Chapter 5x: Throwing Reason Out The Window

...Help me out here, I thought 6 came after 5? What we've got here is a Gaiden Chapter, or as FE7 calls them, "side quests". Why FE7? Because this is the only one in Sacred Stones, and there are no conditions we have to satisfy to play this map, nor are there ways we can fail to access it. Apart from the chapter's "gimmick", there is no reason this chapter couldn't be part of the numbering.

In FEs 6 and 7, the various sidequests were triggered by either doing something in the mission or not doing something (the latter usually being "not killing a certain character"), or perhaps beating the mission in a time limit. In FE6, if you met the conditions, you were automatically sent to the sidequest like in this game. FE7 gave you the option, but there are few reasons to turn it down.

We are going to Renvall, which as you may or may not recall, is Eirika's destination.

And here we can see Valter having some words with a minion.

This man is Tirado, a Grado character important enough to be above Chapter Boss status, but not that much more. In the prototype, I believe the equivalent character was a member of the Imperial Seven. No idea what he did that caused the devs to give him that demotion.

Well, that's good news for us. Our brother can be saved!

Despite all the resources Valter has given him, Tirado has been unable to capture Ephraim.

Ephraim is positioned as being a clever individual here, but pretty much literally everything in the series, including the rest of this game, finds Ephraim to be a half-witted lout who's only good at swinging that lance of his around. Which, in all likelihood, means this line is supposed to convey the idea that Tirado is less competent than that.

Also, we know how many people Ephraim has. That "more than double his numbers" does not mean what Tirado thinks it means.

Perhaps Tirado thinks he has more of these knights than he does. He doesn't have all of the ones he started with.

...

OK, what reputation? Maybe he's hearing this from the prince of Grado, who's liable to talk Ephraim up, but... anyone who knew the man would tell you he can hardly read a book.

Valter, on hearing this hollow praise, decides he's interested in Ephraim- more than usual.

I don't see how he's going to do it if he hasn't already.

Although he promises it.

Good question!

Terrible answer. This is what someone who doesn't have a plan says to stall for time.

"So... you think... that I'm... stalling?"

This, at the very least, qualifies as a plan. Insofar as it it an expression of intent to complete actions at a later date in concert with other people.

Valter realises he's being led on.

Now that is a plan.

...Well, a plan in some respects. It's still only an expression of resources.

The establishing shot here is set in what will be Chapter 6's map. I don't think it's supposed to be the same place geographically, just close enough that you'll be fooled in the two seconds before we move past this shot and into the conversation. I appreciate the hustle.

Say hello to Prince Ephraim! We'll be spending this mission in his company!

And his minionsretainers, Forde and Kyle. Despite the ponytail, Forde is in fact a man. You might notice a problem.

More relevant to right now, though, is what Forde is talking about- Ephraim is in serious trouble. Even if he were good at resource management (which he may or may not be), he has not had a chance to restock.

...Ephraim, master strategist. He's in the woods, alone with barely enough weapons to go around, and he decides getting civilians involved is where he draws the line. You... you cannot conceive of any plan to get resources from a shop covertly?

Forde, I think it might be time to consider that you are insane too.

Forde, somehow, is the most sensible character in this group. Honestly, he's pretty sensible when back in the main party, too, but not enough to really count as the Only Sane Man.

...Through what grapevine? And don't tell me it's the civilians, you've already disproven that hypothesis.

Ephraim's information is so outdated he believes it is still possible for his father to survive. Not "be secretly alive", win the fight that killed him.

Ephraim's job here in Grado has been to give them a bloody nose, distract them from their assault on Renais.

He has been cut off from communications with his allies and this plan is no longer invalid, but dangerous. Grado can afford the manpower Ephraim is eating up.

Orson is the fourth character in this band, and I have the misfortune to inform you that this is the totality of Ephraim's army. No magic offscreen retinue here- Ephraim canonically, and without question, has four people.

Something something Tirado has "more than twice that."

Here's Orson now. That delay goes unquestioned, by the way.

His news gets even worse for Ephraim than it was already.

The inverse, of course, is that there are few places Ephraim can safely tarry.

Ephraim is only mildly perturbed. If at all.

Considering that place is destroyed, this is not a good plan.

...

Rubs eyes.

The idea is that Tirado is losing to this man.

Here we are, at Renvall. That Ballista in the corner sticks out like a sore thumb.

Ephraim's ready to sack a castle. With four men.

Forde would like to hand in his resignation.

I'll be quite blunt. Forde, there are a million reasons this is a dumb idea and this is nowhere near the top of that list. Which is rather impressive, all things considered, because it's not like that's an invalid observation.

Yes, this is why Forde is the only sane man and not Kyle. Kyle's just as bad.

Ephraim, you are doing the stupidest thing known to man. This is no time for jokes.

I hope this is Kyle showing concerns about Ephraim.

At least Ephraim has something approaching logic and rational thought.

Yes, yes, that's why we shouldn't attack it with four men.

Ephraim doesn't seem to have noticed that "if" is carrying the rest of the sentence.

...No.

No.

It wouldn't even if Fado and Eirika hadn't already lost the capital.

Let's see Ephraim get out of that question.

We got him to admit it, small victories!

...

This is, at least, a reasonable point to back up his plan.

Ephraim's dumb idea is so incredibly dumb and bad that it looped back around into being good.

In the best case scenario.

Forde decides that, all else being equal, there are worse ways to die.

I fear you've already past that point.

Tirado will have you believe this is a mastermind of tactical prowess.

Fortunately for Ephraim, he has been met by an equally dumb defending force.

I'd say "dream on", but I have just been going into how dumb Ephraim is right now.

Here we are. There are over twice as many enemy soldiers as we have characters on this screenshot.

Ephraim interrupts the opening to have a peek in to Orson's wellbeing.

This exchange largely serves as a bit of a mechanical clue to the player "Don't use Orson!". While the games like to include clues to not use the overpowered Paladin they start you with (in this game's case, Seth), it is much, much wiser to keep Orson's contributions to a minimum in a standard playthrough.

I think he even survives a permadeath here.

Time for us to, somehow, make Ephraim's stupid plan work.

Say hello to Ephraim. Valour and courage may be for children's tales, but Ephraim is a man with stats. This guy will easily slam into his caps and kick untold quantities of ass at the slightest provocation.

These two are the red and green knights of Sacred Stones. Kyle is the stronger one, Forde is the speedier one. Considering how badly I do when given cavaliers, these two aren't going to be doing much, but...

Orson is Ephraim's Seth, with the quiet little proviso that he will be packing his bags and leaving the party after this mission. Don't get attached, and yes, that does count as a spoiler that he's the mole Tirado mentioned at the start of this mission. Don't you just hate it when gameplay-story integration forces you to spoil things?

Now then, you might wonder how I plan to complete this map with only women considering all four of these characters are men. I regret to inform you that there isn't a way to get that to happen. I can't headcanon one of these characters into being trans to get them to fit arbitrarily into my ruleset- and even if I could, that would probably count as cheating just as much as using them as men would anyway. As a result, the All Girls run will be completing this mission by feeding all of the EXP to Orson. I wish I could give you an explanation more satisfying than "making all the EXP disappear probably satisfies the spirit of the challenge more than any other idea".

I presume you're going to find that boring, so we're actually going to be looking at the Ephraim route file today- this file takes place in Hard Mode, and the Ephraim I get out of it will eventually be used on Ephraim route, as will Forde and Kyle (not that I plan on them being permanent members of the team). That gives us an actual challenge, as well as something interesting to do.

This is Zonta. Or, well, it's Zonta in Hard Mode. Bosses in Hard Mode have stat bonuses- the one Orson faced in the main file was a few points weaker in many of his stats. Those points won't matter too much- it's not like he's any different to deal with.

Ephraim opens festivities, and reminds us that these are Soliders, and it doesn't take an Orson to oneround them.

Here's a little of Ephraim in action.

The enemy advances southwards.

Which is awkward, because we have to deal with things over here.

Forde is using his Javelin to harass that shaman on the other side of the wall.

Ephraim breaks out the Reginleif on this guy. Reginleif is Ephraim's equivalent to the Rapier, and is super-effective on Knights and Cavaliers. Not only is Ephraim stronger than Eirika, but lances have so much more Might that the tripling effect of Effectiveness is that much greater.

No more Knight. In a single blow.

Ephraim's also going to be gathering a few stats, too. Strength, Avoid, Defence, Ephraim is pretty good at all of these.

There was also a Door Key in it for us. At this point, it is important to mention that Ephraim doesn't have a supply convoy. If an item drops and you already have five, you must discard something. Don't get into that situation.

Orson will be handling the Keys, but dropping them is still a major concern.

There was a mage behind the door, and he could reach Ephraim. Not much I could do- I only had one Javelin.

And there's that Shaman.

Kyle's going to take on the Fighter, because those are Ephraim's major weakness.

Ephraim's going to form a wall to help out. The merc shouldn't move from that position no matter which order those two enemies move- Kyle can't kill him, and while Ephraim probably can, the merc's gonna pick Kyle.

I wish these numbers were more favourable.

Healing it is.

Forde coming in handy and getting a crit to help out, judging by the positions of those health bars. Also, we can see that the Fighter did go first- the Merc took his spot.

Both enemies in this room have Chest Keys for those two Chests.

Huh, Ephraim doesn't one-round. I'm amazed this is an exact kill, though.

Keeping that inventory clear...

While Kyle gets the Fighter in here. The Iron Sword proved a more tempting prospect.

You boys are hopeless, you know that, right? Maybe Kyle with the Steel Sword...

Elixir in this Chest. I'd almost say keep the Chest Key.

And that's a lot of effort to get Orson back behind somebody.

Ephraim, because he's Ephraim, charges recklessly into danger.

Forde picks up a Forde level from finishing the fighter.

Kyle keeps following, mostly because I want him dealing with that Fighter.

Also moving this guy up. If I was much better at tricky movements, I'd get Forde's Javelin on him already.

Fighter down.

...I'd say this is a very Kyle level, but Kyle should be a little better than that. And also probably not picking up Speed.

Ephraim continues forward, recklessly ignoring common sense as usual, ready to turn that horse into a fine paste with Reginleif.

Forde is hastening to get that Javelin in his hands.

Orson picked up the other Chest. A Killer Lance is definitely worth picking up- if it was another Elixir or something else relatively banal, I'd say just ignore this room entirely.

This thing kicks ass.

Look, I had the time, let's get rid of the archer. Forde still needs to catch up.

Strength and Defence this time.

And, healing up, Ephraim prepares for the next round. Forde still hasn't caught up.

Pictured: Ephraim goes a round with a Knight without using Reginleif.

Annoyingly, he can't kill the Knight and prepare for the south cavalier.

Fortunately, Kyle can. Leaving all the rest of the EXP to Ephraim.

Nature takes its course.

Strength and Speed. Nought else sucks, but it's Ephraim.

There's the Javelin. Ephraim is in business.

He is so going to Magvel's hell for this.

...This, too.

Oh hey, it's that Shaman Forde irritated earlier. Ephraim's finishing the job.

Once more, the Fighters are in charge.

And apparently, Forde drew the short straw.

I only have so many Vulneraries to go around, too.

Awkward, but I have a plan.

Because thankfully Forde could two shot.

Ephraim steps in here...

And Kyle gets to handle the other one.

Annoyingly, I have few choices if I want to treat that mage with respect.

So I don't.

Ephraim's not scared of Fighters that much.

And hey, he's got a rampage to complete.

Strength and Avoid, this is an Ephraim to write home about.

Kyle is rapidly getting into danger.

At least he's getting Strength.

Ephraim's going to finish these guys off quickly.

It's worth Strength.

The last archer, the rest of the guys can deal with. Ephraim's going to the boss now.

As much as this guy hurts.

Honestly, though, this guy? I'm running out of HP collectively between these two!

At least this was a oneshot.

...I think I can get away with one more hit on Forde.

A withdrawal also works.

Forde gets more Avoid. There's a reason I won't be sticking with these two.

That archer drops an Elixir. It's a droppable item!

Oh yeah, since Orson is ditching us, make sure his inventory is empty. You can usually fit everything into everyone else's inventories, although using up Vulneraries and maybe a Steel Lance means I might not have everything I came into this level with.

...

This is dumb, but I'm healing up first.

Apparently I have. Your move.

...

Well, it was his move.

Also, I didn't get a screenshot, because I was so amazed, but look at my HP. He hit me on a 1.71%. I guess it had to happen in one of fifty runs...

You were more than adequate. Ephraim is just insanely overpowered.

For reference, he is now -3 HP, -2 Skill, +3 Spd, +1 Luck and -5 Res compared to Seth. From about 10 levels down, one of which is his promotion.

And we're done here! Ephraim, Forde and Kyle have Supports with each other, but I don't want any of them.

The plan is no less dumb for having been successful. Ephraim just brute-forced it.

That took out half the troops? Then again, Valter's been supplying reinforcements outside Ephraim's knowledge.

Ephraim, if you didn't have to do siege warfare to take the castle, the enemy doesn't need to do siege warfare to take it back.

Wasn't the whole point of taking this castle to be to be a thorn in Grado's side while Fado and Eirika were busy dying and running away?

No kidding.

Well... "surrounded" is one way of putting it, when Renvall has a massive moat.

You guys are really slow on the upkeep.

Ephraim, very rarely, will chance upon a good idea.

This is one of those things that honestly kinda looks scarier than it is. That's a lot of druids and wyverns to the west, but druids can't cross rivers. Meanwhile, the east has three soldiers, enemies so weak they don't even count as enemies.

Valter applauds Ephraim, but I have to say there's probably a non-zero amount of sarcasm to it. Especially since, you know, Valter now has Ephraim surrounded.

He's also one of the people Vigarde told him to capture.

Just in case you thought this might've been a flashback to when Fado and Eirika were still alive, Valter didn't get this promotion until after the fact.

The good thing about being a tiny force is that it's harder to catch you. The bad thing is the whole "lack of resources" thing.

Even more proof that Renais has been destroyed.

Yeah... Ephraim might be on injured Seth's level, but fighting fit Seth couldn't take on Valter. Granted, Ephraim won't have WTD, but he doesn't have a Silver Lance, either.

Ephraim? You've been out in the woods with absolutely nothing. You have no room to doubt enemy information.

I mean... did he have to have forewarning to prepare this ambush?

Apparently he did, though. That'd be thanks to the mole. Who, uh... hasn't been in this cutscene thus far.

Like hell I'm letting them go into the ether like that. Do you know how rare Reginleif is?

Ephraim is planning something.

Neither of those things is true.

Valter knows he's won.

Ephraim does not.

Now that's a real lie. Or if it's not, Ephraim would quickly prefer death to whatever Valter has in mind. Not sure what that would be myself, but surely it'd be more creative than what he wants to do with Eirika.

You might want Seth for that.

Ephraim is defiant to the end.

Ephraim, who is currently surrounded and in no condition to fight his way out of it, decides he's bored of this conversation and wants to leave.

It would be hilarious if it wasn't so ridiculous.

The wyvern knights, probably. You, I'm more scared of.

Ephraim, that is so going to be the death of you.

Forde has to be sarcastic here, doesn't he? Or possibly unemployable.

You said it, not me.

OK, while that is the smart plan, don't announce it!

That was the most ridiculous chapter in the history of Fire Emblem, and I have the unfortunate duty of informing you it gets even dumber with time- we'll start with the mild spoiler that Ephraim actually got away from Valter here, although 120% of other games would've actually had Ephraim get captured here. Tirado and Valter giving Ephraim praise for qualities that no other part of the game implies Ephraim possesses while Ephraim does something so impossibly reckless and succeeds have (eventually) earned Ephraim a reputation as a Gary Stu, and not without reason.

Chapter 5x is not included in the prototype in any regard, which means that this early cameo of Ephraim was a late addition, and it shows. One of the odd things surrounding this chapter is that it would actually make infinitely more sense if Ephraim was captured here, and it's quite possible they intended that to be the case before this. In discussing this chapter's contents, me and a friend also came to several conclusions about alternate settings and outcomes for "a brief interlude to introduce us to Ephraim" could go with more realistic scopes- including having them attack a supply camp in Chapter 6, going to rescue a character that Ephraim rescues off-screen at some point before Chapter 8, making Orson run distraction to set up the siege in the first place... really, there are a lot of ways to make 5x come off as not nearly as ridiculous as this.

So what has this chapter established? Ephraim is reckless, that's important, and also Orson is someone he trusts that's about to defect, that's also important (imagine if Orson appeared and defected immediately). Those are main things that this chapter includes narratively, although it does fill an important mechanical role of giving Ephraim, Forde and Kyle a little experience and playtime, because we only get one more chance to use him before the route split. But there's one important element that isn't in this chapter- that character Ephraim rescues off-screen. The fact that Ephraim knows her is critical to the story, and the fact she just... randomly shows up between this and Ephraim's reappearance in Chapter 8 is a plot hole that feels like something should be filling it. Perhaps the late addition of this chapter means the dev team didn't have as much time as they'd have liked to do rewrites on the whole setup. This game was already a side-project to PoR as it was.

Next time: Seth owes us an exposition drop.