you there! Tell me, sir, do you know the whereabouts of the Glitz Pit proprietor? Why do I ask? Dear man, have you seen the crowds? This place is a gold mine! I want to sign a plum sponsorship deal with this wonderful, vulgar place!
Sylvia: I must say, I find combat sports utterly barbarous! Oh, I need a hot steam... Are there no saunas here? If there aren't, I shall just have my hubby install one! Excuse me? Installing saunas on a floating city is against the fire code? I... did not know that. You can't do it? Even for a disgusting amount of cash?
Bub: Mommy says the air is thin here. I think thin air makes Mommy like to yell.
The Goldbobbingtons seem to win the generics' dialogue this time. I'm not sure which family member is my favourite, but they're all good.
We can only enter the red locker room, despite having the qualifications to enter this one. We will never wind up using this door, come to think of it.
The full list of opponents to face in the Glitz Pit. The Ranks we can expect to fight various teams do actually differ from run to run. With that said, though, we will always fight KP Koopas, Pokey Triplets, and Dead Bones as the first three matches, the Armoured Harriers will always be our opponent to get into Major League, and the Koopinator will always be the opponent directly before the Champion, unless I am misinformed. Every other match can be in a different position, although probably not too far away from the positions you see here.
Anyway, since we cleared the condition from the Goomba Bros., we can fight Rank 18.
Looks like King K.'s going to meet us sooner rather than later.
...Now that is a condition for this match. There are a number of conditions one could see:
- Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid usin' yer jump. No jumpin' whatsoever. I wanna see a pure test of power without none of that flouncin' around. You get me? Now get in there an' hand out a whuppin' or two!
- Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid usin' yer hammer! Not even once, son! I wanna see how you do when you ain't got somethin' to beat a fella with. Now get in there an' let's see some acrobatifyin'!
- Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid usin' any of them there special moves! I think the crowd's cravin' a nice, long battle at its simplest and finest! Now get in there an' don't go a-grandstandin'!
- Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid usin' any items! Empty them pockets! Real men don't need no trinkets to help 'em hand out a proper whuppin', you hear? Now get in there an' knock some heads the old-fashioned way, will ya?
- Now
listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid switchin' partners out!
Gotta go with who brung you! A fight to the end, side by side! Now
THAT'S drama! Now get in there an' stand by yer pard!
- Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to keep that pard of yers from attackin'! You hear me? Keep that li'l firebrand in check, got it? Only you attack. Now get in there and show 'em who's boss, now!
- Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to stand pat, OK? Do... not... attack... at all. The crowd loves yer partner, so give 'em what they want! Drive 'em bonkers! Now get in there and share that spotlight!
- Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to use at least one special move, OK? The crowd needs somethin' flashy, you catch my drift? Give 'em a good show. Now get in there an' blow the roof off, son!
- Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid usin' any of them there Flower Points! Yeah, you heard me! Let's see how you do without none of them fancy-pants moves! Now get in there an' show me somethin', son!
- Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to wrap it up in five turns or less! I got a date with a cute little chickadee in just a few, an' I don't wanna be late! Now get in there an' bring this puppy home quick!
- Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to appeal to the crowd at least three times! These fans eat that stuff up. A little grandstandin' from their hero, an' they go nuts! Now get in there an' get 'em riled up, son!
- Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you not to attack fer the first three turns, OK? Fans love it when their heroes make 'em sweat a bit, am I right or am I right? Now get in there an' bring home the bacon!
- Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to let yer enemy damage you five times, OK? It's just so dang borin' when a match is too one-sided, you hear what I'm sayin' to you? Now get in there an' kick some behind!
- Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to win BEFORE you take 20 HP of pain! Our fans don't wanna see a battered hero win by the skin of his teeth, son! Now get in there an' show me some grit, pard!
- Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to win after yer HP goes down to 5! Crowds do love a comeback, don't they! You better diggety-dang believe it! Now get in there an' take a beatin' for ol' Grubba!
These conditions come from the text datamine, which differs from the list found by trial-and-error on most sites that list conditions. Neither list includes something I've observed in practice- most of the later conditions on the list (everything I've included after "use one special move") seems to pop up mostly, if not exclusively, in the major league fights, with the minor league having a simpler set. I've also never seen that "win after getting into Danger" condition, which makes me suspect it's unused.
As for how to win with these conditions, the answer usually depends on what you're fighting. "No Jumping" against KP Koopas is pretty rough, for obvious reasons, and sometimes the condition do be like that. With that said, though, you may subconsciously find yourself complying with the "simpler" conditions in casual play. If you find your best move is being shut off by Grubba, remember the fact he doesn't care about anything else, even if it can be a little unsportsmanlike in practice- use your items, use your special moves. A little unfortunately, I don't think you really have time to go to the shop and get new items after getting your condition. The item shop here in Glitzville is pretty poor, anyway- although Earth Quake and Thunderbolt may just come in handy if you get the wrong condition on some of the dangerous major league fights.
I kinda wish KP was a later match. It would feel so much better plotted if there was a bit of buildup to it- maybe if he came after the Pokey Triplets and Dead Bones, at least. Didn't need to be a huge build-up, it just needed to not happen immediately assuming you won the Goomba Bros. battle while Appealing.
In all normal matches, both sides will rock up around the same time. The opponents usually step on first, at least.
Our title is Merciless Executioner. I... I can't say he's wrong?
At least we're not the only ones.
Before every generic match, your partner has a line. I'm going to be using a lot of Goombella- yes because she's best girl, but also because there'll be a lot of Tattles to pick up. If you didn't get Zap Tap from the Pit, there are only four matches against opponents we've never Tattled before- the Pit of 100 Trials 1-30 adds three more. There are a few enemies that'll only appear in the Glitz Pit, too.
Case in point, these guys.
You can't have a wrestling sendup without a good ol' Michael Buffer reference, I take it. Buffer did MC duties for the WCW.
Gong chime, zoom out, a battle begins.
That's a KP Koopa. It's a Koopa Troopa of a slightly different color. Max HP is 4, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. Looks like its abilities are just like any Koopa… So he oughta be a piece of cake! Don't go easy just because you know King K, Mario… That's what friends are for!
That's a KP Paratroopa. It's a Koopa Paratroopa of a different color. Max HP is 4, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. Its attacks are the same as your average, garden-variety Koopa Paratroopa. So, just do the same thing as always: stomp on it, flip it, and drop its Defense to 0. My Headbonk is pretty effective against it, too. Come on! Let's get him!
KP Koopa and KP Paratroopa are Glitz Pit-exclusive complete recolours of red-shelled Koopa Troopas from Chapter 1. I can only assume this is a joke of some kind- perhaps referencing the yellow-shelled Koopas from Super Mario World- although if they wanted King K.'s fight to stand out, they needed a stat buff at the least. I don't think it's unreasonable for him to just be a normal Koopa, but it is the reason he's the first fight.
Not being allowed to Jump is a bit of a trouble for Koopas. Goombella's Headbonk will make up the difference, but she needs to spend the first two turns Tattling them.
Hammer is doing... non-zero damage.
When Superguard is matching you, though...
Goombella will wait for two turns. And then she will attack.
...I had Quake Hammer the whole time?
They don't even have an updated level for extra Star Points. He may be friendly, but he's not winning any prizes.
The partner also has a parting remark after each fight.
Slowly but surely.
Maybe if you painted your shell blue.
Anyway, Bandy Andy can be found somewhere in the halls if he's not in the minor league locker room.
Presumably against the rules. Which means I'm going to find myself lending a hand.
Seven secrets about a public vacation spot? Sounds like a lot of people have died.
Oh great, there's more weird stuff? What have I gotten myself into?
Bandy Andy will happily tell you all about the Wonders if you ask.
No payment, no "only one at a time", but I do think you need a new conversation for each one. Not a huge obstacle.
The Sealed Wall:
They say... there's a sealed wall in the minor-league locker room... Some say... the remains of fallen athletes are stored in there...
You have any idea how disgusting that would smell? More likely it's just incriminating paper trails.
The Man-Eating Toilet:
They say... in one of the arena's bathrooms, a man-eating toilet lurks... Some say...that anyone who sees this toilet never sees anything again...
Look, I've joked about the Glitz Pit's locked horns with the WHS, but I'm fairly sure this would actually cross the line into non-compliance rather than merely dirty rooms.
The Stairs of Mystery:
They say...there's a room in the Glitz Pit with a second floor but no stairs... They say... no one has ever gone upstairs... And some say... that groaning voices sometimes come from that second floor...
...You young-uns ever heard of an attic?
The Haunted Boudoir:
They say... that the champion's room is haunted... Some say... if you keep still in the room, you'll hear voices whispering from nowhere. Some even say... the voices are athletes who lost to the champion...
If Rawk Hawk's the one starting these rumours, you may need to consider that Rawk Hawk is the one being haunted, and not necessarily his room. Considering everything else about this place doesn't scream high-budget, it could also be paper-thin walls. Then again, surely Rawk Hawk has tried punching the problem to make it go away.
The Spooky Ring-Lights:
My friend's friend's friend told me this one... He said... he saw a strange light leaking under the ring doors when no one was there. He couldn't see inside since the doors were locked. I plan to investigate this myself...
Bandy Andy is indeed looking into this one. This is also why he's out in the hallways, I'm assuming.
The Missing Ones:
They say... sometimes fighters disappear for no reason, never to return... Some say... that the very first champion, Prince Mush, was spirited away in this way...
...Thats... just retirement.
Grubba and Jolene:
Grubba is a strange one... His body is incredibly toned, even though he's past 60. He must have an exceptional training regimen.
Then, there's the matter of Ms. Jolene. They say... she suddenly vanishes at times. Some say... a fighter saw her go into the bathroom and waited for her to come out. ...But she never did.
...Huh? You think it's stranger that someone staked out her bathroom? Good point.
Not technically a single mystery. "The Missing Ones" could probably afford to have been dropped (since a bunch of other mysteries reference the idea of fighters who have met unfortunate accidents in less-than-acceptable circumstances) to split this in two.
And at least Mario acknowledges sexual harassment objections. Outside Lahla.
The Pokeys are the first new enemy in the Pit that actually is a new fight, although we had them in the Pit of 100 Trials already.
Appeal's just fine with me.
You guys are way too creepy for regulations.
What a partner to bring to it.
That's a Pokey. It's a cactus ghoul that's got nasty spines all over its body. Max HP is 4, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. Look at those spines… Those would TOTALLY hurt. If you stomp on it, you'll regret it. Pokeys attack by lobbing parts of their bodies and by charging at you… They can even call friends in for help, so be quick about taking them out.
I believe the Glitz Pit Pokeys can still grow more of them.
OK, sure, guys. Not sure what I'm eating that on, though.
It would really be nice if I wasn't doing 3 damage a hit.
At least this is the time for the Appeal.
And Zap Tap scores the last 1 HP.
...This should be perfect.
Yeah, I think I've got Power Plus P Koops at last.
Aw, poor Koops is so embarassed in these.
...OK, seriously, what's the money rate?
...He says that, but I do have a turtle that completely outclasses any turtle in his team. Yeah, maybe he should consider asking Koopley or Koopie Koo for a hand.
Of course he's getting into trouble. It's Bandy Andy, he lives and breathes it.
Yeah, you'd think there'd be consequences for sticking your nose into places the Glitz Pit doesn't want you searching. That never comes up outside here.
...Bandy Andy was probably the guy who staked out her bathroom, wasn't he?
...How many times has she yelled this, and how many times has Bandy Andy just completely ignored the consequences? Jolene, I understand he's not doing things he's supposed to be doing, but eventually you've gotta stop slapping him on the wrist.
That's how you get people who don't respect your authority.
...Good question. I think Andy is just looking at it as part of the mystery, but on the other hand, staking out a toilet is an extreme way of going about it.
Look at him. He didn't even blink before going and investigating the Pit some more.
Next time: Cleaning out the Minor League.
No comments:
Post a Comment