Bethany Plays: PM Chapter 7 Part 1: Rudimentary, My Dear Herringway

...Well then. One can only speculate on what that is. Poor Kalmar doesn't have a distinctive silhouette, though.

Welcome to Shiver City, land of ice, snow, snowmen and Bumpties.

Also Canada, apparently. Must be in the Northern Kremisphere, then.

The shop inventory of Shiver City. That's a cheaper Life Shroom, and Shooting Stars are now freely available, even if I'll continue to treat them as rare items. I mean, I am broke.

Well, we have a direction.

I'm Mario, dealing with that business is my day job. I believe the purpose of this conversation is to hint at the minibosses lying in wait before we can reach Starborn Valley, although which ones any individual is talking about varies based on tone.

For example, this guy is telling us that there's a Jr. Troopa battle waiting for us to the east. He's not be telling us to watch out for him, though.

I love the Toads living in Shiver. At any rate, we're staying at the Toad House for a specific purpose.

Every time you stay here, you can find an Iced Potato, a recipe item that is surprisingly important to us. It cooks into the Potato Salad (10 HP) on its own, and is useful for the following recipes:

Fire Flower for Frozen Fries (15 HP).
Strange Leaf for an easier Yummy Meal- this is our first chance to make a Yummy Meal out of something better than Dried Fruit.
Combine the Potato Salad with a Shroom Steak, and you get the only ethical way of making a Deluxe Feast (40 HP/FP). You could've got these sooner with Whacka's Bump and Strange Leaf, but why would you hurt Whacka? The Shroom Steak is now 42 coins to make, with a Shiver Life Shroom and the Dried Shrooms in Dry Dry Outpost. Or even 12, if you use Volt Shroom + Goomnut to make your own Life Shroom.

I think the Iced Potato is the last ingredient to worry about, aside from the Ultra Shrooms and Jammin' Jellies required to make all six of those recipes.

...Always look on the bright side, then.

I think this is about the other miniboss. Most of the people who treat the situation as having stakes are not talking about Jr.

He's the penguin patrol! Guardian of the city! He does an adequate job as an investigator, but I wouldn't count on his skills too much. When trouble arises, I think that Mario is the best man for the job!

Yeah, I wouldn't expect quality work from this penguin.

Sorry, can't skate. I can Spin Dash?

No, seriously, this game doesn't have any ice physics whatsoever. I don't think any Paper Mario does, although it might've made it into the modern games.

These guys are having a lot of fun here.

Would be a shame if...

someone were to break it!

I want key.

Ground pound a second time, and he gets angry enough to take action.

By dragging us away and lecturing us-

Before kicking us out of the map.

That seems to be so they can reload the ice. We won't be breaking it and getting that key until we do something about him. And also we're not exactly making friends.

Sounds about right. Dangit, Bowser.

At least you admit it. Admitting it is the first step to finding it.

Well, we could fish it out of the lake, but...

This penguin is guarding the warehouse. But he lost the Warehouse Key. ...Not the best job of guarding. I guess he figures that he'll just stand there staring and pretend he's doing a good job.

I mean, no one's getting into the Warehouse who shouldn't be!

Of course it's Jr. Troopa's fault. Bet he'll blame us for the delay.

This is the other monster. I think. That monster doesn't live anywhere near Shiver City, although it does make it so they can't go to Starborn Valley, the only real other place around here.

...Also, this sort of dialogue doesn't really appear often in Mario. Mario enemies aren't treated quite as harshly. Dragon Quest does treat them as monsters, even if the monsters are as iconic as Mario's menagerie. Maybe it's because treating Mario enemies as sentient and capable of not-siding-with-Bowser is more common.

This Bumpty, right near the entrance of town (we're done with the east side) is the third and final Degree Card NPC, alongside the Toad in Toad Town and the Dryite in Dry Dry Outpost. As one might expect if one remembers what Cards those two hold, this guy owns a Third-Degree Card, so he's beaten the Master once.

~~His two thoughts aren't connected, by the way.~~

Overalls, long-sleeved shirt, mustache, Mario is probably warm enough. Also Odyssey implies Mario can stand the cold in boxer shorts.

This song is a gameplay clue for a later puzzle. I'm not entirely sure what this song is supposed to sound like, though- the first verse feels like a very high-intensity beat, while the second verse strikes me as more relaxed.

This guy responds to the Toad from earlier, and points out how bad he finds the hot places as strange and unappealing as others find the cold ones.

I can assure you it exists. And it's not as bad as it sounds, but yeah. Probably not fun.

Sadly, no frozen treats in the recipes in this game. At any rate, this penguin lives in the house on the right on the west side.

Is it just me, or does his furniture look staircase-y to you?

Time for another secret for climbing the background objects!

Climb out this window and jump over to the window next door for...

Attack FX E (0 BP)! This one makes Mario's attacks make Yoshi noises (specifically, the two-note squeak noise that plays when Mario lands on Yoshi's back). I love this noise enough that it's what I'll be wearing, not that it'll make much difference on your end.

The shadiest of individuals.

...Sure. Why not. Last thing I needed when I just wanted to get to Starborn Valley.

Star Panel here. You really want to remember to grab this now.

This is the mayor's wife, living in the house at the western-most side of town.

I feel like this line needs to be printed and framed. No reason in particular.

...Well then. That's... awkward.

By the way, he is, technically, an NPC we can talk to in this state, so the game allows us to Tattle him. It's hilarious.

Anyway, does anyone know how to take a Bumpty's pulse?

A note for the detective novelist. And only the name.

Well, that's just excellent timing.

Yeah. He was like that when we got here, we swear!

She really emphasises her words when printing that "penguin murder mystery" line.

She's the wife of Mayor Penguin, who's the mayor of Shiver City. She has a bit of a problem with exaggeration. She loves mystery novels and longs to be a great detective. The way I see it, she's a bit too flighty to be a detective. You, however... I think you'd make a great sleuth, Mario!

As much as I hate to agree with him, we're about to see exactly how much of a detective novel nerd (derogatory) she can be.

And she's found help!

...From the guy who's apparently only decent at his job. This can only end well.

Mayor's wife: "My husband has been murdered!"
Penguin patrol: *Walks over, takes closer look* "You're right!"

It continues to be hilarious how funny scenes can be when the characters demonstrate their comical short-sightedness.

The whole city is, collectively, a big fan of the novels written by Herringway, possibly because he lives here. Their understanding of real life mysteries has been... skewed.

At least he asks pertinent questions and-

I knew I should've framed that earlier line of dialogue.

"It's true! Things don't change unless you're looking at them! This is a Mario game, after all!"

Mario, of course, denies at the first opportunity.

So am I. You lot have been to Toad Town. You know who I am.

~~I really shouldn't have tried to break that ice.~~ I don't think seeing that scene changes how he reacts to you here, but it would fit neatly.

The mayor's wife careening right past her accusation (which, while unreasonable, was a valid conclusion) and outright lying about her role.

She covers herself and suggests something that is actually true.

Mario shakes his head again.

At this point, your partner pipes up in his defence. You may notice I switched to Watt.

Despite being a literal baby, she is the only party member who brings up the lack of any actual evidence we did it. All other party members vouch for us only by our sterling reputation.

Although honourable mentions to Lady Bow, who unleashes this metal-as-hell line to vouch for our innocence.

Goombario: What's your problem? You don't actually think Mario did it, do you?
Kooper: Are you crazy? Do you really think Mario would do something like that!?
Bombette: Don't be ridiculous! Mario didn't do it!
Parakarry: Mario didn't do it. He's obviously innocent!
Sushie: Hey, use your head! Do you really think Mario is capable of such a thing? Think about it.
Spike: What! Are you nuts, man? Mario's not a murderer! That's completely ridiculous!

...OK, I joked about Watt being the only one to actually present a tangible argument, but was it too much for you lot to express personality? Sushie and Spike are the only two that don't feel completely interchangeable. And even then, that's only barely.

We can probably assume he trained for something, even if this means he's never going to be competent in this story.

Good questions.

Do I have to shake my head until my neck falls off?

So then... who did do it.

...I guess I'd be stuck figuring it out myself with or without being accused.

He sends us off with that ominous burden and a relatively onerous restriction. What's stopping the murderer from having left the city? At least that means we won't have to do any fighting. The game likes not soft-locking us.

From talking to these two, all we get is ominous suspicion.

And hysteria. Sorry, there's nothing better to describe this.

I guess that's to be expected. The entire city has been turned against us.

Also, these gossiping penguins will stand here for the time being. They are actually NPCs from elsewhere in the city, I believe.

I can only imagine this sort of exclamation is a trademark of Herringway's work, the way everyone recites it as if they are required to make it appear in this story.

...Tinkaton ~~Wait, that's not helping my case.~~

...Let's just move on before I actually murder a penguin.

At any rate, remember that Star Panel beside this house? The gossiping penguins are standing on top of it. I almost believe this is an intentional way of making them frustrating.

Some penguins are less... well, horrified of us, and are helpful in telling us how to find Herringway.

Although they are, rightfully, skeptical of the idea he might be the culprit. His name was on a piece of paper the Mayor was holding, this is the weakest possible evidence we could have, but it does mean whatever was going on, Herringway might be involved. Or possibly the next victim.

...The dramatics. You penguins need to get out more.

That's going to present an issue.

...You Bumpties need to get out more, for other reasons.

The Third-Degree Card holder does not have unique dialogue for this point of the game.

And yes, that "you don't leave the city" order is enforced.

...You're not being too rude, but this whole situation is such a farce I almost think you're being rude in agreeing with it.

Well, that's a novel idea. Jr. Troopa did it? ...I could almost believe it. And the worst part is, he's waiting in ambush just outside town. Where we can't get him. Because of that one gatekeeper...

...Thanks?

These girls don't have unique lines either. You'd think they'd notice.

Well, "..." to you too.

~~But the suspect for the murder case is right behind you!~~

So anyway, how do we get out of this situation?

Now that the Penguin Patrol is accusing us of a different crime, now is our chance to smash this ice open and do some good in the world.

...I was not expecting it to work that well.

Right, let's fish that out and get moving.

If anyone asks, I did a good deed.

There's nothing for us in the warehouse, but there is a Spring to the roof.

And the warehouse roof slides down over to this house's roof...

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!

...Despite being a mustachioed hero in red clothes famous for teleporting around the world by going down narrow chutes, I don't think "Mario is Santa Claus" jokes are all that common around the series.

Because that's directly underneath your chimney.

All the Bumpties commenting on Herringway's mysterious absence were a clue that this two story house had a second story. This is the only way to access it.

This penguin made a secret room in his house to hide in. What a cool idea! He's a friend of Mayor Penguin. His name is Herringway, and he writes mystery novels. His secret study, where he writes his novels, is on the second floor. I imagine that he has lots of fans in the city, so I can see why he'd need a secret room. I wouldn't mind reading one of his novels someday.

Neither would I. I can only hope it's decent, if the quality of the detective work people inspired by him produce can reflect on it. I'm sure, even if the detective stuff is bad, the character stuff might be engaging.

I have heard of you before arriving in town, but it was a close thing.

No, I am. I'm just accusing you because...

...Mario, why are you accusing Herringway? He's the chief lead, yeah, but...

"If nothing else, it'll be a great time to eat some popcorn. Also Mayor Penguin always told me I should get out of the house more."

I missed it, but Herringway calls out "Engage!" to get the staircase to drop.

Herringway will walk over to the house, and we don't have to worry about escorting him or him escorting us. He'll make it on his own.

To this Bumpty's shock.

Annoyingly, he will enter this door before you and you can't do anything until he's done.

Fortunately, he lets you open this door first, following behind you seamlessly and allowing you into the room.

So yeah. We now have another head in the discussion.

...And it occurred to no one else to investigate this lead?

You are the worst detective ever.

The worst part about this conclusion is that it's implied Mario jumped to this conclusion as well.

The penguin patrol jumps right to accusing Herringway, and Mario's standing there in tacit agreement.

To be fair, there is a good detective formula in using real crimes and investigations as a basis in fictional plots. With that said, many of them also... lack the drama a fictional story requires. Mostly because the murderer is never as cunning as a story's villain requires for the stakes to be real. ~~As funny as watching all the sloppy crooks can be.~~

Herringway, because he writes this drivel, is the only one aware of how stupid a situation he's in.

I apologise profusely for bringing you into it, but I still think it was necessary. We need someone with a functioning brain.

Please. Someone. Send help.

Herringway: "If I did it, this case would be a thousand times less stupid." We joked about it earlier, but Herringway has lots more experience with detective stories. He knows all the tricks.

Not as much of an alibi as he thinks. No one has been observing you doing this writing.

The worst part is, she's not the dumbest person here.

And we're no closer to an answer.

Mayor Penguin, who has spent this entire segment lying on the ground, decides now is the time to start twitching.

And gets up, perfectly fine.

...The undead are Boos in this game. Although "ghost" is probably the best outcome.

The Mayor, who has just woken up from an impromptu nap on the ground, asks why there are five people in this room and why they're all staring at him like he shouldn't be here.

It turns out none of us checked his pulse. Mario and the partner, I can forgive, they might not know how to tell an alive Bumpty from a dead one. The rest of you, though... brush up on your First Aid, please.

Good question. I don't think we know either. Pls help.

...From the sounds of it, Penguin Patrol and the Mayor's wife could've been murderers by inaction if this head injury was any more severe.

And he figures hey, if Herringway is here, might as well hand over the present.

He's talking about his visit to Toad Town back in the opening. If time has been passing in-game, I wonder how long it took him to prepare the present. Although since Herringway is all isolated in his secret room, maybe the Mayor legitimately couldn't deliver it sooner.

Herringway accepts the gift as graciously as possible, considering he just learned his best friend was dead and the chief detective in his own city is a gigantic and incompetent buffoon.

You get out.

Herringway decides, if no one got hurt in the end, that he can accept this situation as being as amusing as it was.

Hopefully it'll be written better than this was.

Don't blame yourself. You weren't the idiot in this situation. Well, maybe you were when you put the present on a high shelf.

Some welcome.

We can't move on with the story until we get through this farce. But at least that's over.

Got it. Kooper, ready your Fire Shell.

The Mayor, because he missed this whole thing, doesn't care about what happened. I wish I could be so lucky.

...Sure, sure. Let's go with that.

The Mayor's wife is not so lucky.

"...Why are you still glaring at me?"

Again, the worst part is she's not wrong. She may have started this mess, but the Penguin Patrol continued it.

Now we get to watch the Bumpties walk back on their accusations. At least these people were just getting news and have no real reason to break down the methodology.

But I'd like to see the universe where all the Bumpties are tearing into Penguin Patrol for this.

And hey, at least we can celebrate a penguin not dying!

~~How hard do I have to try for an apology?~~

And with that all done, these four are free to leave.

No, seriously, they actually tangibly go home. They could've just tied it to a map reload, but no.

Oh no, he let a box fall on his head. How careless.

Oh hey, an actual apology! This one... was the one screaming "Aigh, I'm going to be a murder victim!". Yeah, at least it was one of the ones who actually warranted an apology.

We're no closer to having solved that, but at least we can go check out his ambush site.

There's also some attention given to Herringway's role. We're strangers passing through. Herringway has to live in this town after this. Somehow, I don't think the story is ever going to stop being told, although hopefully Penguin Patrol and the Mayor's wife have a harder time living it down than him.

...Jr. Troopa, I guess, but who else are we talking about? ...Oh yeah, the Travelling sisters.

Moreso she's not diversifying that with alternate takes on the same genres.

And also, he's throwing from a glass house here.

Yeah. Joke. Ha ha ha.

Thanks for the acknowledgement.

This guy was blaming Jr. earlier, so this is the truth and nothing but.

Although he still hasn't ruled out his own suspect. If not killing the Mayor, perhaps he did something.

Or, less likely, he's just a random kid taking a grudge way too far.

Yeah, you deserve to be laughed at for this. If anything, you were more of an alarmist than the Mayor's wife- it was her husband.

Sorry. Someone dropped a key in there.

Herringway is doing just fine, thankfully.

Hopefully just an opening skit. I don't know how far you can carry a whole novel where it turns out the victim was just an idiot who knocked himself out. Although I'm sure it would definitely be funny once.

Hopefully it's better than the cash grabs Mario's face has been in.

And... keep the key safe.

...You do you, Gollum.

This line is... on the weirder side.

I'm still not entirely clear whether he's talking about Jr. Troopa or the other guy. I think it all applies to the one in the back, although the use of "strange screaming" feels like it's Jr.