SPM Post-Chapter 1: Playing as the Princess

We begin our post-chapter experience by watching O'Chunks get chewed out by his manager for getting his ass whooped.

O'Chunks is so ashamed of letting the Count down that he feels bad enough about it, he hardly needs Nastasia lecturing him on the subject to inspire these feelings.

Bleck is not particularly upset with Chunks for losing, instead observing that Mario clearly cannot be taken lightly.

Fortunately, Bleck has a key advantage over us: He has a book that can tell him exactly what we do. He knows where we have to go and can set up traps ahead of us.

...Wait, if he knows where we have to go, surely he knows where the Pure Hearts are and can take proactive measures, right?

Nastasia was one step ahead, and has already done what Bleck has asked.

Mimi has already left, a fact that continues to obscure her default form. Not only are we walking into a trap, but we don't even know what Mimi looks like, so it will be a surprise when we find her.

...Ideally.

And Bleck departs, confident he won't need to care about this anymore.

I dunno why, I love the fact that the Dark Prognosticus has its own box to denote it leaving the room.

Super Paper Mario Chapter 1: The Adventure Unfolds

With the Prologue shrunken away to nothing here (ironically, in the most plot heavy game in the trilogy), Chapter 1 has the burden of explaining all the mechanics, in addition to introducing the game's signature gameplay gimmick. So then... what actually happens?

1-1 has us go right to Bestovius, learn how to flip, and then do a bunch of basic "look at what 3D does for you!" setpieces. 1-2 has us drop in on Yold Town, which is one of surprisingly few settlements in the game, yet only really seems to act as setup to get us to find Thoreau- something many later Pixls can manage without being blatantly railroaded. 1-3 is a trawl through the desert, with a brief stop to throw hands with O'Chunks. And then 1-4 is a (bit of a watered-down) dungeon with Fracktail as the boss, and then some exposition with Merlumina- exposition that the game actively jokes about skipping- and the parts we do get don't seem to agree on what, exactly, we were supposed to be learning. For a "plot-heavy" game, it's not opening with its best foot at all, is it?

Many of the game's most beloved elements aren't in play yet. We haven't seen much of Team Bleck's other members, we haven't seen anything about the game's central characters, we haven't been introduced to a mechanic that minimises some of the writing weaknesses that happen here, our toolset in general is pretty meagre (although this may also shore up some of the pacing), and the worst part of it all is that we don't even get a coherent story to make up for it. Chapter 1 of 64 could get you invested with the coolness factor of the Koopa Bros. while you were coming to grips with the new mechanics the game just let you start using. Chapter 1 of TTYD had Koops's quest to find closure with Hooktail and his father, and also fed you a lot more plot details about the Door and the treasure to get you started, even if the X-Nauts weren't introduced until afterwards. SPM is expecting you to maintain your interest purely based on the opening cutscene, the stakes of the story, and virtually nothing internal to Chapter 1 itself. Failing to bait a compelling story hook is a death knell for stories, and SPM is perhaps a textbook example of that. Regardless of whether or not you like where it goes, it is impossible to deny that it practically requires trusted recommendation or investment from spoiled later events to make it through some otherwise dull (although thankfully short) opening segments.

Mechanically, the chapter is a bit of a mixed bag. This is their chance to showcase some of the ingenuity afforded to them by the new 3D mechanic, something I'm sure Miyamoto wishes he could've been the one to design, but because this game is still being designed by RPG experts first and foremost, this game doesn't fully scratch that Mario-esque platforming that the level design evokes, which only really serves to highlight some of the narrative flaws highlighted earlier. When neither your RPG narrative or your platforming whimsy is firing on all cylinders, you look less like you have a plan and more like your cute idea to combine two disparate genres is backfiring by both genres making critical concessions to support the other. While that's not to say SPM repairs this when both RPG and platformer sides are at their most involved, having your flaws be noticeable while your strengths are being kept secret is the worst possible position to leave yourself in at this critical stage of the story. This is not a problem that many RPGs are in the habit of solving, but I think, Shhwonk Fortress aside, TTYD wasn't actually that bad about balancing secrecy with hooking the player.

SPM Chapter 1 Part 2: Grit In Your Grunders

With a bold quiver of his magnificent mustache, Mario let loose a hearty sneeze. A single grain of sand had flown along the warm wind and tickled the hero's nose. It wasn't long before Mario and Tippi found the source of the sand: the Yold Desert. Along the endless, sunbaked expanse, Mario and Tippi continued their search...

Watchitt: "I warned you about the grit."

Now then, we had the rocky desert level, time for the sandy desert level! Now containing... zero Pokeys? What's the point of a desert level if there aren't any Pokeys?

Now then, we have a massive desert to explore to find some ruins, and this time we're not getting any help from Moustafa. Fortunately, there are only two directions to explore.

...Well, do keep an eye out for the third dimension.

This isn't particularly clear, but there is something important to note now that we're using Thoreau in actual practical situations: If Mario is holding a 2D enemy (like this Squiglet), changes his dimension, and throws it, the enemy will stay in whatever dimension it now occupies. There are some enemies (none of whom we have met yet) who don't care about whether they're in 2D or 3D, but 2D enemies will be the most common. Remember that 2D enemies can only hurt you if you're in the same dimension as them.

New pickup! Speed Flowers will make you move around faster, making it trickier to platform, but anything you collect with get a x3 multiplier. Grab one and make an enemy combo to see your EXP fly!

That's a Zombie Shroom. It is an evil shroom monster that comes out of ? Blocks... Max HP is 1. Attack is 2. It can move very fast in a limited area... But it has low HP, so you can take it out...

Some Mushrooms will turn out to be evil mushrooms. They don't actually chase you, just run back and forth really fast like a Metal Slime. It is worth 300 points to bop and usually gives out a ton of cash, too.

Actual healing!

...Dammit, these were 3D blocks.

SPM Chapter 1 Part 1: In Trouble? Flip!

Yep. That's right. We're going full old-school with this game and subdividing each Chapter (or perhaps World) into four pieces, like one would see in the original Super Mario Bros. If you leave a Chapter early with the Return Pipe, you start from X-1, and must walk through each level to get to where you were.

Your first time entering a chapter begins with the game drawing it.

I will give the game credit for this, every Chapter is visually distinct in such a way that this is a treat to watch each new artstyle.

Welcome to Lineland, a world with World 1's aesthetic and a ton of mathematical formulae in the background. All of which are foolish, fairly sure, even if they weren't using Mario iconography instead of numbers.

Nice of the doors to put us far away from the Pure Hearts we're being sent to find, by the way.

Again, we're putting a lot of faith in the Light Prognosticus to assume he's even here.

Tippi is the game's equivalent to Goombella, in that she can Tattle enemies. Or, you know, anything you can click on.

And by that, I mean that quite literally. This is a Wii game, and that meant justifying that shiny new remote with some good old-fashioned motion controls! I mean that quite literally, and I'm not just saying that because it's really tricky for me to get the movement done on emulator.

Tippi is about as useful as Goombella, positively and negatively.

Incidentally, attempting to use Tippi on yourself will give you a clue about how to proceed. As if Merluvlee wasn't useless enough.

Each chapter segment has an area name that pops up in the corner when you get control.

Our first enemy! Was it any surprise? In this game, kinda.

It's a Goomba, one of Bowser's minions... Max HP is 1 and Attack is 1. It really puts the "under" back in "underlings"... It has no remarkable traits... They are pretty much the lowest of the low... But I hear Goombas do have their fans, so what can you do...

Goomba has, somehow, been nerfed tremendously from the RPGs. Lost a point in HP, and its offensive presence is significantly reduced- it can't Headbonk any more. So what does it do instead?

...Get stomped. It will deal 1 damage to you if you touch it, but they're easy to squish and mostly exist for free resources. For now, Mario does 1 damage per bonk on the head.

The Line Between Platformer and RPG: Super Paper Mario

Once upon a time, there was a man who worked at Nintendo. His job was to play the Mario games produced by people other than Nintendo EAD and ensure that the games fit in with the Mario IP. This man played an innocuous little game called "Super Paper Mario" and gave it the Nintendo Seal of Approval.

What the hell was he thinking?

In all seriousness, Super Paper Mario is a game unlike any other in Mario's vast, vast collection, and in many ways, the line between the classic Paper Mario trilogy and the modern one is drawn here. I don't think fans of Super Paper Mario fully realise just how not-Mario this game is. And let me just say, 2007 was quite the time for this game to come out, in the context of not only the Mario RPGs, but in terms of what Nintendo EAD was up to...

But for now, to really sell exactly what it is we're looking at, we have to talk about how this game was marketed. Rather than being a turn-based combat system like 64 and TTYD, SPM shares a lot more in common with New Super Mario Bros. (at the time, the only new entry into the 2D Mario sphere in years). As a result, a number of commercials, including one I saw very young that I tragically couldn't track down, liked to advertise this game as another entry in the critically acclaimed Mario series, using a major ability introduced early in Chapter 1 as if it was a Miyamoto-esque signature gimmick. Trust me, if you're coming into this game expecting anything even remotely similar to the actual platformers, you are inadequately prepared for the sheer waves vaguely you are about to witness. I suspect this may have ultimately been something the hurt the project on multiple levels.

But let's actually delve in to what exactly we're looking at here.

From the wish-granting heavens and a fabled treasure comes... a book of prophecies. So far so good.

And right away, we can see that unusual tone make its impact. We interrupt your regularly scheduled Mario wahoos to bring you a morality tale on the nature of seeking to know your own destiny.

This isn't even going to be the actual substance of the story, by the way. This is just the backstory of a key item.

It knows the outcome of all the world's history. All of it. What country do you live in? What regime do you live under? This book can tell you how and when it dies. Not if. When. If you're the ruler of that regime, it's probably going to involve your death. Are you looking forward to that? Want to overthrow the old world and establish a new one? Yup, it'll tell you how the new one dies too.

Fortunately, it looks thin enough that if you're not a major factor in human history, your death will be just a footnote. ...Whether that's actually something you take comfort in may differ from person to person.

This seems like a good idea. I mean, whenever it's being owned by somebody reading it, it clearly ends in disaster.

("Prognosticus" is not a real world. It appears to be an extension of the word "prognosis"- which is the doctor's explanation for what they think your disease is going to do to you if left unchecked- with a Latin ending to make it sound like a book. Honestly, the word alone is funny enough to inspire the giggle it wants you to have.)

The mention of the book's "last owner" is interesting, because I think we're supposed to interpret the story as being about someone who owned the book after the sealing previously detailed, but the way this passage is written, it sounds like the book will be sealed after the events of the game and we're seeing the explanation why. I'm going to assume that, either way, the book will get sealed away and for good reason.

Yes, this story is, in fact, a tale of love. Somehow.

Oh great, now we're reading it. No wonder the game caused so much division.