Friday 27 May 2022

DQXIS Side Story: The Jinxed Job

After the very sedentary Sylvando Side Story, a nice way to get the energy of the story back up would be to bring in the tough (and popular) Jade for a little violence.

Unlike Sylvando, who was found wandering around in Act 2 (and thus could've had his Side Story anywhere), Jade must end her Side Story in Octagonia.

Well then... that's very concerning.

Perhaps we need to help out the people who have to live with this mess.

And... well, there's no analysis on how bad that is for the overall health of humanity? I guess there's not much to hope for, but still.

Jade knows the one thing Erdward does is help people. And by carrying that burden, she hopes she can get reunited.

If nothing else, at least she's doing the thing Erdward would do.

Jade spawns here in the Dundrasil region, but she's not actually allowed to explore anything outside this open area here. In contrast to Sylvando, there is no overworld movement in this one. Well, OK, this technically counts, I guess.

Jade also has Lorelei's Harp in her inventory... for some reason. Apart from the Horse Hailer from Sylvando (which was a Definitive addition), this is the only key item of Erdward's that winds up in someone else's pocket in Act 2- and it's kind of obvious this is so the game can put Erdward through a plot tunnel that requires getting Jade back. I'd be fine with it if it didn't cause the worst boss in the game to exist.

There are some Vicious great sabrecats out here, and this is the only enemy Jade can trigger a pre-emptive attack on and show off her animation for it. She can also grind off them... you know, if you think you need it. Fortunately, you really don't.

Octagonia's in a particularly rough shape- the monsters are coming from inside the walls!

...I'd say this has something to do wtih the caverns, but monsters can't actually enter the orphanage, so who knows how they bypass that little obstacle.

This guy down here is having a time of it. Most humans that show up wind up in this position at some point.

Monsters, even while they're intended to be menacing, seem to be first and foremost pun machines- you can tell instantly which monster is saying which lines based on what puns are present in the phrasing.

I think Jade goes for the "dramatic jump down" rather than the "off screen teleport downstairs".

Either way, this guy didn't live to tell anyone about the issue.

...Jade... Harvest Moon? Sometime about now would be amazing...

Don't worry about it, happens to the best of us. That's why people usually travel with healers.

I don't think the link between Octagonia and Jade was the reason Jade turns up here, but it's good to see that characters actually do know about that link and acknowledge it.

So then, what's the deal with Octagonia, then?

Ah, Booga. If there's one DQXI monster likely to earn himself a permanent reputation as a boss akin to Murdaw, it'd be this guy.

And say what you will about his methods and attitudes, but he's effective at what he's set out to do.

Whatever fighters that are still left are rallying their spirits to try and do something. And this guy couldn't manage that.

Jade decides she's going to do something about that.

This guy makes the, somewhat reasonable, point that one woman against Booga is probably a losing battle no matter who that one woman is.

Never tell Jade the odds.

Yeah, uh, no, I just got here, and I think a little monster mashing is in order.

Head over to the orphanage, and you can actually find Whambelina hiding out with Vince's kids.

It's not a favourable position- it's a long way to the exit.

I don't think they ever explain what this is and whether it will hold, but it's holding now, and right now, I don't think anyone is in a position to question it.

I think that's most of us.

...

He's got a point.

Yeah, I think that's the least of your problems.

He's talking about the noises from Booga's base of operations. We'll get an idea about that in due time.

Nothing like an apocalypse to make you reconsider your life's choices.

This guy's a moosifer, and we could've found one in the First Forest had it been night time. He'll show up later, anyway.

Oh will you, now? ...Go right ahead, try not to break your neck.

...When DQ wants to get dark, it gets real dark. When Act 2 starts proper, we'll see the extent of that, but there's some cameo appearances in the NPC text around here.

...

...

He'll die happier this way, no point telling him.

Anyway, let's head on up to Upper Octagonia, and... uh... this is new.

The glory days of it being a place of martial artists.

Monster hair or dog hair, it never goes away regardless.

...You do know slaves are more productive when they're not downtrodden? More likely to rebel, admittedly, but I don't think a slave planning on rebelling is going to strike up a conversation.

Slaves are 1000% more useful if they're alive. I feel like even the most evil human beings understand that one.

...I'd say "monsters have lives too", but somehow, I feel like even that doesn't answer the question.

Here's a mention of something that will come up on occasion- Booga is a Spectral Sentinel, one of the six monsters who serves in Mordegon's closest confidence. Dragon Quest likes to dabble in having groups of monsters like this, and every time, it struggles for the same reason: there isn't really a tangible difference between a Spectral Sentinel and an ordinary boss monster. At least one member of the group is likely to get high billing, but other monsters could be part of the group and get squat.

Booga, incidentally, would narratively be in the second group, except his role in the story broke out somewhat and gave him Jade's Side Story to get a little more development.

There's often an implication that monsters can get promoted to Sentinel. When it comes to the Sentinels that are recolours of ordinary monsters (funnily enough, like Booga is), one assumes the promoted monster gets his own recolour in the transition.

At least they (probably) pinch your breasts and butt less than human patrons. And if not, getting more food gives them less opportunity.

...And when I'm saying monsters make better bar patrons than humans, I start to wonder things...

The DQV slaves had the same promise. Hint, it was not kept.

The reward mentioned is a reward in the monster's opinion. Try to imagine it's actually a reward for the humans too.

...I kinda have to laugh, a little bit, but still. Ouch.

A drackmage talking about potions? Possibly a reference to the setup of the Act 2 plot in Octagonia. It's a minor thing, just a mechanical roadhump mandatory to show off part of the monster's plot that wouldn't be obvious otherwise.

Then again, the potion I'm thinking of doesn't really fit this description. Monsters have too many "weird drinks".

Might want to learn how to use that broom as a weapon.

Oh great, now there are people horny for monsters too. Actually, I think this is the girl who kept admiring the Hendrik statue back in Act 1.

Well, if that doesn't establish stakes.

Speaking of DQV slavery, some of the slaves you could try to talk to in that game have this same reaction. Others say the same thing with actual words, but both are depressing.

We'd better go in. This "Yes/No" prompt is a clue that this is your last chance to grind!

There's more slavery going up upstairs, too.

He's up here, but he's not depicted in the last shot.

Here he is. "Swoon-inducer"? He knows beguiling tricks, but that's entirely on his delusions.

And here he is in the flesh. He certainly looks like the sort of monster to be the boss of something.

Whatever his plans were for Jade, however...

Have been... thoroughly distracted.

I've danced around it enough. This is going to be one of those kinds of "woman vs monster" setups.

Would you believe me if I told you part of the point of this Side Story was to tone down the implications of the Jade/Booga interactions? Because I'm legitimately not pulling your leg on that one.

I don't think I can make any arguments on that front. At best, it's an opportunity to kick him where it hurts- and the shoes to make it stick.

"Her only mildly grumpy face". I may have to keep that one.

...

You didn't know we existed ten textboxes ago.

I have opinions about this setup, and things that happen Later, and, well... the fact there's something for me to hate beyond the obvious should tell you plenty for now.

Jade goes for the strike, but despite his size, Booga has actual dodge ability.

Not helping.

Booga decides that, if he can't do this the easy way, he can pull out the hard way.

...You can take 'em, Jade. Harvest Moon. Birds.

I know my But Thou Must loops. No, no you won't.

...You're, uh... mixing your metaphors a lot here.

I believe this is the end of the unique dialogue you can get out of continuing to resist.

At some point, you have to say Yes.

...A changing room would have sufficed.

The weird thing about this setup is that in the vanilla game, and still the case in Definitive, is that they use a black bunnysuit for Jade here. Definitive added a reason for the blue recolour, but I'm not sure why they went to the trouble- it feels like they should've just gone with the black one.

Perhaps they wanted this to definitely be a change and Jade already has a bunnysuit costume you could have set her up in. This might be the first playthrough she hasn't come in here wearing the Uniforme de L'Academie for me.

Again, I'm not sure if you mean that literally or metaphorically, and I'm fairly certain I don't want to find out.

Just once, I want a villain who keeps his promises.

...That's... certainly an extreme reaction.

This whole deal is... quite something. Suffice it to say, it's normally the punishment for the people who rise up against Booga.

Black hole vacuum cleaner for people. That's... certainly creative, I'll give it that.

Let's just say no and leave it at that.

Jade jumps up and throws back someone who got sucked in.

Getting herself sucked in instead.

Always a bad sign when your map doesn't seem any better informed than you are about your new circumstances.

...You're of no help.

...There's a martial artist who's dropped his claws. That can only mean bad things.

Well, that sets a tone pretty thoroughly.

This guy has an amazingly out of place deep voice proclaiming this crap whenever he speaks, and I feel like that makes the whole conversation even worse than it already is.

If someone picks a fight with you, you just pick a fight with them. Over and over and over again.

Presumably he's already fought a few. Not entirely sure how many of them, though.

They're monsters, they always somehow figure out a way.

The monsters try not to kill anybody around here. Keyword "try". They're surprisingly good at succeeding.

"Limboo". That's what we're going with.

Jade readies herself to kick a guy in the face.

That assumes they get past Jade. Which is a tall ask.

...Of course there are...

Jade knows when to fold it.

...Do you have any other lines, priest with two oversized maces?

Well are you gonna talk about it or are you gonna do it?

Limboo, as it happens, is actually the combination of two pre-existing maps in the world, given a new coat of paint and purpose. That arena we were just in was the Octagonia arena, of course, while these are the dungeons under Heliodor. The cell in the top left is the one Erdward got locked in, bottom left is Erik's.

And a hearty "Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day, to the last syllable of recorded time, and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing" to you too!

Meanwhile, this is the exact opposite end of the spectrum of emotions to be feeling in here.

Part of the thing that really made Booga stand out in the vanilla game was in the implications of how he treated Jade as an item of romantic affections. The "toning down" on this matter involves making Booga, well...

My dearest, darling, super-smashing Boo! I've been thinking about you, and now my heart's beating so fast, I think I'm going to explode like a love volcano! When are you going to wrap me up in those big, strong arms of yours? Tell me it'll be soon- I've already waited far, far, far too long!
Yours forever and ever, Boodica

My darling! My precious! My Boodica! How I have missed your all-conquering curves! One day soon, I'll sweep you off your feet, just as I've always promised! But my sweet, you will have to wait a little longer. We must do things correctly. First we'll use these pages to get to know each other, then I'll ask the Lord of Shadows to officially approve our union. Then, on the tenth anniversary of our first date, we'll sit together under a starry sky and- oh, my pen quivers as I write this!- hold hands for the very first time! Can you imagine, my dearest? Can you? Hold onto that thought- treasure it until the day comes at long last!
Yours in anticipation, Booga

 The kind of person that thinks "holding hands" involves a ten year commitment.

Whether they fully succeeded on that front is another question, since the original setup that led to the original implications hasn't been touched at all (presumably, because it's in a voiced line and they didn't want to redub it) and Booga is only mostly like this even in the Side Story.

And at any rate, that was about 1000% more than I needed to know about Booga's love life.

Monster courtship rituals: Give the girl a punishment dungeon, but don't hold her hand until ten years into the relationship.

I'm like 95% sure if you tried this in real life, you would wind up in the dungeon. Well, OK, you're probably more likely to wind up in jail first.

I think we have seen this particular priest before, but at any rate, I think these people might've had to to settle for "the only one who has memorised the rites" anyway.

Most people didn't.

I don't think this is supposed to be the female Martial Artist from Phnom Nonh, but another one.

I don't think anyone can blame you. You clearly don't have a lot of control over that.

...There's "fallen to desperate lows" and then there's that. No doubt they've figured out new levels of desperation to fall into after that, but I think this girl might go catatonic at best after one more go.

Over in Erik's cell (without the hole to escape through) are the people we recognise. All in the one cell, because I'm sure that won't come back to bite them.

Jade recognises them too.

...Hey yeah, weren't you a terrible fighter in reality? You haven't been hitting the Arachtagon stuff, have you? As much as this seems like the desperate times to use it, I don't think that'll end well for anyone involved, how badly you got messed up by it.

Then again, he did fail, but it's not like... oh, who am I kidding, none of these guys are on our level. If they were, we'd have recruited them into the party.

The monsters have a much tighter definition on the extent of the injury they can suffer than a human suffering that injury.

I mean, you saw it up there already. Sinderella's version didn't seem to go into any more detail.

An eternity of terror?

...Has anyone died yet?

I mean, the logical assumption here is that, eventually, we get enough EXP from repeated fighting that this is reasonable. Assuming mechanics had anything to do with it.

And also assuming monsters don't get EXP too.

I mean... I don't think it gets worse than what you're already going through.

Nothing compares to the human imaginination in terms of a) coming up with worse fates than the one you are suffering and b) deluding yourself into believing simple solutions are possible.

Keep that attitude, Jade, and you might just make a fantastic Queen once all the dust settles.

...

...

Sindy, we're long past the point of the Darkspawn myth meaning anything.

(Also, are you aware that you have fought the Darkspawn? Or that the Darkspawn saved your life?)

There are some people you simply can't save.

Looks like the Golden Boy's taking his turn.

Look, if you've given up, you know there's no point in begging.

Yeah, I think we'd better stir the pot ourselves.

Excellent, we've attracted some real attention already! Saves my time.

There's just no convincing some people of the truth. Either that or monster courting rituals normally involve the legitimate attempt to murder each other.

...On second thought, they probably do.

This is my "only mildly grumpy" face.

Nice knowing ya, too.

We still have a fairly nice Platinum Spear to count on.

Oh, grow up.

Don't mention it.

You clearly haven't seen me in action.

Not that I expected you to help.

At least I got her worried about something else for a little bit.

Don't worry, you'll be just fine.

I'm sure I will.

Don't tell me what I do and don't stand a chance against.

He has a few inventory items to be used as supplies.

There are worse ideas than giving Jade a few more of these, but I don't really think you'll need them, especially if you've got the Belle's Bow and a few good attack options.

Good reminder. You can't use bag inventory items, only ones in your inventory.

Every bit I prolong it is agony you guys aren't suffering.

I make sure to actually grab the stuff out of the bag, too.

As ready as you'll ever let me be.

Glad to know I'll be entertaining.

Have a little faith in me, guys.

...They let you watch? I suppose this is demoralising.

...Maybe we should've found the most private corner we could and changed back into something more sensible. (Before you ask, no, that's not an option available mechanically. I think this isn't even our armour, just using the cosmetic armour slot.)

Hopefully we can still fight.

A leading light of Limboo's human-hurting community. Loves to hear victims beg for their lives before brutally butchering them.

Boodiful hoodlums, and the rest of the enemies of the Girly Burly, are all new to the Side Stories and are mostly just recolours of monster's we've seen. I can't tell you what their stats are, but I can tell you these guys have the same tricks as a normal Hood- crits, mustering their strength, and Fizzle.

Well, I think I know exactly what you lot do.

Take a good solid hit to the chests.

And try to Fizzle people who don't know any spells.

See you in the next round.

Now this could get more interesting.

A leading light of Limboo's human-hurting community. Harnesses its inhuman mastery of magic to inflict pain on prisoners, and has a huge laugh doing so.

A leading light of Limboo's human-hurting community. Incorporates all kinds of evil incantations into its efforts to drive prisoners to the depths of despair. 

The Boodiful hocus-poker is based on an enemy we haven't seen yet (although we have seen a weaker recolour), although the Boodiful wizards are. The hocus-poker knows Boom and Anathematise, the wizards know Frizzle, Decelerate and Kasap.

Are you guys capable of coming up with new material, crowd of hundreds of monsters?

They can also just decide to slap you, which doesn't do much, but it's still better than Decelerate.

Some enemies you just overkill down.

Aw, how terrifyingly adorable.

A leading light of Limboo's human-hurting community. Specialises in claw-based cruelty aimed at petrified prisoners.

A leading light of Limboo's human-hurting community. Its marvelous memory means it's able to fondly recall its favourite shrieks for years after eliciting them. 

Boodiful sootbonces and boodiful smogbonnets are just the same as the rest of these groups- annoyingly not all grouped at once because they're technically different monsters, but about as threatening. The smogbonnets can poison you, I guess.

Oh, that's new. To you. I've heard it plenty.

Both kinds can laugh flippantly.

And that might just be more hurtful than their claws.

Neither. I guess party members are just a level above NPCs in this universe.

Clearly no one else was expecting that, not even the man who attacks with boomerangs.

Nor the person with Sizzle spells.

Unfortunately for Jade, someone did take offence to that.

Say hello to the ruler of Limboo-

Boodica.

And the four long arms of "the law".

Or, you know... a turn.

I mean, you seem to think you're giving out fair fights.

I don't know what I want to object to first. Other than the fact that, you know... Jade is a Queen?

At least she does win in muscles.

In Dragon Quest, there's one state of incapacitation: Death.

...Oh great, they've figured that out too.

Dying now, or lifetime of agony... you're not selling the choice very well.

I think I'll take the chance on victory, thank you very much.

There's more than just Jade running around doing good around here.

And if we can't win today, we can at least win long enough for someone else to come along!

There's enough badass in one woman to take down an entire army of monsters, and who said that was a consumable resource?

You can still bleed!

...Right, monsters don't bleed. You get the point.

That's gotten everyone feeling better.

Ooh, backup.

I think your helmet's on too tight.

...

Vince has been training since last time we saw him.

Vince is still going to make it up to those kids.

Yourselves, five minutes ago.

...What spell was that, and you are definitely teaching it to Serena next time you two meet.

...We'll talk later, OK?

Now then... I think it's time we fought alongside these guys for once.

Bring it. Hell can't be much worse.

The monstrous mistress of the dungeon dimension of Limboo. So infatuated with her beloved Booga that her biceps bulge whenever she thinks of him.

Demon family
1618 HP

Boodica is a monster of the same few tricks her recolours are good for- blocking attacks with her muscles, hitting hard, flexing, and throwing a lot of punches. She's also apparently able to call for help, but I don't think I've ever actually seen that.

A leading light of Limboo's human-hurting community. No prisoner gets unpunished on its watch, period.

A leading light of Limboo's human-hurting community. Recently realised a lifelong dream of being put in charge of a prison, however the hundred-hour work weeks have been taking their toll. 

Demon family
354 HP

Boodica's right and left hand are separate monsters for grouping purposes, but they know the same spells- Acceleratle, Kabuff, Kasap, and Boom. They're probably the best targets to start with.

No, left hand, that isn't making me feel worse about it. Hundred hour work weeks of torture are not an excuse.

A Multithrust should be enough to show them what's what. Although this looks pretty close.

Boom is a better option against five targets, but again, four of them do not have HP.

Sinderella has an assortment of spells to make Jade's lot easier, including Kasap, Midheal, and even Oomph. Not that you can control which she uses.

You go, Underdigger!

Boodica's flex has the ability to raise her own Atk, and Jade has nothing to counter that. At least we have Midheal?

Also Special Medicine from Vince, that's also still there.

Although both of them seem to be on it. Nice to make it up.

Multifists goes to four random targets, and all you care about is how many are Jade.

Multithrust is also random, but there's only one Boodica.

Oh great, Pep.

Ow.

And Sindy's knocked over, to boot!

...How did you make it out of that one, Sindy, Jade and Vince?

And the Golden Boy is the one to get the kill. Makes up for him getting picked.

Incidentally, if Jade were to die at any point, she would be automatically revived by weird magic in her suit. I think the game does intend for you to see this happen at least once, but I miracled my way out of that. I think the same thing happened in my first run, too.

Rolls eyes.

Take a kick on the chin.

That is a shiny death throw.

Oh great, we broke Limboo.

At least there's a way out.

Sorry... But she's certainly glowing now, I can't say she's too terribly bad off. A little mortally challenged, but who isn't?

Surprise!

Oh, and everyone else made it out, no worries about that. Kinda takes away from the dramatic escape, but no matter.

Well, if we can take Boodica, we can take Booga!

Unfortunately, "we" seems to be a term at issue.

Vince is probably having uncomfortable flashbacks to his own sudden inability to fight in urgent situations. If only it was easy to deal with as that.

That is what we call bad news.

Jade's bunnysuit is now black... and eerily pulsing red. To some extent.

More instances of Booga leering in a very unpleasant fashion while talking about some decidedly more pleasant invasions of personal space than the alternative.

And Jade's left in a position of not being able to affect much of her environment.

Jade Journeys Forth is a Side Story that is very hamstrung by the situation it is forced to engineer. Jade turns up as the brainwashed slave of Booga, and there's not a lot of stories one can tell that end up that way, especially if you want to make it come off as heroic. They do a great job of managing that trick- by making Jade fight through an onslaught (with the side effect of making Booga really earn his status as a Sentinel) and get hit at the last second- slightly undercut by making the thing she got hit by unrelated to said onslaught.

When it comes to the Octagonians... this is certainly an entry in their list of accomplishments. Most of the fighters tend to get completely embarassed by their environment across the game, and this Side Story kinda has to build up to them losing again, but their particular flavour of dejected cynicism is rather barbed. Limboo is a horrifying place, but kinda so horrifying that any kind of "just give in" advice falls flat. If you're going to get tortured for eternity, there's no sense in prolonging it. There's also the whole mention of the Darkspawn, which, while still prevalent... I'm not really sure how much sense it makes to the whole ordeal.

Mechanically, this one's got the least meat on its bones, quite the change of pace after Sylv's. A little bit of overworld/town movement to Booga, the setup of Limboo, the Girly Burly, Boodica, and then you're done. It almost feels too comically short. The fights having absolutely no danger because of the hare-raising suit kinda takes away a bit from the one little bit of agency you have. It's kinda in line with the last two, to some extent, but I think I would like a little more. Even if I'm not entirely sure where that'd be- perhaps beating up a few slave drivers in Upper Octagonia?

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