Reopening the game on a completed save file shows the "Mario faces spinning" animation associated with reopening the game on a file that saved after clearing a Bowser intermission. Not sure why, but also not sure why not.
Our semi-public, semi-private ferryman is happy to bring us back, although he can never be summoned to "finish" the post-game. Mario is stuck here in the world of Rogueport forever, or at least until you stop touching the save file.
Yep, Goombella was awaiting our return at the docks. We went partner-less for the first Crump fight and a few parts of Chapter 4, so the game can handle that state, but I do kinda wonder if Goombella being here for us is the game denying a potential crash.
And with nothing but a "I'm sure he knows what he's doing", he's happy to leave.
Welcome back to Rogueport. There's not that much to do around here narratively, but it's nice to be able to finish up everything we didn't get around to before taking out the Shadow Queen.
And this is a mention of the game having not done something that was set up by Goombella's email and hinted at in optional dialogue:
The whole party is by our side immediately. There were clues that, originally, we had to pull them from their respective endings to lend a hand, and the most likely reason they removed that was to make sure you didn't get into any situations you couldn't get out of. I don't think there are any such situations to worry about, but the devs were clearly more cautious.
Frankly's House:
Whoa, Mario! You're back!! That's awesome! Y'know, I was just thinking of meeting you again... So, like, why don't we go do some more adventuring? Yeah, totally! Count me in!
Goombella has joined your party!
Great to see you again, Mario!
Koops' House:
Mario! I'm so glad I got to see you again! So, you're off on another adventure, eh? Yes, of course I'll go with you!
Koops has joined your party!
Come on! Let's go!
Flurrie's House:
Oh, Mario! Mario! Long time no see, sweetie! I've finished my latest performance, and I'm enjoying a well-earned vacation! Are you going on another adventure? Well, if you are, I will SURELY come along! After all, I must continue to improve upon my talents.
Flurrie joined your party!
I wonder what kind of drama awaits us this time!
Glitz Pit Entrance:
Hey whats going on! Gonzales! I knew you'd come eventually! We're going on another adventure, right? YESSS! I'm all over it! Let's give that great big world another left jab!!!
Dr. Agon joined you!
Oh, yeah... I registered us at the Glitz Pit again! We can be champs again!
(Annoyingly, my source doesn't specify where you can find Vivian.)
Mario! It's like a dream come true to see you again. Of course I'll go with you! I'll follow you wherever you want to go.
Vivian has joined your party!
Nice to see you again.
Keelhaul Key:
Well now! Is that you, Mario? Fancy meeting you here! Even I have found myself paying a visit to this island on occasion!! What!? You're venturing forth once more? Hrm... well, isn't that fortunate? Take me along, then. I'm simply overflowing with gratitude towards you! If there's any task I can accomplish, just say the word!
Bobbery joined your party!
Now then, let us away, Mario!
Lovely Howz of Badges:
Oh, my! It's been so long, my handsome mustachioed mister! I've been yearning for a reunion ever since we parted! Could it be you're re-embarking on an adventure? That's what your expression tells me. You needn't say a thing! I'll happily go along with you!
Ms. Mowz joined your party!
Now, shall we depart?
The dialogue for regathering everyone. Koops, Flurrie and Dr. Agon are the only ones that got translated for the Western release- Vivian's was left untranslated and the other three had theirs blanked.
There are a good number of people in the world who have no idea what the world going dark meant, and the fact it seems to have fixed itself within an hour or two means they're fairly sure they don't need to care- correctly. We can talk to some of those people in this game!
Meanwhile, this guy understands and appreciates the stakes, and has taken a new lease on life. Can he capitalise on it? Possibly not, but he's gonna try and that's what matters.
I'm more interested in the casualties of a treasure hunt than I am in the treasure. Morbid, huh? Yeah, I know. Well, you try not to become a treasure ghost, OK, pal?
I think this is one of his lines from earlier in the game (specifically, when it's time for us to set sail on the S.S. Flavion). Yeah, he's definitely on an upswing.
...I guess I should've figured there'd be some of that.
This is the "you don't know nothing" tutorial guy. The sheer breadth of reactions one can find in Rogueport is amazing. And exactly what you'd expect from this den of scum and villainy.
...Wait, wasn't there a Trouble to get you caught up to that guy? So much for having done that.
The world ending gave him a chance to reorganise his priorities. Although credit card debt is surely serious enough that you can't exactly blame him for being concerned about it.
New Trouble email!
...............................!!! ..............? ...............! Umm... Is this right? Do I just type or what? ...Yeah, OK.
So... hey! I was so happy you got me that Honey Candy! My voice came back and everything, but maybe I was a little too jolly... I started shouting and now I lost my voice again. I'm resting now.
So, yeah, there may not be much here in Fahr Outpost, but at least we got snow! Yeah! We have snowbomb fights here! We put tiny Bob-ombs inside our snowballs so that they explode when they hit! It's super dangerous, which makes it super cool! Unfortunately, it also makes it super illegal! Which is pretty lame... But come visit anyway!
Later! Gob
...I have so many questions. I don't think I want to ask them.
(Small Bob-ombs are only considered separate by Super Mario RPG, which called them Microbombs. I don't think Mario has had much use for Bob-ombs other than "normal size" and "comically large".)
This guy has finally learned he's going to have to try a little harder than that.
Yeah! Like, maybe something where I sing one song and collect royalties forever?
Although one of his suggestions was for something it was possible to do. Well, possible if you're born to the right people. So perhaps "possible" is the wrong word.
In this town? I don't think it matters whether the minimum wage is livable, you may have to fight to earn it.
...You'd think his name would actually be on the board, then.
Excellent advertising, Luigi. Although this strikes me as exactly the sort of thing he'd do. "Not on the same channel, of course."
Super Luigi Volume 5
- Journey's End -
At long last, Luigi crossed the threshold of Hatesong Tower. Luigi rallied his allies. "We will defeat the Chestnut King. We must!"
Friends by his side, Luigi at last faced the fell Chestnut King... but then he heard a voice, and spun to see the fair Princess Eclair.
She told our hero the painful truth: the "evil" Chestnut King was actually her true love, made monstrous by Crepe in a bid for the throne.
At that moment, the villainous Crepe appeared. "The Marvelous Compass, please. Hand it over, and the Luff empire will rule again! Mwa ha!"
Luigi and Co. were no match for the might of Crepe, their true enemy. But then, the compass piece in Eclair's tiara shone forth!
It bestowed the future-sight on Luigi! Knowing Crepe's every move, he smote the fiend with his mallet! And with that... it was all finally over.
Luigi and his friends parted, leaving the Waffle Kingdom in peace. But Luigi regretted not gazing farther into the future...
He longed to see the Wafflers gathering on Princess Eclair's wedding day... He wanted to see her beauty, and who stood at her side...
But it was not to be. Luigi went back to his humble home, which remained exactly as he had left it, a cold comfort for his heavy heart.
Taking up a book he had been reading, Luigi tried to read, but his long trial had sapped his strength, and he soon fell asleep.
Luigi dreamt of his friends and his beloved Princess Eclair. And sleeping, Luigi spoke... "I shall return."
THE END
Guess that explains what the Goomba King is doing here.
Look closely, and you might notice that's exactly how TTYD ended too. Well, OK, maybe not "exactly", but in the broad strokes: Mario was told to gather a legendary treasure, and was misled into leading the villain right to the benefit of that treasure. The tool with which to find it, which had been painted as Neutral-leaning-Evil beforehand, turns out to be Good and chooses the mustachioed hero to be led to victory by granting him their powers.
Unlike Mario, who keeps his reactions to the story largely under his hat, Luigi was far more significantly impacted by the deceit part of the story: He likely didn't tell Mario about the nature of Crepe because he felt far worse about nearly leading the villain to victory. In addition to this, the fact he didn't wind up winning Eclair's heart (she's already engaged!) may have played a non-zero contribution- I'm not sympathetic, since once again, Daisy goes completely unmentioned. A nice ending to Luigi's story might be to have Mario share how he, too, was played like a fiddle by Grodus and Beldam: Luigi thinks Mario to be unstoppable and infallible, so to hear about his less fortunate adventures would help him lower his standards for his own heroism. It doesn't matter if he's not doing it as well as Mario- Mario still has room for improvement himself.
Don't mention it.
Looks over shoulder EVER. I know it, not sure if Ishnail and Frankie want to hear it.
But I will accept the accolades.
You and everyone else in the world.
...OK, yeah, but...
This guy was always on the more positive end of the scale.
Sure, I want money, but I don't need a lot of it. The way I see it, the more money you have, the more money you WANT to have. If I have enough to help my friends and enjoy my days, I'll be fine. Secret of life, man!
You know, I suppose you'd have to classify me as a rogue. But I have standards. I only steal from the rich. Who could steal from people who also have cash problems?
No longer stealing is nice, but also he lives in Rogueport, so...
Grifty doesn't get anything new.
Right, we were promised a mention of what was in the chest. So, Frankly, spill the beans.
...I didn't mean literally.
...Then where did all the non-Dried Shrooms I found in there come from?
From a narrative perspective, I'm just fine with this outcome- it's absolutely good execution of the idea. I'm just a little skeptical because of all the Ultra and Life Shrooms (and Jammin' Jellies) that we found as well.
If you talk to Frankly again, he'll talk about his... "affection" for this place. Since Goombella is perpetually in our party, she's not going to go back to continue her efforts alongside him, although at least he has stuff to do himself.
The playwright of "Paper Mario". Or, well, it seems he did a book, too. I assume the Japanese title is different, because this feels like Herringway could totally sue for trademark. You can't just use the same title of the book.
Grrr... I can't write anything good at all... I just stink. I stink at writing. I bet if I were to ride on the Excess Express, I could come up with a good tale...
Grrr... I can't write anything good at all... I'm just bad. I am BAD at writing. Maybe I'll take the family somewhere far away to blast my creative side into gear...
Everyone was so happy once I finally made some solid travel plans. Imagine that! It's good to take vacations. Yeah, real good... I even got an idea for my novel! It's gonna be "The Adventures of This Guy Standing Right Here... Mario"! Yeah! If I ever finish it, I'll let you know. I'm not promising any royalties or anything, though.
Lead-up dialogue for this reveal. That idea to go on a vacation seems to have paid off big time re-starting his thought processes, and that's certainly one way to get your thoughts into gear. Although I have to wonder who told him about our...
...It was Flurrie, wasn't it?
It sure would be nice to eat dinner as a family and take a vacation sometime... But we never hang out together as a family... It's terrible...
My family never talks. We all do our own things. I just wish...
Hey, Mom cooked spaghetti yesterday! It was soooo delicious! And my brother asked if I wanted to play soccer with him! It was so fun! And Dad said we were all going to take a trip together. I'm so happy!
My family is so happy now. So I'm happy, too!
The son's perspective on how this all shook out. Definitely feels like you were intended to talk to these characters more often than I wound up doing.
The reason I'm always hanging out around here is because it's so boring back at home. My dad spends all day writing bad novels that never sell, Mom LIVES at the parlor... And my brother never leaves the house at all. Yeah, so you can see why I'm not exactly in a rush to go back there.
My kid brother never sets foot outside. Maybe I should offer to let him play with me. Yeah... I think I'll ask him if he wants to play soccer with me.
I asked my brother if he wanted to play soccer with me, and he was so happy. If I'd known it would make him so happy, I would have asked him sooner, y'know? But since I didn't, I'll just have to play with him that much more from now on!
I played soccer with my kid brother yesterday. Boy, it was so fun! He's actually pretty darned athletic! We're getting along really well now. We're gonna play together again tomorrow. I can't wait!
Remember the kid who almost fell in the grate, to tell us about that entrance to Rogueport Sewers for Chapter 4? Turns out he's the missing older brother of the family! I didn't know this until I saw it in the textdump. The fact he just spontaneously decides to go invite his brother to play is hilarious, but it's a heartwarming enough ending.
I love checking my scores on this machine after playing games. I'm here all DAY! What? My family is worried about me? Oh, don't be silly! They don't mind! They're all so independent. They're happiest doing their own things! ♪
I love checking my scores on this machine after playing games. I'm here all DAY! What? My family is worried about me? Oh, don't be silly! They don't mind! Everyone in my family has their own fun, personal lifestyles! ♪
I love checking my scores on this machine after playing games. I'm here all DAY! What? You're wondering what my family eats for dinner? Oh, don't worry about it! I mean, if and when we want to eat, we each just go buy our own food! ♪
I love checking my scores on this machine after playing games. I'm here all DAY! What? You say my kids have it rough?
...
Oh, they're just fine! My kids are independent and tough! They can handle it! ♪ But... I guess I SHOULD pay a little more attention to them, maybe...
Guess what! I made a big spaghetti dinner for my kids yesterday! They were so very happy! It was great! I felt very... I don't know... motherly! ♪ If I get to see smiles like those, I'll make dinner for them more often! ♪ ...But I still can't help coming here to check the high scores pretty often.
I went on a trip with the whole family the other day. It was fantastic! It was really fun spending time together as a family! ♪ I still can't stop checking the high scores on this machine, of course... But I'm definitely going to spend more time with my family from now on! ♪
And, of course, Mum climbing out of her pit of addiction. Sounds like that's still an issue, but with Dad having a best-seller and the two kids going out to play, the problems with this arrangement are being mitigated.
Idle rich Koopa finally found something to do! Well, OK, "Executive Producer" isn't exactly a position that holds any weight.
He's definitely talking about his neighbour's version of "Paper Mario". Herringway's isn't exactly "disturbing".
It's definitely an effective use of your money (assuming you give me royalties) but I'm less sure it requires your help. Unless you want to play the part of Koops or something.
I... want to say I understand where she's coming from, but regularly paying high prices for tickets to the theatre to escape a town that's full of dramatic encounters doesn't exactly sound like a good time.
Wow, the in-universe play of TTYD is popular. Everyone crowding in to see that one.
...Although she has the opposite reaction if you come to chat with her with Flurrie out. I can see why they're not giving you the tickets in favour of people who haven't seen it yet, maybe.
I loved your performance in a "A Mid-Winter Day's Nap"! I've seen it THREE times!
I loved your performance in "Scrambled Eggs and Hamlet"! I've seen it TEN times!
I loved your performance in "The Boy Who Cried Woo"! I've seen it 100 times!
I loved your performance in "The Cowing of King Steer"! I've seen it TEN times!
I loved your performance in "The Dunking of Noodle"! I've seen it 100 times!
Huh. Apparently, every chapter, she has a new play she wants to gush about seeing Flurrie in back when she was active.
Oh dear, it looks like Francesca is going to get up to the same problems Don Pianta did. Wonder what her exit strategy is.
Apparently, that. Well, this was a one-off windfall, not a long-term strategy.
...I wonder if part of the reason for this is "you" is what he calls people he's going to beat up, and Mario's... a bit out of his league. Hard to scare someone who can mop the floor with you.
Easy for you lot to say. You're the ones with power in this arrangement. That said, I'm sure the crime families coming together and pooling resources might be the best thing that happened to this town, although I certainly don't want to ask too many questions about how the costs of any renovations they might perform...
That's the censors only paying attention to your deeds when you're depicted on-screen.
Frankie and I are madly in love, but I'm not sure he really wants kids... It's kind of sad...
...I wouldn't necessarily say that this baby is conceived yet. Frankie, run.
Frankie, sadly, fails to develop much of a personality to speak of. Probably for the best.
Yeah, boy, havin' kids... Listen, Mario, when does a guy find true happiness? Whoa, what am I sayin'? The Pianta syndicate boss can't be talkin' like dat!
Because being him is such a miserable time that any spotlight for it simply makes you hate Francesca and the Don that much more. And they're not supposed to be unsympathetic characters.
Flavio
is still dealing with the loss of that coveted "richest man" spot,
although he is happy to do it again if the opportunity arises.
Toadsworth's
still up here, not that he says anything interesting. Peach is
perfectly safe, unlike many other "postgames" that put her back in her
peril so you can do the final boss levels, and you'd think that she'd be
an NPC somewhere- or at least that Toadsworth would comment on what she's doing now that she's allowed to be free.
Luigi has set up here in the inn of Rogueport, in case you ever want to hear the recounts of his stories again. His partner no longer accompanies him.
He's also got a brand new chapter in the story, too!
Actually, know what? This guy actually novelized my quest! He's been interviewing me. He was actually interviewing me here at the inn during breaks from my adventure!
I didn't think anyone would be interested in reading a book about Luigi... But "Super Luigi" came out recently, and check this out, Bro: here in Rogueport... It's set a new record for consecutive weeks at number one on the best-seller list!!! Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Hooray for Luigi, Bro!
I started reading it the other day, but it's an encyclopedic account in multiple volumes... Excruciating detail, Bro. It's like a history book! ...It seemed like one, anyway. They've got it in the shop here in Rogueport. How about you snag a copy, Bro?
...So he hasn't even read his own book? Bet he doesn't know it told us the ending. Because we don't tell him.
...
Mario continues to be a bit of a jerk.
Right, time to face the music.
Hello, TEC. Fancy seeing you alive. This is a more pleasant state of being than Mario found you after defeating Crump.
...Technically, Mario never found this out. That information was strictly for the player's benefit. As far as Mario was concerned, though, the practical outcome was the same.
And apparently, that's all we're getting on the subject.
Well, OK, no. That's all we're getting. Apparently, Peach's prayer and restoration during the Shadow Queen fight reached TEC, too.
...
Literally what are you even doing at this point, guys...
If you talk to them again, this is what TEC will say. They're... well... honestly, bringing them back to sentience was the crueler fate. They're just going to be left stranded here on the Moon, after all, Mario doesn't have a thumbdrive powerful enough to take them home. Nor does he seem to possess the will to try.
This is when I went and did the Space Food demonstration. Here, it's a demonstration that X-Yuxes still exist to be fought on the Moon. The X-Nauts' genetic research seems to have resulted in an invasive species... figures. Perhaps one day TEC will be party to people who care about lunar life enough to cull these. Assuming anyone in Rogueport believes there are life forms on the Moon in the first place.
Three new Troubles to find in the postgame. The first two are weird for their positioning. The third is... we'll get to him later.
I got in a fight with my mom, and I need you to help me make up with her. I'll be waiting near the sanctum in Poshley Heights.
Starting with Bub this time.
(Well, actually, after I started the quest, I found out I needed Cake Mix, so quickly getting myself some of that and cooking up a Shroom Cake).
We head to Poshley Heights and find one of the other significant post-game details: We saw Parakarry in the opening, and here we can find the other Paper Mario 64 Partner cameo, Lady Bow! Of course it's Lady Bow.
Well, OK, admittedly, another part of this is that it's so much easier to write Lady Bow coming to visit Poshley Heights than any other pairing of Partner and location. Where would Goombario and his family pop up? Bombette? Sushie and the Yoshi Kids? Very few of the game's locations are the sorts of places tourists would willingly go to- this is by design- and Glitzville and Poshley, the two that are tourist destinations, are explicitly priced out of most people's wallets. Lady Bow, being a rich socialite with money to burn, is expected to appear in these places, but nobody else was going to go that far out of their way just to see Mario. If they even expected to.
A month less than four years, I believe. What have you been haunting?
Just because she's a rich socialite with nothing to do doesn't mean she can't have vacations. I mean, who's going to stop her? She's a ghost! OK, probably E. Gadd and his vacuum cleaner.
She still has her iconic laugh, although sadly, no matching animation. I mean, why bother adding her fan as an asset for one line? (Also, TTYD characters in general don't really animate in that way.)
The brighter green colour TTYD gave you certainly gives you a more regal air than you had in 64. In-universe, that's probably makeup, although maybe it's just lighting/artstyle. Since she doesn't expect to do anything rough-and-tumble like beating up Tubba Blubba, she can dress up as fine as she wants.
That's Bow. Wait a second! Mario! Exactly WHAT is your relationship with her?!? Tell me NOW! Hee hee hee hee hee hee! Just kidding! I always wanted to say that. But you DID go on an adventure with her, right? Tell me sometime, OK?
Rolls eyes Real mature. ...Does Goombella ever realise Mario is single-target interested in Peach?
Bootler continues to be nothing but an extension of Bow. He wouldn't have it any other way.
That's Bootler. He's Bow's butler... but what does a butler do, exactly? It looks like he only listens to Bow, so I guess he wouldn't answer me if I asked...
They buttle, ma'am.
Speaking of postgame NPCs, Pennington will actually address you as Mario now he's made that realisation.
So, how are you doing, Luigi? Do remember to say hello to your brother for me, hmm?
Pennington actually references Mario to "Luigi's" face. Even when he assigns the credit to Luigi, Luigi doesn't get credit.
That's Bub the Bob-omb. He's from a very rich family, so he's kind of spoiled. He put in a request to help him make up with a certain someone.
This is the only time Bub gets a new Tattle for a new map. He shows up in Glitzville, Excess Express and Poshley, but somehow Goombella never seems to change her mind on him.
That sounds like a reasonable response to this conflict, and something I'd expect him to doubt.
He has done his own work, although somehow I feel doubtful of his methods. As far as I can tell, there isn't actually a difference: Me going out of my way for a Shroom Cake is purely because I felt it was the best of his choices. And also I kinda expected there to be different outcomes.
Bub: "You've never steered me wrong yet."
Bub has the money, but he doesn't have the ability to go buy it himself. Nor does he provide us the coins to buy it. He expects us to supply our own funds.
Spoilt brat.
The three possible options are listed in separate textboxes in the textdump, but are as far as I can tell identical. I wonder if there was supposed to be a difference, or at least an acknowledgement that the three items are different.
Bub at least wrote the letter himself. Probably for the best. Means it's genuinely from him.
Although he's not prepared to take the final step on his own.
Right. Time to head two screens over and initiate the apology.
Another letter, duly delivered. A postman's job is truly never done.
Even while the two are in conflict, Sylvia sees no problem with this. Even through tough times, they're still mother and son.
...This is what the fight is over? Homework isn't as valuable as many people believe, and modern teachers do try and move away from it. The youngest people on staff for this game would have been in school no later than the eighties (and even those were probably the interns), and unless you're actually interested in pedagogy, you probably assume the system that taught you is good enough. Or you think school is worthless.
...That's... an interesting perspective on Bub's position as a male and as a rich person. No matter who he is, he should not be expected to provide this. The expectation that Sylvia needs to be provided these and cannot get them on her own merits is worth interrogating too, but what kind of family is this? Almost entirely nuts, of course.
This is pretty universal no matter what family you're in. And it's messed up every time you're at this point.
Sylvia recognises that much, at least, and goes off to have a chat with her son.
And a good long cry.
A sad cry at some points, presumably, but the final result is happy.
...Wait, was that just to have a cry without us watching? Did you not talk to Bub after all? So much for what I was thinking.
Tell him yourself.
OK, I get your intention, but that is not what you said with that turn of phrase.
I think you are not nearly as prepared for the trials of motherhood as I initially gave you credit.
Hm? Bub?
...................................
Who's that? I know no Bub... I have no son at all! Don't speak to me...
And it turns out it had the potential to be even worse, if you chat to her before getting Bub's Package.
I feel like I owe it to my sister, who is currently raising a two year old, not to say anything too crazy about the faults on your end, but... at a certain point, "that rebellious age" stops being about the kid going to far and starts being about the parent overimposing boundaries. I'm just saying, in this situation, I think it was Sylvia who's the one who needs to rethink her priorities and not Bub here.
Yeah, she liked it. That's about all I can say.
I don't know what she is, but she's not my problem anymore, kid.
...I almost feel insulted.
...I'd recommend against that, against my better judgement. Honestly, if you're that willing to turn over your entire fortune to a stranger for a good deed, it may genuinely be in better hands with whoever you're giving it to.
...This family is probably best not delving into any further. They have some interesting priorities.
I solved the trouble. But nothing else.
The Goldbobbingtons don't really comment on the Trouble after you finished it. I think this is a line Goldbob was already saying by now.
...These two still seem hung up on the birthday thing. Yeah, that's a big deal for Bub, but...
And, for completeness, Toodles. She doesn't have much more to say. To be fair, she is, at least in part, beholden to the whims of being a mechanical NPC: Remember, you don't have to care about her Gold Ring until now, so you totally could still do that here.
Since we're going down the list, I figured a trip to Keelhaul Key was in order, and lo and behold it looks like this is where the Travelling Sisters Three turned up.
They're going for a swim. Remember, this is a beach, no matter what the diorama says.
Thank you, Pa-Patch.
...Kinda feel like this relationship is coming out of nowhere still, but not complaining too much.
I am almost definitely saying he's at least kinda gay for Bobbery, or at least would be if this game were written years later.
And, of course, he gets special dialogue with the Admiral himself.
I'm sure you're welcome on Cortez's crew, if Bobbery is. Surely they can't run entirely on ghosts and grit. Even if they try.
...I haven't heard about this, but if true, put a vote in for "completely opposed" for me too!
...No, no that's not too extreme a reaction. Why stop at cursing them, though?
I... totally... can't... BELIEVE... it! How's this guy know where we're gonna be all the time? ...And did he SWIM here or something? Please... Please tell me this is a nightmare...
Dupree, too, makes his final appearance here in Keelhaul Key. I guess this is the only chapter they didn't appear in while we were hunting a Crystal Star.
...No. Just... No.
Just one shove and he goes in the water.
Or, hell, have a bonk, Goombella. I'm amazed at your restraint.
Cortez continues to be nothing more than a ferry service.
I really wanted to see the Great Tree, but there are many cads in the way! Won't someone please roust these ne'er-do-wells? I am waiting in Boggly Woods near the Great Tree.
This Trouble is written entirely in old-timey English. No explanation is ever provided, and I don't think I care.
With that said, I am highly curious about the purpose, mechanics and general... everything about this Trouble.
This random Toad is insane enough to go do tourism to a place untouched by human hands, but isn't actually cool enough to make his way past the enemies himself.
Our mechanical job is to go and kill all the enemies in the next room.
That's Doe T., the Toad who asked us for help. He came all this way to see the Great Tree for himself. Now, let's clear out all the enemies here like he asked, OK, Mario?
Admiring his choice of how he talks aside, let's talk about that sidequest.
These guys are jokes.
...Well, if you don't forget you need Spike Shield.
By the way: First Attack counts.
This Trouble is so ludicrously easy to clear that why it is here, in the postgame, and not significantly earlier is anyone's guess. I get delaying it to make it seem less like we're colonising Boggly Woods immediately, but...
The reward somehow isn't worth the trivial effort.
But it is indeed one of the three Troubles we have to do.
Now that he has arrived, he pivots from his fanciful Quixote lines to pontificating about the nature of humanity. Despite, you know, trying to do a tourism in a place that is not welcoming of tourists.
...He thinks he is a lot smarter than he is. I try not to think about the possibility that I am the same.
That's Doe T., the Toad who asked us for help. I'm so glad he finally got to see this place, y'know?
I'm less sure how I feel about him coming here. He's just insane enough I can kinda write him off as a weirdo, but there's the possibility that this coming so late makes it a herald of "tourism is coming", and I absolutely don't want that for Boggly Woods. It's not even that great once you get here. Tourism may be a thriving industry, but it is often harmful to the very places you're elevating. Particularly if the appeal of those places is "humans don't go here often".
These two are still at it. Not even rewritten dialogue conveying the same point. Punio was one of the more dynamic characters who never joined our party, you'd think he'd have something outside his own chapter. Then again, I guess Flavio wasn't any more lucky.
...It suddenly occurs to me that these developers, outside Paper Mario, are famous for purely sequential stories.
After beating Hooktail, this guy actually mistakes you for Luigi. On being corrected, he continues to stand by the assertion that Luigi is particularly cool. And hey, I love Luigi.
It's only a little later on that the Toad specifies why he likes Luigi. I've gotta say, in the platformers, I do wind up preferring Luigi's height even with the cost of his traction. Admittedly, I actually don't get bothered by slippery traction all that much. I'm not sure if that's me not realising how many problems it's causing or me just genuinely dealing with it well.
It may be best for Koops, although Koopie Koo clearly had a preference. Whether this is just a harmless preference or a prelude to actual issues isn't clear, although I would stay on your toes for a while, Koops. Just in case. If there isn't a repeat by the time you've forgotten about it, it's harmless.
Koopley being super generic. I think this might actually be because I'm checking his Koops line and not his default one.
Mario, don't let Koops know, but I have this dream. Are you ready for it? Someday... I want to go on an adventure with Koops! I get the feeling that day's not too far off, somehow. That's two I owe you, Mario!
...I've got tears in my eyes. I think Koops would like that very much.
Koops replacing you as mayor can't come soon enough. The fact you're in the middle of nowhere and Hooktail is no longer a problem is helping your town a lot.
...
You know, I don't consider this often, but real turtles are known for their long lifespans. No wonder Bowser and the Koopas are so durable. Although real turtles aren't famous for living long after being jumped on.
This is a bit of a weird line- well, content-wise, it's weird for multiple reasons, but this kid has a whole arc about this and this... feels like a middle stage. It is, indeed, the ending of the arc, for what I feel are at least obvious reasons.
For reference, since it's not clear from this line alone... he's talking about the next Paper Mario game. What we know as Super Paper Mario, presumably, although whether the product he's talking about matches the product we got is in question, considering there's plenty of time between TTYD and SPM for additional devtime to be made. Interestingly, or perhaps depressingly, this quote actually acutely captures one of Super Paper Mario's biggest flaws- its boring opening chapters. Do you think they knew that would be an issue even back in 2004?
SPM, indeed, shines a spotlight on Luigi that 64 and TTYD do not even try to light. In hindsight, however, I feel like just because Luigi appears in a big way does not necessarily mean this is a game for Luigi's fans. I think this is almost entirely on dissonance between the way we view Luigi's character now as opposed to the naughties, however- Luigi's role in SPM was beloved at the time, and still is among many people who aren't me.
Hey, I gotta say, all I do is play my Nintendo GameCube. Best system ever, am I right? Yeah, I think so, too. Anyway, I saved up for a new game... The sequel to "Paper Mario"! I just got started, but it's a blast so far. A BLAAAST! Try it for yourself and see!
This is the start of the Toad's foray into fourth wall breaking Paper Mario gameplay, where he picks up TTYD.
I've been playing "Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door" like crazy lately... I wasn't sure at first... But that game is AWESOME! I just beat it! Every chapter! Totally cool ending! I loved it. So worth the money! Think there'll be a sequel? If not, I hope they make a Paper Luigi game. Yeah! I bet that'd be awesome, too...
And here he is talking about TTYD, singing its praises. Him going on to shill the sequel on the basis of Luigi's role is set up here, although looking more closely, I don't think him playing SPM in the final dialogue is as obvious as it perhaps should be.
After a certain point, this guy winds up getting new information, too. He, uh... never gets good information. Well, OK, this is actually good advice, he just doesn't understand what the hell it means.
I know stuff, too! Seriously! Like... A stitch in time saves nine! You know, because time gets rips in it and stuff! ...Wait, is that right?
I know stuff, too! Seriously! Like... Ignorance is bliss! You know, bliss! ...Wait, what does ignorance mean?
I know stuff, too! Seriously! Like... Every dog has his day! Once a year, in fact! I think it's called "Dog's Day" or something! ...Right?
"A stitch in time saves nine" is a bit of a complicated one and I had to look it up myself- the grammar of the quote could use some work. "A stitch, in time, saves nine" might convey the thought better: It means that if you don't fix a problem now, the fix you need tomorrow might be worse than the fix today.
The other three phrases, interestingly, feel like people trying to give him advice- namely "you may want to consider other avenues", or just commenting on his general stupidity. He turned it into generic advice, and failed to understand what exactly the advice means to begin with. Wonky may not know what all of his advice means, but he does understand that if you want to act on it, you should probably follow his instructions and see what happens.
...Well, I guess it beats the stalker website you guys were considering earlier. Although real estate is hardly much of an improvement.
The joke's not funny when it's coming from Nintendo itself. Nintendo's the guy who's going to be sending those lawyers, after all...
When they don't have a financial interest in ignoring the problem.
On the plus side, we have solved one of them since this game came out!
...
Cries in other three.
I don't think it's the population that's the problem, though.
...At that point, I think it's a you problem. A kid who would have benefited from all these resources would have been using them. Your kid either has an undiagnosed learning disorder (which, considering everything you put him through, you'd think some screening process would've raised a red flag) or he's just not interested in that level of learning. Have you considered a trade?
An education mama meets her end when she and her son don't see eye to eye on his future. It is his future, after all, not yours.
...This barely makes any more sense in context, so I think I'll leave it without.
He's not going anywhere.
Yes, I'm a novelist, and I've actually just recently finished a new work! It's a heartwarming love story exploring the endless rooms of the heart.
...What? You prefer horror? Figures...
The dialogue you get about his book if you visit earlier. Hm. Interesting concept.
(Also, amazed Mario's into horror. That does not sound like his scene at all, although the fact Luigi is scared of ghosts makes this an... interesting revelation about their household experiences.)
...I'd disagree, but I'm not 100% sure what, exactly, it is I'm disagreeing with.
...Your information is outdated. I was expecting you comment on her having been saved.
Shiny!
And gotcha.
Absolutely worth it every time.
The poor parrot, of course, remains left abandoned. Doopliss is a better person. And he may have genuinely forgot he owned this parrot.
You can't find Doopliss up here. Or the Shadow Sirens... anywhere. I was really hoping to find the latter, see what Beldam had to say for herself. Nope, them and the X-Nauts have nothing but Goombella's word to go on for their redemptions.
This girl has been waiting a long time to finally confess her feeling, and I think it's time we considered following up on this whole comeback thing.
...Unfortunately,
we can't start by talking to Jolene- we've already been entered back in
and just need to go into the locker room for it.
Which means we get to have some conversations with our old friends in the Minor League!
...
They're at least conversations.
Man, ain't nothin' better than fightin' here in the Glitz Pit! Nothin'! Fightin' to climb the ranks just makes me feel ALIVE, know what I'm sayin'? Little stuff don't get me down no more, ain't that the way to live, G-dog?
Gonzales, why BOMB are you spinning your wheels here? Go blow up some fools BOMB! But watch out BOMB! Because I'll be gunning for you BOMB soon!
Grack! Mustache must take care of business. Mustache is only fighter Cleftor ever respect.
Heh heh heh heh heh heh! Take it easy, now. Losing your cool never helps anything.
There's slightly more to pry out of the game. I'm not certain what the context is.
Jolene will substitute for Grubba, even on the terminal. I think they might actually have put more
effort into the Jolene sprite, too: It kinda looks like she's looking
down at us compared to her normal sprite, whereas Grubba was literally
just him pasted onto the screen.
The
Glitz Pit still has its conditions to comply with. This one makes a lot
of sense, considering the whole "Dr. Agon's the only one that's been
fighting in the Glitz Pit since Chapter 3". Although I'm not sure the
game agrees.
- Pay attention: in this battle, I want you to avoid using your jump, all right? The crowd's getting sick of seeing you bounce around like a demented pogo freak. Now get in there and hand out a beating or two!
- Pay attention: in this battle, I want you to avoid using your hammer, all right? The press is ruining me over kids bonking each other with sticks, pretending to be you! Now get in there and let's see some acrobatics!
- Pay attention: in this battle, I want you to avoid using any of your special moves! Don't get me wrong, I love the flashy stuff, but it just takes a little too long. Now get in there and don't go grandstanding, all right?
- Pay attention: in this battle, I want you to avoid using any items! Empty your pockets! People distrust a man who's always digging in his pockets, wouldn't you agree? Now get in there and knock some heads the old-fashioned way, all right?
- Pay attention: in this battle, I want you to avoid switching partners
out! What are you teaching kids about loyalty, always swapping partners
out? Now get in there and stand by your friend!
- Pay attention: in this battle, I want you to keep that ally of yours from attacking! You're the only one I want to see attack out there, OK? Are we clear? Now get in there and show them who's boss, all right?
- Pay attention: in this battle, I want you to NOT fight, OK? Do... not... attack... at all. Your partner's quite popular with this crowd, so throw them a bone, all right? Now get in there and share that spotlight!
- Pay attention: in this battle, I want you to use at least one special move, OK? You need to show my paying customers all that fancy ninja stuff you've been hiding. Now get in there and blow the roof off, all right?
- Pay attention: in this battle, I want you to avoid using any of your Flower Points! The crowd needs traditional, easy-to-follow fighting right now. No frills! Now get in there and show me something, all right?
- Pay attention: in this battle, I want you to wrap it up in five turns or less! I have a very important meeting in just a little bit, and I can't be late! Now get in there and bring this fight home quickly!
- Pay attention: in this battle, I want you to appeal to the crowd at least three times! I want to see these people standing on their seats, screaming their heads off! Now get in there and get them riled up, all right?
- Pay attention: in this battle, I want you not to attack for the first three turns, OK? You have sort of a wild-man reputation, so let's make them beg for it, OK? Now get in there and bring home the bacon, all right?
- Pay attention: in this battle, I want you to let your foe damage you five times, OK? It's awfully boring when a match is too one-sided, wouldn't you agree? Now get in there and kick some behinds, all right?
- Pay attention: in this battle, I want you to win BEFORE you take 20 HP of pain! Close matches are exciting, but hardcore fans want a real blowout once in a while, son. Now get in there and show me some grit, all right?
- Pay attention: in this battle, I want you to win after your HP goes down to 5! How exciting is THAT gonna be, hmm? The crowd will go berserk, I'm telling you! Now get in there and take a beating for me, all right?
In
general, Jolene's justification for the conditions is more
businesslike- with actual reasons provided, whereas Grubba was moreso
leaving us to his whims. I think the actual mechanics haven't been tampered with, but considering I don't fully understand Grubba's conditions, what makes you think I know Jolene's?
This is going to be a disappointing comeback for our fans.
For
the rematches, our title has changed from the "Merciless Executioner"
to the "Superstar Sequel". A more fitting name, and not even because
this is our comeback. We just keep coming back for game after game after
game after cheap cartoon after-
...Hey, do we not get this name with Grubba?
Oh, the custom line for the first battle with the Goomba Bros. has a different title for them, that's why.
...
Whoops.
All the new partners have lines for pre-battle, of course.
Vivian: You're about to have a really terrible experience!
Vivian: Yeah! Let's do it, Mario! No forgiveness! No mercy!
Bobbery: Leave it all to me, old boy! I shan't need help!
Bobbery: I can't imagine this little dustup will dampen our spirits, eh?
Ms. Mowz: You look a bit weak to be fighting us... Mmm hmm hmm!
Ms. Mowz: Here we go, sweetie!
Vivian's are the most uncertain of herself. Bobbery sounds like this is just another day for him.
...Anybody at level 1, maybe. And even, I have my doubts.
Jolene has a new startup line compared to Grubba's. This is before Smash's Brawl, so it's mostly just be different.
...
So yeah. The Glitz Pit is the same thing it was in Chapter 3.
And we're... significantly stronger. Then again, it's not like Koops' Power Shell didn't wipe these guys off the face of the earth.
Vivian: Looks like we overdid it a little bit... Are they OK?
Vivian: That was a piece of cake, huh, Mario?
Bobbery: I suggest you try a bit harder against the likes of us, hm?
Bobbery: How embarrassing for you, hmm?
Ms. Mowz: Well, what did you expect?
Ms. Mowz: It's not so much that you're too weak, but rather that we're just too strong...
And the partner ending lines. Bobbery's, of course, are the coolest, but Ms. Mowz has quite the ego...
They
even keep the bit from the first time about how our first match wasn't
very flashy. They keep saying this, but don't seem to realise that maybe it's the Goomba Bros. that are the problem here?
...Oh
yeah, and despite Jolene having been promoted to Grubba, she's still
doing all her old work. No wonder she's overworked. Anyone know where I
can find her an assistant?
The main reason for the Glitz Pit is the Tattles, and King K's squad is the first reminder of such. If you don't need or want these Tattles, this entire exercise doesn't have much value.
The full list to watch out for, in Tattle Log order, is KP Koopa, KP Paratroopa, Shady Paratroopa, Boomerang Bro, Fire Bro, Red Spike Buzzy, Red Magikoopa, Green Magikoopa, White Magikoopa, Big Bandit, Hyper Bald Cleft, Iron Cleft, Bristle and Rawk Hawk.
If you do not count the Pit of 100 Trials as a place to source Tattle Log information (reasonable, but there are enemies only found there), also make sure to grab Shady Koopa, Dark Koopatrol, Lakitu, Spiny, Dark Craw, Bandit, Pokey, Bob-omb, and Red Chomp. I'd also side-eye Fuzzy, but I think those are still in Shhwonk Fortress.
Look, we're oneshotting them.
Let's just start skimming.
...I think this may just be the worst condition + matchup in the game. It's at least the least fun.
Because they can do this garbage.
Big Boomers. Snorts.
...Huh, Bandy Andy made it over Crash. Wonder how that happened.
The Armoured Harriers are just a normal battle this time around, no set dressing.
Hahaha.
Ultra Rank Dr. Agon walks over them.
Jolene continues to be too busy to micromanage a returning star who's already well aware of the protocols governing the facility, so she trusts him to go about his business at his own pace.
And indeed, we're not dragged out of the minor league now that we're not allowed in it, but once we leave, we will be immediately locked out.
The Major Leaguer's lines. I think they also have a second line like the minor leaguers, but I got a little confused by the text dump. They're not that worth it in the end.
Fortunately, since Paper Mario isn't an RPG where the player regularly gets defence boosts, "take damage five times" is still possible. You have to try at it, but it's possible.
We are a long way from Bristles still posing issues for not being allowed to Earth Tremor. Although this would probably have been an issue for us had we got it the first time.
Now, I don't remember what I did here- possibly, I tried to Run instead of Defend.
Because I threw this otherwise winnable match.
At least this condition was easier. Since I obeyed the condition the first time (that being to not have Dr. Agon attack), I got to rematch Shellshock immediately.
As you command.
These are some pleasant conditions.
Although this guy's doing a lot of damage for a Shrunk enemy. So much for Mini Egg.
Imagine having Stampede oneshot a bunch of enemies with Defence.
Thanks to Mini-Egg, this doesn't hurt so bad, but it's still a little unfortunate.
...I don't think this requires any further clarification.
Anyway, waiting for us at the end of the Glitz Pit for the rematch is Rawk Hawk. Although it does feel like a bit of a pity that it's just him.
We get this as a condition once again, of course.
There's an actual showmanship for the Championship round, unlike the Armoured Harriers being yadda-yadda-yaddaed.
Feel the Rawk!
So then, how's Rawk Hawk feeling about staring down the face of losing the only match he's ever lost before.
Extremely confident. Not even Bowser turning him into a chicken nugget is enough to shake him.
Occupational hazard of being overlevelled and carrying more Atk upgrades for both Mario's Boots and the Partner's Ultra Ranks. Also all the shiny new Badges we found since Chapter 3.
...Look, I know you're keeping up this whole "heel" thing, but do try and keep a lid on it.
...Hey wait, you know what this does do?
Give us the opportunity to walk into the ring.
This may also be one of the funnier "rewards" of doing the Glitz Pit a second time: A rare reference to Mario's roots. "Jumpman", of course, being a reference to the good old days of Donkey Kong, when Mario abused animals and was considered a hero for it.
Goombella: Wow, listen to those cheers! People are totally pumped up for this match, huh? Let's hit that ring!
Koops: Sheesh, listen to the crowd! I'd say everyone's pretty excited for this fight! Let's get up there!
Flurrie: My, what incredible cheers! Fans do love their title matches, don't they? Let's make our entrance!
Vivian: Wow, what a spectacle! I had no idea pro fights were this loud and intense! Let's head up!
Bobbery: Good gravy, such hubbub! These fans are rather rabid for our fight, I should say! Let's have it out!
Ms. Mowz: My, my, my! They love us! I could get used to this sort of adoration... Let's give the crowd what they want, hmm?
I love how Bobbery is quietly one of the more enthusiastic characters for being in the Glitz Pit. Vivian, not so much.
...The "He's back" does feel so much worse if you keep in mind this can't be permanent. Even if you, the player, put the controller down after the comeback, Mario's still gotta go home one day.
Let's see if Rawk Hawk at least brought some muscle to this match.
He did, thankfully, bring back the Rawk.
Goombella: OK, Mario, we're finally fighting this chump again! Let's totally wreck him!
Koops: Well, Mario, here we are again, at last. Don't worry, I'll give it my all!
Flurrie: OK, Mario, my darling... We're back, at long last! It's OUR title!
Vivian: Well, here we go, Mario. A match against the champ! Let's get this over with!
Bobbery: Righty-o, Mario! Fisticuffs with the champion, at last! I shan't disappoint you!
Ms. Mowz: OK, love... This is why we've been fighting... a title match! No mercy!
Flurrie, of all people, getting way too into this.
No need for exposition on plot beats, just good, old-fashioned muscle on muscle.
...
He has less HP than Mario.
Mario's also picked up more than 4 Atk per jump.
(To be clear, Rawk Hawk has not received any mechanical buffs whatsoever, and this was a waste of time for all concerned.)
I figure, if we're going to be humiliating him, might as well go whole hog.
I did half his health debuffing him.
...This must've been his 6 HP strike. A normal blow would've done nothing.
...
Now, I could utterly humilate him...
Or I could let him have another turn.
I was hoping he'd hop on the rafters again, at least, but I'm not giving him that many extra turns.
The real champ is Dr. Agon, baby!
Two Star Points. Rawk Hawk gave a rather meagre payout when we first fought him, and that low internal level is reflected in a low payout here.
Clearly you'll be happy once you're ejected from the Mario world and can go back to fighting people who have you have business picking fights with.
I know it's your job, but you don't have to massage the truth that much.
Was there ever any doubt?
At the very least, having a crowd cheer you on still feels good, even if there was absolutely nothing of mechanical merit to be squeezed out other than this being the only place to source a large number of Tattles.
Please. I was off saving the world: You think I've brought anything less than my A-game to that?
We now get to keep this. Not that it does anything.
Unfortunately, we will need to move on. Because... well, Mario has a life. And also there's other things in the game to go do.
Jolene is happy to keep us on the register. This time, our records won't be deleted like last time.
...
Hey, do you reckon Grubba deleted our records when he's like "Gonzales better disappear soon for my sake"? We were all more focused on the Crystal Star drain machine, for obvious reasons, but...
It is possible to rank down in the Glitz Pit to rematch anybody you want, which is why the game never puts any of the Glitz Pit enemies in the trash can. You want a full Tattle Log, you're going to have to put in a little effort.
Incidentally, the reason Rawk Hawk has a low Level and thus low Star Point payout is presumably because of the rematch feature. At this point, we can totally refight Rawk Hawk as often as we want, with a free heal for everything, including SP, between each bout if we wanted. If Rawk Hawk gave Star Points worth writing home about, this would utterly trivialise the game if you sat down and did it after Chapter 3 (when it first became available).
"And also doesn't have other commitments".
...So is Mush not doing anything for you? I understand if you don't want him in the ring, but I haven't gotten any indication that Mush is anything other than ready to pitch in. Hell, if you're overworking himself, the Mush we've seen is guaranteed to want to pitch in and help.
And that's the last we really need to do here in the Pit.
...Well...
I bet you're wondering what happens if we do this?
Jolene takes things remarkably well. Considering she taught us how to get in here in the first place, I don't think she has a foot to stand on to tell us not to exploit it. As much as she would very much like it.
Getting the Champion rank back is the only way to get free access to Jolene's office outside completing the two Troubles that require checking in on her, and thus the two Star Pieces that could be found here.
She doesn't kick us out, but she does frown quite disapprovingly.
And, of course, there's still plenty of NPCs to heap some adulation on the way out.
You know, winning or losing isn't the point... You guys fight for the fans, that's what really matters... I know my son thinks so.
This line from the dad was really cool.
...OK, that's actually kinda funny, but still. Poor Luigi. Butt of the joke and he isn't even here.
Pineapple.
I mean... yes. I can't exactly say he's wrong. Nor do I really have a snarky comment for this.
...Is that one new? I don't think I recognise it.
It is with great pride that I say these two actually did make it together, in the end. I was getting worried.
Although admittedly, it's not that this guy was that much to write home about. It's less "she can do better" and more "these guys are generic NPCs."
...Well, that made Jolene's life harder. She still needs to sell that guy, remember.
Again, he could've at least mentioned it in person. Him not even getting that much is probably more of a disappointment than him not having a bonus boss. At least the latter could come down to not wanting to make Toad bosses.
As far as we can tell.
Next time: One final opponent to do battle with.
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