PM Chapter 2 Part 2: Dry, Dry Wit

Welcome to Dry Dry Outpost! A desert town filled with Mousers and tagelmust-wearing Toads. Mousers are enemies from Yoshi's Island, and they share similar (though not identical) appearances to Bandits. The Toads, meanwhile, are considered "Dryites", although I'm not sure if this means they're a different race or just a demonym- we don't exactly call vanilla Toads "Mushroomians".

Moustafa will be the main person of interest of this Town Story. When we find him, anyway.

The Dryite communicates the same information in song. More power to him.

This Dryite is kinda like a mini-Russ T. for secrets in Dry Dry Desert.

Hey! Guess what! Hey! Somewhere in the desert, there's a stone cactus. If you move 3 south and 2 west from there, you'll find something special hidden. I'm not sure how to find it exactly, though. You should go there, huh? Yeah!

The stone cactus is located in D4, the exact centre of the desert. Three south and two west puts us... G2, so that's the Attack FX C Badge.

Hey! Wanna hear something else? I know lots of other stuff! Useful stuff! Hey! If you get caught in a desert whirlwind, it'll blow you away and you'll get lost. Bandits are out there, too! They appear all of a sudden running really fast, and they steal people's coins! There are many tales. You'd better pay attention to them, too, because the desert is such an unforgiving place.

...OK, not really clues. I'd expect him to mention the Tweesters are reliable.

If you go south just after you leave town, you'll find an oasis. It's amazing... A paradise! I go there sometimes. If you want to take a rest, it's the best place to go.

The oasis is a key landmark to point out, yes, both for the Super Block and the Lemons and Limes. He also mentions the Heart Block, too.

Hey! Know what I heard? There are these three trees growing in a triangle somewhere in the desert. The rumour is that if you jump in the center of the triangle, you'll find something good. Only... I don't know where the three trees are... I mean, the desert is huge! I don't know everything...

More's the pity. These trees are located on tile C5, and the treasure he's talking about is a Badge. There are three Badges in the desert, and I think they hinted at all three pretty decently, all things considered.

There's always someone better, isn't there? This Dryite is the second NPC you can brag to about beating the Dojo.

Well then, why don't you go and fight Bowser's minions in the desert?

When you walk up to the shop, you'll notice the Mouser running it dart quickly away.

Just temporarily, he'll be back.

...You mean there's a red tree and all it gives me is a coin?

...And you haven't heard of the local fairy tale?

This guy in the back is shy, and I don't think he ever says a word?

This guy tells us a somewhat valuable hint. Somewhere in this town is someone who will give us a clue to getting to Dry Dry Ruins.

The reason the shy Dryite piped up is to help us, not that he communicates directly with us.

I dunno, you'd like them to be a little low-key. But yeah, it wouldn't be very convenient if he had to translate to everybody who came asking.

Over in this house, we can find a musically-inclined Toad, as opposed to a Dryite.

He's a very good musician, but he's not very good with words.

Since the words are capitalised, I'm sure we'll be able to figure something out. As a matter of fact, this NPC will help us with Pop Diva's issues, but I'm not sure if you can get him to lend a hand now or if it must be after the Chapter. I see no reason why he can't do it now.

Here's Kolorado's friend.

Somehow, I doubt Kolorado is getting that information he wanted.

Ooh, backstory! This sort of thing is pretty rare even here in Paper Mario- you'll see a lot of it in Super Paper Mario, but the Mario IP likes to steer clear of it as a question of not overwhelming the player with too much lore. Even the most story-heavy games in the series are very much about the here and now, with the origins of all these ancient ruins being left mysterious.

...I'm not 100% sure I want to say Mousta was the side in the right in this conflict.

But considering this town was founded by his side, I'll keep my mouth shut.

The Toad House is run by an ordinary Toad.

If this is the attitude of the locals, no wonder the archaeologist has given up. I'm not sure why he hasn't gone back to Kolorado and reported that, though. Other than the fact I doubt he'd take it as his cue to move on.

...I think you've overcomplicated the question slightly. I'm going to assume the boss of the robbers is King Mousta's son, to make this simple, but since Mousta is still alive at this point in the timeline, there doesn't seem to be any point to making Mousta and the robber boss different characters. There's a reason Mario normally keeps his nose clean of this sort of thing.

It could be anyone! It's probably a Mouser.

Behind the crates next to the Toad House is the home of the wizard Merlee. I think this is supposed to be a secret, but I don't think the characters who clue you in that "there's a Merlon-clan wizard in the desert" tell you how to find her, you're just expected to stumble into her.

This NPC does a partial, but not complete, tutorial on Merlee's power. He even cautions you about the downsides.

Merlee, as a character, speaks entirely in rhyme. Merlee is promoted to plot-important in Super Paper Mario, so I tend to assume the vocal tic was invented for that game, but no, all Merlees in the series do the same thing.

Merlee asks if we're willing to have a spell cast upon us.

All of these spells have the same effects, the more expensive ones have more uses. I don't know the numbers for sure, but I think the Special Course is worth 20 casts. I wouldn't recommend cheaper options even if they are better value, not coming back here is worth the cost. Merlee has the chance to bestow one of four bonus effects:

• Your attack will do +3 damage (if it's a Jump or other multi-hit move, per-hit). Only Mario can proc it, and it procs after you have confirmed your attack.
• You will take 3 less damage from all attacks you take on the enemy's turn.
• You will get x2 Star Points from the battle.
• You will get an increased Coin payout from the battle.

These effects randomly trigger, and honestly, it may be more trouble than it's worth. Sure, in the right situation, those are some powerful effects. In the wrong situation... they're never really harmless, but...

Let's take one anyway, since I'm exceedingly wealthy.

Merlee summons a deck of cards, and then rapidly shuffles them.

Pick a card, any card!

I swear that looks better in motion.

With any luck!

She's a wizard, Merlee. She casts spells. If you let her cast a spell on you, it may affect you in battle. She's one of the pair of twins. The other one is Merluvlee, from Shooting Star Summit. When I look at a woman as beautiful as this, it makes me feel all strange! ♥

Down, boy. Merluvlee and Merlee are sisters, though. I think they even use the same design.

He's facing the camera side-on, but this is where our friend the shop owner has gone darting off to. He darts right back to his shop after talking to this guy. So who's the shady guy?

This is Sheek. You'd think the guy could shake the dust from his clothes! If I didn't know he was an information trader, I'd say we should steer clear of him. Still, he's our best source for gossip... As adventurers, we have to deal with all kinds!

Hm, a masked character named Sheek in a popular N64 game? Where have I heard that before? Eh, it's probably just a reference to sheikhs, the elders of Arab communities. That is, if this guy is an elder or otherwise village headman.

Sheek is our information trader, and he's not working for free. He'll ask us not for coin, but for inventory item.

Well, I've got one of these I don't really need...

And then he asks for a second. We, uh, don't have bottomless pockets...

Here, have one of these.

This applies specifically to Lemons, by the way. Sheek, in general, is one of the most superfluous characters to repeat playthroughs, since his information is not required to come from his snout in order to be acted upon. If you know what Sheek has to say, you don't even need to talk to him.

With that said, what does he have to say? Ordinarily, you would have to give him a new inventory item for each new information piece, but I have save states.

Dry Dry Desert is a vast and everlasting sea of sand. Under this sea, many secrets lie buried. More secrets than there are Stars in the sky. The legend of Dry Dry Ruins is one of these secrets. Only Mr. Moustafa knows where the legend rests.

This part, though, is true. To get to Dry Dry Ruins, we must enlist the assistance of Moustafa.

You must see Mr. Moustafa to find the resting place of Dry Dry Ruins. Mr. Moustafa is a descendant of the great robbers who built Dry Dry Outpost. He is somewhere in the town, yes... but exactly where, only his close followers know. I could tell his secret, but only to the nicest of nice guys, yes.

To find Moustafa, you must perform a secret action. It is possible to perform this action without seeing Sheek if you know what it is.

My favourite food starts with an L and ends with an N. It's a yellow fruit... so sour. Such a nice fragrance... Its tree grows only in the desert oasis outside town. If you were to go to the oasis and get one for me, I might believe you're a true nice guy. For, of course, only the nicest of nice guys can meet Moustafa.

You can only get the piece of information "How to meet Moustafa" if you give Sheek a Lemon. This is the game telling you as much. Ironically, experienced players who can get to the oasis easily are also the players who need not bother to begin with.

To find Mr. Moustafa, go to the shop in this town. First buy a Dried Shroom. Then buy a Dusty Hammer. You must buy them in the correct order, yes? Remember, Dried Shroom first and then Dusty Hammer. This is a secret sign known to those loyal to Moustafa. If you buy these things in the correct order, the owner of the shop will let you see Mr. Moustafa. Remember, you must not buy them in the incorrect order!

I wonder how many players happened upon the secret of Moustafa by just happening to purchase these items in this order while stocking up on disposable inventory items to pay Sheek. Surely at least one person has to have tried it.

If you give Sheek the Lemon, he'll be happier to see you succeed.

Anyway, now that we've got him away from Sheek, the Mouser goes back to running his shop. You do have to get the Mouser back into the shop to input the combination.

The wares of the Dry Dry Outpost shop. Honestly, this is kind of terrible, although that is the cheapest Mushroom we've seen so far. The Dusty Hammer, incidentally, can be thrown at an enemy to do 1 HP of damage, obeying the same rules as Hammer Throw. It is kinda directly outclassed by the Thunder Bolt right next to it.

These doesn't seem to help me in any meaningful way (they'll get me out of a normal encounter, but I need this help less), and I really need to make room for a lot of junk inventory items.

My memory's a little foggy, the combination was something like this, right?

Well, whatever it is, I did something.

In all seriousness, this has nothing to do with anything we're doing right now. This is, however, a required item in the Koopa Koot favour sequence. We'll be turning it in much later, but similarly to Moustafa's code, you can input it right away if you know what it is.

Right, getting those out of my inventory and trying again.

That sounds a little more correct.

Well, in with Sheek, but who needs to tell him that?

He just goes right into this no matter what. TTYD has a similar puzzle, but it adds an extra step to make it a little less likely some stranger can just luck his way into this. Not that much less likely, though.

So then, time to finally meet our man.

...That was it? You do need to input this code to see Moustafa, but still...

Oh hey, Chuck Quizmo! If I see him, I'm going to grab him, but I'll save his questions for later.

...Huh, where did Sheek go?

Well, now we can get up, at least.

Another letter up here, too.

Huh. Sheek again. (Goombario fell off the houses somewhere, so he's going to be spending this conversation on the ground.)

They have a suitable dramatic music cue for the big reveal.

I'm not sure if his name being Sheek is just a reference to the sheikhs or actually supposed to make you think of Sheik from Ocarina of Time, but somehow I don't think anyone who knows about Sheik is fooled for a moment.

This whole 'secret test of character' thing works a lot better when you can't just luck into the code.

How did you get here? Who told you how to find this place?
Dramatic reveal
...Yes, Moustafa is my name. When I'm out and about in Dry Dry Outpost, I use the name Sheek. You look nice enough. I'm a good judge of character. I've been watching you ever since you came to town. I still can't believe you found me without being told. I think you must have extremely good luck, yes?

The dialogue if you didn't hear the code from Sheek. To be honest, it's not like he's using more sound judgement on Mario's character if we did give him the Lemon.

Moustafa showing off that keen spy network he's got in this place. And also that he doesn't know Mario by reputation. I'm not 100% sure it would've helped either way.

He is pleased enough with us that he'll tell us how to get to the ruins. He'll do this if you luck into the code, too, which is nice for the purpose of "streamlining the gameplay" that lucking into the code allows, but does kinda make him look like he doesn't care that much about his secret.

Later on, Moustafa reveals he's not aware Bowser has already placed minions in the ruins. This highlights the fact that Moustafa is only sharing the secret with us out of the goodness of his heart. I wonder what the story potential could have been if Moustafa knew the ruins were compromised: he'd be testing Mario to make sure he could a) chase the raiders out and b) keep the ruins as he "found them" afterwards. Mild spoilers, we're going to be flouting b).

Mario does seem to keep this promise. Kolorado will never find the ruins.

We need this to get to the ruins. Hard required.

It can also be used as a radar to get you into the ruins. Which is good, because it's on a fairly arbirtrary square.

Even if you do know which square ahead of time, the Pulse Stone is the key to make it appear.

This joke makes me fairly sure that they do intend the name "Sheek" to make you think of Ocarina of Time. This sequence of notes is one of Zelda's iconic "you solved the puzzle!" chimes, even if Goombario isn't actually copying the sound, just saying the words.

Da Da Da Duuum! Sheek reveals his true self! ...I guess that means he's the boss everyone talks about. Oh... I was expecting Moustafa to look a lot cooler.

The travelling Nomadimouse mentioned in the letter lives out here, in D5. You'll bump into him if you stay on the path, he's not somewhere completely arbitrary.

He also points us in the direction of the oasis.

Eh, not any more than any other part of the desert. There's one map on the top row that has like 8 Pokeys. Good place to find Dried Fruit, though.

It's time for us to deliver our first letter! As mentioned, all you need to do is talk to the recipient with Parakarry as your partner.

He has this spiel for each letter you delivered.

And this line at the end. I usually appreciate his earnestness, but it does kinda come off a little differently when you realise Parakarry's job is so hard is because he keeps dropping his mail.

Well, I guess that makes sense why the letter was up there. Makes me wonder what this guy did to earn Moustafa's attention. Something's telling me this guy doesn't know either.

He never seems to move from this spot, so I'm not sure what his plan for heatstroke is. Maybe he's already too far gone.

All letters give Star Pieces. Missed this shot, though.

The Pulse Stone is active. Very slow pings, though.

Mario... I'm so tired... If we find a shady tree, let's take a rest for a while...

C5, the square north of Nomadimouse, has a Badge, as promised. Runaway Pay (2 BP) is a little confusingly worded, but that seems to be a product of the English language, mainly. While wearing this Badge, if you attempt to run away from battle after having beat some enemies and earned their Star Points, you get to keep them. You cannot level up this way, and in general you're... rarely going to be in the situation where it's useful anyway?

I feel dazed... So thirsty... The cacti seem to be moving...

Huh, made it all the way to B1. Thunder Rages are good to find, even if we can buy them.

...Shows what you know, Goombario. I haven't hit this block before, though.

It's hot. The desert is hot. I can't imagine that people would actually choose to live in a place like this. Don't they get hot? I guess some like it hot...

If you're wondering, we're on C1, directly north of Kolorado's camp.

So if I do hit it, I get an item block to appear.

Excuse me, Bandits, I was demonstrating something.

That is a perfect outcome, though. Merlee has taken a rewarding fight and doubled its prize!

In my experience, this is probably the best Merlee spell we'll get. She can double Star Points on boss fights, and those are the real prizes, but you either get this, extra Defence on a brutal turn, or extra Atk on a boss.

Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, one bash gets you a Mushroom.

10 bashes gets you the next item.

A Super Shroom. Russ T. suggested there was something else we could do here.

Hit the block a whole 100 times to get a third block to spawn with an Ultra Shroom.

Hit the block a further... oh, some ridiculous number with a lot of zeroes, and you'll underflow the game's ability to keep track of how many times you've hit the block, crashing the game because you've got too many blocks on screen. Since that takes about five years, I think we'll skip that.

Ah, yes! Some more sand and some more cacti! How do you stand such a boring landscape? Look, when I signed on for this adventure, I was under the impression that there would be no boredom involved.

Look, I'm sorry there's been... uh, three screens of no activity. A6 is the screen I was thinking of earlier- there are eight Pokeys here, and this is a good place to go to grind Dried Fruits- you know, once you're a high enough level to Spin Attack Pokeys. Don't worry, killing an enemy on the field still gets you item drops.

Level up! More BP seems to be in order.

Also a Fire Flower behind this cactus, not that Fire Flowers are going to be too much use going forward. Most enemies just have more than 3 HP now.

No, seriously, look at all those Pokeys. I think I'm too low level to Spin Attack them right now, though.

We're going to get lost... This desert seems endless.

The Pulse Stone, obviously, is used on the suspiciously Pulse Stone-shaped indent on a rock in the exact centre of this particular tile. Now, here's the thing: You'd think that, for an impressive appearance, Dry Dry Ruins would be equidistant from Mt. Rugged and the Outpost, standing on tile A4, right?

Nope. This is A3. Most people approach in such a way that they quickly realise they need to keep going left- especially since they have the Pulse Stone guiding them- but it still tends to settle down as A4 in their minds.

Not technically an excavation, but we're moving a lot of sand.

The stone Chain Chomp actually spin into place as the ruins move up.

Kolorado and the archaeologists start to panic. At no point do they consider sending someone to investigate.

The Dryites seem a little shaken, too. They probably suspect what just happened, but it's still unexpected.

Moustafa simply bows his head. Don't worry, we'll get your legacy back.

Dry Dry Ruins is open.

Interesting note, but this is the only time this map is in night-time- there's also no music playing until you enter the ruins. Paper Mario doesn't have a day/night cycle of any kind, so once the drama is over, this becomes just an ordinary square of the desert that happens to have the Ruins on it.

Healing up first.

Mood ruined.

The animated series and so forth liked having Koopa knockoffs of historical figures to make episodes out of. This guy is not, in fact, supposed to be in any way the Paper Mario equivalent of the pharaoh Tutankhamen, but he does want you to think he is. All the more reason not to, in my book.

He'll speak up every now and then and threaten horrible doomy doom upon us if we do not make ourselves begone. He will fail to enforce this suggestion. We will fail to take him up on it.

This is a Pokey Mummy. Pokey Mummies are Pokeys that dried out and became mummies then went to live in the ruins. Max HP: 4, Attack Power: 2, Defense Power: 0. Careful! They have spikes on their heads! Trust me- it'll hurt if you jump on 'em. The mummification also made 'em poisonous. If you get poisoned when they attack you, you'll take damage for a while. What do you say we beat 'em before they can poison us?

Pokey Mummies (Lv. 10) are identical to Pokeys in every way except their newfound ability to poison us. Pokey Mummies first appeared in Paper Mario- most recolours will be new to the RPGs, the platformers have little need of enemies that are exactly identical to old ones but for a different colour and a new attack pattern. The only resemblance to mummies these guys have is the fact they come out of sarcophagi in ambush- New Super Mario Bros. would later introduce a Pokey that is at least wrapped in bandages.

Thanks for the hand, I guess? Kooper still had his turn.

Spike Shield (2 BP) allows Mario to treat spiked enemies as if they didn't exist. Not just top spikes, but there's a single enemy later that has a "side spike" that prevents Mario's Hammer working this also covers. It only works on Mario, though- Goombario and Parakarry are just as helpless against Pokeys as they always have been.

Two exits to this room. Top one's locked.

And the bottom one only has a key. Also a door we can't reach.

All the top door has is a button. Not even a door this time.

Fortunately, the switch solves both problems at the same time. Don't worry, there are never any items at the bottom of a sand pit after you do the pouring. If there are, you have to pick them up before the pour happens because of the way the dungeon is set up: like that key.

Despite the fact the sand can slide through this hole, we can't. We have to take the long way around.

Through the door.

Mario has gone on long enough that it does have actual mummies now: they got added to Luigi's Mansion Dark Moon.

Unlike last time, we can't get this key. Looks like some sand is leaking in from the roof, though.

This is a Buzzy Beetle. Buzzy Beetles are cute- but mean. Max HP: 3, Attack Power: 2, Defense Power: 2. Fire attacks don't work very well against these hardheads. If you can flip 'em, though, their defense power falls to 0. Keep flipping 'em, Mario! I heard that they used to flourish all over the place, but now they're only found in dark, shadowy places.

Buzzy Beetle (Lv. 10) first appeared in Super Mario Bros, and continues on in the 2D adventures regularly. Surprisingly, I think it hasn't appeared in any of the 3D adventures- then again, those don't use the Koopa Troopas regularly, and Buzzy Beetles are basically underground Troopas. By "flourish all over the place", I think Goombario might be thinking of the New Game Plus of Super Mario Bros- all Goombas turned into Buzzies there. Usually, though, Buzzies like to stick to the underground levels.

Buzzy Beetles can flip over if you jump on them, like Koopa Troopas, but like Chan, they will right themselves on the next turn. This makes them particularly awkward to deal with, especially in groups (not even necessarily groups of Buzzies). Upgrading Goombario is an exercise in beating this guy in particular: Goombario will deal 2 damage when the Buzzy is righted and flip them in the bargain, as opposed to everyone else managing 1 and only Mario and Parakarry flipping.

Mixing and matching partner abilities is what gives Mario his exploratory streak, but it's a little awkward in practice. I wonder how awkward it would be to have a faster partner switch key- the one we already have is plenty fast enough, though.

This is where we get the sand to get the second Ruin's Key.

Also there's a Star Piece underneath the sands here.

Pick up the key, and we can move on.

These stairs are new.

There's a button you can press to make it point the other direction. We'll get a few of these.

It's amazing that these ruins still have moving parts. Haven't they been buried here for ages and ages? And yet, when we push switches, stuff moves... Amazing craftsmanship. You've gotta applaud the designers.

...Somehow, I get the impression we're going to be doing something about these today.

Get to the end of this hallway and hit a block, and three Pokey Mummies come out to ambush you, locking you in the room.

This is a Swooper, a ghost bat. Swoopers got their name because they swoop down out of the shadows. Max HP: 4, Attack Power: 2, Defense Power: 0. Even Jump attacks can't reach 'em when they're hanging on the ceiling, but earth tremors will knock 'em loose. Parakarry can also knock 'em loose with one of his moves. You can attack 'em however you choose once they're hovering in the air.

Swooper (Lv. 10) are the bats of the Mario world, so named because in their original appearance in Super Mario World, they would swoop down to attack Mario. The canonical design of Swooper uses a blue body and purple under-wings, but this design wasn't yet codified. They were green with red wings in Mario World and wholly purple in Mario 64, hence the choice to pick purple here. Less understandable is the fact that Sticker Star and Colour Splash, while redesigning most Paper enemies into their classic designs, decided to let the Swoopers stay purple.

As mentioned, Swooper is the first enemy we have seen that sits on the ceiling. Ceiling enemies are immune to Mario's Jump, and must be attacked through alternate means. Parakarry is the way the game expects you to do so (even Sky Dive works, somehow), although it can also be done with Quake Hammer. Any earthquake-type attack that "only works on the ground" will knock things off the ceiling. If an enemy is knocked off the ceiling, it will tend to stick to the ground or flying, depending on what it is- Swoopers become flying enemies.

This is gonna be well-timed!

Tink! Swoopers try and donk you- some Swoopers in Paper Mario try to bite you, like Fuzzies.

Off the ceiling with you!

...That could be a bit more tricky.

And there's a hit from Poison.

At the end of the enemy turn, if Mario is Poisoned, he'll take one point of damage. Most RPGs manage to have poison be pretty ineffective, and while Paper Mario doesn't quite impress, 1 damage is still one damage, and you don't have a lot of HP to work with.

Fortunately, Refresh is able to cure it. Something about Tasty Tonics?

Let's just grab our key and move on.

...Huh, weird drawing on the walls. I feel like this is supposed to be a puzzle solution, but I have no idea what puzzle would even accept this input.

Anyway, let's start at the top and work our way down.

Apparently, I found the jackpot. There's even a treasure chest on the wall.

Yeah... yeah. I think I'll take my chances.

That's a big chest, blocked by our old friend Stone Block.

This room is home to the puzzle involving these stairs. There are two switches, green and red. The green switch turns both green stairs, the red switch turns the red stairs.

Look at these stairways! How do they make 'em revolve? Whoever built this place must have been brilliant.

The solution to the puzzle is to push the middle green switch, turning the stairs so you can reach this top green switch, and press it to reset the staircases... with you on top.

That's the only way to reach this red switch and turn these stairs so you can get a path to the top.

Then you can just walk up, I accidentally hit this button.

You can walk along this bit, and there's a secret if you do-

...Missed the ledge. It's easiest to just walk off the north lip rather than trying to jump onto the west one. We'll have to loop back around for that in a second.

We have the Super Hammer, an upgrade to Mario's Hammer! In battle, Mario's Hammer attack now does 4 damage with the Action Command, and Hammer attacks like D-Down Pound observe this. Crucuially, though, not Quake Hammer. Quake Hammer will continue to do 2 damage, and this is the point where Quake Hammer stops roundly outclassing our other offensive options and turning more into a utility attack.

...I don't think we ever get around to returning the vanilla Hammer to Goompa.

The Super Hammer is also acting as our Dungeon Item. There's only one Stone Block that we could've seen that we need to visit, and a second for optional content. I'm not sure how much stuff Bombette opened that we needed, admittedly, but there were a lot more busted walls to blow up.

And we are out of here.

Anyway, that secret. There doesn't seem to be anything here on this wall...

Pass-through wall!

Unfortunately, the reward was not worth it. Slow Go (0 BP) will force us to walk at walking speed, and disable the Spin Dash. Incredibly useful if you want to sneak past an enemy that hasn't noticed you (especially if you're playing on a controller that doesn't accept analogue input), but absolutely useless in all other contexts.

This is a fight.

At least Quake Hammer flips everything. Also proof that we don't get 4 HP Quake Hammer. That would be broken.

Buzzy Beetles only have two Defence. Enough to put a dent in any plan that is not flipping them over or using your Upgraded partner, but not immune to the Super Hammer if you need it.

Just because you keep saying that doesn't make it true.

...Now this is a room.

We had to smash a Super Hammer block to get this button. We do need to press the button to get to this Key.

Last one. Now to get out of here.

Annoyingly, we have to use this hallway. This is also a route in, but I prefer the jump-off strat. It means less backtracking overall.

The Buzzy Beetles in this hallway demonstrate a skill they learned in Super Mario Bros. 3: They can cling onto the ceiling and drop down upon you. Unlike Swoopers, though, they have no way to get back up.

If you knock a Buzzy Beetle off the ceiling, it actually lands with its head pointed a different direction. This is purely cosmetic: When it gets back up, it faces the correct direction at no additional cost.

There's also a cool map of the Dry Dry Ruins available on this wall. The purple dot indicates the Super Hammer, the green dots represent key items we require to get to Tutankoopa's lair- actually, that doesn't seem to be marked. If you look very closely, you can see the Slow Go chamber west of the Super Hammer.

You might notice there's a green dot back nearer the starting area I didn't pick up. I forgot about it until I checked this map. Whoops. I didn't even check that room, admittedly.

Thank you, Merlee.

It was dizzy anyway, so it didn't even right itself.

There is a second Super Block here. I think it is impossible not to find it while exploring. At this point, the only major things going on are some semi-mid-bosses and Tutankoopa himself, so if you haven't upgraded Goombario or Parakarry yet, you should absolutely pick one of them now.

I thought Shell Shot might be useful. Strictly speaking, it is +2 damage on Headbonk.

Behind the bombable wall is this room, containing a new enemy under a Stone Block. It will attack immediately, posing no opportunity for First Strikes.

This is a Stone Chomp, who guards the treasure in this room. He's made of stone. Duh! Max HP: 4, Attack Power: 3, Defense Power: 1. His jaws can supposedly crush a Coconut. I don't know about you, but I don't want to become a snack.

Coconut is capitalised because we'll get them as inventory items later. Stone Chomp (Lv. 14) is an enemy unique to Paper Mario, as a derivative of Chain Chomp. Chain Chomps aren't connected to anything in this game, not that this is relevant to anything. What is relevant is that, despite being based on Chain Chomp, it's only got 1 Def. A good, solid hit is all you need.

They hurt like hell, though.

That should lend a hand.

Only 1 Def? Headbonk can contribute! We've come some way since being scared of a point of Defence.

Diamond Stone! Three of these are required to find Tutankoopa.

This is the wall we could've used to find the Ruin Key if we didn't jump down. Fortunately, it's marked as breakable on the reverse side. A few walls you can find from both sides lack this trait.

The Ruin Key opens this door.

Push the button to send the sand down, and we can also see the Diamond Stone marked on the wall.

Back in the last room, there was a similar pattern of three Chomp statues. But we've only got the one rock. The other two, of course, are back where the green dots were on that map. Whatever dev put that map there was so helpful.

Huh. No Stone Chomp guarding this one.

Oh, that's just mean! At least have the guy be there beforehand.

Anyway, going and backtracking, here's the thing we did see. I feel dirty taking this, since Moustafa was so generous letting us in here in the first place, but it's necessary for 100%...

The third stone up here, which is presumably meant to be the first one, has a Stone Chomp jump out of the wall painting and start running around freely.

Completely ignorable, but you do need to kill it to leave the room.

I love these shenanigans.

Even got me a one-round, too.

That's the last stone placed.

Once you have the line made, there's a dramatic scene complete with earthquake. Mario runs in circles, doing the same crazed arm waving animation as he did in the prologue.

Your partner kinda keeps following you, moving a few steps at a time, but shows no reaction to the situation. Kinda makes Mario feel like he's over-reacting.

A staircase below!

And a full heal!

I was hoping you'd give up on the warnings before now.

Badge setup. Hammer Throw is because this boss will be off the ground, and Hammers probably do more than Jumps. Maybe. Hammer Throw vs Power Jump is a bit closer a call.

Time to meet the loser who's been taunting us all dungeon.

It appears to be a nemes.

It flies up to this ledge...

And its wearer is summoned!

Oh, you gave some very scary warnings? Sorry, I must've missed them.

Yeah, if he was a reanimated ruler of Ancient Dry Dry, he wouldn't know or care about King Bowser.

Give it up, man. It's not working.

Tutankoopa's theme, Chomp Attack. I'm not really sure I'd describe it as Egyptian (I imagine they were going for "wants really hard to be Egyptian but isn't), but it is kinda cool.

This is Tutankoopa. He's one of Bowser's followers and he's been assigned to guard one of the Star Spirits. I've heard that he has sort of a pharaoh complex. Max HP: 30, Attack Power: 3, Defense Power: 0. He attacks by throwing shells from that high perch. Try to dodge when he uses magic: its attack power is 2 and it'll sting for sure. And he also summons Chomps, his loyal subjects. Those Chomps have some serious attack power. Think hard about who to attack first, Tutankoopa or Chomp.

Tutankoopa (Lv. 55) follows in Koopa Bros. footsteps of being not a particularly skilled minion of Bowser's, but a complete dork that Bowser empowered to fulfill his wishes of being the master of an ancient tomb. Funnily enough, an unrelated Koopa in pharaoh garb would later appear as a boss in Mario Pinball Land- one of the few games that uses Paper Mario stuff to begin with (it has Koopatrols).

Koopa Tut has four attacks: He can chuck one of his Buzzy Beetle shells at you for 3 damage, he can cast a magic spell for 2 damage on Mario and his partner, and he can summon a Chomp ally. His fourth attack? The magic spell backfires and hits him for 2 damage. Also, note that we can see the Buzzy Beetle shells on his platform. Yes, they are finite.

Shrink Stomp seemed like a good idea. It's the only status ailment that has a greater than even chance of working, at 60%, but it does apply for -1 turns.

It does manage to make him look even more pathetic than he already is.

Summoning Chomp does come at the expense of his own turn. The downside being, of course, that now we are fighting a Chain Chomp.

They even have a dramatic camera zoom-in on Chomp as he enters.

It's a Chomp. You've heard about Chomps before, I'm sure. Max HP: 4, Attack Power: 3, Defense Power: 3. They're made of such hard stuff that most of your attacks won't even faze them. I heard a rumor that the Chomps are a little peeved at Tutankoopa because he works them so hard.

Chomp (Lv. 14) first appeared in Super Mario Bros. 3, and appears more irregularly across the series despite being one of its iconic enemies. The fact that they're tethered to one spot makes them naturally inconvenient enemies to build levels around. I assume this guy is "Chomp" and not "Chain Chomp" because, despite having a chain, it is not tethered in place. It will sit around obeying the turn-based system, though.

A Thunder Rage deals with Chompy. I don't have more where that came from, though, and Tutankoopa can bring backup.

...Eh, not really wowing me. Easier Action Command than Power Jump, at least?

Goombario's doing 4 damage for 0 FP, compared to Parakarry's 6 for 3. Plus, I don't need to waste a turn with the whole Tattle situation.

The most impressive part is that he is, in fact, capable of sorcery and isn't just a Koopa Troopa in a nemes.

"I summon, magical Chomp head!"

It's one of those painted ones from Yoshi's Island.

I would like to express my amazement that I caught screenshots of all of the personality in that attack while still managing to time my Guard inputs correctly.

Well, that is troubling.

Chompy is a much more fearsome foe than Tutankoopa himself.

All right, 3 HP...

...Right, immune to fire. I wish the defensive stuff didn't still have this from the vanilla games: Sure, it's nice and reflective of series tradition, but it makes the Fire Flower even worse than it already is. Very little resists the more powerful Thunder Rage item, why is Mario's iconic Fire Flower singled out?

That killed Tutankoopa. And I don't think I get the EXP for offing the second Chomp.

28, yeah, no, I didn't. 4 from Chomp means I'm level 6-7, and 24 from Tut puts me at 7-8. If I was getting 20 from Tut, I'd be level 15-16. Shame, but I can live without.

I got a level up anyway. More BP for the cause!

Tutankoopa falls to the ground, whatever power he ever possessed escaping him.

And considering how he treated ol' Chompy...

Let's leave him to his comeuppance. Chomps are simple creatures, and this one's not going to like me just because I freed him from his master.

We'll grab our card and leave.

Thus Mario and party unearthed the legendary Dry Dry Ruins deep within Dry Dry Desert. They smashed Tutankoopa the Wizard and freed Mamar, the second of the wish-granting Star Spirits. But the enemies awaiting Mario grow ever stronger... and the challenges more difficult. What's in store for Mario and friends... Where will their adventure take them next?

Probably the spooky forest Oaklie is trying his best to keep us out of.

Next time: Things get easier.