Saturday 5 February 2022

The Simpsons Game Snapshot: Bargain Bin

Yes, we're playing The Simpsons Game (2007) on this blog. This game has excellent writing, written by the Simpsons writers themselves (I'm told the head writer is Matt Selman), and whatever the faults of the gameplay itself, the narrative I'm going to show off today is an excellent meta-narrative about video games as a whole.

Context: The Simpsons have discovered a manual for a video game set in Springfield, and harness their video game powers for selfish ends. When aliens invade the town, the Simpsons seek out a cheat guide to match the aliens' power levels and fight them off.

Lisa: Oh my god. It's the mother ship!
Bart: This must be the level boss for this part of the game!

(This game has subtitles, but I disagree with their sense of timing.)

It is time to fight the final boss of the aliens, Kang and Kodos themselves. (Yes, the aliens are Rigelians, it's impossible for the Simpsons to deal with aliens and not bump into them.)

Homer: The boss!? Quick, everyone look busy!

Homer, meanwhile, has foolishly misunderstood the word "boss". He's dealt with a little too much Mr Burns in his life.

Kang and Kodos start firing lasers at the family.

...And a hatch opens.

Bart: Guys, look! The hatch opens after every four laser bursts! That's the weak spot where we need to fire!

I applaud your pattern recognition, but I think you need at least one more cycle to prove that.

Kang: Hey Kodos, that ugly kid's right! Why are we exposing our weak spot after every four laser bursts?
Kodos: You're right! Why do we even need to expose our weak spot at all?

 I assume you're venting heat from firing your laser. The fact the weak spot is so prominently coloured probably means your ship needs a better design, but cycle systems have some justification. Maybe that's just as video games progressed, though.

Kang: Thanks for the heads-up, Earth dumbass!

...Can he hear you? I don't think Kang and Kodos ever actually communicate with the Simpsons in this game.

Kodos: Screw fighting one family! Why don't we just blow up the whole town? They can't stop us from doing that!
Kang: Sounds good to space-me!

The Rigelians have gotten way too genre-savvy now. As powerful as the Simpsons are, they can't match spaceships in movement and firepower.

And off they fly. Which one is the mothership seems to not really translate to screenshots.

Marge: Unless we do something, these space octopuses are going to get jiggy all over Springfield! Did I use jiggy right? Sorry.

Knowing Marge, I think this isn't appropriate slang, and from my search, I think she's right in that she used that term wrong.

Bart: The cheat guide doesn't have any more upgrades!

The cheat guide doesn't tell you how to beat the final boss? Is there a second one you have to buy as an extra ripoff? No wonder Prima died.

Lisa: Wait! I know another way we can cheat- the Internet!

Lisa objected to the cheat guide at first, but it seems she's come around to finding new powerups to save Springfield from the aliens.

Bart: Of course, the Internet! That's where I cheat for school!

I don't think the internet was big when the Simpsons was big. Floating timeline means the Simpsons adopt the technologies available to the modern day- in modern Simpsons episodes, they have smartphones!

Homer: Cheating. Is there anything it can't do?

Ah, Homer. Let's not get into the morality of this.

I would like to highlight the fact that, during an active alien invasion, we're going inside and surfing the internet.

Bart: Check it out- they have a walkthrough for a game called "The Simpsons Game". Bartman, eating contest, alien invasion, slaughtering dolphins, it's describing everything we've done all day!

...So you're telling me that the Simpsons Game thus far has occurred in a single day? Not only did you thwart a museum robbery, eat until you literally burst, blow up a logging factory and overthrow the release of a violent video game in the day, but you had enough time at night to fight off Lard-Lad, beat up the dolphins and stop the strip-mining of the mall?

...Eh, I guess video game characters don't need to pause for breath or sleep. And may have off-screen teleportation powers.

Marge: But what does it say we have to do next? Nothing, I hope!

Marge, you haven't been playable at all during the alien invasion. You have the least ground to be throwing that. Besides, your gameplay is based around not doing things yourself.

Bart: Well, it says here that we need to find-

One of my ultimate questions about The Simpsons Game's narrative is "what is the in-universe Simpsons Game like?". Has Bart discovered what the next level is, or is the next level he's talking about different from the one we're about to play? I feel like the latter is true, because of where the narrative is about to go.

Homer: Move it! I want to play solitare!

Homer, you utter madman.

..Uh, Homer. That's not a cupholder. It looks like, despite the floating timeline on technology, Homer's understanding of computers has not improved since King-Size Homer and the days of "where's the Any Key?"

"THIS WASN'T IN THE GUIDE!"

...Well... of all the places to be teleported to, this is... one of them.

Marge: Where are we?
Lisa: We're in the game engine-

Lisa, of course, somehow knows even things she shouldn't know.

Lisa: -if our life is a video game, this is the factory where it was made.

...Uh, no. The Game Engine is nothing like that. I blame Frink. He did go to the video game factory and called it the Game Engine in an earlier level (perhaps Lisa is recalling and explaining that). Perhaps the two concepts are conflated in this game's story. I think this place is supposed to be different to where Frink went, but Frink is actually here, too.

Homer: That's ridiculous! I'm not a video game character-

Weird time for the arbitrary skepticism, Homer, considering you can literally eat so much you turn into a wrecking ball and inflate by drinking helium.

...On the other hand, Homer doesn't understand that humans should not be able to do this.

Homer: -I'm a real life person with dreams and feelings...

Homer pulls a Wile E. Coyote, and...

Homer: D-all right, fine, I'm a video game guy.

Well, glad that's settled.

Marge: Now can I ask a question? If this a video game, where do we put the quarters?

Marge doesn't understand modern video games have abandoned the quarter to the 90s. If you're using quarters to play video games today, you're doing something wrong, no matter what platform you're on.

Homer: Oh my God, it's a nerd!

Ah, hello, this guy's going to be important! This game was made by EA, so I presume they have the rights to the Sims plumbob.

???: That's right, the nerdiest nerd in the computerverse!

I'm not really sure he has much claim to the "-est", but I have no objections to the "nerd".

He certainly has the laugh to prove it.

Lisa: Daaad, that's Will Wright, designer of SimCity and The Sims!

The Sims feels like the sort of game genre that Lisa would be very interested in, so I fully believe she recognises the creator on sight. Most people don't typically know what the creative minds behind their favourite games look like, though.

Wright: Don't forget my biggest flop- SimSandwich! Its failure drove me mad. MAD!

Not a real game.

Wright: That's why I live here now, finding a home for old games nobody plays anymore.

And this is the point where the game stops being about thwarting an alien invasion and changes course to being a meta-commentary about the medium of video games.

I mean... what more can I say here? This is powerful symbolism. What value do your SNES cartridges have in the modern day?

(Escape from Krusty Island is not a real video game. I imagine it's based on Escape from Camp Deadly and Krusty's Fun House.)

Wright: Video games are about what's new, and the old is better off forgotten.

Most mediums have a body of "classic" works, that stand the test of time and are still shown today because of their high quality. Video games do have some effort put in to building that library, but in terms of actually playing those games today... the industry lags behind tremendously. And then there are the companies like EA, which actively don't even bother supporting their old work.

Wright: Any of these fellows look familiar?

Say hello to old-fashioned Simpsons! I don't think there's any Simpsons game that actually has them look this off-model- most Simpsons game of the age translated the iconic designs with more attention than they gave the actual level design. This is why many Simpsons games (and indeed, most licensed games) are pretty garbage.

Homer: Wow. We look so pixel-ly!

Bart: ...And poorly rendered.
Marge: Which one is supposed to be me?

Wow, the Simpsons aren't sold on the 8-bit aesthetic. I'm not sure what Marge's problem is, though, she's the only Simpson whose design uses green. I can only imagine the poor 80s programmer that was told "make it possible to distinguish Bart and Lisa".

Lisa: Don't destroy them- they may be obsolete, but they're still alive!

I feel like Lisa would be totally on board with the video game preservation effort, but around 2007, this wasn't as intensely argued as it is today, and Lisa completely ignores the better arguments to focus on this one. Which, to be fair, real preservationists can't really use this argument.

8-bit Homer: Help, he's crazy!
8-bit Bart: If he destroys us, we'll never escape from Krusty Island!

Part of me wants to know if the 8-bit Simpsons not escaping from Krusty Island will actually pose a problem for the new Simpsons, but considering the negative continuity of the show, I imagine that's neatly not a problem for the Simpsons.

8-bit Marge: I'm Marge!

8-bit Marge helping her modern counterpart pick her out of the lineup and nothing else.

Homer: You can't do this!

Wright: Of course I can! I'm Will Wright, bitch!

No need to devolve into childish name-calling, Will Wright, you're a real person and have a lot more power than Homer ever will.

Wright: And pretty soon, when there's a new, better Simpsons game than the one you're from, I'll destroy you too!

When you're destroying the old to make way for the new, the new will eventually become the old to destroy for the newer later. Of course, it is not something the new think about very hard while they're the new thing.

He cleared his throat somewhat since the nerdy laugh, and this is a nice, proper evil villain laugh.

And now the pixel Simpsons are on the way to the incinerator. All those other Krusty Island cartridges apparently moved along into there just fine off-screen.

Bart: Stop him, Homer!
Homer: NERRRRRD!!!!!

Bart: We have to save our pixellated forefathers!

Time to begin the mission! The Simpsons Game is a 3D platformer beat-em-up, but this level eschews the beat-em-up for just platforming and puzzling. We've got about 4 minutes to save the 8-bits (I spent half a minute making sure there were no collectibles on this starting platform.)

One of the game's collectibles is video game cliches, and in the Wii version (which is the one I'm playing), one of them is for falling down into the bottomless void on this level. The PS2/Wii version is significantly different from the PS3/XBox 360 versions, and many cliche locations are shuffled as a result. I don't think the nuts and bolts matter that much here, it was just worth mentioning.

Bart and Homer have to switch between their respective abilities to solve puzzles together. Homer needs to eat food to turn into the Homerball, and there's cherries scattered around to facilitate that here.

Each Simpsons can collect stuff like this for bonus prizes. In the PS3 version, these give actual mechanical benefits, but they're just cosmetic here. You also get some funny quotes from Will Wright if you bother to pick them up here.

(Robotic) Stopping for non-essential collectibles during timed puzzle. Not logical. Does not compute.
I remember when I cared about picking up collectibles. Good times.
You waste your time while I invent other games with Sim in the title! Sim Hot Dog! Sim Garbage Truck! Sim... Duck Farm!
Oh, they're getting so many points! When's my turn to play?

Will Wright in general has a lot of snarky comments, as do Homer, Bart and the pixel Simpsons, and sadly I don't think there's a complete script running around. He's got some good ones, including a few for solving puzzles successfully:

Pure luck! Even a broken clock is right twice a day! Once if it's on military time.
No! You can't win! I won't go back to dancing!
Hey! You're both supposed to be dumb! Get back in character!

And the Homer Ball is also good for catapulting! Less good for precision. There's a reason I'm skimming over the gameplay (other than the fact it's a timed 3D level and it's a little frustrating to screenshot and play at the same time).

I'm flying! I wonder if it's science or magic or superfarts?

Really, the number one reason to play this game yourself is to try and pick out all the neat lines they wrote for it.

Bart hurries along behind with the grappling hook, and...

Well, it's simple from here. Few more quotes for the road...

8-bit Bart: Cowabunga! I need help! Cowabunga!
8-bit Lisa: I leave everything to Snowball II!
8-bit Marge: Put in another quarter, I want more life!
8-bit Bart: I'm going to die an underachiever and proud of it!

Bart: Aw, dad, I no longer think of you as being dumb as a rock.
Bart: Nice, dad, you're like a morbidly obese Sherlock Holmes!

And two kickers for the environment at the time:

Homer: Five bucks says Spore never gets released!
Wright: Any game without "sim" in its name is stupid, except Spore.

This game predates Spore, and it comes with jokes with the punchline being Spore's troubled development. Spore did successfully release, but, well... let's just say it's more infamous for other reasons these days.

And we have saved the day!

Wright: This isn't right! Who put you up to this? Was it those jerks at EA? They hate me, you know. They're all jealous of me! Jealous I tells ya!

For some reason, Will Wright will actually say this during the level sometimes.

When you finish a level, you get a newspaper telling you your time. Getting all the collectibles will usually cause you to miss the timer challenge, but it's a lot easier than I remember it being as a kid.

It also gives you a reward if you don't get any deaths, which is annoying, because some of the cliches require deaths. And... wait a second... I missed a Krusty Coupon?

I knew they hid a collectible in the crates! This is after the jump into that pile with Homer, not at the very start of the level, though.

Homer: Wow. This is like those places where people used to go and see movies before video piracy was invented.

Remember when that was why people stopped going to the theatre?

The girls took a shortcut.

Bart: Hey, thanks for helping us save our 8-bit selves! I had to do so many double jumps, I'm really tired!

Honestly, even though I joked about it, I think Lisa and Marge wouldn't have helped much. Both characters need the stage to co-operate them in order to use their powers to the fullest, and also have more naturally sedentary gameplay anyway. Preparing and then using their powers would use up a lot of the time limit, especially when combining them with other characters.

Homer: You like donuts too?
8-bit Homer: Sure do. Want one?

Ah, the joys of being Homer: you can make friends as easily as enemies.

Homer: Mmm, pixel-ly! You're all right, old weird version of me!

That made a weird crunch sound. Are you sure that's edible? ...On the other hand, that's Homer, it's just fine.

8-bit Bart: Attention, smooth Simpsons! We've been around this complex a long time and bring a warning. Cowabunga.

I just love how they lean on Bart's catchphrases whenever they want to make a retro moment. I think my favourite story on the topic is the fact that, while commentating "Bart Gets an F", they were surprised to notice that Bart had unironically said "Cowabunga" at least once during the show (he says it while preparing to sled during the snow day).

8-bit Lisa: One day, your video game too will be obsolete.

You can count on Lisa to know the answer. No matter what her problem is supposed to be, she understands what's going on.

Bart: No way- the Simpsons Game is awesome! Just because every video game up until now has been destroyed and forgotten doesn't mean ours will be.

Bart has no vision of the future. And to be fair, even in 2007, the race to the top aesthetically was slowing down. It's hard to imagine a world where these Simpsons could be "more improved" when they already look like they've been ripped straight from the show- well, in the cutscenes, at least. Their gameplay models still have some way to go.

Lisa: Bart, she's right. I mean I'm right. We're both right!

Again, I wonder what the continuity is between the modern Simpsons and their 8-bit selves. Does the modern Lisa really get credit for this thought?

Lisa: No video game is safe from an industry that's always chasing the hot new thing. Sure, the Simpsons Game is great with its unique upgradable character abilities, and its hilarious self-referential cutscenes-

I'll give you the cutscenes, but are we really using the Simpsons Game's character ability progression as "unique" and "a selling point"? Maybe this is me not understanding the gaming environment of 2007, but I don't think what the Simpsons Game is doing on that front is impressive from a modern perspective, at the very least.

Lisa: -but what about when the XBox 720 comes out? Or the PlayStation 4? No one will want to play us then!

Jokes about Microsoft pulling the wool over Lisa's eyes and not bothering to make an XBox 720 aside, Lisa has a massive point. It's 2022, and attention on the Simpsons Game is... this blog? The fan-favourite Simpsons game is Hit & Run, which is also packed with high-quality humour and has actually fun (although relatively tame) gameplay to boot. There hasn't been a new Simpsons game after this one to really steal it's thunder- just a mobile game and what I've heard is a rerelease of the arcade game, but haven't been able to track down.

Homer: Damn this godforsaken place! Video game making nerds are getting rich and all I can do is die and die and die and die! EACH DEATH MORE PAINFUL THAN THE LAST!

And here's where the game gets interesting. You see, a lot of video games these days are interested in the theme of how video game characters feel about their lot in life as a video game character. Your most popular examples are Spec Ops: The Line and Undertale. Many of those examples, if not all of them, place the burden of their woes at the feet of the player. The Simpsons Game... feels differently.

Lisa: But what can we do? We're just highly rendered pixels in a universe we can't control!

Lisa: Even as we speak, Springfield is being destroyed by a hackneyed alien invasion premise!

I feel like the sideswipe at "alien invasion" as a video game premise has an interesting life when paired with the fact that Hit & Run used the same premise.

Lisa: Oh, somehow it's not a cliche when it's happening to you.

I mean, are you really thinking about how cliche things are when you're actually playing a game? The Comic Book Guy pointing them out does a lot of it in this game, but if you're going through a game and actually feeling the "seen it all before" in the moment-to-moment stuff, usually it's the game being really bad. A mediocre game can at least feel fun at the time.

Bart: Yeah, we don't even know whose butt to kick!

So who is it the Simpsons have set their eyes on?

8-bit Marge: There is one place you can go- the mansion of the Creator.

We're going for the people who made the game. Or, well, the people who signed off on it.

8-bit Marge: He created all of these worlds! Maybe he can end this pointless cycle of destruction!

 Maybe he can. Honestly, though, how much could one man do anyway?

Bart: The Creator, eh? I'm gonna triple combo punch his fat nerdy face! KARATE!

Of course that'd be your reaction, Bart.

8-bit Bart: Don't have a cow, man! You still say that, right? I hope so.

8-bit Bart: The only way to get through the gate is to go in to each of the new Simpsons games being developed by the Creator. Once you're inside each game, you need to find a key card! Only the four key cards will combine to open the gate.

Plot McGuffins (surprisingly, that isn't a collectible cliche, although "Keys" is). The Simpsons Game is kinda short as is, it'll take some padding where it needs it. And to be honest, the four new Simpsons games are probably some of the coolest levels in the game from a premise standpoint. The Simpsons in the worlds of highland fantasy, Grand Theft Auto, Medal of Honour and the anime JRPG just... click, somehow. Even if it makes this game trickier to explain to people.

Bart: Key cards? That is the lamest video game BS I've ever heard. Why aren't we doing something cool- like collecting multi-coloured shard keys! That would be totally different and awesome!
8-bit Bart: Cowabunga!

Bart is easily satisfied. It's pretty clear that Bart Simpson is the target audience of the bulk of the video game market. It also turns out that he doesn't know what war Medal of Honour is set in.

Marge: Let's get to it, video gang! Let's go give this creator a piece of our minds!
Lisa: And save Springfield!

And that's the story of Bargain Bin. From here, there's a short tutorial for some new powerups the Simpsons characters get before the four new levels unlock. But to truly tell the story of this game, I'll need to show one more level, and for that, we'll have to...

...What do you mean, I can fit both levels into one update? I guess this is a game that doesn't translate to screenshots easily.

8-bit Lisa: Did you get the key cards?
8-bit Bart: And how many points did you get?

This is the prelude to the second level in this update, "Five Characters In Search of an Author". We've collected all four of the keycards and no other surprises in particular occurred. This isn't that kind of game.

Bart: Video games don't have points anymore!

Score systems have been making a comeback with the proliferation of online play, but that was still pretty new back in 2007. Even then, a story-based platformer like the Simpsons Game would probably still eschew it. Even if the game does track something it expects you to brag about (like the time it took you to complete the level), you really needed the internet in order to have people to brag to. Most scoring systems translate to in-game currency in some way.

8-bit Homer: No points? But how do you know if you're doing good in the game?

Most players can figure that out for themselves. A player who's playing badly is dying and failing to complete the things they expect to do, so if you're not doing that, it innately feels good.

Lisa: Well, you make progress through the objectives of the game. Like here- we collected the four key cards.

From left to right- the Hellfish logo from Medal of Homer, Poochie from Grand Theft Scratchy, the Patty and Selma dragon from NeverQuest, and Mr Dirt from Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game. The DS port cut Medal of Homer and Grand Theft Scratchy, and also replaced the high-quality Simpsons cutscenes with more DS-friendly in-engine ones, but still kept the Hellfish and Poochie designs here. I mean, it would probably still be more effort to redesign the key cards, but still, I find it cute.

8-bit Homer: Four points? That's a pretty sucky score!

I mean, it's a small miracle to get that much. Most games with scoring systems typically give you 100 points for the smallest task you are capable of. Rarely, you might even get 10 points!

8-bit Homer: I got eight million on a Centipede machine in a Pizza Hut once, but four? Pathetic.

According to TwinGalaxies, Homer's claim would actually be a world record level score for the game of Centipede. I am both suddenly doubting Homer's claim and calling out his scorn.

8-bit Bart: Look, how many lives did it take you to get these "cards"?
Bart: Lives? What do you mean?

...I know the extra life is an artefact of the classic arcade experience that video games are phasing out, but you mean to tell me Bart has no idea what an extra life is?

Homer: I mean, I died a lot. And I mean a lot. But it's not like I have a limited number of lives.

I didn't keep track of my time and death count for the four levels in between- which I'm starting to feel was a mistake for the commentary of this scene- but one thing that did happen was that my score for the NeverQuest level claimed I died 110 times. I'm 100% sure this is a glitch of some description, because I peformed much worse on a later level (...I think this one, actually) and only got 28 deaths on the scoreboard.

8-bit Homer: Infinite lives? Then how is the game even hard? What's the point if you can just play forever?

To complete the game, you do have to overcome the obstacles at some point- only the most story-driven of games (or Nintendo's entry-level fare) will permit you to bypass something you're really stuck on. You do have to get better, the game just respects your time and doesn't make you replay half the game to practice. Although the argument that games have gotten easier since the arcade machine still holds water (most of the actual arguing is "is this a bad thing?").

8-bit Bart: The world I grew up in is gone.

I think that's the one thing that you can really say for sure about the differences between the arcade games and the modern gaming industry of 2007.

Marge: Look, cyber chums! We need to use the keys to get in to that mansion and talk to this "Creator" wacko. Our town is being blown up as we speak! So let's do this thing!

Marge is happy to get us off this topic of conversation and onto something more productive.

Bart is happy to speed up the process. I love the expressions I've been getting out of these screencaps, by the way. The Simpsons Game is significantly less expressive than the original cartoon, but it's got some gems. That Bart face while he's doing the nick is amazing.

Homer: Hey, Bart? In these video games, levels get easier as you go along, right? Right?

Homer does have good reason to make this assumption. Old arcade games were often described as getting easier the more you progressed- because you were getting better at the game faster than the difficulty curve was increasing. Modern games are much better about increasing the difficulty the further in the game you are, although sometimes you get some games that are hardest early on for some reason or another. Usually, this is because some powerup you get later on is so good that nothing the lategame can throw at you can compare to the difficulty of not having it.

Bart: That's right, dad. They sure do. Let's go.

Bart is 100% humouring him so he can laugh at Homer when things go disastrously for him, but I do notice that Bart is, rather uncharacteristically, calling him "Dad" rather than "Homer".

8-bit Homer: Go get 'em, guys! Get your initials at the top of that high score screen! Yeah! (mumbling) Fat chance. Four points, yeesh!

If I were designing this game, I would put a fake high score screen in the credits that always put the player in 1st just to pay off this line.

Just look at the Creator's mansion. Piles and piles of gold, hedges made out of cash, and giant hedges moulded in the form of his creations. If this doesn't set a tone, I don't know what will.

Also, this is an "in-engine" cutscene. I say this in quotes, because despite the fact I am playing on the Wii version, these cutscenes are set in the PS3 version. All of a sudden, I wonder what the point is.

Bart: This is it- the home of our creator. I say we smash his face, bust his stuff, and take a leak on his lawn!

Bart goes straight for violence.

Homer: Way ahead of you, boy!

...If you have a hedge full of money, and someone else pees on it, who is the one guilty of defacing legal tender?

Don't worry, the Creator has better security than that.

He even gets a spin-around reveal on his chair. Matt Groening regularly cameos on the Simpsons, sometimes in vocal parts, although his iconic "appearance" in The Simpsons' 138th Episode Spectacular might've fooled some. The design that appears here was codified in the episode "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"- earlier episodes depicted him in a Hawaiian shirt and with more facial hair.

Groening: So they want a war? Well then it's a war they'll get!

He's quick to start attacking the Simpsons. To be fair, they did pee on 0.00001% of his wealth.

Groening: Violet! Engage the super-toon defence systems.
Violet: Yes, Mr Groaning.

His defence systems must be seen to be believed.

Groening: It's GRAY-ning!

The thing about being a creator of one of the biggest media franchises in the world and having a non-intuitive name means you get a lot of people mispronouncing your name. "Gray-ning" is the correct pronounciation.

Violet: Are you sure?
Groening: ...No.

Although it seems Matt's had to argue the point one too many times.

Here's the opening courtyard of Groening's mansion as seen in the Wii version. Off in the distance: Groening has literally sent dozens and dozens of identical copies of the blue-haired lawyer to fend us off! Also pictured: Bart's ammunition for this level is gold bars.

There's some Wiggum pinatas in the yard. Wiggum was never much of a cop, but I can't help but feel like there's something strange about this.

There's a bunch of pipes scattered around that drop any ammo you might need- food, gummi and gold bars. The pipes always drop the same things, though- if you need gummi and found food, you should search elsewhere.

Sharks with fricken lasers? What kind of budget does this guy have? Well, I've gone and electrocuted them now- Homer needed platforms to cross this water feature.

To enter the mansion, we have to match the doorbell with a very recognisable jingle: the Simpsons iconic opening theme. In the Wii version, they do the cruel thing of having three of the same note in a row and ending on a different one. The PS3 version makes that bit the ending.

Bart: This song... it's haunted me for years!
Homer: I have a sudden urge to sit on a couch...

Here's where we see a great diversion from said PS3 version- as soon as the Simpsons enter the mansion in that version, they will immediately come across their Creator. In this version, the mansion has more rooms to explore.

Can I just take a moment to say this Krusty Koupon is awful? The best way to go for it is to jump parallel to the edge- if you try a more diagonal jump, you're not going to have the height to get on that pipe.

...Can I not ask?

Giant walls of pencils? Really want to make sure you have enough extra for sketching?

Have you ever put a room where you reflect light all around to open a door?

...I really don't understand rich people.

...You know, the piles of gold and the Futurama pipes are one thing, but I think these might actually be the most decadent things in this mansion. At least those have purpose. Ish. Most rich people don't keep their money in bullion form on their lawn.

I was saying about the in-engine cutscenes using the PS3 version? You can even see the Krusty Koupons!

Bart: I betcha our Creator is like a thousand foot Godzilla, with big boobs, and he breathes fire snot!

...Bart, what do you think is done to make video games?

Groening: Think again! Your creator is TV's most beloved animation visionary!

Again, 2007, Dan Povenmire's work wasn't out yet.

Homer: Seth MacFarlane?

Family Guy's creator. Family Guy is the rival series to the Simpsons (think Mario vs Sonic, except instead of "totally radical", the rival used raunch.)

To be fair to Homer here, while Matt Groening does exist in the world of the Simpsons, he is obviously not the creator of "The Simpsons" there, so has to make do with being the creator of Futurama.

Groening: Arrgh! Say hello to my little friends!

Speaking of which...

Bender: Oh snap!
Zoidberg: Snaps claws

What else would Matt Groening use as weapons other than his most dangerous creations- the homicidal robot and the thickly-shelled crustacean?

Time for a boss fight against the main who doodled us!

...OK, that's not entirely fair, he's not really the evil genius here, that would've been Will Wright.

The art he put in his office is more tasteful and of Futurama characters. The man knows where his priorities lie.

To beat Matt in this version, you've got to beat up Benders and Zoidbergs as he keeps drawing more. In the PS3 version, you've gotta draw curtains on him.

Once he's ready for the final hit, he stands up on this precarious ledge and a ramp opens up underneath.

The bigger they are, the Homer they fall!

Lisa: Bart, Dad! You just vanquished your own creator! The philosophical implications would make Eugene Ionesco's head spin!

Ionesco is a French playwright that followed in Albert Camus's footsteps in exploring absurdism, or so a glance at his Wikipedia page tells me. I'll confess I don't understand this line any more knowing who the man is than not.

Homer: Hmmm. You make a provocative point, Lisa, and furthermore-

Homer: KICK 'IM!

Yeah, I'm not persuaded by Lisa's argument either. Especially since vanquishing Groening doesn't seem to be all that interesting from a "consequences" position.

Marge: Stop kicking the man who doodled you! It isn't nice!
Homer and Bart: Yes, ma'am.

That's a more persuasive argument. Yes, even though it is literally "It isn't nice!". Doing good is its own reward.

Groening: Thank you for saving me, ma'am. I'm enduring grateful.

Don't think that's the end of it, Mr Groening.

Lisa: Mr. Groening, how could you have betrayed us-

I like the use of the word "betrayed" to describe Groening's connection to the Simpsons. Really sells just how bad the Simpsons feel they have it here.

Lisa: - the fruits of your creative loins-

I'm sorry, I would be remiss if I didn't mention Lisa looks at his crotch while she's using this figure of speech. It's not the only time she does so during her whole speech, but it is incredibly unfortunate nonetheless.

Lisa: - and sold us out to all these awful video games where we endlessly die and lose health and jump and jump and JUMP?

So, then, Groening. The stage is yours. Why on earth would you have sold your most successful creations to the highest bidder?

Groening: I swear I didn't know they'd be awful, Lisa.

I mean, does Groening really think of the Simpsons as "alive"? Sure, he's probably got some attachment to them for getting them this far, but as far as he can tell, they're kinda in their own world of fiction where all consequences of their actions on the world are erased the next day, and no actual injury is felt?

Groening: If I'd known, I only would've slapped your faces on mugs, T-shirts, candy, lunchboxes, board games, gum, novelty flying discs, and fluffy fluffy beach towels.

...Just... in one line, Groening really demonstrates that he just doesn't understand where the Simpsons' resentment lies. He owns an IP worth billions and he's eager to continue to see it flourish.

Homer, Marge, Bart: Indistinct angry muttering.

Yeah, uh, I don't think the Simpsons and Groening are going to see eye to eye on this matter.

Groening: Nervous laugh Now, if you'll excuse me...

Family: VIDEO GAME ENGINE SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON!?

Oh hey, he does know about the competition. Always put your self-destruct button on your evil creation, or what kind of madman are you?

Groening: So long, suckers!

And Groening gets away with everything on a helicopter. Although I do have to question where this mansion is. Is there an "away" he can fly to?

After all, his own mansion is coming down. (I also hope he has a plan to recover his lost assets here. Although his decadent decorations may be somewhat artificial...)

Ah, yes, can't forget that. Matt Groening's signature goes on everything.

And that's the crux of the story of the Simpsons Game. I'm told the plot bunny "Simpsons find out they're characters in a work of fiction" started life as a pitch for the plot of the Simpsons Movie, and I'll be honest, I think it works better as a video game. There's just that little extra... spark that the Simpsons discovering they're not only fictional, but merchandising. The Simpsons Movie? Released the same year as this game. 2007 was the biggest time to be the Simpsons in the 21st century.

I mentioned that this game works as a rebuttal to "why are you playing this game, Player?" metafiction, and it sure feels strange that a licensed video game had to do it. But to be honest, I think it had to be a licensed video game that stepped up to the plate. A dedicated video game company has vastly different attitudes about the creation, proliferation and eventual abandonment of their games than a company that considers video games as primarily about the revenue- if you put Mario in this plot and wrote him OoC enough that he'd actually be angry at Nintendo, Nintendo would have to answer different questions and would overall be vastly more sympathetic, because they're doing it for the art as well as the money. A licensed IP like the Simpsons? Pure cash. Not only that, but considering the impact that being a long-running, well respected brand like the Simpsons has on the ability to talk about media empires and respect for your roots, and I think that the Simpsons were kinda uniquely positioned in order to actually be able to tell not just a story about how developers play a part in what games are on the market, but this story about corporate soullessness, the rich getting richer and the futility of one man fighting against the system.

With that said, it's all very well and good to hit high with your criticism, but it does kinda result in the game ending on a bit of a whimper. The Simpsons literally appeal to God to help them out, after beating him in DDR (a boss fight I'm positive was chosen to keep to the Simpsons' tradition of never putting God's face in frame). While God promises to put things on a better path, we don't see how he goes about doing that. To be fair, this is a question that I very much hope a writing team who specialises in television comedy cannot answer, but it does kind of rob the message of some of its power that there is ultimately no suggested path to improving the lot of the Simpsons, and that of video game characters as a whole. Still, this is a valuable contribution to the discussion of video games as a medium, and despite the lack of a new Simpsons Game to make this one obsolete, I think the fact this game has fallen forgotten to time kinda empowers the message it has to tell- that video games are about what's new.

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