PM Post-Chapter 4: Piece of Cake

So, what game of cat-and-mouse are we playing with Peach and Bowser today?

Interestingly, it sounds as if the guards are actually playing closer attention to Peach after she gets out. They stop paying attention every time Mario beats a Star Spirit- which may be more related than it sounds. The fact they keep leaving her to her own devices, despite the fact she keeps using that time to escape, either suggests they have good reason to leave their posts or have really bad senses of pattern recognition.

To be fair, the latter option isn't coming out of nowhere.

The easiest way to keep Peach where they want her is to make this secret passage not work.

Peach does not respect Bowser enough. Twink does have a valid reason to be concerned- they were looking right at us when we came out last time, how are they still that thick?

At this point, though, we're done using the actual passage behind the fireplace. Going through that loading zone will now spit us out here directly.

No mincing words, we're using this door today. To be fair, the library and the Chest rooms have already been "used".

Today, the dining room is occupied.

It's Gourmet Guy! This must be where he rocketed to after eating Tayce T.'s cake.

I have a tough time determining whose side Gourmet Guy is on, if any. He is an obstacle for Mario and Peach, but he does turn over his rewards with no complaints. This bit, in particular, really makes him into more of a neutral party.

One of Peach's few character traits established by the platformer games is her love of cooking, and that's something Paper Mario maintains through optional dialogue in Toad Town about the castle's cooking competitions that Bowser has disrupted. They pay absolutely no attention to the fact for this scenario, though, neither acknowledging her angst about being deprived of her hobby nor the fact that this represents a welcome opportunity to indulge. She's just happy to cook because it's a good deed for a guy she's never met and isn't strictly on her side.

This is why people say Peach has no personality, guys. Just sayin'.

Peach: "...I live here."

That, Peach can use. They never lock this door again after Peach is done cooking, which'll come in handy for future intermissions.

Not to be comfused for a Yummy Meal, the inventory item. Peach is not going to be cooking something Tayce T. can make.

Thank you.

Time for the lower floor. There are three doors to use here, one of which leads to the kitchen.

Yes, it is the one guarded by that Koopatrol, why did you ask? But seriously, if that wasn't a decent place for the kitchen, I'd have put it in an easier to access room, from a game design perspective.

Do be careful that, while the Koopatrols here don't patrol the carpet, their flashlights do look into it. I think, at the end of their movement, they touch the wall before turning the corner.

Bob-omb Battlefield's door leads to this room, still under construction. This must be a setting for a later intermission.

Very close very close very close-

Jolly Roger Bay has a Toad in hiding.

This Toad has been hiding in the dresser, and he does not have a gameplan for what he does next.

He's going to stay here in a lose-lose situation until someone else does something. Don't judge him, the fact he escaped at all makes him more competent than the average Toad.

And he goes right back into hiding. This Toad will be important later, but not for any intermissions.

There's a Last Stand Badge here, though. I'm beginning to notice a theme of Badges that increase Mario's capacities while in Danger. That definitely feels like something Peach would want to give him.

Anyway, into Whomp's Fortress we go.

Or, well, the kitchen.

...Somehow, I get the impression this conversation is only going to get worse the more you consider the fact that Peach is not only a regular cook, but one who can compete with Tayce T. in skill.

Rest assured this isn't to make Twink look better- it's fully the blind leading the closed-eyed.

I'm starting to wonder if the writers forgot this is the castle Peach lives in. The whole "being held against her will" gimmick usually has her, rather famously, being held in another castle. This weird state of house-arrest is only explored here in Paper Mario- the few other games that also take her castle, too (looking at Super Mario Galaxy) are platformers that barely give Peach any lines.

Probably isn't Mario's favourite, then. All we ever see Peach bake is cakes, although there's little to judge on how diverse her skills are even within that field.

By the way, yes, we are going to have to go through the process of baking a cake. Since this supposed to be a breather segment, it's not going to be too complicated (I'm 75% sure that, if you try this at home, you are not going to get a cake), but that does mean we're going to be dealing with a lot of tutorial lines from Twink that are going to sound very condescending.

As demonstrated.

I'm not saying the writers had an out for this scenario- if they wanted Peach to bake a cake in a semi-realistic way, using mechanics not seen elsewhere in the game and simplified somewhat so everyone can play along, they had themselves pretty cornered in to bumping into this issue. TTYD reprises the idea of this, but changes the situation to something where this sort of dialogue would be appropriate.

Our luxuriously fresh ingredients. This castle is currently suspended in the air and has been for long enough that the novelty has worn off on the residents of Toad Town. Which member of the Koopa Troop has been restocking these on the quiet? It's probably Kamek.

They'll let you put these in, too. Water, I think, is a valid cooking ingredient in some real-world recipes, although it won't come up in this one.

The cooking ingredients aren't inventory items (Peach has an inventory- she needs it to hold those Badges she's been finding), but can be manually carried by walking from the shelves to the bowl.

Talking to Twink can allow you to progress to the next step. "No" simply boots you out of the textbox, while "Start Over" will bring you back to the start of the process- I think they just let you redo the step you're on, although I wouldn't be surprised if they started you from stage one.

The mixing stage is just button mashing. The setup is "mash for X time and we'll judge how many presses you made" (think like Bombette's Bomb), although I'm not sure what the number of A presses you need is. Most people seem to do it on their first try- considering this game has attacks that require mashing A, you probably only made it this far if you were prepared to do this sort of thing.

Peach's stare. That is all.

Huh, we're holding the butter in a jar this time? Probably makes it look more appetising than if she carried a stick over. (Also possibly fresher? Can you tell I'm not a baker?)

There's another mixing step, but Peach automates it this time. She does know what she's doing, we're just stuck controlling her. In fact, I think this entire step is automated.

And then we get to this step. This is the hard one.

We are tasked with an invisible timer challenge. And, like most invisible timer challenges, I hate starting them.

The timer either starts when a ticking cue sounds, or when you press A to close this textbox. From here, you let the cake sit for ~30 seconds- hope you have a stopwatch handy! (Phones weren't as ubiquitous back when this game was new, and kids wouldn't have them even if they were, so I wonder what most kids used instead.)

To be precise, the window of opportunity for this to cook "correctly" is 23-37 seconds, as calculated by the internal computer (ie, the numbers might be slightly off for complicated computer reasons). The devs probably agreed most kids wouldn't have reliable access to a clock of some kind and expanded the window to accommodate- 7 seconds either side of 30 seconds is extremely generous.

Like with the block in Dry Dry Desert, the variable in which "time this cake has spent cooking" is stored can underflow if you leave it on too long, meaning that if you let the timer continue on until it gets back to the "23-37" second window, you will get a cake that the game considers perfectly acceptable. This time period is around 4.5 years- something you can probably do if you wanted, but that 14 second safety net looks a lot smaller from the other side.

"Well, what are you going to do if I say no?" Probably start you back at stage one.

Peach, meanwhile, is holding this thing with her bare hands. Excuse me, her silk gloved-hands. Despite her fondness for baking, I don't believe any official artwork or content- including content that depicts her in the explicit process of baking- ever deviates from her iconic finery to give her an apron and oven mitts. She gets overalls in the Luncheon Kingdom in Super Mario Odyssey, but she never actually cooks there, implied or otherwise.

Like with the parts of the process that involved us baking, we just have to carry the materials from the shelves to the cake and Peach will handle the process of "putting them on".

Including the process of turning a single strawberry into either multiples or pieces.

I believe Peach and Twink will say this about any cake you made, and the judgement on whether it actually worked is made when Gourmet Guy taste tests it.

You have to pick up the cake and carry it like the ingredients, though.

But the game skips over the process of walking it back to Gourmet Guy's room. Probably for the best- the Koopatrol whose route passes in front of the kitchen starts his walk cycle very close to it, meaning that if you enter the kitchen in a later intermission, you have to quickly walk to a corner to barely make it out of the Koopatrol's path when you leave it. I'm sure Peach could argue her way into not getting (immediately) dragged back to her room with the offer to share the cake- the Koopatrols are dumb enough and Peach's cooking is delicious enough- but it's a bit of a rude setup and the devs made the right call ignoring it.

Rude. Standard "the fat guy thinks the world is ending because he hasn't eaten in five minutes" joke- not pleasant at the best of times, and I never found them funny- but when the reason for his lack of eating is because a prisoner hasn't snuck past the guards and baked a cake from scratch fast enough, it's far more egregious.

Downed in one bite.

And the same skit as Tayce T.'s cake. This would probably be a little more charming if there was another chapter gap in between Mario's encounter and Peach's, but alas.

So who cooks better, Peach or Tayce T.? Gourmet Guy is not going to answer it, and while Peach was going to organise a challenge that would put their dishes in competition (whether she could organise a panel of judges to fairly rate the two is another matter), Bowser well and truly ruined that.

...The game's putting a lot of words into how much horror Bowser is spreading on a metaphysical level, and here I am mourning the loss of the baking competition.

Gourmet Guy directly tells Peach the next objective. While a lot of the areas are "just find a direction and walk there", this is a useful tip to get in-universe. The only way we know to go to an island is to tell somebody which one, even if, as far as the player is concerned, we'll only sail from Toad Town to that island.

The Ice Power Badge we got was given for Pyro Guys, but it is going to be even better in Chapter 5.

I brought up General Guy's "side" in the conflict because this line aggravates the question. He's got no quarrel with Mario, and actively assists him twice, but he also has freedom of movement in Bowser's Castle and Shy Guy's Toy Box. Ish.

Twink's trying his best!

He's just going to get going now.

Twink shuts the window behind him, how polite.

Kammy also comes in here, curious about the noise. Maybe this is a comment on Gourmet Guy's freedom of movement, but Kammy realised it was Peach right away.

Despite being the competent one, it takes Kammy a second glance to remember Peach isn't even supposed to be in this room. Guys, it's one prisoner.

Peach is right back to her room, ready to sneak out again once we've dealt with a volcano.

Muskular meets us directly in Toad Town. Also, his name being "Muskular" and his dialogue here suggests a body-builder theme of some kind, but that's not the impression I get from that hat. Maybe he's supposed to look like a sailor?

His Star Power also doesn't really build on that idea. Skolar and Muskular are the worst off where "Star Spirit and power don't match" is a thing, although I'm not 100% on how much everyone else is supposed to fit.

Not to be confused for the Badge, Chill Out will, for 2 SP, reduce the attack power of all enemies by 3 for four turns. This is not a negotiable status ailment like Shrink, bypassing resistance tables entirely, and it stacks with other statuses- although there's no indicator on when it's due to expire. It's probably far better than most give it credit for, and it's already considered great since it trivialises one of the hardest bosses in the game. Most people forget it works outside that boss, see. Myself included.

Back to theming, I wonder if Skolar and Muskular would work switching powers- Skolar using the more utilitarian Atk down while Muskular using the attacking Star Storm. This would also deprive the player of Star Storm for Chapter 4- although why not have Muskular be the third Star Spirit? (Probably too late in development.) I'd also wonder why Muskular's power is not a buffing one.

Well, that's over-

...You're early, Twink. I guess we are already here in Toad Town.

Twink has an appropriate reaction to unexpectedly finding himself in the presence of the elder of his society.

Muskular does not.

Muskular recognises Twink with minimal thought. I'm not sure what he's using, though, most Star Kids look the same to me. Maybe sound? I can't tell that apart as well.

This is a very quiet setup for a later plot point, but it's not a particularly strong one.

The main takeaway is that Twink is not as useless as he thinks he is. One day he will grow into a fine star, and there's no better time to start than now.

And that's the end of Muskular's segment.

Since Twink's a late riser, I feel like he shouldn't have experience with how the place is run to make this assertion, but if he is supposed to be correct, the Star Spirits are clearly out of touch with how the place is run. No wonder they're not around in later games.

Twink remembers why he showed up in the first place, before getting distracted by Muskular.

Maroi has his destination. Now he just needs to find someone willing to sail him there.

She had to, horror of horrors, bake a cake. None of the intermissions feel like they really fit this line, so I'm not sure if that makes it more or less likely the people who wrote this line weren't talking to the people who wrote the Peach skits.

And off he goes.

Oh joy. As soon as I need to make an ocean voyage, the port is terrified.

Well, it's not like we see ships that travel anywhere else in the port. The absence of one that goes to Lavalava Island seems to be an oversight more than anything on Toad Town's part. Not only do we know a kid has a pen pal there, it's not like the island is hard to get to.

Yeah, not gonna happen. You'd have to be some kinda idiot to resort to that. I wonder if Mario still has a spare Cape Feather.

...Look, the average Mario game has several plot elements that defy belief, but a volcanic island is not one of them.

...That's the way you want to cut that dialogue box? Something's telling me it's the language differences causing an issue here.

To be fair, with most casual fans of Mario, especially women and children, Yoshi is adorable. Even big fans love the guy, although they might actually judge him for his strength as a power-up as well as being a cuddly dinosaur.

...That's your problem with that? Granted, it is the more pressing concern. Can't swim a ludicrous distance if you can't swim at all!

This is all pretty basic stuff.

And the Toad seems to realise that halfway through, and decides to make sure we're keeping up with everything else.

Like most, these Toads protested the presence of the Shy Guys, but now that the dangerous part is over, they've done some reflection.

And they kinda preferred it when the Shy Guys were around? Not like they were, but you know?

Sadly, I don't think the Toy Box ever reforms to the point these girls can move in there. Not that they'd be happy to move out of Toad Town without getting their money's worth from this house.

...What kind of pretentious 'shroom are you that you go "Mario, Mario, Mario"?

...This feels pretty unprofessional on the postmaster's part. Isn't there some sort of rule against this? I know I wouldn't want my boss telling his friends I'm an incompetent worker.

And despite Parakarry's general incompetence, he is, somehow, the right stuff to become the next postmaster one day. Aside from helping Mario out (which barely uses his mailman skills), what does he have that another Paratroopa might not?

This is for one of Koopa Koot's favours this chapter. He has another Cookbook-locked recipe, too, but that's next batch.

Tayce T.'s number one fan is suitably amazed at Tayce T.'s greater recipe list.

And tutorialises one of the more remote aspects of cooking. The Mystery? item, purchasable from Boo's Mansion, will produce a Mistake 50% of the time, and a random one of twenty-three recipes the other 50% of the time. Which ones? I don't think a full list is available, although you can reasonably assume that the high-value ones like the Syrup Ultras, Mushroom Jellies and Deluxe Feast are not included. Cooking a recipe through the Mystery? method will count on the chalkboard.

Cue a Phantom Hourglass joke.

Add another Toad who enjoyed the Shy Guys, minus the whole "robbery" thing.

Standing right next to a Toad who believes the exact opposite.

...Well, me, for one. The warp pipes aren't even that guarded- I don't think there are any enemy spawns guarding them right now.

You work hard at that, Fice T!

He's been working on this through hard work as well as wishes. Although the Boos aren't helping him with proper pacing.

A lot of Toads talking about their wishes, too. We're gradually getting closer to fixing that.

Anyway, I got this a while back and didn't actually go do it, didn't I? Time to fix that.

Time for the other Playroom game, Smash Attack. This one is less luck-based: Still requires a good bit of it, but it's something you can practice.

The way Smash Attack works is that a grid of hammer-able blocks will appear- each "shelf" can be walked up, and the grid is 7x5 large. Ten boxes will contain little squares of Princess Peach, and you must hammer all of these boxes in thirty seconds to achieve victory. The remainder of the boxes will either be empty, contain a Fuzzy that you have to knock off your head to continue, or contain a Bob-omb that will stun you. It costs ten coins to play, and your prize is 10x the remaining time. With a solid strategy, you can make some decent profit here.

I have neither.

Peach Panels, Fuzzies and Bob-ombs will periodically jump out of the boxes. They won't jump to new boxes, merely tell you which boxes they're in.

Yeah, let's just stick to Jump Attack, if I ever need more cash.

All or Nothing (4 BP) is Power Plus for the skilled. If you fail the Action Command, it's a tink, although some attacks that have additional effects will still trigger their effects- a failed Jump on a Paragoomba will turn it into a Goomba. You're not getting Sleep from a Sleep Stomp, though.

HP Plus and FP Plus aren't new, although they are required to complete the chalkboard. These are our third and final of each, and only with them equipped will Ultra Shrooms and Jammin' Jellies not heal you to full.

Just like the Bowser situation, right?

A lot of people seem to like pointing at Rowf today. All or Nothing, or the HP/FP Pluses?

I love how incurious these Toads can be about the port they can walk to.

I guess their worry for their liege keeps them from being too active. Hey, if your princess got captured, do you really want to go poking your nose around somewhere dangerous?

Two letters today, including adding one for Parakarry at last!

Dear Kooper,
How goes the adventure? I can't believe you're hanging with Mario! I'm so jealous! Koopa Village is the same. Kolorado's wife is impatiently awaiting Kolorado's return. You and Kolorado... You guys have so much excitement in your lives. You're so lucky! Anyway, good luck, buddy!
Koover of Koopa Village

You get some fan mail in here, too. Kooper's not the only one who looks up to Kolorado, and now there's someone in Koopa Village who actually earns the accolades he's receiving.

Dear Parakarry,
Thank you for always delivering my mail, despite snow and ice. Because I live in this cold valley so far from my family, the letters I receive are my greatest pleasure in life. Kind words from my wife and daughter give me the strength to continue my work. My heart lifts with joy every time I hear the sound of your wings. May you never molt!
Your Fan, Frost T.

Yes, Frost T. is supposed to be the first letter, for some reason. Despite this character not being someone we're supposed to meet until Chapter 7- or even know about until later. He is an eventual letter recipient, though. ...Which makes me kinda wonder if they should've made this letter based on delivering it, although that would perhaps be asking too much.

If Mario was ever going to collect on that debt, there is no feasible way the Toads could pay it.

...That wasn't too emotional, was it?

The little larceny-lovers known as Shy Guys have finally quit terrorizing the town. Mario tracked them to their Toy Box hideout, valiantly dispersed their ranks, and managed to rescue an imprisoned Star Spirit. To those who would prey on the innocent and weak, we say this: Mario will prevail!

You betcha.

 The entirety of the graffiti. This is foreshadowing for something that happens after Chapter 5. Short version, that's not us getting the coins.

You have a lot of faith in the monster to exist and for me to fight it. I'm sure whatever it is, though, it's my responsibility to deal with it.

Good advice in theory, although I really don't feel like you can beat the Hot Shroom conveniently yet. Yeah, Yummy Meal and Shroom Steak, but Dried Fruit and Life Shrooms aren't exactly burning a hole in your pocket. Maybe I'm just falling into the trap being discussed.

I can't tell if you're well aware of your hypocrisy or blithely oblivious. At least you've stopped panicking. That's an improvement.

...Considering your infidelity, I don't entirely like that suggestion. Yeah, we're talking about Lavalava Island some more, but that's not the date suggestion I'd offer a girl unless we were really comfortable together.

You cannot deny that this girl is comfortable.

Just like Hawaii! Except there's only one island. And far less of a tourist hot-spot.

The dad is taking charge. To an extent. He's at least more in control of his own life than he was before.

...Uh huh. I guess they are still in the Koopa Troop.

There was a reason you married him. Maybe if it wasn't his day off, he could've done something against Bowser.

Way to make an impression.

We'll see... there's some training I want to do first.

You may see symbols above enemies in the battle sequences. These mean that the enemy can make you dizzy, put you to sleep, or call in some reinforcements. When you see those enemies, you should try to paralyze them or put them to sleep before they do it to you. The battle will be much easier if you can make it so your enemies can't move.

This mechanic does not exist in the final game. Nor can I find it on the Cutting Room Floor as a cut mechanic still in the code. This would be a really nice mechanic, too! Guess you've got to stick with Goombario, a guide, and hoping for the best.

Prices for goods go up and down depending on which shop you go to. Of course, it's smarter for you to buy items at a cheaper shop. Be a bargain hunter! You know, if you're a real go-getter, you can even sell items you buy at one shop to another shop. If you have good business sense, you may just make a profit.

There's some obvious ones, like buying hot items in hot places and selling them in cold places, but I don't think the best examples of these occur until Chapter 7. I imagine it's possible with something somewhere.

Ever been to Li'l-Oinks Farm, near Toad Town Station? On that Farm, no more than ten Li'l-Oinks can be in the pen at one time, so when the 11th comes, the first Li'l-Oink runs away and leaves the farm. Whenever a Li'l-Oink runs off, it drops an item. The item dropped depends on what kind of Li'l-Oink it was. Of course, whenever you take one of these items, other Li'l-Oinks will also leave the farm. To grab the item or not to grab the item... that is the question.

The Li'l Oink Farm is so esoteric that its basic functionality is explained by Russ T.

If you take a Koopa Leaf and Dried Pasta to Ms. Tayce T., she will make some scrumptious spaghetti for you. That dish is actually a traditional one, a classic handed down in Koopa Village through many generations. Why don't you try it once, Mario? Come on! You'll love it!

Not every recipe has a clue, but they must figure, since they demand you acquire this item, they should slip you a clue on how to make it somewhere.

Chalkboard check. Yep, doing fine on everything I'm aiming for.

Luigi? He went by so quickly I didn't even catch what he was up to.

...Shifty.

Anyway, we have our own mail to read.

To Mario,
Are you and Goombario doing OK? I'm fine. Oh! This is Goombaria, by the way. Are you having an exciting adventure? Is Goombario being a hero? Or is he just goofing off? You know... I sometimes go shopping in Toad Town with Mom. Maybe we'll see you there. I'd really like to hear some of your exciting stories. I can't wait! Really! You can beat up Bowser- I know it!
Goombaria

...Little odd Goombaria writes us instead of Goombario. Goombario does get family mail, so I guess she just counts that as her own contribution.

Hi there, Mario. Are you eating regularly? You know, breakfast is the most important meal of the day! The Cookbook you gave me really comes in handy. I already knew a lot about recipies, but with this book, I can cook a world of new dishes! I want to tell you about the latest dish I've been cooking. It's unique! It takes a Fire Flower and an Egg to fix it. When I first made it, it blew me away! It might help you on your adventures. Please come visit me with those ingredients!
Tayce T.

A recipe hint for the Egg Bomb. It's a neat item, but that's about all it is here in Paper Mario 64. TTYD gave it something to write home about, though.

Hey, big guy! How're you doing? Rowf of the Badge Shop here. Thanks a bunch for shopping at my place. You're a cool customer! To show you my gratitude, I'll be waiting for you with all my stock 0% off!
Rowf

...I mean, I pay those prices. What can I complain?

I think there's enough chapters left that Luigi's Diary updating 2 pages at a time will end at the end of the game, with everything else.

A Shy Guy appeared at my house the other day. I found it asleep in my bed! Can you believe it? I ran after him, but he was way too fast for me. I heard that a lot of Shy Guys also appeared in Toad Town. Supposedly, they came from Shy Guy's Toy Box. It must be somewhere in town. A Toy Box... I wouldn't mind seeing that. Maybe they have a Nintendo 64!

...How effective is advertising the console you're on? Especially considering the new console is next year?

The whole Goomba family visited me today. They said that Goombario is in the care of my brother, then they gave me a souvenir! It was a Goomnut, a special treat from Goomba Village. It looked so yummy I ate it without telling my brother! My FP increased by 3. .........You think he'll notice?

Don't worry, bro, there's plenty more where that came from. If you want, I can ask Tayce T. to mix it with some Cake Mix for a tasty Big Cookie?

And over to Koot.

The first favour is something that one might expect to be asked- the Bob-ombs next door are blithely disregarding the appropriate noise level ordinance, and someone really ought to tell them to knock it off.

And it's not like they've just started. Well, OK, they have, I think.

Good call.

The solution to the puzzle is to speak to the Bob-ombs with Bombette as your active partner. Maybe I should've talked with Kooper out first.

Bruce: Oh, Bombette!!!!!!
Buddy: Shut up! Please! Right now! Think about something else for two seconds, will ya? You're really starting to get on my nerves!
Bruce: Bombette, I'm putting my whole heart into this next explosion! Watch it and see my true love! Bomb, bomb! Bip-bomb!

Something like that.

But honestly, I'd like to shut this down as fast as anyone else.

And I'm sure Kooper disapproves, too. I'd really like to know what he thinks about the squatters in his house.

Huh, Bombette does express an opinion on her admirers: Disinterest. No means no, you lot.

...Anyone got a spare Fire Flower?

I have a rough estimate, and when he does, you lot are gone.

Groovy!

...I think I preferred doing that quest for Kooper rather than you. Did you have to add the laugh?

Woo hoo!

"I give out Star Pieces every few favours, I don't see what the problem is." I say right after he did give Star Pieces.

This segment kinda autoscrolls. They like doing this sometimes to emphasise a character's motor mouth. Thanks to the Z Button to pull text back, you can actually read what they said.

...So do you need help or not?

He must feel really self-conscious about whatever this is all about.

I went back to Goomba Village to check on the family, since I felt them sending a letter to Mario suspicious, and it turns out I was onto something- Goompa shares the lore on why Goombario is named that. Turns out it was Dad's idea.

He was not prepared for the sort of burden being named after an idol can leave.

Because the devs only want me to have one partner per species? Look, there's no way I can answer "yes" within the mechanics. Maybe Goombario's big enough to take her afterwards.

So anyway, Koopa Koot's errand. I'd joke "of course it's the easy Boo", but there's like one other one in the whole mansion outside Igor.

Sounds like him. I'm using him for all the Star Pieces he's got, though.

...Huh. That explains that. Not sure where Bootler and Goompa fit in, but I'm sure this guy paid less mind.

...He still looks like he has those big eyebrows. I feel like there'd be less brown pixels on top if they were meant to be the frog-like eyes.

Here you go. Something's telling me he doesn't want it back.

...Why is it always talking about the ladies? You'd think nothing else impressive happened to him!

...

...

Cheapskate.

The last favour is short and to the point.

And I came prepared.

Aw, poor Paragoombas. They do tend to do that.

...I know she loves to cook, and feels free to share her dishes with Mario, but how big of a business is she running here? It's not like Tayce T.'s kitchen is a restaurant. (Although perhaps a lot of questions would be answered if it were).

While I was here, I went to check in on Kolorado's wife. Sounds like we'll be seeing more of him this chapter.

His plans for investigating ancient ruins take the flavour of "whatever takes his fancy", and usually does not involve consulting with the missus. It's probable that he didn't even bother to stop home between the Desert dig and this.

There has to be some reason you're married to him. I couldn't believe you would. Honestly, even with a reason, it's still odd.

Time for some questions. This one could've made a decent hint last chapter, like the Lemon Candy hint.

Bombette is the second of these three, but it's not like Goombario is that hard to remember... right? It's mostly his Tattle keeping him in there, yeah.

"Who tried" kinda feels like this was a story event, but no, he's talking about Bandits being able to take coins when they hit you in battle. Mousers steal Eggs, anyway.

Funny you bring that up, when I mentioned the possibility this got switched. Also, the way the randomiser handles acquiring Star Spirits out of order is that you get Star Powers in the order you receive them in the vanilla game (so, Refresh -> Lullaby -> Star Storm -> Chill Out ->), but the Star Spirit who performs them matches the order you acquired them. So, you can totally get a seed where Eldstar or Muskular is doing your Star Storms while Skolar is off doing Lullaby or something.

I think randomisers also don't even have Chuck Quizmo questions this high, if they still even ask you questions at all.

Parcels sound nice. Handbills, if you're unfamiliar, is the name given to advertisement junk mail. Rowf's letter to Mario is a good candidate for an example of a handbill.

There's usually a monarch right next door, the place doesn't need a Mayor. Although considering how often she takes a... "vacation", perhaps a mayor would come in handy...

Gardening book sounds cool.

Somewhere along the way, we've scrambled up enough Star points for whatever our heart desires.

Apparently, my heart desires the ability to use FP moves on mobs. I guess this is as good an opportunity as ever.

I also decided to check to see if I had any Star Pieces I missed.

The animation for Merluvlee reading into the crystal ball is impressive, but man does that dialogue take the wind out of her sails before she really gets going.

I got all the overworld ones. Good to know. Not sure what margins I'm missing.

She says this, and I wonder if this is meant to be a hint that she, rather unhelpfully, can't actually detect these Star Pices.

And yep, if Merluvlee's hint is, by necessity, "there's nothing more you can learn from me", she will refund you your payment. Nice QoL.

Remember how I went without all Chapter 4? Yeah, enough cutting it fine.

Fuzzipede's gone missing. Finally. I feel like he should've considered leaving the port sooner than this.

I'm sure there's plenty of bait that doesn't talk back. Maybe not in the Mario verse, but still. Who's the one selling this unwilling talking bait?

...And no one's taken a closer look?

Oh. Yeah. They're Toads, that is their plan.

We get a Rowf story from the history Toad this time, although what Rowf did special isn't mentioned. He found All or Nothing.

...Whew. I don't think we ever actually see any Doogans that identify as female in either game. A lot of minor Doogans that don't specify any gender, but no real comment on whether Doogans have sexual dimorphism.

Somehow, I doubt this other town was Rogueport. Few businesses last long in that wretched hive of scum and villainy.

...Huh, I don't remember who this is.

...Well, I can't deny he's an odd fellow, but still. I was expecting an unusual species, or at least someone wearing a dumber outfit than an archaeologist's helmet and a British ponce moustache.

You're not required to talk to Kolorado in Dry Dry Desert, but you would be hard-pressed to miss him. I also wonder what happens to his mail if you don't bother to talk to him.

He's here because treaasure, mystery and intrigue. Mostly the funniest parts of those. He's not in this to get rich, but he is only interested in the treasure.

This is a bit of a weird thing in general, and it turns out the answer is in one of those Toad Town News notices we didn't get because we weren't religiously checking it:

Volcano Wakes from Slumber

The once dormant volcano in the South Sea has officially been classified as active. As molten lava can be lethal, travel there is now forbidden.
-TT Meteorological Agency

...OK, lava in the world of Mario is considerably less lethal than real lava, but still. At any rate, this answers a lot of questions I had about travel to Lavalava Island.

I've heard "swimming" be posited as a suggestion.

Right. So this island...

You need to Spin Jump or Hammer it. You may also be able to use Bombette. One or more of these may be added to the randomiser, I usually don't think about this step much outside a game where "having one or both of these options" is in question.

At any rate, we are violently ejected from the confused "island".

Who drifts up and reveals his fishy nature.

Kolorado is virtually the only character who acknowledges this whale in the narrative (the other Toads in port do some of it, I imagine), and he describes it as... a tuna. The man's completely hopeless, and yet I always kinda think of the whale as a tuna instead.

As if us bullying him wasn't bad enough, he's sick, too. Mario really could've considered peaceful means first.

Kolorado's helping!

Marine biology fact: Tunas and whales are more distinct than tunas and plumbers. Equally distinct from Koopas, though. And I have no idea what biological classification Li'l Sparkies would have in the real world.

The whale asks us to take responsibility and lend a hand. Mario tends to accept such requests. Although how much he considers himself at fault is a mystery left behind that shaggy lip...

...Ew.

...Finding Nemo flashbacks. Well, at the very least, far less realistic. But still.

It's completely dark. I can't see a thing. Mario! What's up ahead? You know, being inside a whale belly is gross... Damp... Squishy... Let's never do this again.

Well, until Bowser's Inside Story, a game with nothing but. But you won't be around for that, Goombario.

...Getting you out of here, Jonah? There's a lot of stuff in here, too. This whale might have a body count...

Fuzzipede jumps around the whale, most of the time in the background where you can't catch him. The only part where you can walk is this strip down the middle. It's so frustrating when you're just a little bit off and then he goes and jumps in the background four times...

Once you touch him, a fight starts.

All right, so what's our deal with Fuzzipede (Lv. 43)?

...Well, for starters, this boss fight is completed in darkness, so while Watt is not your active partner, it is too dark to target anything. There is no way to change this. Thankfully, there's only two darkness sections in the game, but as a consequence of this, Fuzzipede is the only enemy in the game who cannot be Tattled. The developers didn't write him one as a just-in-case, either.

Fuzzipede: Max HP of 20, Atk of 3, Def of 0. He can sit in 3 positions- either on the ground, on the crate (where he is considered an Elevated enemy and cannot be whacked with Mario's Hammer) or on the "ceiling" of the whale's ribcage, where he can be hit only by Quake Hammer and Watt (and he'll climb right back up immediately if he's up there). He has two attacks: a headbutt and a headbonk, both doing 3 damage. The headbutt can deny you one of your commands. He can also heal himself for 4 HP if he's low, not that it'll save him.

He's got a 75% chance of Shock with no turn drop.

This is for making an All-Tattles run that much more complicated!

The fact they gave this caterpillar this accent for no obvious reason is amusing.

Maybe he tried to escape from the fisherman by sea. Seems like an easy way of being gobbled.

It must've hurt had we done the sort of battle that involves Quake Hammer. Probably for the best I did that Power Shock strat, then.

I'm not entirely sure what the biological purpose of whalespouts are, although I'm sure it's the equivalent of blowing their nose. Also helps to get all this blockage out- although the crates, bottles and kayak are still in there, undigested.

Fuzzipede proceeds to get scrappy about being gobbled.

...And this kinda makes this whole mess Fuzzipede's fault for not looking where he's swimming? I'm sure there's plenty of things he could've been eaten by here. Whales do have to conscious breathe in order to avoid drowning- they do have lungs, of course- but I don't think that manifests as open-mouth sleeping. Can't find much on it, though.

All's well that ends well.

And off Fuzzipede goes for non-being-eaten activities.

I am Dr. Mario, and I am saving lives! Dr. Mario is, of course, the falling blocks puzzle game that is very definitely not Tetris. I think it's a completely original game- as original as a match-four game can be, I guess.

Even he's calling himself the tuna now.

...So hey, we now have a non-regulated way to cross water. And a need to get to an island.

Fortunately, that's where Kolorado wants to go, too!

Watt points out the whole "we need to go there too". At least she's having fun. Must our protagonists be denied any agency whatsoever?

I'm sure we can get out of it just fine. Mario runs away from erupting lava all the time.

From this point onwards, the whale will be a no-question taxi between Toad Town Port and Lavalava Island. It won't go away during the chapter- although there is a catch.

First time around, of course, Kolorado comes with.

I dunno, this is pretty par for the course for Mario. Just a whale? This is pretty grounded, all things considered.

This cutscene is skippable on repeat fares. That weird seagull gliding around during it is a Goonie, a Yoshi's Island enemy characterised by this peculiar shape. We won't be seeing Goonies anywhere else, so thought I should mention it.

Next time: Things get hot (not the fun way).