Our next stop is back in the cosmos, for another shmup level.
Again, Squirps better have washeed his tentacles.
Our objective has been identified by name: We're going to the "Whoa Zone". Presumably, named by Squirps.
Of course. It's us looking for it.
Tippi refuses to entertain the name "Whoa Zone". I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you're just going to have to deal with it.
...OK, we do have an alternate name to choose from, but... it's not exactly the sort of name you want to hear. Hopefully all the murderous things have already left.
...On second thoughts, it seems like the dangerous thing is the place itself, and nothing is actually killing everybody who gets "buried" there.
...At least we have a Return Pipe.
...Great. An actual fart joke. I'm just continued to be amazed how rude Tippi is to Squirps, though: All this suspicion is not matched by any actual basis. He's just too much comedy to be treated with suspicion.
Why do I get the feeling that we're going to be dealing with your hunger before the end of this chapter? Oh well, I'm sure we'll find something.
Some brick blocks in this one. One of the interesting things about this is that this can be a way to keep track of where you've been. Although you may wind up destroying quite a few more than you planned.
Also finding items! Of course there are Shooting Stars in space.
Needed to clear my inventory, so I actually used one of these rather than cooking it.
That seems like an overkill prize. No, you don't get to keep the Ultra Shroom Shake.
That's a Hedron... It's an odd object in the Space Bypass... They say it's indestructible...
Also to be found around here are these rotating platforms, Hedrons. They're just obstacles to navigate around, as well as blocking Squirps shots (as well as Jelliens).
Oh, that Super Shroom slides along the bottom of the screen down there.
You can catch it. It'll even bounce off the end of the map if you can't. Or, well, these brick blocks, here.
There's a few more of these suspended in space. Fleep is the only reason we're getting through to the Whoa Zone- it really is a secret part of space.
And even having Fleep isn't the only thing we can count on. We'll also need to be packing at least Squirps.
Not that Squirps is entirely keen on talking about the significance of the latter. Obviously, Squirps is more important than he lets on, although once again, his silence is just as likely ignorance as it is actual malice. With the very real possibility that it is malice disguised as ignorance.
When you're asked if you want to squish Squirps in, the text waves in the same way Squirps emphasised the word.
Squish!
Squishing him in place spawns one massive door. The little knockers jostle around when they're drawn in.
Of course it is. Well, lead the way, tiny creature.
Anyway, since these are doors, you enter them by pressing up on the D-Pad.
You know, that thing we're doing all over space because free movement in all four directions?
The number of times I accidentally enter these massive doors, I swear.
It's not long before we find the next one.
Although that is 100% more Squirps than we currently possess.
And a sign that is talking about something that we haven't yet seen, but only because I know it's happening. If we were to attempt to twist Squirps into one of these holes, Squirps would suffer a bout of hunger and refuse to move unless we feed him something tasty, leaving us Squirpsless exploring the cosmos.
I'll be having Squirps come with, thank you.
So, we'll need to find ourselves some chocolate, then? I'm not 100% sure, but there are other chocolate items available in the game, and it might be possible to substitute one of those. On the other hand, the essential ingredient (a Mild Cocoa Bean) is not yet available, and I suspect it won't drop from anything we've seen.
That's an Eeligon. They are space creatures that are made up of many parts... Max HP is 10 and Attack is 2. It loses pieces of itself as it takes damage... The head is the weak spot... Its movements are hard to predict, so be careful...
Eeligon has a bit more control over its movements than Hooligon, and is also somewhat harder to hit because of the differing controls between Squirps and Mario, but the enemy itself is not fundamentally different. It only plays defensively if you do.
...And I think when you knock off its cubes, they're 3D objects.
There's a lot of blue wormholes around here, each with different numbers of permablocks around them. Once again, this is a profoundly helpful navigational aid to the people with big short-term memories.
This one is just for money.
And 2D money, at that.
Catch Card SP! To replace the one I wasted earlier.
Let's get rid of this.
Yay? This isn't going to do anything in space.
Look at that guy. He's gone all the way out of the way.
...Actually...
Might as well.
Max HP: 10, Attack: 2. Eeligons slither through the murky bits of the cosmos. Hit them and they'll shrink faster than their egos.
That's... maybe the JP name has something to do with ego?
I believe it is this one, behind the L blocks, that is our stop.
Yup.
That's the Twinkle Mart... Howzit operates it, but his personality seems different... All they sell are chocolate bars... They don't get many customers...
Welcome to Tim Curry's worst nightmare: The knowledge that capitalism, and cheap, cookie-cutter shop design, has found its way into the furthest reaches of space.
(Coin Block up here.)
Yes, there's an annoying chime when the automatic door opens and you enter the store. Thankfully, the door isn't actually automatic, you open it like you would any other door.
The space inside the store is not navigable: On entry, you enter a conversation with Howzit, and on closing the conversation, you are kicked from the store. And thank goodness.
"If you build it, they will come" doesn't exactly apply to the furthest reaches of space, so secret that even the inhabitants of a nearby planet don't know how to get there and are uninterested in learning.
"Please. If I don't shift this inventory, the loan sharks will kill me."
Well, they would be right to do so, since chocolate bars are far too perishable for a business with such a small clientele. The three Choco-bars are actually recipe items, although it's worth noting that it's cheaper to buy the Sweet one than it is to cook it. If you're a shrewd shopper, the same is not true for the more expensive ones.
I didn't even know you could cook these when I made this purchase. I usually go for this one because it feels appropriate, although I do believe I had earlier commented on buying plot-mandatory items for 100 coins when 10 was an option...
No promises.
...OK, that's a lie, we'll be back.
Don't forget this is a door, so don't press Up.
I can only imagine you won't be much good in space.
So what's in here?
More Hedrons.
And a wormhole over here. That's... confusing. Remember these are two dead wormholes, mostly.
...And you're back, although the brick blocks aren't. I dropped this for lack of room, and it seems the game thought it might still be handy. No, it really isn't.
Anyway, let's try out this twisting thing.
Of course, absolutely nothing happens.
I feel like this suggestion actually working is tangential to Squirps' reasoning.
OK, your Majesty.
This is more or less what happens when you put him in early. In fact, it's exactly identical: Nothing changes for having the candy bar early.
Here you go, you little glutton.
I don't think he'll take items other than the choco-bars. Well, OK, I haven't tried it and the textdump doesn't make it clear, but it sounds like he refuses to eat it entirely rather than eating it and failing to get results.
For the record, he's very reluctant, but willing to take, the choco-bar.
And finds it quite to his liking. Howzit's just earned himself a customer! If Squirps remembers where Twinkle Mart is.
...Next time you have chocolate, make sure I'm not there.
Squirps jumps out of the hole, splits in two, both Squirps settle into both holes, and the door now appears.
...I have no idea if that's a thing Squirps can do or he's just moving so fast it's like he's twisted into both holes at once. Once again, odds are low he's any better informed.
Is it now?
Well, let's finagle our way out of this door and investigate that claim.
...Yeah. It's literally right here. Short level.
And as one last note before we leave:
In space, Space Food heals you for 50. I'm not sure if this is also true in the Whoa Zone, but this isn't quite as helpful as you think it would be. Especially since you can't make your own before the chapter.
And after this, we're not going to be threatened by space much.
Mario and his friends took the Space Byway and merged into the Whoa Zone. Known to some as the Space Graveyard, it was said to consume all who entered it. "Just a little bit longer... We'll be arriving soon," said young Squirps. With his unblinking eyes glimmering, Squirps continued to forge onward. Would Mario and his friends get their hands on the Pure Heart at long last?
...Highway metaphor right into a cemetery metaphor, really mixing your tones here. It's space, it's weird, sure, why not, but still. I wouldn't say one "merges" into a graveyard. Even if it's just a nickname.
I'd make a Consul joke, but L was one of the Consuls that didn't say anything. So arguably it does work as a comparison.
...That's it? This is a pretty passe area.
Here! Here! Here! Candy! Here!
This time around, the reason we're not bringing Squirps the whole way through is that Squirps is going on ahead.
By the way, we won't actually be following him. In fact, we will be finding keys to unlock doors, which raises the question of how he got ahead.
The fact this isn't a follow mission is more curious because Squirps's line here makes it sound a lot like this place either is or should be a Lost Woods type of level: One where there are multiple options to progress, but only one works and the others send you back to start, with Squirps pointing to the correct door.
Presumably, it's not because that works less well in a sidescroller.
And yes, this is 100% the sort of line that's building up to a boss fight with Squirps.
Tippi can vouch for the truthfulness of the assertion the Pure Heart is here, even if she cannot vouch for how we're going to get it.
We still have a dungeon to do. The Whoa Zone's theme is... well, it doesn't get on my nerves the way you'd expect, but it is a very simplistic sort of space tune. Wouldn't say I like it, but it does kinda fit.
(The alternate name "Woah Zone" seems to be a typo by the uploader: Unlike the Space Byway/Bypass, the Whoa Zone is always spelled "Whoa", and indeed, all instances of the word in the script, interjection or otherwise, are spelled this way).
There we go. That's a bit more of a "Whoa!" zone to me. Although I'm sure this wouldn't be as fun to look at as the only perspective.
Did these things look a little 3D to you in 3D? Yes, they are platforms. No, there's nothing up here, and indeed, making this observation is of little aid.
That's a Tileoid R. It is a mysterious creature that's made of many small parts... Max HP is 15 and Attack is 2. It can also crawl along walls and ceilings... Tileoids vary in color and ability. This red Tileoid is known for its high HP...
That's a Tileoid Y. It is a mysterious creature that's made of many small parts... Max HP is 10 and Attack is 2. It can also crawl along walls and ceilings... Tileoids vary in color and ability. This yellow Tileoid is known for its great speed...
Tileoids R and Y appear in the Whoa Zone, even if a single Chapter doesn't entirely distinguish them from their B and G counterparts. Presumably, the devs realised making them too bulky kinda made them less fun to deal with, so capped them out at a number they expected you to do four bonks on at most. And that's for the bulky one.
Happy Flower... in here?
Good luck grabbing those coins behind the solid objects.
...Regular Mushroom? Sure, I guess.
This bizarre beast is called a Pigarithm. Everything about it is just...odd... Max HP is ??. Attack is 2. It takes three stomps to finish off this piggy... But each stomp makes it smaller and faster... It's very hard to stomp the last one... Pigarithms often drop many coins, so you may want to hunt them if you're broke...
The next room introduces us to Pigarithms, triple-piggy bank enemies that always take three hits to kill no matter how high your attack is. Each bonk takes away a pig and also changes the colour, not that I'm entirely certain of the significance of this. These guys are 3D enemies, and can move back and forward in 3D mode. One thing to watch is that, whenever they hit a wall, they spin around before travelling in the opposite direction: This animation gets shorter when it's faster, yes, but it's a good time to catch it while it's paused.
...Uh, where did that come from? I think there are Tileoids, at least...
Anyway, here's our moneybags.
Although it only looks like we're 13 coins richer. Oh well. Worse ways to make a profit.
...That's going to get awkward. We can damage that Pigarithm by throwing things at it, but it's otherwise just going to be in the way.
Despite being a five hit combo attack in the animation, I don't think this will clear the screen of Pigarithms in practice. One hit, if you're lucky.
That's one way to get rid of it.
Max HP: ??, Attack: 2. Takes three stomps to beat. Stomp the piggy bank to get the golden goodness inside! Each time you stomp, the pig will get a little smaller.
Although it does give me this to add to the collection. Couldn't get it anywhere else.
...Oh. Where was there an opportunity for a key?
If we go all the way back to the Tileoid room before this one, we can find the door hiding in the third dimension on this platform. I suppose this is the reason for teaching us these platforms exist.
I will say, it looks really cool exiting this door in the second dimension.
No, the Slow Flower does not change your physics enough that this works. As hilarious as that would be.
Although tripling the coin bonus of a Pigarithm...
That's giving us a welcome boost.
...Of course there was a block behind the Slow Flower. Every time you don't check...
Anyway, let's cross over here.
That's a Barribad. It can shield itself with a strong barrier...Max HP is 4 and Attack is 2. It also shoots rings of energy from its mouth...You can't break its barrier, but you can flip to get places it might not want you to...
This guy, right here, is the only Barribad in the entire game. He has recolours, but they're similarly rare. The problem with Barribad is a combination of things, some of which those later encounters showcase.
The intended solution is for you to flip into 3D, enter his personal space, and then flip back to bonk him. In practice, his personal space is actually so small that there are other kinds of attacks (such as Thoreau and Bowser's fire breath) that can clip him from the outside, and if he happens to be perched on a precarious ledge, or a platform that exists only in 2D, these methods work better.
There's the key to the locked door.
Where does this take us, then?
...You didn't think we wouldn't be walking on the ceiling as soon as you saw that Pigarithm, did you? The Whoa Zone's signature gimmick is the fact that we'll be walking by any surface we can find.
Including the walls, too. It does bear mentioning that the D-Pad is oriented to your surface: That "press me to open door" indicator is not "press Up" flipped 90 degrees, that is legitimately "press Right". Yes, there is some platforming in a non-standard direction.
The Whoa Zone, despite being beautiful in 3D, wasn't entirely designed with it in mind: The camera will always flip 90 degrees to the left, and so while wall-walking, it will either rotate under Mario (on the left wall) or over him (on the right wall).
If 3D Mode didn't take away HP for staying too long, the right wall might've been a good place for a good ol' "Overhead POV" section.
This is probably the most extreme platforming we do on the walls, but it is awkward.
...So which door do I go in first...?
I tried the lower door, since it's the easier one to get into.
It was the wrong one.
One really has to wonder how the Mario devs make these coin caches so exciting despite coins having less and less value.
Anyway, heading all the way back up to that door you need Peach to get to.
Lots of Tileoids in here!
Seemed like a good idea, and hey, what else am I doing with it?
Still have to pick off a few, though.
Sneak into 3D to get down there, and...
Hit this block to change which way is up.
This will be more prominent later on.
Another ledge with Peach, of course. Wait, that block is...
Oh. This is a room I've been in before, just on the ground. I was wondering where those ceiling doors went.
...Can we just switch gravity here and open the door? Turns out, with a very well-timed HOME press, you can open this chest from the ground.
Which is good, because it's a long walk back.
Gratuitous gravity switches despite already having been introduced to the mechanic!
And the most blatantly obvious Gratuitous Tippi door! That was certainly a room.
This room is crawling with Eeligons.
On all four walls.
The Eeligons will stick to whatever wall they started on. Although these ones have found the block I need to hit...
The door on the ceiling is the way forward. Onward to the door on the right wall, then.
WHEE!
Well, that's cruel.
Also, in this room, it's doors, not rotating blocks. Presumably because the rotation would mean you only have to do one lap of the room and not two.
Healing, healing, zombie Shroom.
I think I know what's behind this door.
You know, once I do another lap of this big room. I think I'd have rathered the Lost Woods thing. At least constantly being dumped back at start is the conceit of the level there rather than bad design.
Hell, I know perhaps the SPM devs are the last guys to ask it of, but I feel like a single Back Cursya would be appropriate somewhere in here. Perhaps at the bottom of one of the Peach gaps, to be extra cruel, although a Back Cursya should probably be just as much of a joke. A legitimate one would probably turn away all but the most insanely devoted fans.
...I guess? We will need one for a recipe.
Let's just get moving ahead.
How rude.
Well, excuse me for not slipping in the locks like you did. 'Course, wouldn't have taken so long if it wasn't for the runarounds I got taken on.
Mario's blink frame is well timed. This is about the right place for something to stop that.
Like that, for instance. An ominous remark and the fading out of the Whoa Zone theme.
That voice definitely wasn't Squirps... although...
Squirps is a little slower on the uptake.
"Mario doesn't speak!" Of course, it is rather fitting that Mario is out...
Considering exactly whose voice we're hearing.
The villain lands "just off-screen", or rather, in the margins of the screen that exist on the widescreen Wii but not on Gamecube. Another remnant of the early developmental period.
Peach: Squirps, are you all right?
Bowser: Space niblet! You OK?
Tippi doesn't ask if Squirps is OK in Peach and Bowser's place. Because of course she wouldn't. When Bowser is being the better man, you may want to check yourself.
Our masked, mustachioed menace introduces himself with a only somewhat sinister theme and a deep, yet nasally, voiced chuckle.
This is a question that the game does not answer itself until right before the final boss, but which it barely does the bare minimum to conceal. I refuse to justify the game with the dignity of playing along.
But I suppose we should get an introduction to Luigi as Team Bleck has imagined him:
The dynamic gadgeteer genius of Team Bleck, Mr. L, Green Thunder!
Peach: Mr. L?
Bowser: Mr... L? What?!
...Yes, back in TTYD, when they promised Luigi would be a star player in the next game, this is what they were hyping you up for.
When Mr. L walks up, he "kicks" Squirps off-screen. This isn't a special animation, he just walks through the space Squirps is in and Squirps drops from the screen. I imagine this is a reference to how one defeated enemies in the original Mario Bros. for arcades- which happens to be Luigi's first official appearance, too.
Unlike the cowardly Luigi, Mr. L is cocky and confident. Like Luigi, his assessment of his own skills is nowhere near where he merits.
No one's coming to save you this time, dearest princess! Have at you!
Ooh, the evil king of all charlatans! Do I look scared? Have at you!
He needles at Peach and Bowser's conventional weaknesses, but for Mario, he taps into something that was more of a weakness of Luigi himself- that jealousy of the red bro always coming out on top.
That's Mr. L. This new hire of Count Bleck's a real mystery man... Max HP is 40. Attack is 3. He uses his high jump as a weapon... And that powered-up super jump is quite... super... He has no other outstanding features of note. And why does he remind me so much of Mario...?
Mr. L fights as a mirror match to Mario's abilities, or rather Luigi's. He will run around with less traction, leap into the air with greater height (bypassing Bowser's spiky shell, before you ask), and has the special ability to wind up on the ground before soaring into the air. When he does this, he has a hurtbox over his head- think the Super Jump Punch from Super Smash Bros.
His boss theme is, strangely, the "mini-boss theme". One thing I can say about the theme is that every boss it plays for is at least based on a traditional Mario IP enemy, rather than an original character like the game's menagerie of examples, but I thought the connection between Luigi, Bowser's minions and the final example would be more binding.
Mario/Peach bonks:
- 4 Atk: 10 bonks
- 5 Atk: 8 bonks
- 6 Atk: 7 bonks
Bowser bonks, Mario/Peach heavy:
- 4 Atk: 5 bonks
- 5 Atk: 4 bonks
- 6 Atk: 4 bonks
Bowser heavy:
- 4 Atk: 3 hits
- 5 Atk: 2 hits
- 6 Atk: 2 hits
Despite the greater heights Luigi can achieve, Mario can manage the better aiming.
Sometimes.
Occasionally, Mr. L will attempt to Use a Shroom Shake. The animation is longer than Mario's and doesn't pause the game, like ours does, but if he successfully performs it, he will heal 10 HP.
There are two ways to interrupt him: Hit him on the head, or use Thoreau to steal the Shake and add it to our own inventory. In the heat of the moment, I don't notice that disappointed animation he has when you do- it does turn up elsewhere in the game.
I'll also need it for myself.
Nothing personal, bro.
Anyway, I mentioned something about every single chapter boss having a unique boss theme?
Mr. L came packing a phase 2.
Even the people playing as Peach or Bowser get to hear Luigi's jealousy issues with this line: Although Mr. L has no memory of having an older brother to resent, that resentment towards a brotherly figure lingers on somewhere in his psyche. A resentment well-earned towards Paper Mario, an utter bastard to the poor guy in 64 and TTYD, but a resentment that doesn't fit in with Mario's treatment in other outings.
...Well, OK, perhaps SPM was a bit more of a wakeup call to the overall writing team than I give it credit for, because most examples of such are actually after this game.
One thing Mr. L has that Luigi does not is an association with mechanics. Luigi is often associated with thunder, yes- when he doesn't need to be a direct clone of Mario for gameplay reasons, the fiery effects that cloak Mario's special moves will often turn into thundery effects when copied to Luigi- but they've never really connected this to machines in other games. I'm not sure how this could be applied, although I wonder if they could bring back Bowser Jr.'s love of mechas for something for Luigi to handle. Although I think Toadette's supposed to be dealing with that now.
Back onto this game, that looks... a lot harder to bonk on.
Fortunately, we're not here to bonk on it.
Hey, Ms. Alwayskidnapped! I'll kidnap your FACE!
Hey, Mr. Getsfoiledallthetimebytheredguywiththemustache! I'll foil your FACE!
The insult game could use a lot of work. Beyond just the weak insult of "your FACE!" and the incredibly long name for Bowser, this proves nothing about your ability to jump.
That's the Brobot. This super robot is one of Mr. L's creations... Max HP is 255. Attack is 4. Defense is 3. Defense against fire is 6. It is loaded with different weapons that allow it to attack from any angle... Just try to avoid its attacks and use Squirps's beam when you get a chance... And try to grab a few Choco-Bars that float by...
The Brobot is a shmup battle to finish the shmup chapter. I feel like this was a bit of a late addition, because Squirps' miraculous recovery to serve as our gun has no explanation or even acknowledgement. Brobot's attacks include missiles and lasers, well telegraphed and in general treating this like a Shump. Brobot's HP is the highest in the game, tied only with a postgame-only damage sponge enemy. Although I notice this is the first and possibly only boss in the game with Defence: that number is static, and I think the idea is that you come into this fight at 4 Atk. Hope you've found 120,000 points somewhere across this whole adventure (not counting mandatory score, because I haven't done that yet), because I've seen people come into this fight with 3 Atk, and it's not pretty.
Brobot's boss theme, Brobot Battle, is a mix of Green Thunder's idea that fits the atmosphere and speed of a high-speed chase through the cosmos. It's not one of my favourites, but it does the job- and this fight is a favourite to make up for it.
Squirps (I've honestly never seen Bowser fight this fight much, but I did find one guy and it looks like Bowser uses the same shots):
- 4 Atk: 255 hits*
- 5 Atk: 128 hits*
- 6 Atk: 85 hits*
Brobot's basic attacks, which he fires during his downtime, are destructible missiles and single pew lasers that are easily shot down or avoided, respectively.
The asterisks on your boss fight timing are because of these: as you soar through the fight, bubbles with candy bars appear for the player's benefit. Picking these up will give Squirps a temporary powerup that speeds up the fight- a welcome boost at 4 Atk, but kinda makes the fight feel too short if you're stronger.
- Red bars increase Squirps's Attack power by 1: This is the direct reason I put an asterisk on the hit count.
- Yellow bars make Mario and co move around faster. Yes, the images don't match, I didn't have my finger on the capture button during a shmup.
- Green bars allow Squirps to shoot missiles for a short time, which deal Mario's damage output ignoring Brobot's defence.
- Blue bars create a barrier that nullifies Brobot's attacks.
- Purple bars will create a second Squirps that will shoot alongside the main one. Sometimes, the second Squirps can get confused on which direction it should be facing.
These can stack, but usually one wears off by the time you encounter a second, and almost defintely by the third. Especially if you have to go out of your way to pick them up.
Pew! Pew! Pew!
Wow, that's a lot of candy. Squirps is going to rest off a tummy ache after this.
Brobot's big attacks include a vacuum suction and this continuous laser.
I'm sad to say I didn't stick around long- I just like pew pew pewing. And also my Atk's too high for him.
Mr. L didn't see that one coming, dropping us off back where we started. That boss fight was entirely mechanics.
By the way, I found this out later, but the Brobot fight looks really cool in 3D. The fight itself is not, though.
He won't challenge us again until... OK, he actually comes after us sooner than any other member of Team Bleck has. Except Dimentio, if you count both 1-4 and 3-3.
As always, there is no evidence for this assertion. Luigi fits right in with the comically ineffective Saturday morning villain bluster.
Peach: Hmmm... That Mr. L fellow... I feel as though I've met him somewhere before...
Bowser: Hrmm... Mr. L. What a nutjob. I feel like I've seen that guy before...
Mario remains silent and Tippi doesn't pipe up in his place, but Peach and Bowser comment on Luigi's familiarity. The fact that Mario never has to voice the comically asinine assertion that they do not recognise Mr. L has given rise to the theory that Mario is fully aware of what's going on, although sadly, the fact he doesn't talk about his thoughts means there's nothing the game gets out of it.
(I call the joke asinine, but it is 100% in character for Bowser to have absolutely no idea who Luigi is. Part of Luigi's big redemption in Dream Team is Bowser finally learning to curse Luigi's name in addition to Mario's, rather than ignoring him or calling him "Green 'Stache". Peach has no such excuse.)
Squirps's miraculous recovery from Mr. L's attack comes in here. To be fair, it's not like Mr. L did much to him. He probably could walk it off, although it sounds like he hasn't quite finished yet.
But he's well enough to move on.
Now that Mr. L is no longer here to make Peach look like an idiot, we're back to playing as her.
...Squirps is a little kid, and it sounds like it's time we met the family.
We see only the parts of the screen that have been revealed thus far, and it suddenly occurs to me that that gold thing on the side of the screen looks a lot like the leg of a throne. Like, a throne way too big for Squirps to sit on it, but when the camera pans up there, you would not be surprised to learn that it is in fact a gigantic ostentatious chair for a purple Squirps.
But no, this is instead a statue, of a much larger creature. Squirps is clearly due for a huge growth spurt.
Squirps is indeed the Prince of this kingdom, but regardless of how great it is, was, or ever will be, he is far too young for the title to be anything but a description of his birth.
I don't think the name "Korogaline" means anything, but "Squirpina" implies a throne that either started on the female line, is predominately female with Squirps as an exception, Squirpina XIV is not part of a long line of name inheritance, or Squirps is going to have an exciting puberty.
A valid reason, and a perfectly good reason not to tell us. But I don't think Squirps understands any of the ways he is "a target", and he was vulnerable to precisely none of them along the way. I don't think anybody we've met in the story, major or minor, recognises the title of "Prince of Squirpia".
Squirpina, or possibly her ancestor, was one of the people chosen by the Ancients to be a safeguard of the Pure Heart.
Either Squirpina was naturally trustworthy, or they chose Squirpina because they wanted to put it in the Whoa Zone and Squirpina was in charge.
...Wait, I always thought this was just a hundred years or something. You were in cryo-sleep for the whole wait? Also the Squirpians are either really long-lived or this kid didn't even age in that time. Clearly Squirpina meant business when she was tasked with safeguarding this Pure Heart.
Tippi: Ah... So that's why.
Bowser: Huuuuurgh! My brain hurts! I can't keep up with plot points this complicated!
Tippi understands why Squirps is the way he is, Peach sympathises with the plight he is now in, and Bowser has absolutely no idea what is going on. It's not the most complicated thing in the world, man, use those brain cells.
As the one tasked with bestowing upon us the Pure Heart, and seemingly the last Squirpian alive to do the job, Squirps is prepared to complete his duty.
In the way he has always done so.
Peach acquires her first Pure Heart! I don't think I've ever gone out of my way to see this animation- she's standing on her toes despite already being in heels, look at those shoes poking out from under her dress.
"Phew! Now that Squirps is all relaxed, Squirps feels kinda... tired..." said Squirps. And with that, Squirps lay down before the statue of his beloved mother. "Mother..." he said, his voice soft. "I did my best, right? Are you... proud... of me?" Then... slowly... young Squirps closed his eyes... The mission had weighed heavy on his tiny back, and he was proud to fulfill it.
...Rest well, Squirps. But you'd better wake up in the next few weeks, wouldn't want you to catch cold out here in the depths of the Space Graveyard, would we?
Next time: Flipside gets an expansion. Finally.
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